Parents fuck you up said Larkin. He was never a parent for some reason he did not think of himself as one. He said he never grew into the part. But he was a grand librarian. Parents fuck you up. I am drowning not waving said Stevie Smith also a non starter. A thing of beauty lasts forever said somebody else, but does it called Housman. Because a thing which once was beautiful would not remain so if what life has to hand it to it happens. Did he mean babies or something babies are beautiful and would they remain as naive as innocent as angelic as they were Christine? Despised said John Clare we are all despised.
Now she was an interesting piece? Which poet was that? Stevie Smith was Miss.
Now let me see? I have failed my A levels yet again Miss? I do not r What is interesting is you are all over the place. Remember names, do you remember my name. No Miss. It is a pity your essays are a shambles too. No memory if you only applied yourself. I did not cause the accident which took away my name Miss. But I could not remember the accident as this had happened to me as a child thrown out from the bike into the fields like a unwanted animal. In a crash helmet? In a crash helmet is it not nice Miss when I can’t ride on bikes and do not remember the reason why? That is why I lost out on love Miss that is when my husband boyfriend and life partner went and married her Miss her Miss Her miss.
Larkin I think did everything methodically he labelled all his reading material all his Agatha Christie books and his literature reading intact. Beatrice Potter’s Winnie the Pooh all of it there he had read three thousand of these precious jewels.
“Low taste in literature.”
This is not a nice literature to read in schools. I did not mean it to be read in schools it is not scholarly it is not nice and it is not pleasant. This is more unpleasant than the rice pudding we got from school and they were most unpleasant.
“He must have read a bit in the library too?”
“What of course he did. In the library he was a grown up at home he did what he pleased.” They said he did read all day in his spare time. You see if one works the spare times are all yours if not working one is worn out all the time not even time to sit down.
“The class I was in said that is all the books in the library he read. Re-read it was like he had them off by heart. He knew all of the books at which quotation at which literary thing. Where it is beginning to make sense is it not?”
Poets do read poets unless they are dyslexic then it matters not metre and rhyme let us deal with the words.
There is nothing I would care to do but to make believe this did not happen that I had a happiest of childhood that my parents were the pillars of society and did me no harm. But you see that was not true that was never true.
“Loved by all of the literary world.”
“Not true trust in God.”
“God never let me down he gave me diabolical parents and then left me to feed a family of vampires.”
“That is the truth?”
“That is what children feel like to feed sisters when one is a young girl is like feeding a family of vampires because others want to come and feed off them too.”
“How many did?”
“I do not know Miss.”
“Why don’t you know?”
“I am despondent to say that there is nothing healthy in thinking about such matters.”
“Such matters are a disaster to think about.”
“They bring on the headaches Miss.”
“Yes Miss migraines.”
“Don’t eat chocolate and cheese they are bad for migraines.”
“The only things which I eat Miss.”
My insecurities produced in me something unique a little thinking would make me able to laugh and I enjoyed myself no end thinking the ridiculous my only pastime was that. In a way dealt with my own loneliness. I would hear myself cry and then laugh at the world all at the same time in a moment my mood would swing in a day I would go through crisis and all that and then in a moment would be sensible and sweet. That I was a girl did not matter I had somehow not the clean breathe of health went to the doctor he prescribed some sweets. My moods improved. I did not understand why?
“There is nothing but cheese on the moon.” I told my school class at Collingwood. They all began to throw things at me. Paper airplanes kept on coming at me driving into my hair one at a time I hate airplanes why did she make them do paper airplanes and throw it at me laughing at it as if a joke so harsh as if the life spent out of me?
“The BBC now has nothing to declare it does not fully inform us at all. It begins to laugh at us the public. This is the weather girl wearing something very fetching and should disguise facts which are awkward to mention.”
“The republican BBC.”
“The dogma of the BBC never had a liking for them when they said the establishment better poets than us at the down and outs.”
“We do not only distrust you but we actually think we will lose money and money being our mainstay we can only offer you fifty pounds a idea.”
“Well bless us and all of us what to make of this humble selves?”
“Go and drown yourselves.”
“Fuck off we like to wave as we do.”
“We in our own houses able to swear by the meal tickets?”
“We only have our animals.”
“We love them.”
“RSPC has them injected every year God bless the RSPC.”
“Yes that is the truth of the matter.”
“Immunisation times girls.”
“I think I will not come.”
“You will come at all costs.”
“Immunisation time.” said mother.
“You see if there is anything nice going on she says no and if there is bad things she remembers.”