One moment she will be kissing me and telling me she loves me but then the next she will be cold and closed off. She is so confusing. Recently though she has been more closed off than before. Every time I see her all I see is guilt in her eyes. Why would she need to feel guilty? I am the one who left, I am the one who hurt her. There is no reason for her to feel guilty.
I run my hands through my hair as I walk down the dark hallway, Adele had retired to her room hours ago and now I am left wondering the halls like every night. I have nothing to do, no paperwork, no treaties to sign. No people to kill. No wars to fight. Time right now is boring for me, these are the years that I question why I didn’t end this existence years ago. Give nature what she wants and just finally die. It’s been long enough, I have seen so much, this world has given me everything it has to offer. I could end it now, leaving everyone on this rock. Leaving Adele to have a normal life. To fall in love with someone she wants to and not be forced into love because of a bond decided for her long before she was even born. Did the old Gods have this plan for this to happen to me? Did they know I would be the first of my kind? Is that what they had planned for my life? Was I supposed to grow old and have children?
“Nick?” I turn to face Micah who stands in the darkness, his eyes shift side to side to see if I am with anyone. I see his entire body relax when he notices I am alone sighing softly. He actually looked like he had fear in his eyes. Why would he be afraid?
“Evening brother, whats got you wondering this late at night?” He sighs running his hands through his hair leaning against the stone pillar.
“Adele has asked me to watch the halls while she sleeps.” My eyes widen slightly and I feel anger start to build up from my chest. How is she able to control people like that? Micah has always had a tough exterior, nobody was able to make him do anything. How can she do that so easily?
“I never thought of you as someone to fall off his high horse so quickly. In a matter of weeks, Adele was able to make you look like a submissive dog.” I see his eyes narrow slightly and he takes a step towards me clearly offended by my words. Good, make him angry, I need some reaction out of him. Something other than being a good soldier for Adele’s every waking request.
“You have no idea what you are talking about Nicholas. You don’t know why I am doing what I am and what I had to do in your absence.” I feel my chest tighten as I feel the pain through him, he is angry. Angry at me and I understand the reason why. My absence didn’t just affect Adele, it affected everyone who was left behind.
“Then tell me, Micah, because I came back here and nothing is the same anymore.” His eyes widen in shock as he hears my words. I’m honestly confused about why so much changed and how. I was only gone for less than a month. How did so much change?
“You really ask me this? Are you that oblivious to our current situation?” I deserve that. I did do the same to him. “You left her alone, you rejected her. She had nothing to live for, nobody to keep her alive. You were everything to her and you left her. Someone had to be there for her, to make her feel wanted. To keep her alive. She needed me and in return I needed her. I had done horrible things to her, we all have, I think she deserves after all of this a little bit of leniency when it comes to her actions.” I close my eyes feeling like an asshole again, what he is saying is true. Adele was left alone with all this confusion and anger and I just made it worse. I focused so much on trying to make her the girl I knew before all of this that I didn’t realize the damage I did to her needed to be nurtured and fixed over time. I just wanted to fix her immediately, what I did to her can’t be fixed immediately.
“Shit.” I hear a chuckle leave Micah’s mouth as I run my hands through my hair. I have been alive for thousands of years you think I would be smarter than this. I honestly think I was dropped on my head as a child. There’s no other reason why I would be this stupid all the time.
“You finally see it? Took you long enough Nicholas. That girl is going to take a long time to heal. She is confused and angry all the time. Her powers and her feelings are telling her opposite things constantly. There’s no way a person can stay sane through that. You just have to wait for her Nick. Give her as much time as she needs to heal. You can’t force someone to fix themselves they will only do the opposite out of anger. ” I run my hands through my hair looking out into the darkness, I’m honestly a horrible person, I think of nothing other than my own needs. I forget that my actions can hurt people. I just focus on the pain others have caused me.
“Then I am just going to have to sit here and watch and wait as she harms others?” He sighs shaking his head, how did my little brother get to be so smart? He seems to know more about life than I do. After all these years of living, I thought I would have been smarter than this.
“No, she knows deep down that her actions against Ken and other people were wrong. She will realize it one day but for the time being try to keep her out of those situations. She doesn’t have much self-control left and those kinds of situations will drive her to unspeakable things. Keep her close but don’t smother her because she will push away.” I nod running my hand through my hair, I would do anything to keep Adele happy. To get her back to the girl I met, if this is the way to do it then I will do it.