Chapter 43 - Marco POV
NOT EDITED YET
From the moment she came out her room I wanted to talk to moon. But she seemed not ready. I kind of understood her wanting to shower before she faced anyone. After 8 days of being asleep I would want to shower. We all sat there in absolute silence working out what to do. I looked at Marianna worried. She smiled at me encouragingly. We had talked about this a lot. But I had no clue moons thoughts on this. She had cried most of the memories. Derek had told me she loved me. I loved her. God she was my daughter I was so sorry for being such a rubbish father. Why couldn’t I just have known? Why couldn’t I have raised her? “For god sake Marco.” Beth’s voice said in my head. “How long can she bloody shower for?” Drew asked. “She’s very in touch with her water side.” Erin said shrugging. “Water users just need longer showers.” Sep told him shrugging herself. “She’s possibly trying to sort out her hair.” Sep said with a smile. “8 days of not brushing it
with curls that’s going to kill.” Taylor informed us. “Icicles?” Erin asked innocently. “Give her 2 more minutes’ if she’s not out then we can all send icicles.” Derek said with a smile. I knew he possibly wanted to talk to her the second most out of everyone. “Did she actually take clothes?” Taylor asked worried. We all heard the tap start instead. “This is why next year I think you girls need 4 bathrooms.” Kye told them with a smile. “Do you always take so long?” Marianna asked them interested. “yes.” all the boys in the room said. Taylor had gone over and was talking to her through the door. She then walked into her room after saying “can someone cook some chips?” Sean went and started. “Fries after 8 days not eating?” Spencer said shaking his head. Then I watched her disappear into the bathroom with the clothes. “Should we go now?” Sep asked worried, but that was when she finally came out. Dressed her hair in a wet plait. She looked wide awake but scared stiff. She walked straight up to Derek and kissed him. I realised he possibly looked the most stressed. He had kept popping in every spare second he got all week. Trying to be there when she woke up. “I’m fine don’t look so panicked.” She told him teasingly. She then quickly went around hugging
everyone. “Come on I got to steal a bus at least 8 times before I die.” She teased us all. I really was word stumped I had a whole speech prepared but I couldn’t bring myself to say it, yet. “Don’t joke.” Drew warned her hugging her. “Sorry I panicked you all.” she said hugging me. I didn’t actually want to let her go. I wanted to be alone to talk to her. Why was this so bloody hard? She asked about classes. Really she was worried about missing lessons? She defiantly took after Beth. “Marco she’s as stubborn as you.” Beth said in my head. Yeah I’m not the one who arranged everything even after I was dead, I thought but I knew that was harsh. She had no choice that much I did realise. “Don’t let her run make her talk.” Beth told me again. “Don’t let her blame herself.” She told me sternly. She had hugged everyone and was teasing Duncan about his cooking. I decided then that it was enough just random chat, we needed to properly talk but she headed me of. “So how much trouble am I in?” she asked me with a nervous grin. For the summer a lot I thought, but decided there was a different time to bring that mess up. “I’m sorry.” It was all I could get to come out my mouth. I was sorry for not being there for her as much as I should. I was sorry for everything she
had been through. I was sorry for taking so long to work it all out. I was sorry for not having a clue what to say to her. She looked worried, I didn’t know what was going on in her head, any more than she did mine. I realised we were both waiting to see how the other reacted. Neither knowing what to do or what to say. “Can everyone please go so we can talk?” I asked the room. I wanted to talk to her alone. “Come on everyone go bed. No listening at doors.” Taylor said seriously. Everyone but Taylor, Sean, Drew, Kayla, Marianna and Derek left. Sepiah and Jessie taking Cole Toby and Felicity with them they were all asleep. I really didn’t like the idea of felicity being so far away from me. Especially now. But I trusted them with her. Same as I trusted them with my eldest. “Sorry about the 8 days in all honestly I feel like I’ve only just gone bed.” She told us trying to be calm. She had settled so that she was as close to Derek as she could be. Holding his hand tight, she really did love him a lot. She looked at me and I saw her thinking what to say but same as me the only words that came out her mouth were. “I’m sorry.” She seemed to really mean the words. What the hell did she have to be sorry about? It was everyone else who should be apologising to her. “You
really do blame yourself for everything. If you ever scare me again. I will become the evil stepmother and lock you in a tower.” Marianna told her hugging her tight. Well that kind of addressed how Marianna felt towards her I suppose. She kind of laughed kind of just hugged tighter. “Okay then.” She told Marianna with a smile. She stood up and walked away from us. What I thought I wondered what she was doing and went to follow as she walked into her room. She didn’t go in there for long but came out gripping hold of a book to her chest. What was she doing now? She ignored us for a few seconds. Beth’s words about not letting her run swam in my head. I knew she ran away from things but we did need to talk. “Anyone else for a drink I feel like I haven’t drunk anything in a week?” she half joked from the kitchen. I realised that was true. I also realised that she didn’t know how much we had all possibly discussed this, but still none of us knew what to do. She kept taking deep breaths as if forcing herself to carry on. Drew looked at her worried and broke the silence by saying no to a drink. Derek went up to her she was still stood in the kitchen I didn’t hear what he whispered to her. But like I had seen from most of her memory’s it calmed her down. She walked up to me
and handed me the book she had gone into her room to get. I looked at it confused. I read the first line. I dawned on me then this was how she felt. She couldn’t say it out loud she had written it down. I read it taking it all in. trying to not let her words hurt me as much as they did. She wasn’t mad at me or Beth at all. What she was worried about is that I wouldn’t like her, except her. Want her. I couldn’t help but read some more of them. I had often seen her write in this book. Had wanted to get hold of it so many times. But never had the guts to actually ask her what it was about. It was all wrote in Ancient Greek. I realised so that if anyone got hold of it they still wouldn’t know what it said. She started digging into a meal like she was starving. Well I suppose she possibly was. I went to say Alysa it felt wrong. I was going to call her moon out loud but didn’t know how she would react so I went for the safer option. “Darling.” I said. She had a mouthful of food so couldn’t respond at first. What I had read was more than I ever realised I would. It hurt to read how she actually felt. But there was one Derek really needed to read. It was the sweetest thing I have to say I had ever read. I didn’t know if he could read ancient Greek but I would actually translate it for him if she
wouldn’t. He needed to know that. I read another one and said to her what I needed to right then “You are not to blame at all.” she needed to hear those words. I didn’t realise how much she needed to hear them. She blamed herself for everything. Every single death especially Beth’s. We all sat in silence. Marianna thankfully decided to break it “Come on Marco you had 8 days and that’s all you got.” I handed her book to Derek so he could read the one she had wrote about him, for him. She looked like she wanted to snatch the book away then. Yep Derek could read ancient Greek I realised. He needed to read it though. He kissed her on the head and told her they had a lot to talk about. That was defiantly for sure. We all had a lot to talk about someone was finally going to have to break the ice. I was about to again when she went defensive like she normally does. Started by saying about actually having to decide a name, ended with 8 different explanations on the word darling. “Do you not know what moon is short for?” Drew asked the same thing I wanted to ask her. What is moon short for? Why the hell moon Beth? She laughed in my head. She shook her head to say no but then decided to give better than just a no. “She said I would know when it was time. She likes to leave
me really confused.” She explained. I wondered how often she went to talk to Beth. No wonder she was draining herself as much as she was. She was using way too much. “I’m sorry.” she told me again. “What are you sorry for?” I asked her. I couldn’t take her blaming herself for all of this, if anyone was to blame. It was me and Beth. Well actually no it was kind of Queen Jennifer. God I wanted to scream at her. Not at moon Alysa Sam. I hugged her I didn’t have a clue what else to do. I hugged her like I had wanted to since I found out. She burst out crying finally letting herself react. I just stood and held her for a long time. “You are not to blame for any of this. Okay?” I asked her when she finally started calming down. She didn’t seem to understand that. God she really was my kid I realised. “Took you long enough.” Beth said in my head. Yeah I kind of wanted her to go quiet again. “Tell her how you really feel Marco she needs to hear it.” Beth told me. “Darling you are not to blame at all. You are the best thing to happen out of a lot of bad things.” I told her. “You are the victim in this not the cause.” I told her, “I’m not a victim.” She said going defensive. Wrong word bloody hell what could I say. I realised everyone had gone to give us space. I sat her down then and I
asked her “So what name do you actually want me to call you?” I asked her. “I don’t know. You decide” She told me with a weak smile. Yeah that was the only thing I couldn’t decide great. “Would you mind if I call you moon instead of Alysa?” I asked her interested. She nodded at me. “Mum told me once that just because I knew and you did. We didn’t have to tell every Amaris. She’s right. No matter if I was Alysa or moon I am still the bloody princess.” She told me. “Darling you do realise you’re a princess on both sides the family. So no matter what you would have been a princess?” I felt the need to point out. “I really am the most unlikely princess.” She told me with a weak grin. “Can you remember much of the day I gave you away?” I asked her. “I remember all of It.” she said with a smile. “And thanks to the images you now know more of it than I want you to.” she admitted embarrassed. “Yeah well you watched your own conception so we will just call it quits on that okay?” I asked her. She actually laughed. “Okay that’s a deal. Can I just say eww.” She told me with a smile. She seemed to be losing her nerves thank god. “I told you one day I would make you draw your interesting version of a family tree.” I told her with a smile.
“Yeah?” she asked me confused. “Well now you don’t need to make it up darling.” I told her truthfully. “Yeah we just need to add Sean to it.” She told me with a grin realising where I was going. I had to laugh that was true. “Can we now talk about the summer?” I asked her getting ready to tell her of. She nervously laughed. “Yeah you would have told me of for that even when you didn’t know I was your daughter. It was best not to tell you.” She admitted laughing. “How you didn’t get killed I don’t know. But you really do amaze me.” I told her. “I amaze you?” she asked me confused. “You trained to fight so you can protect yourself. And you will fight if you need to. But you will never hurt anyone unless you have no choice.” I told her proudly. “Except when I lost control.” She pointed out. I remembered the kidnapping then and sighed. “You have come a long way since then.” I told her proudly. “What was it you said before we started? When you were talking to Agape?” I asked her. “You knew who I was talking to?” she asked me interested. “Yes darling I will always know his voice. Same as I will always know Beth’s.” I told her. Same as I always would Nicolette’s god I wished I could give her a huge sorry. Apologise for everything. “She knows Marco. She was worried moon
wouldn’t forgive her but they talk a lot. She has watched her with me. She is as proud of her as I am.” Beth said calmly in my head. Care to share what moon is short for? I asked her she laughed at me again. “I told him I have to destroy to heal.” She told me confused. “Why did you tell him that?” I asked her. “Because that’s what he wanted to hear.” She told me confused. I wanted to know if there was more to that. By the look on her face she was as confused as what she said now she thought about it. “So do you want me to call you dad or Marco?” she asked me worried. “Well you’ve been calling me dad for a year. Might as well carry on.” I told her smiling. She smiled back. “Okay Dad.” She said with a smile. “I know your new to the dad thing but remember I’m officially an adult.” She told me quickly. I had to laugh that was true. “Can I show you why trees calm me down?” she asked me worried. I nodded I found myself sat in a tree with her with Dyna watching us. Talking everything over with the element helping us.