Lizard's Sparkle

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Chapter 12


Perv-dad gave me a crown. If this was bribery then sign me up with glitter kisses and a sparkling flourish because this guy knew how to bribe. He was the briber-king, the bribiest of bribers, the holy-bribe-grail of all bribes.

It was actually kind of sweet because even though we hadn't yet had a real conversation, and even though he missed out on twenty-three years of my witch life, and even though he seemed like a bit of a dick, he still just got me.

If there was another witch in all the realms that was as distracted by sparkly things and jewel be-dazzling as I was then bitch better come fight me because, gasp, I was literally the Queen of glitter crowns.

"Thank you," I sighed with appreciation. "This is awesome, like, it's all sparkles and black jewels and I've always wanted one just like this." I grinned up at him as I yanked it further into my grasp because he hadn't let go of it yet and I needed him to so that I could stroke it and hug it and fix it to my head so tightly that I'd never have to take it off again.

His smile stretched across his whole face. "You like it, daughter?"

I nodded and yanked again, because, would he just let go already? "I do, it's the best crown ever, I've never seen one so big or sparkly or just amazing. It totally suits me."

He grinned even wider, glitter painting his lips in a coal-black shimmer. "I'm glad," he finally released his hold on my crown with a quick snap of his wrist, "Elrin will accompany you back to the festivities and introduce you to your siblings." He clicked his fingers while I stared in wonder at my crown, unable to tear my gaze away for even a second to see who this Elrin was. "Ah, there you are. Please escort Hayley to meet the rest of her family, I will join you later."

He said Hayley like someone might say dogshit but I didn't even care right then because crown. Pretty sparkly crown.

"Later we can discuss your powers," perv-dad prodded, "alone, without your dragon interfering, hmm?"

Honestly, I would have agreed to just about anything, I was paying exactly zero attention to the two males smirking behind me. I knew they were there but I just didn't care about anything other than my new crown. "Uhuh, yep, whatever." I waved my hand somewhere around my head to indicate I'd heard and mainly just to get them to go away so I could spend some uninterrupted time with my new sparkles.

Perv-dad seemed pleased. "Excellent. Elrin, don't forget what we discussed." His footsteps quickly marched to the doors closing us off from the main banquet hall without even acknowledging me.

Again, still didn't care, because crown.

Footsteps tapped the soft carpeting behind me, light and dainty, nothing like the dragon's thundering feet. "Shall I fix it to your hair?" A humming tinkle of smooth male whispered across my ears. "Would you like that?"

Yes. That sounded quite lovely actually, I'd look amazing with this pretty crown on my head, In fact, I didn't think I should ever take it off. "Yes, do that," I commanded, "do it now."

A light laugh disturbed the curls above my head, sending a shudder down my spine, enough that I finally dragged my eyes away from my pretty crown to glance up at the elf staring down at me. He was tall, taller than any other elf I'd seen so far. Lithe with an obviously defined form, muscle that cut a rather refined figure. Blond hair that swept across his head and dangled low enough to almost obscure the obsidian eyes that glinted at me through the silky strands.

"Who are you?" I questioned because he wasn't one I'd seen before.

"I am your intended, My Sweet." He smiled, a stretch of taut lips that whitened to nearly blend in with his pale skin.

I frowned. I was getting married? "Shouldn't I know your name?" Because for some reason my head was awfully cloudy.

"But you do know it, it's Elrin of course." His hand lifted to part my curls and place the crown, that I hadn't even noticed he'd taken from my hands, securely on my head. Clips fastened it to my hair and it felt heavy and constricting and wonderful all at the same time.

"Yes, I must have forgotten, I know now." I blinked up at him, marvelling at his tall frame. "Will you carry me?" Because males were meant to carry their females...and pat them. Patting was also necessary.

His lips twisted to disgust. "Elves do not need to be carried. How common," he sniffed, "you will follow me to the hall and sit beside your father. Do not move from my side, there are dangerous witches here that you must not be left alone with, they will seek to hurt you if you're not careful."

Oh, that was nice, he was trying to keep me safe, even if the carrying thing was disappointingly off the table. I grinned up at him. "You're so lovely, we must have the best time together, have we been dating long?"

He took my bicep into his hand, long fingers wrapping around my upper arm with a clamping grip. "Oh, not that long," he hummed, "it was more of an instant click."

Wow. That sounded pretty cool. I'd always been one for those fast and furious romances. I wondered if we'd had sex yet, then wiggled my butt trying to see if I could feel twinges from my vagina that would point to definite sex. I probably would have remembered that but my head seemed so cloudy that maybe I'd just forgotten. Or maybe he was really bad at it and I didn't want to remember. Oh shit. Maybe I was really bad at it and I was blocking it out. I mean if we were getting married surely I would have tested the goods first - no way would I have agreed to that without a good go at it. Plus, if it was supposed to be such a whirlwind romance then I kind of expected there to be some serious firey passion. That hot and sweaty kind that translated to the inability to keep your hands off each other. Like what I had with Lucy.

Wait. Who's Lucy? I gasped out loud and Elrin turned to me with a questioning eyebrow.

"Who's Lucy?"

His eyes narrowed. "No one, My Sweet," he winked, that obsidian globe blinking in and out of vision, "your crown looks beautiful. Like it was made for you."

I beamed back at him. He was so nice. "It does, doesn't it?"

He pulled me to the door, basically dragging me along due to my short legs and his long stride. I huffed in displeasure and mourned the no-carrying rule that was now apparently a thing. I pouted up at Elrin while he forced me to run-walk to keep up, pushing through elves that crowded around the doorway and straight to the raised platform that held my father's throne and a smaller one just to the side of him.

Lucy would have carried me.

"I will invite your siblings to greet you, your father will be along shortly to take his place beside you. Do not remove the crown, it shows your people that you are the daughter of King Thereon and they will treat you as such."

I snorted loudly and glitter poofed in a pink cloud around my head, because why would I ever remove my crown? Heck, I'd probably sleep in it too.

Elrin sighed in disappointment beside me, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "He had better remember his promise for this," he mumbled.

"What?" I frowned at him.

He grunted, "nothing." Then swept us the last few steps to the raised platform and the two thrones. "Here we are." He near enough pushed me into the smaller throne and released his hold on my arm. "There are guards at the rear and they will prevent any others approaching, please stay where you are and I will collect your siblings."

He seemed a little grouchy, maybe he needed a crown of his own. "Are you okay?" I asked with a smile, hoping he wasn't upset with me.

He nodded and finally relaxed his jaw to give me another of those winks. "I'm fine, My Sweet, I will return shortly." He gave a slight bow and quickly turned on his heels and stalked away, leaving me with only my crown to keep me occupied.

Totally cool with that though. I lifted a hand and poked my finger straight at my head, connecting with the black, sparkly jewels with a contented sigh, stroking the long lines of the intricate design. I let my eyes wander to the crowds of elves packed within the large hall, disinterestedly following them as they almost floated with little effort, navigating the room and talking to acquaintances with long goblets of colourful wine. I was far enough from them that their voices were just a low hum in the background and I slouched further into the throne, stroking my crown and sinking into a cloudy, hazy daydream.

"Pssst." A voice broke through my languid state.

My eyes flickered to the front of the platform, frowning when I could see there was no one there close enough to be talking to me.

"Pssst, Glitter-snatch, over here," the whisper-shout came again.

I turned my head to the left, seeing long draping fabric sweeping the floor in shades of gold that perfectly matched the rest of the decor that had pieces of actual gold inlaid. I frowned again, seeing no sign of anyone there attempting to get my attention.

"Oh, for balls sake," a disgruntled sigh came, "down here, look lower!"

I snapped my gaze to the edge of the platform, the gold flowing fabric obscuring the drop off down to the main level, and caught sight of silver-grey hair poking through a slit in the material.

"Finally! Good Goddess, you young witches are ignorant," she moaned.

"Who are you?" I asked, gripping one of the long arches of my crown with my palm and sliding my hand up and down in agitation.

She rolled her eyes, poking her head out further and almost crawling onto the platform with the upper half of her body. I gasped in horror at the sight.

"Is that a hunch on your back? Have you been cursed by the witches?" Because Elrin had said they were not to be trusted.

She sniffed delicately. "My breast slipped, I think the spell is breaking down and it's moved to my back rather than my chest," she sighed forlornly, "Igor will miss my boobs."

What the heck was an Igor?

"You have a boob on your back?" That was...different.

She rolled her eyes. "Please, it's not like that's the weirdest thing I've ever had back there," she stated, then blinked at me for a moment before a cackle burst out of her lips, "ha! Dirty minx," she winked at me.

"Um, what?" I stroked my crown harder, anxiety surging through me that even my crown was failing to stop.

She huffed. "Hayley, stop wanking your crown and get down here, Serena asked me to find you but the guards wouldn't let me through."

"Who's Serena?" I started to wonder if the hunchback was a little off in the head.

Her eyes widened. "Oh dear, this isn't good." She twitched and shivered then bent her left arm behind her back and twisted awkwardly, knocking her elbow into the platform to force her hand higher and scratched at her hunch. "Bloody boob itch," she grunted, shaking the top half of her body vigorously in a shudder before yanking her arm back to its normal position. "Right, stay there, I'll find Serena and tell her you've been body-snatched."

I frowned, stroking my crown again. "I have?"

She nodded. "Probably what your vision was trying to tell you," she replied, then murmured, "we'd better find that dragon as well before the rest of it comes true."

"Dragon?" I blinked at her.

"Yes, you know, big, naked, and sexy," she cooed with a twinkle in her eye.

She was awfully confusing. "Do you like my crown?" I pointed at it, in case she hadn't gotten a good look at it and that was why she wasn't staring at it in awe.

"Good grief, they could have left you with a few brain cells." She rolled across the platform to the edge where the draping fabric finally ended, her boob wobbling as she attempted to stand, then cheered softly in victory when after a few attempts she eventually managed to turn and face me while fully upright. "Bloody hell, really knocks you off balance when it's back to front. I'm going to need a car to carry this thing around...or a small boat," she snorted, "motorboat," and then let loose a tittering giggle.

I had no idea what to say to that.

She huffed a sigh. "I really don't like this Hayley," she pouted, "I want the other one back that laughed at my shitty sex jokes." Her eyes then snapped to the rear of the platform and the thrones, in the same direction as a thud of a door closing far behind. "Shit, incoming," she hissed, then crunched her eyebrows together in thought. "Maybe if I just..." She trailed off pointing a finger at me.

I blinked. "What?" Then screeched as a blast of sparking electric blue flashed right at my eyes. I threw up my hands in a pointless effort to protect my face, closing my eyelids as if that would stop the magic hurtling towards me, before both myself and the throne I was sitting on was blasted back across the platform and tipped me over to slap against the floor. The force felt like I'd been hit in the face with a car, every muscle tensed and fired into contractions I couldn't stop and my skin felt like it had been seared with thousands of tiny hot pokers. The scent of burning hair and smoke hit my nose as my body convulsed in shudders, thick plumes of smoke wafted around my head and I choked and coughed as my throat burned.

I hacked out a glob of spit, tasting nothing but barbecued glitter-witch, and hauled myself over onto my hands and knees to crawl back to the old-witch so I disintegrate her face with so much glitter that she'd either die or turn into a freaking eyeshadow.

"What the fuck, Grams?" Because yeah, electric shock therapy needed swearing.

I couldn't even see straight, and barely made out her figure standing somewhere in front of the raised platform, smoke still steaming off my body and my hair standing on end and buzzing somewhere a foot above my head. But I still didn't miss her reply.

"Um, oops?" She tried. "But also, yay! Your brains seem to be back online, so it worked. Let's remember that last fact and we just won't tell Serena about it because I'll literally never hear the end of it."

"You fried me," I snapped, because I felt like that really needed to be repeated.

"A small fry, tiny really, barely a minor fry." Her boob jiggled on her back as she bounced on her toes and worried at her lip.

"I'm going to kill you, Quasimodo."

She rolled her eyes. "Suck my back-titty, Twinkle-twat."

I gasped in horror. "Who told you?!"

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