Lizard's Sparkle

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Chapter 8

Sorryfor the wait! My internet’s been sketchy so if Ihaven’t replied to any comments then I’m not ignoring you I either haven’t had them yet or I’m not getting them, they aren’tgoing to my email address either so...yeah...I live at the bottom of a mountain, this happens occasionally.


I totally needed a castle. I mean, sure, it was a tad bit pretentious but if i wanted to be the first glitter queen of the human realm then I should probably get started on my glistening white towers pretty soon.

And as nice as my perv-dad’s castle was, marble-type flooring included, mine was definitely going to be better.

I pouted at the third solid gold door as we passed by, huffing when I noticed the diamond encrusted handles, convinced it would better with some added glitter because as much as the low-born comment had kind of stung coming from him, glitter still absolutely made everything better. I sighed as a large dragon hand patted my back yet again, a response that seemed to come almost immediately whenever a sound left my lips.

“This way,” Sierra herded us cheerfully, her whisper soft steps paces behind the elf king as he sauntered in a beeline for the large ornate doors at the head of the grand hallway.

I couldn’t help smiling at her in return, she just seemed kind of sweet, and if it wasn’t for the fact that my perv-dad had given her butt a solid, and highly condescending, tap as he marched towards the castle, fully expecting her to follow in his footsteps as we left the carriage, then I might even have said I liked her. But she was also definitely a card carrying member of his dirty harem so I couldn’t even attempt to speak to her without throwing up in my mouth a little. In fact it kind of made me think I couldn’t talk to any of the females in the entire kingdom because I’d constantly wonder if they were a part of the apparently very long list of his conquests.

I guess Serena finally had a half decent point - Grams was hilarious but obviously this changed to skeevy when it was your own relations parading their slutty around.

“Psst, hey!”

I snapped my head towards the whisper-shout. Like the devil, apparently if you thought about her enough then she would appear.

“Do my boobs look a bit off to you?” A crinkle formed between her eyebrows on otherwise remarkably smooth skin.

“Huh?” I answered, because I’d learned to always clarify the question when it came to Grams.

She sighed, glancing down to her chest and jiggling as we followed behind Serena and Cat. “My left one feels odd, does it look deflated?”

My gaze instantly dropped to the monstrosities attached to her chest. “They’re still huge if that’s what you mean.” So huge I wondered if they were big enough to keep her afloat in a bathtub all by themselves.

Grams sniffed elegantly. “Good. I promised Igor I’d suffocate him later,” she hummed excitedly as she plumped up her already over-plumped boobs, “I think this spell will work out wonderfully.”

I gaped at her. “Suffocate? What?”

Grams grinned, eyes flashing with a hazy light. “Oh not permanently, Hayley,” she cackled lightly before lowering her voice to a whisper, “I know when to stop before he dies,” she winked at me.

Good grief. The woman was positively mental. And a dirty, dirty slut.

I was mildly impressed.

And sort of wondered if she’d give me tips.

“So he likes it then?” I whispered back.

Her grin took over her whole face. “Cums in his pants like a teenager.”

I’ll be honest, I felt a little awestruck. I desperately wanted her to spill all her sex secrets and divulge her powers of the penis like she was an ancient teacher of all things x-rated. Plus, Google could only teach you so much, and the internet certainly didn’t have a page for how to stop your date from choking on glitter or help them avoid a man-eating dragon while trying to stick it in your glitter-snatch.

“Huh.” I blinked at Grams. “So what else does he like?”

Her grin turned positively evil. “Come closer, my short and sparkly student, Grams will school you on everything male.” Her whisper was kind of freaky and I had the sudden and looming feeling I’d made a disastrous pact with a dark and decidedly unhinged creature.

Grams proceeded to tell me stories the entire time we followed Thereon through his massive, and quite obviously over-compensating for a penile shortfall, castle while I became more and more horrified. I’d also missed the point at which Lucian had shifted ever closer and was now determinedly dogging my steps to the point of trampling over me, making loud disgusted grunts when he disagreed with Grams’ suggestions, and pleased, happy rumbles when he heard something he liked. An almost continuous pat, pat, pat to my back kept an oddly soothing rhythm.

My dragon was a filthy male, but nowhere near Grams’ level of perversion.

That made a surprising tingle flare to life in my stomach, which I desperately clenched until it squashed enough to lessen to a pleasant warmth.

Elf. I was supposed to be thinking elf, not dragon, and even though I’d yet to meet any male elves - other than perv-dad obviously - I was dead set on coming away from this rescue/meet-the-absent-parent/vacay-in-unicorn-land thing virginity free.

Double solid gold doors swung open on huge hinges that creaked with effort. I followed behind Serena as she stalked through the archway, Grams plumping her new boobs again with a flourish and a satisfied hum. Lucian stepping on my heels as his fingers slyly sifted through my curls and he took big wuffing breaths as he bent from his great height to sniff at the blonde strands.

I glittered excitedly every time his breath fluttered over the back of my neck and shivered at his pleased rumbles in response to my sparkles.

I wasn’t really willing to look too far into it right at that moment but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t thinking elf every time his fingers tugged at my curls. The prodding at my back from a large erection was equally distracting, I was convinced it was entirely on purpose but I didn’t move away, not even when my cheeks flushed when I remembered how I’d grabbed that erection with my hands.

Good thing the doors opened into the largest throne room I’d ever imagined and the next few minutes were spent distracted from dragon erections and looking around with wide eyes at the sheer scale of the garish decoration instead. More marble like flooring swept the length of the room all the way to the stone steps that led up the gold throne placed a good six feet above where we now stood before it, blatantly situated so that perv-dad could stretch arrogantly above and look down upon us measly peasants.

My throne would be floor level. And have cushions. Those fancy satin ones. And I’d bedazzle the shit out of them.

I glittered irritably, catching the scornful eye of the elf king as he splayed himself across the throne as if he were posing for playgirl.

“Where’s Red?” Serena’s harsh voice snapped me out of the staring competition that I was totally winning against perv-dad.

He smiled at her, totally leering, and I was about one more swiping glance across her chest from trying my hardest to glitter-poof him. Cat seemed equally annoyed, and I noticed Serena had a tight hold on her kitty’s wrist that had turned the skin around her fingers blanching to white.

“Feisty little thing aren’t you?” He crooned, dismissing the fact that Serena was now full witch and more than capable of lighting his shit on fire. Heck I’m pretty sure she’d do that anyway, just as soon as Lily made an appearance.

Serena almost vibrated with anger, clenching down on Cat’s wrist in her fist.

I choked on my glitter and squeaked with outrage, but before I could fling myself up the steps and possibly scratch his eyes out with my finger nails, my dragon grabbed the waistband at the back of my trousers and I was made almost docile when he hauled me up enough that my legs were running in air and I was basically one giant wedgie.

Luckily, for all her weed-induced ravings, Grams totally had my back.

“That’s my Granddaughter, you impotent toad.” Her words were cutting though, to be honest, the boobs ruined the danger just a little. “Bring the witch forward now, or I’ll start mass murdering.” Electricity sizzled the tips of Grams’ fingers.

I absolutely loved that Grams bypassed all subtly and went straight for full scale destruction. “Could we maybe start with one and work our way up?” Because I kind of liked Sierra and hoped she’d at least escape Grams’ whims of murder.

She pouted. “Well...we could I suppose, but it’s been so long...”

I couldn’t help but smile at her, she was such a weirdly sweet homicidal maniac.

Thereon grunted and rolled his eyes. “No need, the girl is being escorted here.” He waved his hand in a show of little care. “Rooms have been made available, Sierra will escort you. I would like my daughter to attend a feast this evening and if she must be accompanied by the dragon then so be it.”

Said dragon blew smoke out of his mouth at the elf king, his muscles tensing from where he’d pressed himself against my back, and honestly, I was highly distracted by this and missed everything perv-dad was saying. So much so that Serena ended up answering for me.

“We’ll stay, you can talk to Hayley,” She hissed with narrowed eyes, ”nicely.”

Amusement flickered over Thereon’s face. “Of course,” he nodded in acknowledgement, “she can meet her siblings also.”

Siblings? I had siblings?

“How many siblings?” Serena asked cautiously.

Heck it was a good thing she thought to ask important questions because I was way more interested in the erection once again prodding at my back. Was it just always hard? Surely that’s uncomfortable? Maybe I could glitter-poof it and see if it goes down. Not explode it, that would be a crying shame, but just deflate it a little. Hmmm. I’ll have to ask Lucy later and see if he would mind. Then again the prodding thing was kind of nice.

“Fifteen or so.”

Serena screeched and it almost, almost, gained my attention.

“Fifteen?! What, elves don’t believe in birth control? Are they all as charming as you?”

The acid in her tone left no doubt to her sarcasm and if I was paying attention then I may have started panicking at the thought of having to meet so many relations but, you know, there was a penis on my back.

The elf king shrugged. “A relatively usual number for elven royalty.”

“They all have different mothers?” She replied.

Thereon nodded. “We do not mate as some species do, we are much more free with our affections.”

She snorted. “That’s one way to put it.”

Grams piped up, electricity still flickering. “I could move here.”

“Fuck, Grams, you still have enough witches to go through don’t start on the elves just yet.”

Grams pursed her lips. “I could get an elf harem,” she looked around at the throne room then back to Thereon, “you’re not too attached to this castle are you?” She turned her attention back to Serena, “I’d move for a castle ”

My fire-witch rubbed her eyes and groaned. “You can’t take his castle, Grams.”

The old witch shook her head, entirely serious. “I disagree, Pea.”

Delaying any further discussion, the large doors slammed open, a harried redhead in a tiny shift dress, much like the one Sierra and her harem sisters wore, came stumbling into the throne room, trailed by two tall and lithe elven males, her hair a riot of waves that looked as if it had gone to war with static electricity and came out somewhere beyond total annihilation. Her feet made a mad dash toward me, tiny slippers slapping against the shiny floor, tripping inelegantly a few feet before my dangling legs still held off the floor by a dragon hand, and splatting to the ground with an ‘ooof’ and an impressive slide that closed all but a few inches of remaining distance.

“Eh, I’ll give that a seven, Red, your landing was alright but the slide was a tad short,” Serena needled from my right.

Lily blew a chunk of hair up to waft away from her cheek but considering most of it was mashed to the floor it didn’t do much to make her visible. “I think I broke my face,” she groaned.

I poofed a cloud of pink glitter at her just because it made everything better and pointed Lucy towards the witch on the floor in the hope that he’d at least get her upright. He grunted as he finally set me on my feet again and I got a pat, pat, pat as he left me to grab Lily by the back of the dress and haul her up so quickly he almost sent her flying again.

Being the friendly neighbourhood witch that I was, I decide to introduce myself to the two icy blond elves, plastering a wide smile on my face and accidentally releasing a flourish of silver glitter as I extended my hand in greeting. “Hi, I’m Hayley,” I pressed forward and found myself between the two, looking up and getting almost as much of a crick in my neck as I did with Lucian.

The first one with grey eyes slid his eyes to me, his thin lips barely quirking enough to call it a smile. “Amos,” he nodded.

The second was a whole bunch brighter, his clear blue gaze twinkling when he smiled. “Taran.” He gave a gallant bow and I giggled when he winked.

Upon said giggling, four things became apparent.

First; my dragon didn’t seem to like me giggling at elves, considering how far he threw them across the throne room on a roar and cloud of smoke.

Second; perv-dad may end up imprisoning my familiar, considering the narrowed eyed glare he was currently sending me.

Third; apparently my glitter didn’t know when glittering was appropriate, considering the fact that it bloomed into multicolored plumes that vibrated excitedly at the show of strength and possesiveness from the dragon.

And fourth; I was going to have to have ninja-sex with an invisible elf if I wanted to lose my v-card before my familiar ate my date.

I snuck a side-eye at Grams, currently replumping her boobs, as Lucian prowled behind me puffing up his chest seemingly proud as punch at his throwing arm.

If she wants to be my sex teacher then she can damn well keep the dragon occupied while I actually get some sex.

Pat, pat, pat.

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