~ 9 ~
I used to believe that my life will get easier once I learn what my curse is. My assumption was proven wrong when I looked at my mate dead in the eye and she did not feel our bond. In fact, she looked at me expecting me to slit her throat.
Ironically, my fear that one of the things that are meant to grant me happiness ending up being my curse has became a reality. I did not realize that this fear will somehow turn into terror of what the future has in store for me. I try to overlook it, or contain it but I feel absolutely terrified of how this will change everything.
The curse is all I thought about in the last five years, but for some reason I never even considered that my own mate will turn out to be the thing I feared.
I destroyed my parents’ living room, dining room, gym, and my father’s office as I recalled the way she pulled away from my touch. I could not get the confused looks she gave me out of my head. Amoux could not even feel her wolf. Thus, he let out a whimper and hid in the deepest corner of my mind. His pain was excruciating compared to my own.
At first I was heartbroken that my hope did actually backfire just like I knew it would. However, it did not take long for my heartache to turn into fury.
Never in my life have I held a grudge against anyone or anything. I do not get mad; I only get even. Sadly, in this situation I cannot do that. I cannot get even with Shadow because I know that she is not to blame for the curse. Furthermore, she did not ask to have me as her mate; the notorious alpha who everyone fears and hates. Also, she definitely did not ask to live her life as if she is mate less because of something I did. She is just a pawn in the Amazonians’ plan to make me suffer.
Eventually, Josh came into my father’s office and attempted to calm me down. All he succeeded in doing, however, is make me drop on my knees and cry as if my life depended on it. I let my tears consume me for countless hours as Josh kneeled beside me assuring me that I am not alone.
When my tears dried out, I described to Josh how perfect my mate is. I mentioned every detail; her captivating green eyes that can take all my suffering away, her full pink lips that can make me content when they smile, her small nose that I am certain can make my entire body shiver if it would touch my neck, and her beautiful long platinum hair that shines as beautifully as the starts in the night sky. I could not overlook her piercings; a black circular barbell with dice attachment on the left side of her lip and a black star nose screw also on the left side of her nose. I could also detect a few tattoos but I did not have the chance to analyze any of their shapes.
Thinking about all these things make me both ecstatic and sorrowful. I can tell based on her personal style choices that she is not an ordinary she-wolf. Knowing that she is unaware that she is mine almost shatters countless parts of soul. But, I refuse to give up and accept this curse; I am going to fight it with everything I have. If not for myself, then for my pack; they deserve to have a luna, and I am not going to be the reason they are deprived of that.
I am going to find a way to fix everything. After all, I have many people who will stand behind me and help me every step of the way. God knows I need it; this chaos cannot get any more complicated.