"I hate you."
These three words consume me like a fierce storm, filling me with an indescribable agony. And yet, I feel a sense of warmth in the very same note.
Three words that hold far more truth and sincerity than I have ever known in my life.
Deceptively short was the great suffering that I felt, a burning flash of both body and mind. Once the passing pains washed over I was left with an aching numbness that consumed me.
This feeling has not passed, and I fear it never will. The emptiness is exponentially worse than any pain I could imagine.
My mind hung in waiting, aloft in the throbbing void, for what felt to be an eternity. All the while on the verge of collapsing to further darkness. The ever-growing deep that is and will continue to be pulling at me. Offering promise of rest from the nothing.
But, for reasons beyond my understanding, I refuse the deep of it's claim on me.
Almost all at once, miniscule in scale to the void before, sensations filled me. The deep drained away, causing a moment of misplaced dread as for only a moment I felt more alone as the void compounded, and then I, too, fell after it.
It was like falling from a great height, except the turbulent beating that I took was all encompassing. Wailing on my descent from all sides. Tearing into me with different sensations and feelings.
Images of blank faces washing over my memories.
Tumbling freely, a sensation that dragged on forever and ended in but a moment, the last sensation that invaded my being was one of great desire. A strong, unwavering craving for life. Personified by a single, glowering eye of flaming violet that bore through all of me. Ever present, never moving, I could not ignore it.
The eye sundered my identity and left me bare and naked.
"I hate you."