I wasn't expecting it to be so hard telling Alpha Thomas about Cade.
I watched the hurt and confusion sweep across his blue eyes and I know that he could see the piece of me breaking inside.
What surprised me though was his reaction.
I'm not going to lie, I was hoping that he would pull me into his arms and tell me It's okay.
I wanted to hear that he can understand why I am a little hesitant and that everything will be alright.
The clock on my nightstand reads 3:30 a.m. The room is dark but I don't mind, it gives me time to think.
I wish I could sleep. My body is exhausted from today's events but my mind wants to replay my last moments with Alpha Thomas over and over.
His eyes flickered between black and blue as they stared into my soul. My breath quickened when I realized that if I made the smallest of movements, our chests would be touching. A blush crossed my cheeks but instead of the gap closing, he shifted and ran away from me without a word.
I sit up and lean against my headboard, pulling my knees to my chest.
I can't believe I just let him leave like that. Maybe there was a way that I could have explained everything better.
What is wrong with me?
I should have gone after him! Maybe he wanted me to and instead, I just watched him run off like it was nothing.
Maybe I'm a disaster.
All I have done is make a mess out of everything. At every fork in the road, I make the wrong turn. Someone needs to get me a freaking map!
I take a deep breath, running my hands through my hair but I freeze when I hear a noise coming from my window.
I stare at my window almost daring it to make the noise again. Maybe I imagined it?
I jump slightly when I hear it again.
Logically, there can't be anything dangerous out there. I mean the pack warriors are good at their jobs and we would have been alerted about a threat.
But should I check it out? What if something got by the warriors?
I stand slowly, making my way to the window as the noise sounds again. My dark blue curtain shields me from whatever is causing the noise, and I question if I want to know.
My hand slowly pulls the curtains apart. My heart beats faster as I look into the darkness of the night, but nothing is out of place.
I open the window, taking a deep breath of the cool night air. The second my lungs inhale, his scent hits me.
My wolf paces in my mind calling out for our mate who is somewhere nearby.
The need to see him, talk to him and even make him understand is overwhelming. All this alone time has given me too much time to think.
No matter how scared I am, I cannot let him, or this chance, pass by. I need to be happy, not only for me but for Cade as well.
I just hope Thomas will understand and let us go slow.
The scent is kind of fresh, if I hurry, I can still catch him. I debate changing from my shorts and spaghetti strap shirt, but I don't want to lose the trail. Instead, I slip on my shoes and quietly sneak out of my room.
For a house full of werewolves, sneaking out of the house was surprisingly easy.
The early morning air nips at my exposed skin as I close the front door quietly behind me. A low growl sounds from behind me before I can even turn around but judging by the shiver that moves up my spine - it's him.
A smile spreads across my face and I bite my bottom lip before turning around to look for him.
"What are you wearing?" his voice comes out as a growl and it catches me off guard.
Thomas had been leaning casually under the tree in the yard, but straighten when our eyes locked. I shivered again, but whether from the weather or his heated gaze looking me over, I don't know.
"Pajamas?" it was meant as a statement but for some reason, it came out as a question.
I mean they're cute pajamas and very comfortable to sleep in.
"No one should see you like that!" he closed the small gap between us and pulled me into his arms, placing his head in the crook of my neck.
I couldn't help but tense.
Even though he was my mate and my wolf was purring happily in my mind there was a type of familiarity in the hug that has a sadness weaving through me.
It reminds me of Cade.
I pulled out of his embrace and out of his arms completely. His eyes held an apology but he didn't say one.
Instead, he pulled his hoodie over head - exposing the bottom of his stomach and clearly defined V-line.
My breath hitched in my throat and it wasn't until I heard a small chuckle that I even realized I was staring.
"I can take my shirt off too if you want to get a picture?" Thomas' smirk made my eyes narrow as he handed me his hoodie.
A part of me wanted to deny his hoodie just to be stubborn. However, that larger part wanted to wear it because it was his.
Plus it was cold out here.
Now it was his turn to watch me as I wiggled my body to put the hoodie on. His mouth hung open slightly and I could see his tongue snake out just a bit to wet his bottom lip.
"Do you want a picture?" I wore my smirk proudly as I raised an innocent eyebrow in question.
He shot me a smug smile before reaching into his jeans and taking out his phone. I couldn't fight the laugh the passed my lips and it made his smile widen.
He may have won this round but the game isn't over yet.
"Why are you our here so early in the morning? Don't you sleep?" I asked, fiddling with the sleeves on the hoodie that was a little too long.
But it smelt amazing!
"Don't you?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I would have been if someone hadn't been trying to get my attention," I gave him a pointed look even though I knew I was lying.
I wasn't sleeping. Hell, I wasn't even really trying to sleep anymore, but he didn't need to know that.
"Sorry. I, um, I just had to talk to you," he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, looking down at his shoes, "about earlier today."
All I could do was nod in understanding. I want to talk to him too. I want to make him understand that I can't rush in head first and why.
"I know this -" I start but he cuts me off.
"Will you go somewhere with me?" His eyes stare into mine and for a moment I forget where I am.
It passes quickly and I remember that we are standing out front of the pack house and will probably have an audience soon.
If we don't already.
If we are going to talk and figure this out, we need to do it alone with no one pressuring us.
So I nod and my heart flutters at his smiles.
"I found a place while running," he states nodding his head in the direction behind us.
"Okay." Thomas reached out for me, but at the last second thought better of it and gestured for me to follow him.