“Your majesty” the visiting king said kissing my hand and bowing to me. Do not bow to him. Do not bow to him. I kept reminding myself, maybe if I kept telling myself that it would sink in. so far it hasn't but it will one day. I think. I bow to no one. Not to other royals, no one. I was giving myself this talk a lot, I had a lot to learn still and I sometimes feel I will never get it. okay I am starting to suspect I will never get any of this. I should not be in a castle playing princess that isn't who I am. I'm just a 16 year old girl who has been hunted and had people try kill me my whole life. That made more sense than this! I have only been the princess of all Amaris for 3 month now and I am finding it extremely hard, I longed for my old calculous lessons that I found impossible. I longed to be washing dishes. (yes I am fully aware how ironic that is) but instead I was being treated as a walking doll and forced to meet loads of people who were curious about me. but none cared to get to know me. No one wanted to know me, the person I was inside. How was I meant to rule them if I didn't get to know them and they didn't get to know me? One day I would have to rule a whole species that may look like humans but are an ancient race. Similar to vampires and witches called the Amaris meaning ‘child of the moon’ we are not immortal, although are life expectancy is much longer than a humans. The thought of drinking blood from a human makes me sick but most of my kind does. I drink from blood bags though. I’m 16 I thought I was 17 but I’m not. I’m just one 16 year old. One 16 year old who doesn't have a clue how to be a princess and on top of that, I really don't think I want to be a princess or a queen. This is all too much for me. I want to go back to Paris or New York. both made more sense to me than this!
After the visiting king left I flopped back on the sofa very un-princess like. I looked at my guard who was closest to me "How many more of these people do I have to meet?" I asked him in French, as I had defiantly heard him talk to the others here in French. so I knew full well he wasn't a mute and would understand me. He looked a few years older than me, he had blonde hair that was held back in a ponytail. he was in the black jacket that had filled my nightmares for all my childhood. I looked at the dragon symbol on the sleeve. I was trying to work out there symbols. his was a red dragon spurting fire with a number 2 on. there was more symbols on patches down the jacket. one day I would find out what all the symbols mean. The guard didn't take his eyes of my surroundings. he kept his entire focus on the door and not me. How do they consider it polite to ignore me? Don't they understand that I am constantly surrounded but I feel so alone. I wished Marianna a guard who at least talked to me didn’t have to have a day off, but I couldn't begrudge her time off. watching me die of boredom must be boring to her. I picked a bit of thread on my new dress, looking at the jade thread with distaste. my kingdom for some jeans, my kingdom for my converses back. But all my clothes had been taken away from me, they weren't fitting of a princess apparently. everything I had now was new. It was all so new! new parents, new kingdom, new princess, new, new, new! and I am sick of it! I should have always been a princess apparently but I was kidnaped as a very young baby. I was raised in fear of the people I now call my citizens, by the people that killed my sister. My mum Nicky, no my kidnapper had raised me believing that she was my mum. she had apparently kidnapped me. but one thing I don't and never will doubt she loved me. I am starting to feel more than my parents ever could! My friend’s brother prince Marco spent the past 15 years hunting me after he promised my sister whilst she died that he would find me and protect me. He loved her in a I will go to the ends of the earth for a promise to you. it was rather romantic and even when I'm mad at him. I kind of want someone to one day love me as much as he loved Elizabeth. Marco has even given up the chance to sit on his own throne in the court to keep his promise to her of keeping me safe. I sometimes think I was a disappointment to him. Well I don’t think I was, I knew I was. I was a disappointment to them all. I see that in the queens eyes every evening at dinner. I think they all thought I would just settle in naturally and know what the hell I am meant to be doing. rather than spend my time craving the outside world. not just the outside world. plain outside would do me! I think they all thought, I would be more like Elizabeth rather than the most confused princess there ever was and one day I would be the most confused queen ever. I DONT EVEN WANT THE THRONE! I just wanted a family. I just wanted to be safe. I just wanted someone to love me. My parents and I were trying to get to know each other, but they were so busy trying to sort out this unusual situation. Well at least that’s what they said to me, I think they didn’t know what to say to me, so one hour a day at a dinner table with a meal I will not eat is all they feel like they can put up with my bad manners and my slang, apparently me chewing my hair is extremely un-princess like. Didn’t they realise I only chew my hair because I am nervous and scared? this isn't my world and I feel like a duck out of water. Now with threats on my life coming in daily, it was just adding to all the fears everyone had for my safety. So basically all I am allowed to do is stay in the palace, surrounded by guards. no one talking to me. I feel like I am a prisoner. I still feel so alone as no one will talk to me. I have private tutors as my magic is behind, my school work was okay but there are a lot of things I needed to know, although I am surprising them all by how quick I can learn that sort of thing. There is a hell of a lot for me to learn. The history of my own people for a start. How to be a princess, and all the names of everyone. which is something I don't think I will ever master. I sometimes regret ever meeting Prince Andrew or Drew as I call him. but then I realise if I hadn't gone into the night club that night, I would still be running for my life scared. My parents want to love me and I want to love them. they spent 15 years trying to find me. I would still be running and fearing all these people, if I hadn't met Drew. I hadn't been living I had been running for my life.
I looked around the room. it was a lovely room really. A pale cream with light blues. it was like a perfect sky and the cream was the puffy clouds. The sofa itself felt like I was lying down on a cloud. I have to admit one thing, I am living in luxury. even if that isn't who I am. I miss who I am, I miss my friends. when I was with Drew I had gone to school. I had made friends with humans in France and with 2 other Amaris. Princess Kayla and my boyfriend Prince Luke. Well at least I hoped he was still my boyfriend. I hadn’t been able to see him or even talk to him in over 3 months, and I knew he would be back at his boarding school surrounded by other Amaris. he had never made it a secret from me that he was a playboy as well. He never gave me butterflies but I had really liked prince Luke. I think the fact I haven't talked to anyone my age in months is driving me nuts. I don't even have a TV here as apparently the court didn’t get any signal. Yet they all had mobiles that worked! I was just the only one who didn’t. Although I hadn’t even had the guts to ask my parents for one. I hadn't had the guts to ask them for much. after the queen screaming at me in Greek my 4th week here when I asked if I could go to the court. how she had yelled at me my 6th week here when I asked if I could at least walk the grounds. I was dolled up but I felt more trapped than I ever had in my life.
I looked at the 5 guards around the room wondering where Marco was, because at least he would talk to me. at least when I was with him, I didn't feel so alone. He was normally always around even if it was just to tell me quietly to sit straighter, I think as he had been raised a Prince he knew exactly how I should act. I did try to listen to him, even when all I wanted to do was stick my tongue out at him behind his back and scream at him that I am trying! I did stick my tongue out at Marco behind his back a lot, if Marianna and Joe are with me they at least will have to stifle a laugh and give me a smile. but I couldn’t get any emotion out of the others yet, including the maids and runners. In fact they wouldn’t talk to me yet either. Marco unfortunately has been busy a lot recently sorting out all my threats. Which were real possible threats and which were just to keep everyone on their toes, why they all hate me so much I don't know. its not my fault I've been dragged into this life. believe me I came kicking and screaming. if it wasn't for a tranquiliser I would like to think I would still have my freedom. “So has anyone watched anything good on tv” I said to no one in particular as I knew none of them would reply anyway. to be honest I was just trying to fill the silent void. “Read a good book?” I asked in a weak hope of hearing anyone's voice. a weak hope of having someone to talk to. I played with one of my loose strawberry blonde ringlets that my maid had pain stately done this morning. when she had dressed me, because even saying 'I can dress myself' is met with silence and then being forced dressed and hair done, then on top of that they then spend time doing my makeup. I feel like even my own body isn't mine anymore. there was no reply from the room. I longed to just throw my jeans and a t-shirt on and put my hair up. I long to be me. “Anyone know where Marco is?” I asked still knowing no one would answer, I was meet with deaf silence. but I wasn’t expecting it. I have given up expecting anyone to talk to me. I stood up and walked towards the door. Instantly everyone sprung to motion and started following me 2 right next to me, 2 behind and 1 went in front. I always wonder how the person in front knows where I plan to go, because even I don't know where I plan to go. but then I followed him hoping he would take me to where ever
Marco was. or something to fill my time until bedtime. I kind of didn’t know my way around my new home. It was way too big. I didn’t want to live in such a huge castle. surrounded by people who won’t talk to me for the next 480 ish years! this isn't a life, this is a prison.