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Fallen Trilogy Part 1: The Story of The Commander

By Ana Chirila All Rights Reserved ©

Horror / Fantasy

Introduction

There was once a man among many men;

Was it in the Middle Age or was it long before,

When he appeared before the priest, bleeding from his eyes

And on his hands were written words of doom.

“Once every 50 years, a special child shall be born in the Middle World.

He shall be able to see evil but bow his head in front of it.

The rule he has to obey is only one: never interfere.

He shall watch and regret; he shall wait, knowing that the darkness shall rise again.

He shall be freed only when the Darker Side of the Moon will face the Middle World.”

Ever since, every child born at every 50 years on a full moon has been killed. However, throughout time, that story became insignificant and the world forgot it ever existed.

In the 21st Century, one child has been born under the light of the full moon; one special child whose path in life has already been settled.


“Mommy, why is the sky so dark?” asked a six year old Zoe Lestrade, hiding behind her mother in fear. Her mother looked at her daughter questioningly.

“What do you mean Zoe? It’s bright outside. There’s not even one cloud in the sky.”

The girl frowned and tightened her grip on her mother’s hand. Zoe could see it even if her mother couldn’t; the sky was grey and dark mist was flying around.

A woman walked towards them and hugged her mother. They seemed close. The older woman leaned towards Zoe and patted her head.

“You’re such a cute little girl, aren’t you?” The woman smiled, but Zoe was too preoccupied with the woman behind her mother’s acquaintance. Her eyes were black and her hair was white. She was really pale and didn’t look friendly at all.

The peculiar person noticed the young girl staring at her and cracked a weird smile before disappearing.

“Come on, Zoe. Let’s go buy cake for your father’s birthday. Aunt Lucy will join us!”

The girl nodded. When she turned around she saw that pale woman again. She just appeared in front of her.

“You can see me. You can see the darkness, can’t you?”

Being only a child, Zoe screamed and grabbed onto her mother’s leg.

“Zoe, what’s going on? Why are you crying?”

She was grabbing the attention of the whole street. Zoe couldn’t stop trembling and her face was stained with tears. The pale woman cocked her head to the side, scaring the child even more. Her wide smile looked sick, like she had been petrified with that expression before she died.

“Shh. This is a secret. Even if you tell her, she won’t believe you.”

The child only cried more.

From that moment forward, the darkness around Zoe Lestrade intensified and became like a veil, covering her from the rest of the world.

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ernbelle: When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...

Ben Gauger: Kudos go to the author of ''Equinox: Into the Clouds'' for originality in character development as well as scene execution and in addition plot development, A truly original story if I do say so myself, though the spelling in and of itself could use a little work, but other than that a truly orig...

Sandra Leigh: excellent story. Lots of classic fairy tale elements with a fresh spin. Very much looking forward to the sequel. However, there are a number of typos and minor awkward sentences. I occasionally work for my publisher as an editor and would not mind editing this for you. Feel free to contact m...

Usagi Kita: This story is emotional from beginning to end. You get to watch the characters struggle and grow, maturing in different ways so that they come to be the people they are meant to be. Inea is insanely adorable, and his antics made me laugh more than once, and Kaedon is perfect for him in so many wa...

Schaelz: I was intrigued from the second I started reading, and it kept my interest the whole way through. Chelsea has a way with words that will enchant you until the very end. She is very poetic with the way she mixes genres and keeps you on the edge of your seat. The main character is also very relat...

: This story was gripping and very professionally written. With lots of twists and slight of hand tricks, the author deceives the reader until finally showing their cards at the end. With several subplots all intertwining to create the main plot, this really is an interesting and engaging read.

Elizabeth Robbins: 4.5 starsAs far as apocalypse stories go, this one took a new direction. I'm glad someone finally addressed the need for a vampire apocalypse! This is sort of a multi-genre festival of delights. With hints of forced societies, vamps, hunters, romance, apocalypse, government conspiracy, and thrill...

Steve Lang: I thought this story was imaginative, and well thought out. I also think it was an original piece, and not a rehash of previous scifi stories I've read in the past.Thank you for the effort put into this tale, and I look forward to reading more of your work!

europeanlove: I gotta hand it to you. I love reading. I read books everyday. When the book is good I can read it in probably 13 hours. Your story was amazing. Great prose, very imaginative. Incredible dialogue. I am deeply impressed. Keep it up.

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Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...

: The book was hella great. You never know what's going to happen next. There's a lot of clues that shows to the next scene. I thought Miley and David would marry each other in this book but too my disappointment, they didn't. I have a ques. Will there be a part two to this book?

Felisa Yoder Osburn: I really enjoyed the story. Civil War stories are some of my favorites and the intertwining of the past with current times was wonderful. I look forward to reading the next stories.

Hudson: Your story was fantastic Erin! The Rising Sun was one of the first stories I read on Inkitt, and I have to say I don't regret the three to four days I spent pouring through the story.Probably the biggest strength I see in your writing is your characterisation of Eliana, Oriens, and the rest of th...

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