Chapter 17: By Midnight's Power
“Let me just say how grateful I am that you all came out here,” Luna Willow announces as we all sit patiently during the closing ceremony as the last week has dragged on for ages. The night after the game, Flynn did not comes to breakfast, saying he was sick, but in reality: he had a hangover and didn’t want to face me. In all honesty, I almost played sick that morning too. The week dragged on, barely seeing Flynn as he was trying to avoid me, not because he wanted to, but because he knew it was what I wanted. But now here I sit, dressed in a beautiful, mid-thigh length black dress, lace sleeves, a backless except for the thin layer of black lace, and my hair pulled back, my feet strapped into black heels and everyone else eager to begin the night. We have dressed up for the night, many other girls also in their signature black dress for a party as the boys wear a more formal suit, but not as much as they would for prom.
Flynn sits beside his father as his mother gives a short speech to those who attended, thanking us for our two weeks of the summer when we could be having bonfires or painting the town red. His eyes are on me every so often, his hair combed back yet a tad messy, his build nicely emphasized in his attire as a black tie is what makes me think of some shameful thoughts. Hell, all it would take is getting him alone and pulling him bye it-
Let’s just say I’ve had a little to drink because of my nerves, knowing that this party will start off formal and the second the clock strikes twelve we will let loose. Alcohol is going to be passed around, music will be playing, my heels will replaced by flats, my hair down, and probably my body pressed against someone as I let loose and try to erase this night. I’ve heard about how these parties go, how some people let loose, some head to the woods for a hook up, others pass out drunk, and the wise head to bed before they have perhaps a tattoo of a toaster upon their left calf (last year’s highlight story).
As the closing ceremony is done, we all rise to our feet, thanking the warriors who helped these weeks as well as the Luna and Alpha. Flynn leaves his parent’s side, meeting up with Cole and Meghan as the pack house is left for our crazy events for the night. The Moon Goddess help this night not go up in flames as too many mistakes are made to count of ten pairs of hands.
Everything goes bye fast, for one second I’m in the pack house all collected, and the next my hair is down to my waist, my flats on, and letting loose as I take a shot of the alcohol before me. Yvette claps me on the back, taking one right after me as the future Beta, Cole, pours us another round. I take it, knowing my limits as I know how much I can take.
Soon I’m allowing the music to take over, letting go as I close my eyes, swaying to the music as I feel his eyes upon me. I need this night. Someone is behind me, I push away, keeping those eyes in mind as I want this night to myself. I need to forget the troubles of the night as I need to embrace the point of no return. No return because tomorrow I will wake up, knowing I can never redo tonight. No, I don’t plan on sleeping with someone or streaking across the yard, but because I will go back to life tomorrow, with Augustus, and make Flynn suffer every time he watches us. I need to forget that tonight. I need to forget that soon Flynn will be heartbroken once more, but this, he cannot go to me for a haven, but only himself.
By the strike of midnight I’ve made myself tired than ever, swaying my body to the beat as Yvette is beside me, drunk and out of control as I am her anchor tonight. People have already snuck out into the woods to have some fun, others has gotten high, and others have forgotten their names. Tonight I am not Gatsby. Tonight I am Daisy, dancing through the night as I drink my alcohol as the one who plays Gatsby tonight watches me from the second floor. Every turn I make, every step I take, he watches with such intensity that it makes me take another shot. I am like Daisy, for I know the control I hold as well. I know the control I hold over Gatsby as I am in his domain, just out as reach as Tom is in my life, even if he’s miles away. But this story is better. This time there is no Myrtle to interfere, only Daisy as Tom and Gatsby fight for her love. Fight like some award, but I know I am more than an award to both. I know I have them both head over heels, it’s just a matter of which one has me in return.
With my hands running in my hair, I shut my eyes, raising my hands up to the sky as the bass drops and I find myself making my way away from the crowd and down a hall. My bare feet now walk across the wooden floor, the shadows of the hall enclosing around me as I let a ghost smile cross my lips as I take in the night. Stretching out my hands, I run my fingers across the cold walls, leaning back my head as I walk all alone on the hallway.
“Amory?” The smile stretches across my lips as I know where he is. “Amory.” I walk forward, opening my eyes to see him before the massive window at the end of the hallway, the moonlight pouring in as he is now a silhouette.
I can smell the alcohol on his breath.
I can smell the sweat of the people from the dance floor.
I can hear the thumping of the beat and feel the vibrations of the music through the walls.
“Tell me something, Amory.”
I stop in my steps, raising an eyebrow as Flynn walks forward, his thin black tie still on yet loose, his white shirt with the sleeves pulled up, his tan skin on display as I know that shirt hiss a well-worked body. After all, no one who has been with him keeps anyone from the details that he’s got a great body. Hell, it doesn’t taken 20/20 vision to know that.
“Tell me that you love only Augustus and no one else. Tell me that no one else holds a piece of your heart except Augustus and you’ll never have to deal with me again.” I know Flynn’s alcohol limit, and I know he’s drunk himself enough to drown in it. All because of me. All because I cannot be unfair to my mate.
I tilt my head to the side as he stands right before me, his fingers under my chin as I look up at him through my eyelashes.
“You know the answer,” I whisper, leaning into his touch as I offer him a sly smile. “You don’t need my answer to be sure in the matter.” His eyebrows knit together as I know what he wants, what he wants to do so badly. “What’s holding you back?” I pressure, winking as I watch his jaw clench.
“You.” I await his full response. “You’re holding me back.” I pour my lips.
“Why would I?”
“Because you’re drunk and so am I,” he replies, removing his fingers as I let a frown form upon my face. “If we were in our right state of minds we would not be here. You would be telling me off and I would not dare take advantage of you because I could never do that to you.”
I smile. “Your mate will love you.”
He backs away. “I don’t want a mate.” I shake my head, knowing he has no idea what he is talking about. “I want you, Amory, because I love you more than anything and nothing you say can ever change that. No mate will just suddenly make me fall out of love with you because love is not that easy to forget, especially if I know you are who I should be mates with. Augustus should not of been picked as your mate, but me, because we are made for one another.”
I shocked, one second in the middle of the hall and the next I’m against the wall, his body so close to be pressed against mine as his shadow looms over me in the pale moonlight. Tomorrow I already know what will happen, how I’ll be back home, on a date with Augustus in the evening, back in his embrace, and Flynn heartbroken once more. Tomorrow we go back to our real lives and are no longer secluded from reality.
“What do you want from me, Amory?” Flynn asks, cupping my cheeks with his hands as a soft smile spreads across my face.
“You won’t remember a fraction of this night and neither will I...we will never remember tonight.” He’s right, we’re both too drunk. I stumble trying to take hold of his hands, unable to keep my balance as I grab onto his tie, pulling him down with me as we fall to the floor.
He falls on top of me, a laugh escaping my lips as he does the same, his laugh filling the empty hall as my heart speeds up. My hands find their way to his chest, grabbing ahold of the expensive fabric as I bunch it up in my hands, pulling him closer onto me as he looks up. His eyes are full of surprise, searching my face for any sign of what will happen next as I know who waits for me back home.
I release his shirt, my arms wrapping around his neck as I pull him close, placing a kiss upon his lips, short and sweet as I close my eyes. Brief and I pull away, his eyes still closed as my heart races within my chest. I’ve screwed up. “Goodnight, Flynn,” I whisper, his eyes opening as a new song begins. “Goodnight.”
I’m gone, out of his grasp, out of reach, my bare feet upon the stairs soon rough as I climb the stairs. As I reach the third floor, I look below, now looking out upon the crowd below as the music plays. My eyes meet his in the mess, my heart stopping shortly as I know where this night must end: alone. Turning my back, I leave him, heading off to bed as I know Augustus awaits me, and we’ve held one another accountable, we trust one another, and I’ve broken that trust. I kissed Flynn on my own and know I have betrayed my mate.
I’ve given Flynn something he never needed, something I never wanted him to have. I’ve given Flynn something that he can use.
I gave Flynn hope, and that is my first mistake.