I had been expecting it but it shocked me to my core. I knew somewhere in his mind that he had some kind twisted adaptation of me. He imagined me to be someone that I definitely was not.
Someone that I didn't want to be.
I didn't see myself falling in love...at least not so easily. Vincent had told me that I liked to close myself up to everyone around me when I felt as though feelings were getting involved.
It wasn't intentional but it was a natural instinct now. I had been hurt badly in the past and my mind refused to allow someone else to do it to me again. Sometimes it was a blessing in disguise but sometimes it was a curse I longed to be free from. I had dodged some major bullets by being the way I am but I also wondered what if I had missed out on someone special. But was that really something that I was ready for? Did I really want to put myself out there again? Could I really open my heart up for everyone to see?
I knew for a fact that both my body and mind agreed wholeheartedly that Liam was not the one for me. They both knew exactly who they wanted. We just used him to get over him. I couldn't bear to speak his name but just the thought of him sent shocks to my core.
Liam and I had been back here in Palmyra for about a week or so. Not once had he tried to contact me in any way. I didn't see him when I went back to work at the cafe. He didn't show up to my house anymore. He didn't text or call. Nothing. I couldn't deny that I missed him terribly. It felt as if I had a constant ache buried deep inside my chest that wouldn't go away. But I had betrayed him in the worst way, knowing that he was watching over me in Miami. I knew that after I had saw him on the beach out on the balcony, that he had left. I didn't feel the overwhelming sense of protection that I always felt when he was near. Having that sense of protection suddenly taken away from me felt like someone had stolen my personal sunshine.
I needed to stop fooling myself. I wanted him back. The thought of being with a werewolf was scary, frightening even but I knew that Kyros was different from Vincent. At least that's what my body was telling me. He made me feel protected and safe, even when I shoved him away. There was something between us, probably having to do with the mates thing but even then, I still wanted him. I knew that I wasn't going to fall in love with him immediately but I wanted to take a risk. That risk would either make or break me but for some reason, I was willing to take that leap.
I just wanted to be happy again.
Finally admitting that to myself, almost felt like taking away a dark cloud that had been hovering over me. I hadn't been truly happy for years now. Not happy with myself and not happy with where my life was going. I had hoped that this move to a new and quiet city would do just that and I knew I didn't want to destroy that. Life dealt me a pair of cards that required me to work in order to win. And I was going to be damned if I lost this now.
I'm not sure how I could track him down but I was fueled with a sense of determination. I could only hope that he would find it in his heart to forgive me. I wanted to start fresh with him, forgetting all of the negatives of the past. I wanted to give him my heart and hope that he didn't crush it. I don't know if I could survive any more heartache in my life.
A movement in my face, startled me out of the ever relenting thoughts. Shit, I had forgotten that Liam had literally just confessed his fucking love for me. I was honestly lost for words. I opened my mouth open and shut before letting out a long sigh. He moved back a bit, his blue eyes searching mine for some kind of hint.
I broke eye contact with him, looking anywhere but to his eyes. They were too penetrating to look at while I was trying to figure out how to let him down gently.
My eyes settled on the top of his head before I left out another soft sigh. "Liam..."
The words that I needed to say refused to come to me, but they had to be known. No matter what.
I brushed a strand out hair out of my face before speaking again. "Listen, these past couple of weeks with you have been great. Trust me...I just, I just don't feel the same as you." I started, making sure that I refused to make eye contact. I knew that if I looked into his eyes, it would only make it harder for the both of us.
He blinked once. Twice.
He held his eyes closed for a moment before letting out a sigh of his own. I could see that pesky vein on his forehead appear again, but he made no move to try and soothe it. He moved back and stood up, still hovering over me.
"Okay." Came his short reply.
I sat up and tilted my head to the side like a lost puppy, "What do you mean okay? Is that all you have to say?"
He was on his way towards the door before he turned back to me. His face was stoic and there was no hint of emotion anywhere to be found. He let out another sigh before speaking again.
"You're not the only one running from their demons, Evathia." With those lasting words, he finally walked out the door.
I'm not sure how long I laid there. There was still a lingering smell of vomit that wafted from me but that wasn't a pressing concern of mine at the moment. My mind was racing with only one thought, and that was to get my mate back. I stiffened softly. Acknowledging that to myself felt as if someone had administered a slight shock to me.
Kyros was my mate. I shook my head, the words still sounding foreign to me. This...creature that isn't supposed to be real, is my soulmate. I guess the universe thought that I'd never find love on my own so it forced one on me. Anyone else in my situation would be freaking out, I have no qualms about that. But for me, all of this coming together, allowed a certain, peace to come over me. It was like something in the universe had finally clicked and erased the anguish and pain that anchored itself to my heart. Granted, it was still there but the amount had gone down tremendously.
The slam of the front door jolted me from my swirling thoughts. Was he actually gone? I had never formally "broken up" with someone before and I didn't know if it was supposed to be that easy? Not even 5 minutes ago, he was confessing his love for me and now, he was gone. What kind of shit was that? But I had no right to be upset. I led him on. Plain and simple. I used him like a napkin and once I got it dirty, I threw him away. I felt bad, truly but I think the universe sent him in my life to realize that he wasn't what I wanted.
This all felt like some kind badly written reality show. Starring me as the main character.
I slowly got up from the bed with slow calculated movements. My head felt clouded and my stomach still churned as if it wanted to expel more from its grasp. I slowly made my way to the living room that looked like no one had ever steeped foot in it. It was crisp and clean, with my vomit from earlier missing. The fact that he had taken his time to clean up baffled me but I didn't let it dwell in my mind. I was on a mission and such trivial things would only slow me down.
I glanced around my small abode and breathed a sigh of relief when my eyes landed on my cell phone, perched on the the kitchen counter. I almost dove for it, eager to put my plan into action. My fingers shakily powered on the device, barely containing my anxiety with how long the boot up screen was taking. Once the phone powered on, I was greeted with a barrage of texts and missed calls. Calls and texts from Leah, my mom, Drew, my dad, a couple of friends of mine, and even one from Vincent. I dismissed all of them and opened up my contacts list, scrolling down to the only name I wanted to see.
My finger hesitated over his name. The fact that he didn't maintain any contact with me after he left Miami was sickening to me. It was like he completely vanished. But he had a good reason for it, I destroyed him. A sharp pang resonated from my heart. I took advantage of his trust, his care, his everything because of my own selfishness. He was only capable of handling so much and I pushed him to his breaking point. He'd had enough of my torture and finally let me go, like I thought I wanted.
Would he even answer if I called? Maybe I should text?
I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and gnawed on it gently. If I was in his position, I'd not want anything to do with me. But maybe he wasn't that cruel. All I needed was a second chance. I pressed his name and pressed the phone tightly to my ear. The dial tone was loud and obtrusive, blaring its continuous one note. Over and over and over. I'm not sure how long I listened to that tone before my ears were caressed with a sound that made my toes curl and moisture to pool between my legs.
Hey, it's Kyros. Sorry I missed your call, leave a message and I'll get back with you.
I could feel my knees go weak at the sound of his husky voice. Even when he wasn't meaning it to be, it came out rough and harsh but I loved it. It felt as if he was caressing me with his voice. Before I could even blink, a sharp beep sounded in my ear, letting me know that it wanted me to leave a voicemail. I was so caught up in his voice, that I forgot I was calling him.
A long silence ensued as I thought about what to say before realizing this was timed. I cleared my throat before speaking. "Um..hey. I'm probably the last person you want to hear from but um..I just wanted to say that I was sorry and I appreciate everything you did for me in Miami. I haven't heard from you in a while and wanted to know if you're okay? Um- yeah. Give me a call when you can. Bye."
I pressed the end button on my phone and let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Determined, I tried again. With the same results. I called back and left a message about 3 times before giving up and putting my phone down. I covered my mouth as a sob unexpectedly made its way up my throat. I tried my hardest to smother it, a feat that proved to be much more difficult than I anticipated. I had never been much of a crier. I was more of someone who loaded everything on and had a big break down when everything became too much. But I knew that I couldn't give up on this.
This meant too much to me. If I was going to put my heart out on the line, I'd have to jump through some hoops to get there.
Picking up my phone again, I scrolled down to a name that had to know something about Kyros' whereabouts. The phone rang..once..twice before being picked up by a familiar voice.
"Eva, what a pleasure. Is everything alright? I texted and called you a couple of times but I didn't hear back from you." She spoke through the receiver, almost sounding slightly breathy.
"I'm sorry about that. I've just been really caught up. I had a question for you though. Have you seen or spoke to Kyros? I haven't been able to get in contact with him since I've come back. It's urgent."
A long pause ensued after I had spoken my question into existence. I moved the phone from my ear to glance at the screen to make sure I didn't accidentally hang up. The seconds of the call continued to tick by quickly, confirming that the call was still going.
"Hello? Leah? Did you hear me?" I spoke again, louder in case she didn't hear me the first time.
Suddenly, there was a bit of shuffling and then a loud slam of a door. "I heard you. But I can't speak much on the matter. Just know that Kyros got your message loud and clear and he won't be a bother to you anymore." Leah's voice was low and short, almost bordering on the line of sounded pissed off. What could she possibly be mad about?
I opened my mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted by her. "I can't answer your questions. I'm sorry but it's none of my business. Whatever happened is between you and him. I need you in to the café in two days at 9. I'll see you then Eva."
I didn't get to say anything more to her as the line went completely dead. I took the phone away from my ear and stared at the screen in confusion and shock. How did she know about Kyros and I? Was he going around telling all of our business? No, it couldn't be, he seemed like such a private person to do something like that.
I was hoping to get answers from her but I was just left even more confused than before.