It is now six o’clock in the morning and Rolan and I sit in the cave, waiting for the arrival of his friends and family. For the first couple minutes everything is fine. We both laugh and joke with each other like we have known the other for ages but as time goes by Rolan gets quieter and quieter,only nodding or shaking his head if I ask him something.
Soon enough his father and mother are inside the cave, as well as a few paramedics and his friends Vrey, Jake, Alex, Colton Ethan, George and his brother Thomas. They all crowd around Rolan, hugging as well as scolding him for scaring the hell out of them.
“Goddess! I’ve never felt so much fear in my life. The thought of never seeing your face again was scarier than The Conjuring.” Ethan exclaims, giving Rolan a man hug.
“I dunno Ethan. I think I could go a couple more days without seeing that ugly mug of his.” Thomas says jokingly before giving Rolan a brotherly hug.
“You better watch out, Bro.” Rolan says, giving Thomas a light punch to the arm.
“Oh you think you can take me.” Thomas replies, as they both throw harmless punches at the other.
Colton, who stands near to the two sighs and says,“I would say I’m glad to have you back, cousin, but your ruckus is giving me a headache.” He takes off his glasses, polishing the lense before opening up a book called the art of paper mâché, ignoring the two completely.
“Nice to see you too, Colton.” Rolan says. Jake and Alex approach next. Neither say anything but instead share a three way handshake with Rolan before each giving each other a firm nod. Rolan then turns to Vrey. Her green eyes are puffy and red and her bottom lip trembles. ” Hey Vrey.” Rolan says. She runs towards him and wraps her arms tightly around his waist. “Don’t you ever do that to me again!” She yells at him. He chuckles before returning her hug and it’s not long before all his family and friends are hugging him as well. Even Colton manages to do so awkwardly before pulling away after a couple seconds. I can’t help but feel a little left out but I know that this is a moment for them.
“Sorry to interrupt, your Majesties,” says one of the paramedics, “But we would like to take Rolan into hospital for the remainder of the day. There aren’t any external damages but we would like to check for any internal damage just to be sure.”
Mr Clarke answers, saying, “Of course. Whatever is needed to ensure the safety of my son.”
The paramedics lift Rolan onto a stretcher, even though he ensured them he could stand, and proceed to wheel him out of the cave. My immediate response is to follow along with them so I do, walking beside the stretcher.
“You can go home now, Mae.” Rolan says, looking me in the eye.
“No, I wanna make sure you’re ok.” I reply to him.
“I don’t need you. I’ve got everyone I need here.” He emphasises the word everyone as he takes Vrey’s hand. A pang of hurt shoots through my chest and I can’t help but feel a bit of jealousy slither through my body.
“Right. Ok. Sorry for caring.” I retort.
“You don’t need to care.” He replies.
“I guess I’ll just go home then.” I mutter, crossing my arms over my body to protect myself from the embarrassment that I can feel in the air. Nobody says a word as I walk quickly out of the cave, though I don’t miss the look of pity in everyone’s eyes as I make my exit.
I shake my head to myself. I don’t understand Rolan, one minute he’s telling me he’s missed me and he’s kissing me the next he’s being cold and basically telling me to piss off. Then there’s the fact that he’s my mate. How could he keep something like that from me, I just don’t understand.
It is an awkward walk back to the castle grounds. The paramedics carry Rolan on a stretcher not too far back from me and no matter how fast I walk and how far away from them I get, I can always feel his eyes burning holes into the back of my head, making me fidget uncomfortably. As I approach the castle I see Alan standing outside, waiting for me.
“Ready to go home ma’am.” He asks.
“Do you even have to ask that question,” I say,yawning, “I mean look at me. I look like crap.” We walk to the car as I take yet another yawn.
Alan laughs, “I think you look perfectly fine, ma’am.” He opens the car door for me.
“Thanks Alan.” I say, clambering into the car clumsily. It is only now that I sit in the car, the tiredness starts to settle in. My movements are becoming sluggish and my eyelids are drooping and every few minutes I yawn.
God, I hope my mum hasn’t woken up yet. I don’t think I could take her nagging and complaining in this state. Hopefully, for my sanity, she’ll never know about me leaving the house this morning. I’d never hear the end of it if she did.
Soon we are arriving at my home. I look at the building with furrowed eyebrows, I never realised how small my home was. Only now do I see that me and my mum have quite limited space. The windows are tiny, seeming to let insufficient amounts of air inside. The bricks are a dull red that blend into their surroundings, everything about the place is...plain.
I get out of the car, thanking Alan before going inside. I was right about the air not getting in from outside, the air inside here is thick and clammy and I feel like I’m suffocating. Rolan’s house didn’t feel like this, his place was airy and breezy and light.
Why am I comparing myself to him anyway? That little...I’m not going to finish that sentence.
“Mum.” I whisper yell, hoping that I don’t get an answer. The air remains silent and I breathe a sigh of relief. I flick my shoes off and tiptoe upstairs to my room. I flop onto the bed and as soon as my head is on the pillow my eyes close and my breathing evens and I’m blissfully asleep.
The hospital room is quiet with only the sound of the heart monitor beeping every so often, keeping in time with my uneven heart beat. I lay on an uncomfortable hospital bed with my hands tucked under my head, staring ahead at the bare, white walls in front of me.
I have come up with two conclusions since being in this goddess forsaken hospital. One, I am an asshole and two, assholes don’t deserve anything good, especially people who care.
The beast that lurks deep within me, paces. He agrees. We have failed our mate, we have failed our people. We are supposed to protect and care for our subjects, we are supposed to protect and care for our mate, to spoil our mate rotten with love and affection and attention. Yet, even with the two of us living inside this body we are unable to do so and that makes us failures.
Blake, my beast, lets out an anguished howl that is trapped within the walls of my mind. The image of him ripping, and tearing, and destroying everything in his path is played persistently (like a kind of daydream) in my head.
That is how we communicate our feelings as well as exchanging a few words but even without the words and images I know exactly what he’s thinking and feeling. We are,after all, one in the same.
“What are you thinking about?” A voice asks. Somewhere in between my frenzied thinking, Vrey must have walked in.
“A lot of things.” I reply.
“Tell me.” Vrey says.
“Do you think I’ve failed you?” I ask Vrey, briefly glancing at her before looking back at the wall in front of me.
“I think you failed everyone when you decided to up and leave without telling anyone where you were going?” A sudden sob escapes her chest, “Why Rolan? Why put us through so much pain and worry again. We thought you were gone, just like...” I watch as Vrey breaks down, trembling as she sobs into her hands. I gulp silently, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
“I’m so, so sorry Vrey. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone again.” I get up from the hospital bed to cradle her shaking frame.
“Why did you go, Rolan? Tell me, please.” Vrey asks, her vivid green eyes peer up into mine.
I nod, “You deserve to know. There was a note, left on my bed.” I fish it out of my pocket and show her the note.
“ I thought that if he was there and I found him I could redeem my selfish act.” I say, trying desperately to keep my tears at bay.”Vrey, it was terrible inside that cave. I don’t know what happened but I could hear him, screaming, ‘Why did you leave me? Why did you abandon me? Coward! Asshole! Deserter!’ It was terrible, I couldn’t take it. It’s because of me he’s gone.”
“You were a child and you were scared. Don’t you dare blame yourself for what happened. It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was because I didn’t protect him, that he was taken. If I was strong and held my ground he might still be here. But I’m a coward. I deserve no one, I can’t be trusted.” I mumble, hanging my head.
Vrey lifts my head with her index finger, eyes staring boldly into mine. In the werewolf culture that would be considered disrespectful. You never look directly into the eyes of someone of a higher ranking than you, nonetheless an alpha, however, I know she does this to remind me of my place.
“You are an alpha, my alpha and friend and that means you never hang your head in shame. You are bold and strong and least of all cowardly.” Vrey’s eyes are ablaze with determination. “Now tell me. This stuff that happened in the cave, is that why you rejected Mae.” She asks. I purse my lips together, too stubborn to admit the truth.
She roles her eyes at me, “Your such a stubborn wolf.” She comments.
“What does Blake think?” Vrey asks.
“We both think that Mae would be better off without us.” I struggle to admit.
Vrey scoffs at me and pulls out of our embrace to stand in front of me. “When are you gonna learn that not everyone is perfect. Not even you, your royal hybrid highness.” Vrey says sternly, “You don’t need to push everyone away.”
My nostrils flare and the blood in my body begins to boil. She doesn’t know what it feels like to carry a burden such as mine. She has no right to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do.
“Get out.” I growl, beginning to lose control of the predator that is trapped within my flesh. Black veins begin to mar my skin, winding their ways up my arms and neck.
“You’re doing it now, pushing me away. You don’t have to...”
“I am your prince and I order you to get out!” I shout, slamming my fist into the nearest wall, leaving a huge hole.
Vrey sighs and heads towards the door but before leaving says, “Just remember, you’re not alone. Please, for me, just remember that.” She exits the room , leaving me in there angry and breathing sporadically.
AN: Sorry I haven’t updated in such a long time. I’ve been so busy this week.
I can’t wait to update the next chapter, there is going to be a lot of drama! ‘Til next time!