This time I was the one leaving.
I could only stare out the window of the car, watching the landscape pass by with despair clawing at my heart. I didn’t want to leave, but how could I stay? How could I just stay there after everything that happened? After Ella?
So I didn’t. I left.
There was something different this time around, though. I wasn’t alone. I didn’t have to go to sleep at night wondering if I would wake up into the bleak solitary life that I was sure would await me come morning. I went to sleep knowing that I had something to live for tomorrow: my Sister, Skye, and for the utter determination to just keep living. I didn’t want to just exist anymore. I wanted to live.
That was over a year ago. Now, I just existed.
I didn’t feel alive anymore. My heart was gray and still, devoid of the life that used to set it afire.
I felt dead on the inside.