Two crappy things have happened today. One, I don’t have to go to school on the day I really want to and two, I barely slept last night for fear of being killed in my sleep. Maybe if I were going to school today I could somehow avoid being murdered but somehow, deep in the back of my mind, I know that I would be no safer at school than now in my house. I have a feeling that ‘crazy eyes’ will be able to locate me wherever I am. The only difference would be that there would be more people to watch my death in school.
I shiver. Last night I was so terrified that a cloud of green and black smoke would appear in my room I stayed up most of the night, so that in the event ‘crazy eyes’ did return, I would be ready. I laugh, a tired drawn out laugh. The kind of laugh you do when you’re drunk on sleep. I’m acting as though I’m some sort of spy-ninja that has a brain and mad karate skills to fight bad guys off with. Me, a girl with two malfunctioning arms. Ha!
The doctors said yesterday that they had never seen anything like me. I was deemed a ‘special case’ that they unfortunately didn’t know how to treat, so they sent me away with a bunch of paracetamol for the pain.
The man in the white suit, or should I say, Lycurgus, seemed to think that it was something to do with the company I keep aka Rolan and co, but what does that mean. He has left me thoroughly perplexed and thoroughly scared. His whole demeanour just felt off. He acted like he knew something everybody else didn’t and it’s his knowledge that scared me... as well as, you know, the fact that he can literally paralyse my body with just one touch.
“Mae,” my mum says, opening my bedroom door, “I’m off to work now. I’ll be back around lunch to check up on you.” She comes over, eyes glistening with tears as she looks at the black lines on my arms and the dark circles under my eyes. She strokes a tender hand on my cheek and kisses my forehead. “Are you in pain?” My mum asks.
“Nah, I’m fine if I don’t move much.” I reply, kissing my mum’s hand.
“I’m so worried, Mae.” She says
“Don’t be. I’m fine.” I say, trying to reassure her.
“How can I not Mae?” My mum says, “You’re my daughter.”
“And you are my mum...who’s going to be late for her job.” I say, catching a glimpse of the time on my watch.
“Trying to get rid of me now, are you?” She says.
I giggle and reply with, “Of-course not, mum. How could you ever think that?” I pretend to look offended. My mum smiles and says, “Okay, I really do have to go now.”
“Ok, see you later. Have a good day.” I say. My mum leaves and I am once again left in the quiet.
With much effort, I grab my phone off the cabinet next to my bed and begin to scroll through YouTube, looking for something to watch. I finally settle on a video of old vines to watch as entertainment for myself, so I snuggle down into my bed and get comfy. I pull the sleeves of my pj’s down suddenly feeling cold as a breeze blows through my open window. Funny, I don’t remember opening my bedroom window, then again I don’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday. Did I even have lunch? I must have, I never miss the opportunity to eat. I shake my head and focus on my phone screen again.
“Are you seriously watching old vines?” Rolan”s voice invades the peacefulness of the room. I jump and then scream a bit from the pain in my arms. My frightened expression soon turns into a scowl as I see Rolan standing beside my bed with an amused smile on his face. The image of him and Mrs Barnett in the classroom pops into my head and I have to swallow hard to stop a lump forming in my throat.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, turning my head back to my phone screen. I hear Rolan scratch his head before he replies, “Ok, so I know that I’m probably not one of the people you want to see right now.”
I make a grunting noise in agreement to that statement. “You can say that again.”
“So I came to apologise.” My eyebrows raise at his words. Rolan does not seem like the type to apologise. I slowly turn my head toward him.
“So, I’m sorry,” he continues, “ I was just...in a mood. A lot had happened that evening I guess I just took my frustrations out on you which was not ok. So I want to make it up to you by taking you on another date.” My eyes widen slightly, I wasn’t expecting that, especially not after what I saw yesterday.
“And if I refuse?” I ask. Rolan smirks, he leans in closer so that I can feel his warm breath on my face.
“Then I’ll change your mind,” He says, capturing my lips with his. It’s a slow teasing kiss that has butterflies whizzing in my stomach and my thigh muscles clenching together. Rolan’s hand skims over my collarbones, just above my breasts, letting tingles like an electric current erupt on my skin, I shiver.
A couple more moments pass before we finally pull away both of us breathing hard. I stare into Rolan’s dark brown eyes and move my arms slowly so that both my hands cup his face. More tingles erupt where our skin meets and I can’t help myself when a soft sigh escapes my lips. Rolan moves his head closer so that his lips are peppering small kisses all over my neck.
“Rolan.” I say, trying to get his attention. He hums to acknowledge me but doesn’t stop his assault on my neck. “Rolan, look at me.” I say.
He stops and looks at me, “You ok?” He asks, looking slightly concerned.
“I want you to promise me something.” I say to him, my gaze never leaving his.
“Anything.” He replies.
“You don’t know what it is yet,” I say.
“I already agree.” He says, stroking my cheek with a gentle hand.
“Promise, you’ll never hurt me. That you’ll never mess with my feelings.” For a second Rolan seems shocked, his features moulding into an expression of confusion. “Promise me.” I say more forcefully. Rolan puts a loving hand on my cheek and stares me deep in the eyes.
“I promise.” He says.