Chapter 11: No Promises
“What did you want to talk about?” I asked as he closed the door.
Deacon stood there and just stared at me intently.
“Okay. Umm. This is getting awkward.” I said as I looked at him questionably.
I gasped as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against.
“Deacon I-” I was cut off when he put his lips on mine.
Deacon put his left hand on my cheek while his right hand stayed on my waist.
He pulled back slightly and rested his forehead against mine.
I gulped. “Um. I-I.”
“I’m sorry.” He breathed. “I’ve wanted to do that ever since I saw you. I couldn’t help myself.”
Reality hit and I pushed him away.
“Don’t do that ever again or else I’ll rip your heart out.” I threatened trying to act like the kiss didn’t affect me.
Deacon scoffed and gave me a humorless laugh. “You already ripped my heart out.”
I felt guilt course through my body as he walked to the other side of the room.
Well I’m just gonna act like that didn’t kill me on the inside.
I cleared my throat. “What did you want to talk about?”
I was surprised at the look that was all over Deacon’s face.
“I want to apologize.” Deacon said.
I snapped out of it when I heard those words.
“You can. But it’s not going to fix anything.” I said as I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I know that.” Deacon whispered and turned away from me.
“And did you really think that I would welcome you with open arms?” I asked with a dark chuckle. “Because boy are you wrong. You tried to kill me Deacon. You tried to take over my pack and kill me. What you did was so wrong.”
“Do you think I don’t know that?” Deacon growled as he turned to face me. “I regret it so much. Seeing the fear in your face, but you still faced me head on. I felt like the biggest dick. My wolf was so mad at me. Knowing that I was planning on killing you to take over your land. I felt awful. I wanted to kill myself that day.”
“Well at least you know what you did wrong.” I told him. “I was so hurt Deacon. Knowing that my own mate was going to try and kill me, it gets to ya.”
“Ace?” Deacon asked. “I have a question for you.”
“What were you doing on my territory the day that you saved me?”
“Umm nothing.” I said as I turned around.
“You were going to reject me that morning.” He said quietly. “Weren’t you?”
I nodded again. “I was going too. But then you got attacked and I backed out.”
“Can I ask why?” Deacon asked. “If I was you, I wouldn’t have backed out. I would have let the rogues kill me.”
I sighed. “Do you know the saying, ‘you don’t know what you got until it’s gone’?”
“Truth is, you know exactly what you have, you just thought you’d never lose it.” I said sadly. “That came to my mind today when I saw the rogue biting your neck.”
“Why?” Deacon asked as he leaned forward.
“I was so ready to reject you. I had everything planned out and I thought it was going to be easy.” I laughed slightly as I looked down at my hands. “But seeing you almost die in front of me, hurt. It actually hurt. After I saved your ass, I wanted to reject you. But then the thought of losing you came to mind and I backed out.”
“Is that what Gabriel was hinting at?” Deacon asked shocked.
I nodded. “He knew I couldn’t do it. Bastard.”
“But then you rejected me eventually.” Deacon sighed.
“I did.” I replied standing tall. “You didn’t know that what you did impacted me so much. You acted as if it wasn’t a big deal. I had to end it to show you that it really hurt me.”
“I know that now.” Deacon admitted. “And I know that saying sorry isn’t going to fix anything. But I’m trying Ace. I’m really trying. I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving to you that I deserve your love.”
“Deacon.” I sighed as I walked up to him. “I don’t kno-”
“Are you really saying that we don’t belong together?” Deacon asked cutting me off. “Ace. If we didn’t, then the rejection would have worked.”
I gulped. How did he know?”
“H-how did you know that.” I asked shocked.
“Let’s just say that I got a very special visit last night.” Deacon smiled. “Ace. Our markings on our wolves mean something. It is proof that we belong together. And if the rejection did work.” Deacon paused as he grabbed my hand. “The sparks would be dull until they disappear.”
I shivered slightly as the spark were stronger than ever.
I quickly pulled back my hand and took a step back.
“I-I need time Deacon.” I admitted. “I am not going to run into your arms immediately. Especially after what you did to my pack.”
“That’s okay.” Deacon said happily. “I can wait. I don’t care how long.”
I nodded trying not to show any emotion.
“As long as you know it’s going to be awhile.” I told him crossing my arms.
Gotta look serious and professional so he doesn’t think he is off the hook.
“That’s fine.” Deacon nodded.
“And you have to work towards being my mate. We aren’t mates just yet.”
Deacon’s smile slipped as he sighed. “Right.”
“We aren’t even friends. You have to work towards being my friend first. Then we will work from there. And you have to earn my respect and trust back.” I said sternly. “And you have to earn the respect of my pack members back as well. Because they are so pissed at you.”
Deacon nodded frantically. “I can do that.”
I nodded once. “Good.”
I still can’t tell if this is a good idea, or a bad idea. Just please Moon Goddess. Don’t make me regret this.