Chapter 1: fallen
G r a c e
"Send the murder to a dungeon!"
“But Queen, I didn’t! It wasn’t me! I couldn’t kill your son!” I begged her as I was on my knees on the marble floor, left alone in a place full of people, between her loud insults and old marble tiles.
She was the one who was barely waiting this moment to get rid of me from her palace. I see the way her hate travels through her eyes straightforward to me - is so sick feeling of us, known beings. To enjoy the pain of someone’s suffering is so miserable that my disgust is just breathing in the vicinity of such beings. The richness of the suffering - they thought is so funny show to watch; alike brilliant opera inside of the glorious theater. They love it. Adore it.
Likely Shakespeare came upon me and made flat tragedy upon a romance between two individuals. The façade of goodness is crumbling like blocks that disappear when the unconquerable castle of a powerful leader is attacked during the war. A diligent disintegration of humanism is one of the possible causes of the destruction of this dirty society. Blaming me, the real culprits are washing their hands from this low act. How nice of them, note to sarcasm.
“You bloody killer! You will wish for the death you brute!” She slapped me hard across my cheek, settling me with all force to lye down on the glassy stone. My harden gaze drifted up in an instant at this cruelty that has no name for me, but all my anger left me as I saw his arriving in the distance. Nicholas. His face lost its golden hue as he was watching his beloved brother and me beside him. He was devastated; he didn’t believe me. No one assumed that it wasn’t . . .
No one, of course. They waited for a right moment to fall on me and demolish me on pieces. Rich.
“Guards!” Now is Nicholas time to declare something as he stood right in front my body like the king he implied to be - mighty and without fear for rough outcomes of his next words. “I thought that you are like no other, but how was I wrong. . . You aren’t my fiance; she is dead from this day on. Take her from my eyes,” said Nicholas, disgust with my presence under his imperial feet. He loathed me on sight of my spreading form on the floor. I had prayed that he would believe me - his lover. But he hadn’t got a purpose to do that now.
He surrendered without a fight for me; without one word from his mouth that I once touched blandly. Why can’t you, believe me at least once my dear love? I asked within my sorrowful eyes that were watching his blue pools. Nicholas understood their’s silent talk but didn’t move to please them nor answer them. Just one word is enough. . .
“I didn’t! You must believe me! I just came here and saw him in the center! I’m innocent!” I shouted at all the bells of their minds as the guards were taking me vigorously from this cursed room - it was frequented by the ghosts of a past that were nearby high ceilings watching this spectacle. They laughed on full display of horrified tone of this deathly throne. I would to if I didn’t get a handcuffed by many rough hands of guards who were giving me pain - physical, because someone else got an honor to get me mentally, right targeting in the core.
The rogue tears streamed down my cheeks in the last ball of my broken soul and there wasn’t time to brushed them away; I didn’t bother about it, let them show person’s suffering. The awareness of these actions has just come to my brain, thoughtful and slowly sneaking up to me in this tumult around me.
Blood crept to me; calling me silently from my dreams. The cry of the attack was heard in the middle of this gloom’s present, strongly echoing through the deepest spot of a castle. With hasty steps and entering through the large doors of the throne chamber, I came upon a scene where on middle was laying a lifeless body of the youngest prince of this kingdom, wrapped in a thick blood that was pooled around him like a second skin.
Running to him with all my strength, I faintly aimed his head to my lap to recognize an alive pulse - but there wasn’t the one; he was just velum without a mind behind. Sealed in the darkness of the storm behind the open windows that banged their strength on the royal walls of this palace.
So young, so weak before their struggle with nature. Poor soul, I thought while I gently dragged my fingers through his blue hair, which was illuminated over the thunder. I wish you happiness once again. We’ll meet in your next life, Ronnie, I whispered ghostly in his left ear.
Killed in the worse way, without dignity as a sincere individual. Struggle for life, which is to be honorable to lose in the field of blood with fighting for his own ideal - he couldn’t get. So shameless, no one deserves that kind of death.
And no one believed me of all these people. They thought that I was responsible for this disgusting deed. Not even a person who I assume that I loved, got to listen to my side of a story. Only those wronged souls whose laughter hangs from the ceiling have knowledge of the truth, but who can see them. No one but me. Tragicomic, indeed.
They threw on me eighteen blows of a whip, on my swollen back. Eighteen for each year of the former monarch. They punished me, he punished me. The vigor of the scent of my own blood is so intoxicating that I sincerely crave to laugh out loud because of my strong desire to feel anything. Finally, a pain that I wish for a long time made its debut.
And tomorrow they resolved to liquidate me from this world, yet they can’t. I will abdicate my life. I just want a rest from this awful system; from the whole universe. I will try; no one can stop me.
Entering into a small cell without an opening to the outside, I met the nasty awakening air of this little prison. Far from inexplicable eyes, hidden in depth behind these massive walls, I can no longer breathe. It seems that silence itself is my only companion here. Leaving me on the cold floor, my sighs and tears are the only sounds. No even mice for a supporter.
In the end, I always get what I deserve - a loneliness that fills me with being delivered a long time ago.
This silent silence gives me the reason to think about my doubtful life; my not so awe-inspiring living. With every sigh I made, I dreamed of when I will become no one and nothing. Just a free dust of the worlds, without any purpose, like ultraviolet light from the sun. No desire and power in this weak body and brain. . . No feelings that give me anxiety.
I want to feel alive, while in the other I want to disappear. No one to ever meet.
I was again holding on that thought that he was the one and I finally can say I secret of mine. Hah. How truly pathetic I am, that get through my mind straightway when I finally get all the pieces in right position. He isn’t in love with me - he never was in first place. Nicholas is in skinny love with my presentation. Pardon, was.
He loves to have a trophy that he can settle right aside many others on his overflowing shelf and that everybody witness what beauty he caught in low hunting.
Suddenly, the sound of moving chains broke me from the wild thoughts of my cognizance. With my hands, I feverishly examined the wall that I was leaned to and finally felt a small hole in it with dimensions right just for my hand to go through it.
“Hello, there...” I husky deep voice responded to me as I was sitting on the cold floor. There was something familiar in that voice, but I could not point on what; like it was desperate for unknown things, but strangely it was pleasing to hear aliveness below the building.
“Who are you?” I turned to the source of this voice while the flat wall was standing in the midst of our goals, leaving me in anticipating for someone’s sound.
“Me? I’m a devil,” I snorted at his clear response, but my laugh wasn’t long one because I felt the throbbing in the back. A pain feels good, coughing I remarked myself. A little bit of deception and jokes are truly never boring to have. They both can anger you and they both can make you smile.
“Lucifer down here? That’s funny,” I replied him knowingly of the facts that even if this is a prison of most famous Merdine order, it can’t get a lord of Underworld here. “So ridiculous,” my smiling once again resounded across this restricted cave.
“I know, darling. And to me, it’s ironic how I’m here. For a decade! Me, Lucifer, the strongest demon from the hell. . . It’s really funny indeed,” devil chuckled bitterly as he silently uttered those last words, but I heard clearly. “And what are you doing here? As I cannot see, I can hear you have a kindness in your voice, not evil hearted one?”
“I’m murder,” trying that solution of a possible answer; to see what he’ll say is so exciting. How naughty of little Grace. What a misery make wicked people do...
“No, you’re not,” in a flash he retorted. By him declaring that to me, I held before the belief that other people I personally knew would trust me and tell these same damn words as Lucifer, but it seems that the truth finally came out, that is, to the light of the luminescence.
Behind every face lurks another one, followed by another and so on. It appears that completely unrelated persona - devil or not - believe me without any comment. Without any explanation. How we’re disgusting folks.
“Not everyone thinks that. I see the way their dirtiest thoughts and guts came upon moments they won’t wish to happen. They’re so cruel that-”
“More than me?” spoke Lucifer as he cut me off with his laughter that is so melodious that I would melt in it. To listen to him every day, it would be a dream. It should be illegitimate.
“Eviler than you even,” a playfulness faded away from my stoic face as I recalled recent events of this day.“They’re just so envious. Ruthless . . . If they don’t have something, they will not give someone else to have it either,” knowing precisely who murder little Ronnie. Awful.
The silence took its place in this subterranean place once afresh. But it wasn’t awkward. No, comfort has stayed cryptic, even if the man that I don’t see-I’m not frightened of his existence near me. After some long minutes, a hiss was heard from another side of the thick wall.
“Are you fine?” I asked him nonchalantly. I didn’t have some kind worry for his well, but I wanted to break a silence apart. He’s foreign after all, I don’t have any connections with him besides a couple of shared words.
“If you counted being fine if I’m under invisible chains and in scars then I’m perfectly fine, darling,” beside Lucifer’s mocking laugh that came upon my ears, I heard some puking as the smell of the sickly stench interwave my nostrils. He wasn’t indeed.
But, he was nice, this stranger of mine.
“Give me your hand,” I found to strength to demand it after quite some time thinking. Maybe, a wing of my soul that broked. . .maybe it will do the thing.
“What?” Lucifer questioned confused.
“Just give me a hand, I don’t bite,” I raised myself upright and sat down close to the little hole waiting patiently. His hand came from little passage between these thick walls and me tenderly with my smaller one, I found his rough without disturbance of silence. I hope this works, I prayed to myself.
As my eyes were coming to close, I bend down and gently planted a featherlike kiss upon it. I felt as my orbs get behind my leads traveling similar to the end of my head as I savored the taste of near sleep.
“What are-” he didn’t finish as he felt the very known energy surge through his body, passing within every fiber while healing his wounds entirely. I sank back to the ground with a thud on freezing rocks and a sigh shook my chapped lips. Finally, I did it.
And promptly, an eager rest will come.
“Why did you do it?” Lucifer’s now strong voice echoed in my ears. He has such gentle voice when I little bit get of studying it. My liberation is approaching, I acknowledge.
“You believed me,” I responded with row voice that was just above a whisper as an exhaustion developed my body and mind.
“You’re not a human,” stated devil sighting tiredly even if he got back his divine strength.
Why wouldn’t speak now before my own release? Why should lie to this angel among the demons? He accepted me without the awareness of my story. It’s the end. Nevertheless, I’ll permit the truth to come to him if he sought out.
“You covered your aura. Why?”
“Some stories are better to stay unsaid, Lucifer. You know that.” I grunted tiredly as my brain desired sleep.
“Will you heal?”
“I want a break. Thank you, Luc-,” brutally, I stopped speaking as my conscience fade away from sight and I sank into the deep sleep with a blanket of coldness upon me. The yells were heard in distance, perhaps calling me, but it was too far away.
Too far. . .
The rushing steeps were heard like hundreds are made above the ground that trembled under me as I was waking up from my sleep. Opening my eyes, I didn’t meet a dark. No. Someone was in front of me, but my vision was too dazzled by the pain of my back and without wishing to heal, I lay down there, on the cold floor of this cell waiting for a thing I want - death.
A dark tall figure was bent down at me and scooped me into his strong arms carefully like I’m a fragile girl. His warm flesh touched mine stiff. Marks, inks were seen on solid person’s body. . . They’re artistic even if I didn’t simply recognize them. A hand gently stroked my cheek while moving a lock of hair slowly above my the ear. My eyes were still halfway closed, but I feel like I knew this beautiful creature.
“Lucifer...” his name escaped my parted lips like an inaudible whisper as I lifted my throbbing head to make sure if it’s really him or just an illusion.
“Shh, darling. We’re going now. Sleep."
And then again the dark appeared beneath my eyes.