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Dark Desires

By Cyndi Douglas All Rights Reserved ©


4. Fragments of the Past

We had almost spent every day together. It was the most beautiful week in my whole life. I had always thought that I would always be alone but there I was, walking in the beautiful sunset, hand in hand with someone I loved, and he loved me back.

“It was such a beautiful day today” I said with a sigh.

“I only thought it was beautiful because I got to spend it with you” he said squeezing my hand with a smile.

I blushed. I went out to lunch with him, much to Racheal’s objection who wanted me to help her create a new canteen menu, one that apparently matched American customs.

“Racheal will probably lecture me about it tomorrow” I said rolling my eyes with a laugh.

“I don’t understand why you tolerate her, she is so arrogant.” He asked.

I sighed. Things had become so much easier over the past few weeks. Between Alice and Jayden, so much light had been brought back in my life. I remember when the cast list came out for the musical my heart sank. The same girl had been chosen for the lead as the past three years. I was so disappointed that I lied myself and pretended as if I never even auditioned. I acted happy for Anna, but somewhere deep inside I knew she didn’t deserve it. I never would have imagined that the role would fall to me after all I had been through.

“She’s helped me through some pretty tough time” I said placing my head on his solider, “she may be a pain, but she’s a loyal friend”.

He laughed at me and I smiled. That moment was perfect… but it wasn’t to last. A sudden noise made my head pop up. Shivers went up my spine as if someone or something was watching me. The air became cold as I looked up at the darkening sky. Something was coming, and was going to destroy the peaceful world that I longed for.

“You have to tell me every detail!” Racheal exclaimed. We were in Mrs Marson’s class, ironically Racheal’s mum, who was one of the strictest teachers in the whole school…well to everyone but Racheal.

“Please be quiet” I asked in a whisper, “you’ll get me into trouble”

“Come on, I’m your best friend you have to tell me everything!” Racheal whined.

“Racheal, were in the middle of cla…” I began before Mrs Marson kicked my desk.

“Emilya! Detention!” she shouted, “I will not have talking in my class”

“But…I-I” I interjected.

“Are you talking back to me?” she asked turning away from me.

“N-no… it’s just”

“I will not be made a mockery of in my own class!”

“I-I-I, Racheal was talking to me, I didn’t want to disturb…” I stuttered.

“And now you blame my daughter!” Mrs Marson screamed breaking her ruler on my desk, “I want you OUT of my class!”

“I-I’m s-s-sorry”

“After school you will be forced to attend to attend to my private garden! Now OUT”

The whole room gasped. Anyone who went into the Marson garden always came out with some kind of injury.


I got out of my seat and ran out of the room crying.

Alice and Racheal also had detention, given to them by Mr Barnes, our Psychology teacher. However they did not have to clear out a hazardous green house. I wished I could have had a normal, writing lines kind of detention.

I held a lily in my hand. Mrs Marson had left a sticky note on the door saying…

You are to attend to my lily garden. Remove any weeds and cut off the ones with multiple thorns. I expect it to be immaculate!

I had always hated lilies they caused a great sadness whenever I saw them. I scrunched the petals of the delicate flower as tears began to wash over. Why was it that my heart ached when the beautiful lily blossoms, why was it that I couldn’t even bare to hear their name. I ripped the petals angrily as gentle footsteps came up behind me.

“You haven’t changed at all, my dear Hazel” a voice called.

I turned to see a young girl with flowing black hair. Her lips curled into a displeasing smile with blue eyes full of hate. I looked into her eyes and my heart jutted in pain. Something in me wanted to get up and rip her to threads like the petals that fell onto my lap. I dropped my glance; I just couldn’t bear to look in her eyes

“Do I still sicken you?” she asked inclining her head, “shall we settle this once and for all?”

I sighed and got to my feet, brushing the dirt off my skirt. “Who are you?” I asked as my hair drifted in the wind.

She laughed evilly. “Come now, how could you forget your own twin sister?” she said glaring me down with a frown, “You really are despicable!”

Black feathered wings sprouted from her back and filled the glistening sky. Vines of sharp thorns grasped me around my limbs. I screamed as the thorns dug into my skin. I tried to resist but the vines pulled me into the air.

The girl continued to laugh, “Dear me, you’ve become weak. It’s almost boring for me to do anything to you.”

I could not move. My breath became tight in my chest.

“However, I will still enjoy watching you die painfully”

“Lilly, let go of Hazel now!” a voice called.

I slightly turned my head to see Alice and Racheal running toward me.

The girl laughed as the vines tightened around my neck.

“Well if it isn’t Alice, the servant of the Myrian”

“Whoa, another freaky person,” Racheal exclaimed, looking at the vines coming out of the ground, “Hazel, do you know this person from somewhere?”

“Even your friends are pathetic” the girl frowned looking towards me out of the corner of her eyes, “I am Lilly Emilya, Hazel’s twin sister”

It was silent for a while; no one made a single move.

“She must be dead too!” Racheal exclaimed.

“Wow!” she said sarcastically.

“Enough!” Alice called, “I will not let you hurt Hazel”

After she spoke, four small crystals shot towards me in the form of daggers. They cut through the vines, releasing my limbs from Lilly’s grasp.

How did she do that? I thought as I struggled to get on my feet. My body ached in pain as I watched Alice pick up a shovel and Lilly draw out a long pointed sword.

“Hazel! Run!” Alice shouted.

I reluctantly obeyed, as the pain began to fade, I ran as fast as I could away from the scene. How could I possibly have a sister? I thought. It occurred to me that my mother never mentioned this girl, properly because of how she felt when I returned from the dead. Many questions about Lilly circled my mind but were diminished by the dark voice in my head,

What are you doing you idiot! I’d never run from a fight!

“But I do!” I said out loud without thinking.

And that’s why you will never amount up to anything.

I stood in place. The voice in my head was right it was gutless of me to leave Alice and Racheal in danger. Moments late I heard Alice scream. Without looking I grabbed the nearest object near me and ran back as fast as I could. I made it back just in time to watch Lilly prepare for the final blow.

“Did you really think…?” Lilly laughed maliciously, “That you, a mere servant could defeat me?”

As Lilly began her attack, I ran up to her and wacked her over the head with the object. Lilly’s weapon fell to the ground with a clang. As she turned around to face me she fell over Alice’s feet, who had rolled out of the way to eventually stand up.

“That the Hazel I know” Lilly laughed, unable to get up, “always attacking me from behind”.

“Yeah…? Well I’ll do it again if you move!”

“I know when I’ve been defeated, alright I give up”

“Huh…” Alice said now standing next to me. She was thinking the same thing I was. Victory seemed a little too easy. We stood over Lilly with a stern look.”

“Hazel, you’re a freak!” Racheal called. I had completely forgotten that she was there and somehow managed to be left completely unscratched.

“What?” I asked.

“A normal person, especially a girl, couldn’t hold a on object like that!”

I looked down at my hands I didn’t take the time to notice what I had grabbed. A held a rather large metal pole that probably once was used to hold up the glass house when it was being built.

“Well now that that’s over why don’t you two head home together” Alice said.

“WHAT?!” Lilly and I shouted.

“There is no way I’m taking home a psycho maniac who tried to kill me!”

“Go home with her…Nuh-uh… there is no way!”

“Wow that escalated quickly” Racheal laughed.

“Don’t you want to see your mother Lilly?” Alice asked, “And Hazel, wouldn’t you like to have someone to talk to at home?”

We both looked at each other and growled.


“Can I just say how much I despise you” Lilly growled as we walked home together.

“Yeah, well you’ve said that eight times already” I said rolling my eyes, “besides I’m against this to, I don’t appreciate people who try to kill me!”

“You should be used to it!”

“How could I be used to something when I only knew you existed today!”

“Oh, ouch”

Orchestra I groaned. Why did I have to have a sister who was such a bitch? I couldn’t help the feeling that I just wanted to kick her in the head.

“If you don’t appreciate me at least mother will!” she said sticking her nose up in the air.

“Ha good luck with that!” I scoffed, “she hasn’t spoken directly to me in six years! Expect the same treatment!”

“I don’t think I will,” she smirked finally lowering her voice, “you may not remember, but mother always preferred me over you”

“But aren’t we twins?” I asked.

“Yes, but I look more like mother, you look like Dad”

I sighed, “I really don’t care Lilly, besides the past doesn’t make a difference”

“You wouldn’t say that if you were the one who had been forgotten”

“Can you blame me? Our parents hardly talk to me, so they’ve never mentioned you”

Lilly rolled her eyes and looked in the opposite direction. “Well, maybe it’s for the best, now you won’t remember the horrible things I’ve done to you”

“Like What!” I shouted.

“I won’t tell you!”

I sighed as I looked up at the cloudy sky.

“It really doesn’t matter; I have too much going on in my life to care about the past”

“Humph, you wouldn’t say that if you knew the past” Lilly muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean” I asked.

Lilly just simply raised her eyebrows giving me a sideways glance.

“Right… you won’t tell me”

Lilly sighed, “You seem different. The Hazel I knew wouldn’t have given up so easily, she would have pinned me down and threatened to gouge my eyes out unless I told her”

I gasped in shock, “that is absolutely barbaric! That doesn’t sound like me at all!”

It couldn’t be… I thought. Not knowing the past frightened me, I had no idea who I actually was and it scared me. I look around at the people around me, who claim they know me, but how could I trust them when I couldn’t even trust myself. I walked silently looking down for a while. I saw Lilly looking at me with a worrying glance out of the corner of my eye. For a moment I thought that she seemed to care but when she saw me looking at her, she shook her head and a crooked grin appeared across her face.

“Ha, it’s fun to watch you struggle like that, but deep down you know that you are nothing without the past.” She said as we walked through the front gate, “wow it really hasn’t changed”

“Perhaps not exterior” I muttered as I opened the front door.

“And what hour do you call this!” my mother shouted, “Just where have you been!”

“I apologize, madam,” I said with a bow, “I was attacked by an annoying and vicious large crow”

“I do not appreciate such…” she said but trailed off once Lilly walked through the door.

“A crow…? Well that’s new” she said putting down her bag, she looked up at our mother and smiled, “Hello mother!”

“Lilly!” my mother screamed running towards her and

I felt my heart break into a million pieces, I never received that reaction when she saw me. Lilly was right, and I couldn’t help but feel neglected.

“What do you think you are staring at?!” Mother growled, “You are to go to bed immediately, I don’t want to have to look upon you”

I calmly stood up and bowed, trying my best to hold beck my tears. I walk quickly to my room, shut the door and sighed. I stood with my back against the door until I could hold it in any longer.

Crying, I threw myself upon the bed. I couldn’t bring myself to move from there. Eventually I managed to cry myself to sleep.

Lilly stood proudly on the balcony looking out at the small town she grew up in. For once in her life she felt on top of the world. She finally had an advantage over her high achieving sister. With her memories gone, Lilly realised that she no longer had to scream out to be seen behind Hazel’s shadow.

“Lilly” a voice called. She turned to she Alice standing behind her.

“How did you get up here?” Lilly asked, “it’s not like you can fly or anything”

“I have my ways”

They stood there silently, gazing each other down to intimidate one another.

“What are you doing here Lilly?”

“Oh” she said with a smile. She knew what Alice meant. She only wanted to protect her friend, or even had her own interior motives.

“You don’t need to worry Alice” Lilly laughed as she flew into the dark sky, “I have no intention of following the will of the king”

“I didn’t think you would be the kind of person who would have a sister!” Racheal said with her usual arrogant tone.

“Anyone could have a sister Racheal” I sighed. We were walking down the halls as she spoke of Lilly. It had been weeks since I met my twin sister. I had distanced myself from everyone, even from Jayden. The only person who I couldn’t get away from was the only person in the entire universe that would claim that anyone who didn’t participate in valentines in the next week is Uncultured.

“I mean, why she would show up so close to valentines does she not have a heart”

“Racheal can we change the subject.” I said. It wasn’t that I didn’t want anyone’s company, it was just I was in no mood keep up with casual conversation when my life was crumbling around me. To be hated by your parents while your twin was adored was something no one had to go through.

“Oh I see how it is!” she growled, “you get a boyfriend and a sister and suddenly you’re better than me!”

“No that’s not…” I began.

“I can’t believe you! You’re such a bitch dumping your best friend! If you had one oncer of respect you’d stop acting so shit and pay attention to me”

Sudden rage burst from within me, I could control my anger and I snapped.


I stood looking at her silently. I have never gotten so mad in all my life.

Something’s wrong with you the voice in my head growled, nice to see you finally have a backbone

“Yeah well” Racheal said, “Why should I listen to some moron who can hardly remember her own name.”

I felt as if someone punched me in the heart.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that.” I said as I ran away. Tears began to flow as I ran down the halls. I ran pasted Jayden, who looked at me with wary eyes. He hesitated but grabbed me.

“Hey what’s wrong” he asked. I couldn’t bear to face him.

“Sorry Jayden” I said releasing myself from his grip, “I can’t right now.” I continued running until I was no longer in sight not realising how off colour and off balance Jayden looked. I ran out of the gate as fast as I could. I was sick of being clueless about who I was. It was a curse I could escape. Not knowing anything was scary, as if I couldn’t control my future unless I discovered the unknown.

After running a great distance, I managed to climb a small building away from the prying eyes. I felt the breeze flow gently through my hair slowly calming me down.

“Hazel…Are you okay?” someone called from behind. I turned to see Alice standing behind me; I said nothing and turned away.

“Look, the past might be unclear to you know but you never know it might return to you.” Alice said, smiling like she always does walking to kneel next to me.

“I know…” I said after a while, “I just have a hard time accepting reality”


I shook my head and smiled, “come on… let’s go home.”

As Alice began to walk away my vision began to blur with tears. I whipped them away and sighed. The few hours I spent up there alone made me reconsider my situation. Even though I felt upset about how things turned out, I knew I had to move on. There were so many good things in my life that were happening, I realised that I would miss out on them if I got lost into the thought that my past is blind to me.

“Hazel” a voiced called. I turned behind me but no one was there. Suddenly a sharp pain shot through my head. I stepped back clutching my forehead.

“Hazel” Alice called, but it was too late. I slipped. Alice tried to catch me as I fell off the building but our hands missed by an inch.

“Hazel!” Alice screamed.

I sighed. A fall like this wouldn’t cause any harm to me but I still feared the impact.

Hazel! The voice echoed. I looked up to where I had fallen from. An image of a man appeared before me, a man with blue eyes and dark brown hair.

“Gene…” I whispered as I closed my eyes moments before I hit the ground.

I sat alone under the tall oak tree. I was ten years old; I was lost and confused as tears rolled down my cheeks. One minute I was with my father and then the next thing I knew, after a loud booming noise I was in some strange place. Many people walked past and whispered as their pitch black eyes stared me down. The wind blew gently and gave me a chill. No one came to see if I was okay; it was as if there was an invisible wall between us. I sat there alone for what seemed like days until a tall hooded man walked up to me.

“Are you okay sweet heart” he asked.

I shivered, I was so afraid I could hardly move.

He sighed and removed the hood covering his face. He had dazzling blue eyes like mine, with extremely dark brown bangs that nearly covered his eyes.

“You must be new here,” he said with a smile, “when did you arrive?”

“A-a few days” I stuttered through my sobs, “w-where am I? W-where’s my Dad?”

“My Dear this is the land of the dead, Airyelan,” he said, “your father would be in the land of the living. I’m the ruler of this land, my name is Gene Reaper, but you probably know me as the Grim Reaper”

“Oh no… I d-died?” I looked down at my hands. They were shaking as I looked up at the kind man.

He simply sighed with a gentle smile.

“Don’t worry” he said holding out his hand, “I will look after you”

I whipped my tears and grabbed his hand. He squeezed it tight. We walked together for a while. The kingdom was so beautiful with sparkling cities and amazing green meadows. Everyone looked at me strangely as we walked by.

“Do they hate me?” I asked, “did I do something wrong?”

“No, they just haven’t met anyone like you before.” He replied, “If it ever troubles you just remember this. You are the light of our world, no matter what they say.”

I gave a weak smile, “but will anyone ever love me like my parents did?”

“Yes,” he said as he gave me a comforting pat on the head, “because I will love you as if you were my own daughter”

“Thankyou your majesty” I said, regaining my strength.

“Just call me Gene” he said smiling.

“Thank you! Gene!” I replied smiling back up at him.

I slowly opened my eyes. Alice stood over me and smiled.


I sat up and rubbed my head.

“How long was I out?” I asked.

“Only a few hours” Alice replied.

I looked around the room to see Lilly impatiently sitting in the corner.

Perhaps she does cares? I thought. When she caught my gaze she snarled and rolled her eyes.

“You seemed so peaceful” Alice smiled sitting down on the bed, “what were you dreaming about?”

Dreaming? No, even then, I knew those moments before I opened my eyes were too real just too only be dreams.

I sighed, “I was reliving the time I met the Grim Reaper”

Alice’s eyes went wide as Lilly gasped.

“Did you’ve regained you memories?” Lilly asked with a slight crooked smile.

“No,” I answered shacking my head “only that”

“Don’t worry” Alice said with a nervous smile, “I’m sure they’ll return eventually”

“Perhaps I don’t need them to.” I said with a smile. I looked up from my hands, a new sort of confidence swept over me.

“I realised that if I spent so much time searching for the past I’ll miss all the good things that are happening right now. You, my family and Jayden… I’d miss everything that is really important to me”

Alice smiled, “That’s the Hazel we know and love”

I laughed, everything was perfect, and for that moment in time the past wouldn’t make my life happier, only the wonderful people who I knew would always be there for me.

“Well I better get going!” Alice smiled from ear to ear, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

As she left I smiled at Lilly, but she closed her eyes and ignored me.

“Perhaps even we could ignore the feelings of the past and become friends, Lilly” I asked with hope, “you still piss me off for some reason, but I’ll probably get over it eventually”

Lilly laughed softly as she walked away from me.

“I really wouldn’t get your hopes up about this ‘love’ business,” she said as she stepped into the frame of door, “you are destined to be alone for eternity”

She left the room leaving me alone and confused.

The king stood on his balcony, proud and strong. Everything was falling into place. He looked over his kingdom, no longer the peaceful place it used to be. The blues sky was filled with dark cloud and the soft green grass had become brown and withered as all of the citizens lived in devastation. Not that he cared, he enjoyed seeing their pain. No one could destroy his proud democracy, except for that princess who escaped. The king gritted his teeth, how could he have been so blind to let her slip through his fingers. Not only would he ruin his new kingdom but she was a great asset to help take over the other realms. Her power could bring down any creature that dared stand against him.

“Your majesty, I require you conference” a voice called from behind him.

He turned to see his cloaked servant in a bow.

“Ah, I see you have returned” he said looking down upon her, “I hope you bring good news”

“Indeed,” she said with a crooked smile, “I have found the princess at Maylene Secondary College”

The king walked over to his throne. His black eyes glared at his servant as his dark hair blew in the rough wind. “So where is she?” he said with a growl.

“I have acquired a dilemma,” she said rising to gaze at the king, “she is surrounded by multiple humans and this is the sort of thing we want to keep on a low profile”

He kind exhaled deeply, the task he had given this servant was not one she could do on her own.

“Should I leap into action?”

“No,” he said closing his eyes, “acquire more information than report back to me.”

As his servant turned away a quick memory flashed upon his mind as new devious plan that should get him what he desired.

“Actually, release high security prisoner number 801 and send him to Maylene Secondary College”

“But sir” the servant said dropping her guard.

“That is an order!” he said.

As she bowed and went to do his bidding he laughed maliciously.

“Let’s see how our little princess goes with an enemy that has been plotting their revenge for eight years!”

I walked alone down the school halls, thinking about the small fragment of the past that I had regained.

You are the light of our world, no matter what they say.

I thought about Gene, his kind smile and charming personality. Many questions circled my mind.

Why did he leave me in this world?

Why doesn’t he come and save me from the dangers that pose upon me?

But most of all, why did he leave me with no memories?

I sighed as I saw Jayden walking in front of me.

“Hey Jayden” I called as I ran up to me.

When he turned around I noticed he had huge dark lines under his eyes.

“Are you ok?”

“Fine” he said averting his gaze.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been a bit distant lately, I was so busy trying to find out about my past” I said grabbing onto his hand, “but now I know that I only need you to know who I am”

He looked at me, his eyes watering slightly.

“Um…do you want to go see a movie tonight? You can pick” I said nervously.

He pulled away from me, “no”

“Why? I thought…” I asked with a shake in my voice.

“I don’t think it’s wise for us to hang out that much” Jayden said refusing my proposal.

“Jayden …but…please”

“I never…felt that way anyway” he said looking down.

“So it was all in my head?” I said, tears flowing down my cheeks.

Jayden turned around and walked away. My world turned upside down. Lilly was right, maybe I was destined to be alone.

I walked away with the words of our song echoing in my head.

And I want to tell you so much
I love you.

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