Two for Wales...
As Joe said these words, somewhere on the other side of the country in a quiet wooded area high in the Welsh hills, a place that had an ancient reputation for strange occurrences, a place that kept the locals away by mere rumour, a hole tore open in the air. The hole was a jet black void and spontaneously opened with a tearing sound, it then howled and whined like a rabid wolf for a few seconds seeming to suck in the light and sound around it. The hole stood dead centre in a ring of broken and blackened stones that once upon a time druids or summoners might have used for a summoning circle. A tree that had grown within the disused ring and stood close enough to the rent withered visibly in the few seconds the hole had been open and crashed to the ground, desiccating to dust moments after. Dead and dried leaves that littered the floor whipped up and circled in a vortex of debris, dust and dirt. Seconds past as the rent in the fabric of space yawned wider, spreading out tendrils of pure darkness as it formed finally into a rough lens shape. When it had reached about six feet in height and four feet across at its widest point a shadow of a figure stepped out of the midnight centre. The figure was female by shape, slightly under six feet tall dressed in a skin tight anatomically fitting one piece skin suit that covered her body from neck to ankle in a slick black sheen, its fit left absolutely nothing to conjecture about her gender, a coat of paint would have been less clingy! She was sporting a pair of black bat wings that touched the ground at her heels, while in her right hand she carried a decidedly nasty looking six foot trident. It was kind of stereotypical but maybe some of the old ways were still good. As her feet exited the rent and touched the leaf litter strewn ground small flames reared up as the leaves ignited. The howling of the rent started to die down leaving a gaunt still quiet behind, nothing stirred, no sound of life came from any direction. The figure stared about itself for a moment, then turned back to the hole. Her face showed a look of exasperation.
“Come on for nine hell’s sake Ell! What’s taking you? You know this portal isn’t going to stay open long.” She called back.
“Yeah, yeah I’m coming Ay, hold your damn water!” A slightly shorter female came trotting out of the centre. Similar in appearance to Ay with huge bat wings. Ell hurried out through the opening, she carried her favourite bull whip. Unlike Ay however she was dressed in an extremely skimpy black leather two piece that barely covered her most intimate parts let alone anything in between, indeed a good length of dental floss would probably have covered her modesty more. As she trotted out her boot heels clicking and clacking her extremely sizeable chest bounced in almost obscene movements. She finally stepped through the tear and immediately tripped forwards with a squawk as her stiletto boot heel dug to its full depth into the soft ground.
“Oh for hell’s sake Ell! I told you those boots would be impractical.”
Ell rolled onto her back, nursing her ankle and sat up brushing leaves from herself, “You think I’m not going to wear them? They’re my favourites!”
Ay shook her head with a look of sympathy, “You and your God cursed boots! They may look good and sexy but come on those heels are like needle spikes.”
“I just didn’t think we’d end up on soft ground my boots are fine on anything else…”
As Ell sat brushing more dirt from her she looked around. The quiet was disturbingly so. A noise like a loud clap drew her attention back to the yawning black hole as it spontaneously slammed shut and abruptly vanished with a reverberating bang. Birds rose squawking in alarm into the air from the tree branches. “Charming I must say!” Ell carefully rose back to her feet, she tested her weight on her ankle, nothing damaged but her pride. She tried to look down her body as she continued brushing more dirt and leaf litter from herself. “Damn messy place! OK so where in the all the levels of hell are we then?” She looked at her hands now smeared in dark brown and grimaced.
“I think about the closest I can tell you sis is we’re on Earth! At least I think we are…Compared to where we were…it is freezing! I can feel the chill even in this.” Ay visibly shivered, in spite of her more complete covering, what her sister Ell must be feeling dressed in her leather patches she didn’t dare guess at.
Ell looked around and hugged herself, “Brr, yeah you’re right, wish I’d worn more now!”
“I did try to tell you sis! Hell is hot, the mortal realm is not! But no! You knew better didn’t you? You thought you could get away with those leather hankies of yours. How come when you have so little on it took you so long to get ready too?”
“Oh stop it with the I told you so alright? I get it! Been a while that’s all. These leather hankies have served me in the past! If you don’t put it on display sis you don’t get the attention do you?”
“Yes but there’s on display and flaunting it!”
“…Besides if we’re going to encounter any males here I want to look my best don’t I?”
“You’re practically naked!”
“Yes? And? Look Ay, the way I see it we have a job to do right? The sooner we do it, the sooner we put pay to this wizard geezer, then the sooner we get back to that nice warm place we call home. We’ll also have a successful mission under our belts at last and his lordship will be pleased with us right? That could mean promotion, unless you want to spend your time working the maggot pits.” Ell half turned her top half then turned it back the other way. “So where do you suppose this wizard geezer is supposed to be at?”
“You think I know? I don’t even know where in the six hundred and sixty six levels of the abyss we are.”
“Well there must be some clues...”
Ay stared around eyeing a couple of the trees, “OK, yes By the looks of it...I’d say…definitely…we’ve come out in some sort of wood…maybe it’s a forest though...hard to tell because of all the trees!”
Ell rolled her eyes, “Genius sister I can see you got the brains there! No need to take the piss though! Means I must have got the looks right…?”
“Well I don’t hear you doing any better dear sister! Without more information we’ve got zip!” Ell looked around more thoughtfully, maybe Ay was right trees surrounded them on all sides. “Look which of us is going to be in charge here you or me?”
“Who did it the last time?”
“I did.” Ay grimaced.
“And from what I remember that was one glorious, what’s the phrase mortals use, end to end cluster fuck. We’re lucky we got back at all. I’ll take charge this time!” Ay shrugged and held an open palm up as if saying be my guest.
“I just hope we’re in the same country is all.” Ay shrugged her shoulders flexing her wings, she hefted her trident a couple of times in pretend thrusts imagining impaling a mortal onto the tines as he screamed and begged for her mercy.
“Nothing like a well planned mission is there? OK, so maybe we can find someone to get directions from.”
Ay choked a laugh, “You’re seriously going to collar some local yokel and get them to give you directions? Just like that? Dressed in next to nothing? Sure you are!”
“Well what else?”
“Oh I don’t know. But don’t the mortals have rules about decency?”
“...now you mention it.” Ell placed a hand on her hip and wiggled seductively, “We’re succubi dearest sister, demons, what the fuck do rules matter to babes like us? And you know a soul or two might come in as a handy snack. But...” Ell held up an index finger, “directions first, souls after!” Ell then smirked as she hefted her whip and started to march off. Any direction to her looked about as promising as any other so she just strutted off in an awkward waddling gait trying to avoid her heels digging in and sending her sprawling to the floor again. She walked straight towards Ay, paused momentarily as she pressed her finger to her lips, “Perhaps…?” she turned smartly through ninety degrees. In turning she almost slapped Ay across the face with her wings and stalked off in the new direction.
“Watch it will you? You know sis we might need to lose the wings, cover them up somehow, I don’t know how they’d feel about them here. But it’s kind of a giveaway we’re not locals.”
“Are you kidding?” Ell clamped one hand to her waist and wiggled her hips again, “Couple of burning hot babes like us? Wings are the last thing those mortals are going to be looking at!” Ell laughed raucously and gave her upper body a half twist that a contortionist would have been proud of, she bent at the waist giving a truly pornographic view and shake of her pendulous hanging breasts.
“Oh so tempting!” Ay smirked back contemptuously, “Well how do you know which way you’re going?”
“I don’t!” Ell turned back forwards and waved her hand dismissively over her shoulder, “But we might as well pick some direction…this forest, wood or whatever it is can’t go on forever. Come on! Once we’re clear of these trees we can see better and consider our options.”
“Consider our options? We only have one, find this wizard and stop him.”
“Well there’s more than one way to skin a maggot Ay. You coming or just going to sulk there?”
“Yeah yeah, hells give me a chance to get my stuff together. His lordship gave me a mana detector maybe we can use it to find wonder boy!” Ay shouldered her trident, she had a distinct sinking feeling about this whole mission thing. What was it Ell had called the last one...an end to end cluster fuck? Ay had worked hard to become a succubus so returning to being a larval maggot for a few centuries definitely did not appeal!
Ell looked back, smirked and clapped her a hand to the side of her breasts, caressing her left one with her best come to bed handsome gaze in her eyes, “Not that much to get together darling. Unlike my gorgeous self.” Ell turned back and lifted her chin, “I shall be simply irresistible!” She stepped forward proudly and her heel sunk into the soft ground again as she pitched forwards. “Damn it!”
Ay let a trace of a smirk pass her face, “I can hear the dogs baying already sis!” She said under her breath.