After fixing Kendra her cheese and crackers, Tobias poured her a glass of milk and a glass of orange juice. Putting it all on a tray, he took it back to the bedroom to find she was still in the shower.
Putting the tray down on top of the bed, he walked to the bathroom door. He then tapped on the door frame before saying, “Kendra, I left you a tray on the bed, and I also laid your laptop on the end of it. I shouldn’t be gone long, but if you need anything, call me, alright?”
“Alright. I love you,” she said as she poked her head out the curtain to look at him.
“I love you too. I’ll be back before you know it,” he told her.
Then, after giving her a quick kiss, he left. He needed to leave before he could start thinking about her in the shower too much!
Arriving at his parent’s home he tapped on the door before entering.
“Hello, anybody home?” Tobias called out.
“Ah, mein Sohn (my son), I’m in here,” he heard his mutter call out.
Following the sound of her voice, he found her in the kitchen.
“Guten morgen Mutter (Good morning Mother),” Tobias said.
Turning from the stove, she gave him a big smile.
“What brings you by so early today? I wasn’t expecting you until this evening when you were to come to meet Brianna. She was very disappointed, by the way, when dinner was canceled. She was looking forward to meeting you,” Mutter said, a disappointment of her own in her voice.
“I apologize for that Mutter, but you are going to have to cancel on her again, at least for me,” he said. “I suppose she could meet Bruno, or perhaps Felix.”
Mutter wrinkled her nose. “Nein, mein Sohn. She would not work for either of those two. Nein, I picked her especially for you. So, tell me why you do not wish to meet her?”
She leaned against the counter then and crossed her arms.
“Well, you see Mutter, I found meine Geliebte. She…”
Mutter squealed like a little girl and moved to give him a hug.
Tobias chuckled at her excitement.
Switching to German, his Mutter began to speak fast, saying, “Well, why didn’t you say so? I am so happy for you Tobias! What is her name, where is she from, what is she like?”
He shook his head at her rapid fired questions at him. He quickly interrupted as she paused to take a breath before she could ask more.
“Calm down, one question at a time please,” he answered, also her in German. Then continued by saying, “You have already met her, she is Kimberly’s sister Kendra.”
Mutter backed up then. She wore a solemn look on her face as she gripped his arms tightly. Then, in a worried whisper, she asked, “The hunter? Oh, Tobias…are you sure she is the one?”
“Ja, I am sure. I met her almost a week ago now, but I didn’t know who she was, and she kissed me,” he told her as he shook his head at the memory. “I never thought a hunter would be brave enough to get that close to a vampire without a weapon, but she did and….” He felt his eyes close at the memory of that first kiss and could almost smell his Geliebte’s sweet gardenia scent. “She smelled so lovely, like gardenias Mutter. Never have I smelled anything as heavenly as that scent was that night.”
He opened his eyes to see his mutter staring at him with a stunned look.
“I never thought I would see the day my little Tobias would have that look on his face. I have wanted to see it on all my children’s faces for so long,” she whispered once more, still in German.
“What look are you speaking of Mutter?”
“The look of pure love and adoration for another. Now, continue your story,” she pressed.
“I was shocked but never expected to see her again. So, I tried to put her, and her kiss, out of my mind, yet I couldn’t seem to do it. Then Kimberly invited me to dinner and said her sister would be there. Her sister ended up being my mystery hunter. We got into a bit of a fight and I stormed off. I am sad to say that it never even crossed my mind that she could be meine Geliebte. So, when she called me sick I…well, I acted like a heartless beast causing her to hang up on me.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “What did you do?”
“I refused to go help her, I told her to call her sister to help because it wasn’t my responsibility,” he admitted. “After hanging up though, I began to feel bad for what I had done. So, I called Leo. He, of course, forced me to go with him to see about her. When we got there, she was in the grips of the bonding, but I still refused to admit she was meine Geliebte because she is a hunter and…” his voice faded as the guilt of what he had done to her last night once more consumed his conscience.
“And…what, Sohn?” Mutter asked a bit harshly.
“Human,” he admitted with a heavy sigh. “Well, Leo, being Leo, forced the issue and made me hold her. This, of course, proved she was meine Galeite when my touch didn’t harm her. Having proved his point, he then left us.”
“Now things are good between the two of you though, ja?”
He shrugged, still not wanting to admit his problem with biting. He didn’t want to see the disappointment on his Mutter’s face.
Mutter gave an annoyed sigh before demanding in German, “Out with-it Tobias! I can read you like a book. There is something you are not telling me.”
Shifting nervously from one foot to the other, he stared at the floor, unwilling to look her in the eyes. He knew he needed to talk about it. Him, as well as his Bruders, had always gone to their Mutter for everything when it came to advice. Most of the time, if they did go to their Vater he sent them right back to their mutter.
This though, this was something he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell his mutter because it had to do with intimacy.
“Maybe…maybe I should go talk to Vater.”
Mutter raised an eyebrow at him.
Tobias watched as her cheeks turned pink as if she suddenly realized what he was needing to talk about.
Mutter cleared her throat then and said, “If this has something to do with your love life, then, by all means, go talk to your Vater. You’ll find him in the garage.” She turned back to the stove and he heard her mumble in German, “Times like this I’m glad they aren’t girls.”
So, he slowly made his way to the garage because this was one conversation he really was dreading. Once he was there, he stood just outside the door for a long time. He was trying to build up his courage to go inside and face his Vater.
He might be over one hundred, but it still hurts to think about his Vater looking at him with disappointment in his eyes.
Finally, having stalled long enough, he opened the door and called out, “Vater?”
Vater rolled out from under the car and stood with a smile. “Tobias, it’s good to see you, mein Sohn.” His smile suddenly dropped though, and he looked worried as he asked, “I know that look. What have you done?”
“You are a grown man Tobias, it’s not like I’m going to give you a whipping for it,” Vater told him.
Tobias chuckled. “Ja, well, you never did that anyway. I believe that was Mutter’s job.”
“Eh, it was. Still is, if I decide you need it!” Vater said with a wink. “Although, are you sure it isn’t your mutter you should be speaking with? She’s much better in the advice department then I am.”
“Ah, well, I… um…” Tobias stuttered. He didn’t know how to even begin, and his feelings of embarrassment and guilt didn’t help.
“I’m thinking this must be something serious the way you’re acting, so just get it out there,” Vater encouraged.
Tobias swallowed hard and wiped his sweating palms on his thighs. Then he told his Vater of what he had done when he was twenty-five. He then continued by telling him how he had ended up killing a woman four years later.
Vater became still and pale as Tobias talked. Halfway through the tale, he sat down in a chair close to the wall. By the time Tobias was finished, Vater had dropped his head down into his hands.
“Tobias, my son, I am so sorry. Your mother told me I should speak to you, but I thought… I thought you would come to me if….” Vater said in German, his voice sounding tired and sad.
Vater looked up then, with the saddest look Tobias had ever seen on his face.
Feeling as if his legs wouldn’t hold him up any longer, Tobias went and sat down also.
“It’s my fault son, my fault,” Vater continued softly.
It isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I’m the one who lost control,” Tobias replied in German just as softly.
Vater began to shake his head, but he continued speaking, now in English, “Nein, it’s mine because your Mutter warned me that all the signs were there. I ignored her though, her and the signs.”
“What signs?” Tobias asked him.
“The signs that you are just like me. You see, I too tend to bite, a lot. If your Mutter hadn’t been a vampire, I would have killed her the night we bonded.”
Tobias sat back, stunned. “Why did you never tell me, or any of us boys this?”
“Because I was ashamed of it, still am I suppose, or I would have told all of you a long time ago. Truth is, it’s that shame that kept me from talking to you like your mutter asked me to. Now I find because of it mein Sohn…” Vater looked at Tobias, tears in his eyes. “Can you ever forgive me, Sohn, for not telling you? It would have kept what happened from happening, keeping you from feeling the guilt and shame of killing.”
Tobias took a deep breath letting it out slowly. Would it have kept him from killing? Would he have listened to his Vater? Even at twenty-five, he was young and reckless, thinking he knew more than both is parents.
Would I have listened? Or would I, in my young mind, decide I knew myself better than my Vater did? That it wouldn’t happen to me. Would I have gone and done what I did anyway?
He shook his head, nein, his Vater telling him would have made no difference. He would still have bitten those girls thinking he could stop.
So, he turned to his Vater. “Nein Vater, it would have made no difference had I known because I was young and foolish. I thought I knew it all,” he said. “Explain it to me now though, bitte Vater. Help me understand what is wrong with me and how I can fix it. I want to make love to meine Geliebte without fear. Last night… last night I could have killed her so easily,” he admitted as he almost choked on the tears he felt building in his throat at how close he had been to drinking her dry. “Three times I loved her and three times I bit her. If she hadn’t stopped me the last time… I couldn’t stop Vater! Mutter said our beast would know when to stop, but I couldn’t! Why? Why can’t I stop?” He yelled as he jumped up out of the chair and threw it across the garage.
The chair busted to pieces as it hit the wall and Tobias stood there. His shoulders heaved in anger and guilt as he fought the beastly side of him who wanted to do more damage.
“The night I bonded with your Mutter was the first time I had ever been with a woman. So, we made love multiple times and I bit her every time. Even though she was a vampire, what I took was too much, and it made her weak for days. If she had been human, she would have been dead,” Vater began. “Things were different back then though. Vampires would bite and think nothing of it if we killed our prey, because who cared? We were vampires, predators, it was the way of our nature and we did it without thought of the consequences. This was the universal attitude among us, at least according to my Vater it was. So, I thought nothing of biting her like that, and thought it was…normal I suppose.”
“It isn’t though, is it?”
“Nein, I suppose it isn’t, because I found out later that most vampires don’t bite the way I do,” Vater agreed. He then said, “My own Vater taught me that the human life was worthless and for a long time I believed it. If he hadn’t brought me up believing this, I might have learned some way to curb my need to bite, and not almost killed your mutter,” Vater said. He then added, “I found out later that my own Mutter was human. After she had me, Vater went too far one night and killed her.”
Tobias asked him then, “So, what did you learn to do about it?”
“As I said, I like to bite, and that hasn’t changed, not one bit! Sometimes I like to just… ah… well…take from your Mutter for no real reason. I’m not hungry and I’m not even feeling sexually motivated. I just feel the urge to bite her, though she doesn’t seem to mind it. She just learned to bite back,” Vater said. “It makes me feel good, happy inside. It’s kind of like when you were a child your Mutter came across these things people called a ‘sugar tit’.”
Vater laughed. “A sugar tit, that’s what they call them. Anyway, you take a rag and put sugar in it, give it to the babe and they suck on it. You loved it, though you were older when you’re Mutter gave it to you.”
“Why would Mutter give me such a thing anyway?” Tobias asked.
“Well, it seems that you had started to bite her, so she decided it was time to wean you. I think you were almost a year and a half old at that time. I know you were saying a few words since a vampire matures quicker than a human,” Vater began as he shook his head. “You did not like it one bit and would go up to her, pull on her shirt and demand, “I suck now Mutter,”. She didn’t like that and would tell you nein, over and over. The day you did that to her in public, she came home mad as a wet hen, telling me something had to be done. I told her to just let you have what you wanted, and do you know what she told me?”
Tobias knew his Mutter’s temper well and wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Still, he shook his head "nein" and waited.
“She said she’d let you suck on me, and see how I liked being bitten.”
They both grabbed hold of themselves.
With a cringe, Tobias muttered, “Ouch.”
“Anyway, that was when she found the sugar tit and it satisfied you until she had you weaned. That was also when she told me how she feared you would be just like me,” Vater said. “I should have listened.”
“So, is my need to bite, why I struggled so hard when we were no longer allowed to feed from the vein?”
Vater nodded. “Ja, it is. As I said, in my day nobody would have thought anything of it, I know I didn’t. I was just a vampire who killed more often, one of the reasons the hunters came into existence. Then I met your Mutter, and as I said, if she hadn’t been a vampire I would have lost her. It woke me up to the fact that I was different and so are you.”
“What do I do then? How do I control it? Please, Vater, I need to know!” Tobias questioned, almost begging.
“You either give her a bit of your blood each time or you change her. Although, even if you change her you will still need to give her blood if you get greedy,” Vater told him. “You will find her biting you will be most enjoyable, especially when a bed is involved.”
Tobias groaned! He really didn’t need to know that part! His lust for her was already about to do him in! Just thinking of her biting… shaking the image from his head before it aroused him, he asked, “Won’t giving her my blood change her anyway?”
“Nein, you would have to nearly drain her, bring her to the point of death before giving her blood to change her,” Vater informed him. “You could also try biting a pillow.”
“A pillow?” Tobias wrinkled his nose at that.
Vater laughed. “Ja, a pillow.”
That didn’t sound fun at all!