Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if you never existed? If you had just been a miscarriage or never even been placed in your mothers’ stomach in the firstplace?
I think about all the people I failed and screwed up over the years. All the children I traumatized from killing a beloved family member. I even think about the people I’ve murdered. How would their lives have turned out if I never got to them? Would they be sitting with their children, or grandchildren right now? Reading them a bedtime story or whatever the fuck families are supposed to do for you.
Then I let my thoughts turn a little selfish and think about what would’ve happened if my mom and dad hadn’t fucked me up as bad as they did. Would I be happy with my mate right now, crowned as Luna and trying for a pup? Maybe even my dad would’ve walked me down the aisle the day of my wedding.
That’s all I can think about as I sit in this darkness in silence. I think about how much of a failure I am... a disappointment.
It’s funny how life turns out. I killed people. I watched as their lives slipped away for a living and now, I can’t even tell if mine is slipping or gone. Is this my own personal hell? Doomed to spend eternity in the dark alone with nothing but my thoughts to drive me insane? Though, let’s just admit, I’ve always been a little crazy.
The punishment is quiet fair. Instead of being stuck with my guilty thoughts for just a couple hours at night when I’m alone and can’t sleep, I’ll spend eternity in darkness, never sleeping. Just thinking. Stuck with these thoughts forever.
Or maybe, I won’t even get the punishment I deserve. Me being a demon warrior and all, I’ll probably spend a little while here until dear old grand pop comes to the rescue and I’m forced to kill some more. It’s in the genes after all.
It had been almost an hour when a deep intake of air was heard from Celeste. It had startled Cal and I while Zeke was as calm as can be. I shot up from my chair instantly and caught her as her body began to fall sideways out of the chair. While Jacks body just fell back unconscious, Celeste’s took a different turn and started convulsing.
“Get the doctor!” I yelled at Cal who was then stopped before he could move even an inch. “You get a doctor and you condemn your mate and mygranddaughterto a life of hiding from the Royals. You’d never see her again.” Zeke threatens. “Do you want that to happen,Roman?”
“No, sir.” I bite out harshly. “Then be a good mutt, shut up and do as I say.” He says calmly before bending down in front of a shaking Celeste. “Judging by the convulsions, this is maybe her third time doing this. Her body still hasn’t adjusted to what happens. Her brain waves probably got jumbled up and blocked because she hasn’t learned the proper way to leave and re-enter her body.”
He says quietly while taking her pulse and adjusting her head. “All we need to do is lay her down on her side and keep her head facing the wall. During a typical seizure vomit or a white substance will come up so we can’t have her head titled back, or she could choke.” He gently pulls her from my arms, but not without slapping my hands away when I try to grab her back. Laying her on the floor, he faces her head towards the entrance wall while telling Cal not to let any doctors in.
“If the seizure lasts longer than five minutes, then, andonlythen, can you go out and call a doctor in. Only the most trustworthy one who won’t rat us out. You’ll need to tell him his Luna is having a seizure and needs something to stop it.”
“Why after five minutes? Why not now?” I look down worriedly at Celeste’s shaking form, her fists and jaw clenched tight as blood trickles from the corner of her mouth and the pads of her hands. “Because, after five minutes the brain will begin to shut down from lack of oxygen. If she comes out of the seizure before then, she’ll be fine.”
“What about the blood? Is something wrong with her?” He looks to where I’m pointing at her face and hands and chuckles lightly. “Calm down my dear boy. Her nails just broke the skin on her hands from clenching her fists too tight. And as for the bleeding from her mouth, she’s probably just biting her tongue. She’ll be fine.”
“How long has it been now?” I ask unsure of the answer I’ll receive. “Only two. I doubt it’ll last much longer.” He reassures me while clearing Celeste’s hair out of the way of her mouth. “She’ll vomit before she comes out of it.” He says when he sees my curious gaze.
After what seemed like hours of thinking, the darkness started to clear, and voices echoed through my head. “What’s happening?” It was faint and distorted, but I still recognized it as Austin’s. Soon the warmth I usually felt whenever he’s around began to spread through me, pushing away the cold and bitter demons that lay waiting for me in the dark recesses of my mind. Then came a new voice that I hardly know, Zeke’s. “She’s waking up.”
My eyes fluttered open only to be welcomed by bright lights and foggy vision. I hiss quietly, fighting pass the pain and sit up. The taste of vomit and blood becoming prominent in my mouth as I try to swallow the lump in my throat. “What happened?” I lisp lightly. Noting the swelling building on the sides and the blood still coming from it, I stand up and head for the mirror in the bathroom. “And what the fuck happened to my tongue?” I call out as best as I can.
Walking back into the room, I’m greeted by my mate, my two best friends, one being unconscious in a hospital bed, a pile of puke, and amidst it all, my grandfather. The one and only, Zeke Masters.
“Somebody better start explaining before I start hitting.” Two loud gulps are heard throughout the room before I turn towards my bright-eyed grandfather who’s wearing his million-dollar smile. This is going to be a long night.