“I have no idea what happened. She was fine until she talked to Ava, when I saw her again she snapped at me and ran off.” I heard Asher say in a hushed voice from the other side of the door.
I sat up and rubbed my pounding head as the memories from before I passed out came flooding back.
I walked into the room and smiled when I saw Ava sitting there eating chips. It was so like her to be eating something so unhealthy, but she could consume all the junk food in the world and still look like a super model.
“Hey girly.” She greeted when she noticed me.
“Hey.” I greeted back, taking a seat on the barstool beside her.
“So what’s been going on with you since we got here?” She asked as she took another handful of chips from the bag to stuff in her mouth.
“I was attacked by a werewolf but saved by Asher. I just can’t believe he’s really here. I have him again and everything’s just better. I finally feel like myself. ” I told her, staring at a random place on the wall as I relived the memory of seeing Asher for the first time after so long.
“Sweetie I’m happy for you and all, but are you sure you can trust him?” She said hesitantly, her expression unsure.
“What do you mean? Of course I can trust him.” I snapped, unable to keep my temper at bay. Why was she doubting Asher? She barely even knew him.
"I mean, he left you. If he did it once he could do it again. I just think you should be careful, I don’t want to see you get hurt again.” She explained, continuing to causally snack on chips as if we weren't having a serious conversation.
“I guess you’re right, but I don’t think he would do that to me again.” I mumbled, not fully believing what I said.
She shrugged and I could see the doubt written all over her face.
Would Asher really leave me again? Would he really hurt me like that after everything that's happened?
Ava was looking at me sympathetically, which only made me believe her more. Maybe she was right, he could leave me again. I had to be cautious and distance myself from him until I could fully trust him.
I never wanted to go through the pain I felt when he left before. It was worse than any beating I got from Jason. I’d take a million beatings over losing Asher again.
Why couldn’t he just stay with me and talk through our problems instead of running away from them?
The pain was all his fault, and it was slowly killing me. What if he left again and I didn't survive it?
I was taken out of my concerning thoughts when I heard Jay and Asher enter the kitchen.
I sniffled, not even realizing I was crying until tears dripped off of my chin, and I swivelled around to face the two guys.
Asher had a big smile on his face that immediately dropped when he saw me, and was replaced with a frown of concern.
“Baby what’s wrong?” He asked, hastily rushing to my side.
I got off of the bar stool and pushed him away.
“Don’t talk to me.”
I couldn’t deal with seeing him right now, I was just so confused and scared.
“What, why?” He asked in complete and utter shock.
“Don’t act all confused and innocent. This is all your fault!” I yelled before running out of the room. I needed to get out of here.
“Liza!” He called after me, but I didn’t react, I just kept running. Out the door, though the yard, into the woods.
I didn't know what to do.
Should I trust Asher and put my life and heart on the line, or distance myself and make him work for my trust even if it hurt both of us?
Option two sounded selfish but option one was reckless.
I was running though the forest when I saw a little pond in the distance. I decided to sit by it and try to figure things out.
I needed to make a choice, but both options I had would hurt someone. I needed a sign. Something, anything, to tell me what to do.
I waited and waited but nothing happened.
"Someone please help me!" I silently begged, but still no sign.
I was getting more and more frustrated as time went by and finally I couldn’t take it anymore.
I stood up and screamed.
I screamed at the top of my lungs until my throat was raw and gave out.
I couldn't control myself as my hands flew out in front of me and a power I didn’t know I was creating shot out at the trees.
Then everything went black as I fell to the ground.
Now here I was, sitting in bed as people talked about me on the other side of the door. I must seem like an insane person to them. I sure felt like one.
Just as I was about to go back to sleep, still exhausted from all the energy I used, Asher walked into the room.
“How long have you been awake? How are you feeling?” He asked when he saw my eyes open.
“I just woke up a few minutes ago and I feel fine.” I answered, looking anywhere but at him. Just seeing him now, I knew what I needed to do. I had to distance myself from him to protect myself. At the end of the day I couldn't count on anyone else but myself.
“If you need anything you know I’m here for you.” He told me, taking my hand in his and sitting down beside me.
“I just want to be alone right now.” I whispered, looking at him for a brief moment before looking away again, the pain in his eyes broke my heart. I knew I was hurting him but I was doing what was best for me.
“If that’s what you want.” He whispered back as he kissed my forehead, and before I could react he was gone.
I hated myself for doing this to him. But I had to, right?
Stop thinking about it Liza, you can’t second guess yourself now. It’s too late for that. A voice in the back of my mind said, and it was completely right. It was too late to go back now.
I just hoped I was doing the right thing.
But one thing I was sure of, was that I couldn’t just mope around all day everyday. That wouldn't do anyone any good. I needed to go out and make some more friends so I wasn't as dependent on Asher. The less I depended on him the less it would hurt if he left.
With that thought in mind, I got dressed in casual clothes and made myself presentable before I marched out of the room to find someone that could tell me where the closest mall was.
Malls are full of potential friends.
I finally got someone to tell me where the mall was after asking six different people, so that was were I was now.
I looked around the food court for anyone that looked like my kind of person, and who was preferably not a supernatural creature. I didn't need any more of those in my life.
I spotted a girl sitting alone at a table with a book in one hand and a milkshake in the other. She looked like a nice person to me, so I stood up and made my way towards her.
As I got closer I saw her more clearly and realized that she was very pretty. She had light brown eyes shielded by big square glasses that were in fashion right now, and she had her long brown hair tied into a side braid that looked great with her outfit of black converse, worn out skinny jeans, and a black hoodie. She looked like a nerd right out of a beauty magazine, in the best way possible.
She didn’t even look up from her book when I sat down across from her, she just carried on reading and sipping on her milkshake. It was kind of amusing, but I could picture myself doing the same thing.
“Hello.” I said, but if she heard me she didn’t show it, so I repeated myself louder, this time catching her attention.
“H-hi.” She stuttered, caught off guard by my sudden presence.
“I’m Liza.” I told her, giving her a small smile and wave like the dork I was.
“I’m Jade.” She replied, putting down her book before taking another sip of her milkshake.
“What are you reading?” I asked, taking interest in the medium sized book she was half way through.
"The fault in our stars by John Green, which is only one of the best books ever to be written.” She gushed, continuing on to tell me about how she had already read the book four times and saw the movie twice.
Eventually, after God knows how long, we drifted off the subject of her favourite book, and onto the subject of favourite milkshake flavours.
“Chocolate is the best and every girl can agree with me.” I argued, holding back a smile at how amusing this conversation was turning out to be.
“How cliché are you? Not every girl is a chocoholic, in fact I prefer strawberry milkshakes over anything else.” She stated proudly, as if not liking chocolate milkshakes was a big accomplishment.
I chuckled and shook my head, “You must not be a girl then.”
“Do I look like a man to you?” She asked rhetorically, fully knowing that no one would ever believe her if she told them she was a guy.
“You look like the manliest of men.” I teased, and we both laughed.
How was it that in a matter of twenty minutes I had become so comfortable with this girl? I had no idea but I didn't really care because I was having fun and it kept my mind off of what I was doing to Asher.
Jade and I talked for a while longer and I revealed to her that I wasn’t from around here, which seemed to disappoint her, but I assured her that I’d visit often once I went back home.
I couldn’t bare to lose her even though I'd just met her, she was the only regular friend I had and I wouldn’t jeopardize that.
We ended up walking around the mall and I swear we spent an eternity in the bookstore because Jade looked at every book.
By the time we were done it was after dinner time, so we both went home after exchanging numbers and promising to hang out soon.
I was so happy about making a friend that I didn’t once think about Asher until I was back at the cabin.
Once I got inside Becca and Asher practically pounced on me, asking a million questions at the same time.
“Calm down guys!” I shouted over them, prying them off of me.
“Sorry.” They both apologized, taking a step back from me.
“Where were you?” Becca asked, as I expected one of them to.
“I was at the mall, I made a new friend.” I told her, not once looking at Asher.
“You could have told us you were going and we would have come with you” She told me.
I shrugged, “I wanted to go on my own.”
“Oh, well I’m glad you’re okay.” She said, sounding hurt, before leaving the room.
“We should go to bed.” Asher suggested, breaking the silence that was created when Becca left.
“I actually wanted to sleep alone tonight.” I told him, feeling guilty even though it was the right thing to do.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll just sleep on the couch out here.” He replied, and I could just picture him with furrowed eyebrows and hurt dimming his eyes, but I didn’t check to see if I was right. If I looked at him I knew I’d break and abandon my plan, so without another word I scurried off to my room.
Once the door was closed behind me I fell onto my bed and buried my face in a pillow as I tried not to cry. I knew what I was doing wasn’t fair to Asher but it was the right thing to do.
I didn’t expect it to hurt this much though.
I wasn't sure how much longer I could do this, after one day it already felt like a huge mistake.
Why did I have to let Ava get to me like that?