The next day when Camden called everybody, like he usually does, to wake up. I had stayed awake for the whole night, not being able to fall asleep after waking up, and reading that note.
I still had that craving to which really sucked, especially since I had searched every square corner of my room. More than once. So I decided to ask Kalama, since she seems to smuggle things in when they aren’t allowed.
When I saw her, which turned out to be at lunch, I asked her, “Do you, by any chance, have a pack of cigarettes and a lighter?”
She gave me weird look, but nodded, “Yeah, I tried them once, but didn’t like them. I coughed so hard I almost threw up. But if you want them you can have them. I can get them to you after school.”
I nodded. Thank god. I didn’t think I could stand another day without them, especially if I was going to be waking up every night, when my memories can attack me. Kalama handed the items to me after my last class, before Power Control with Storm.
I stuffed them in my backpack, which had been brought from my world, and headed down to the field. Like usual, Power Control went slowly, but I was progressing in my ability. Very slowly.
After Power Control I hurried up to my room, where I took out the cigarettes, and lighter. I needed somewhere where I wouldn’t be caught.
I looked at my window, and got an idea. The windows opened out onto the roof of the rest of the school, and if I planned this out correctly, I could stay hidden from everyone when I was smoking.
I opened my window so that there was an opening just big enough for my to fit through. Luckily the roof of the school was very flat. It also had a great view from the roof. I turned around, and noticed that I could climb up on top of our, Storm’s, Iris’s, Camden’s, and mine, rooms. I did just that, and realized that nobody could see me from here. This was the safe place away from everyone.
I took out the box of cigarettes, giddy yet guilty for doing this again. I took out one, safely stashed away the rest, and got my lighter out, ready for the deep inhale that I was about to take. Once it was lit I put it between my lips, and inhaled. The refreshing feeling of smoke going through my lungs made me calm, the stress leaving my body.
I did it again, and again, until the cigarette was done for, then I threw it on the ground, and stomped. Hopefully no one came up here.
As I smoked I let myself think. I let myself think about the fire. The scars. Sophia. Chloe. The girl I used to be. The girl that’s buried somewhere in me.
I cut off my train of thought before I thought too much. Before I overthink, like I usually do. After I was done, I climbed down from the roof, and back into my room. I needed to workout. Find a punching bag, my gloves. Let everything go.
I started looking for my gloves, which I was pretty sure I had put in my closet. When I found the purple and black gloves I grabbed a sports bra, and shorts to change in when I made it to the gym.
I made my way to the gym I had found when the Council came to the Academy. When I got there no one was there at all, which was odd since I’m pretty sure a gym teacher would be here to look over everything.
I entered, not thinking much about it, and went to the changing room to change. Then I strapped on my gloves, while making my way to the punching bag. There still wasn’t anyone there, so I just went and did my thing.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
I punched, and kicked. And punched and kicked, until I got bored of that, and went to work on the machines. I worked every single muscle in my body. My triceps, my biceps, my lateral, my abdominals, everything. I kept going, even when I saw Storm come in. When I was working out nothing could distract me from working out. No one.
After I was done I was exhausted, luckily, and made my way back to the changing room, where I changed back into my original clothes, which were a pair of leggings, and a t-shirt. When I went to leave I paused to see how much Storm was lifting. It was a pretty impressive weight, about the same as my minimum weight. I could lift a lot because I’ve worked so much on my strength. It helped when you could really pack a punch.
When Storm finished I pryed my eyes away from him, and walked right past him, like I hadn’t even noticed him.
“Blaze,” Storm said, “Think you can spit for me?”
I turned and nodded, “Yeah. What are you going to be lifting?”
“You’ll see,” was his evasive answer. He got off the bench, and grabbed a few more weights to put on the bar. He was going hardcore here.
I made my way over to the bench, in the right position to spot, and waited for him to start. When he did start his muscles bulged. I ogled him a bit, but, to be fair, he was also shirtless.
He was visibly struggling with this weight. No wonder he wanted a spotter. I took a quick glance at the weight, and noticed that it was the maximum weight that I could lift easily.
Next thing I know his arms give out. I quickly shoot my arm down, grabbing the bar just in time. I slowly lifted it up, and set it back down. I shook my head and laughed. A full on laugh.
I don’t even know what I found funny. I just started laughing like a maniac. Storm even gave me a weird look.
“What’s so funny?”
“I…… don’t…... even…… know....” I said in between my laughing.
Eventually I composed myself. I felt myself flush when I realized just how weird I must have looked. I schooled my face back into boredom, and left. Once Storm was out of sight, I sighed.
I felt a wave of embarrassment wash through me. I can’t believe I just did that.
I cast that thought out of my mind, and started to head to the dining hall. After that workout I really needed something to eat and drink.