~ 10 ~
Despite everything, today is the best day of my life. Because I saw little signs that proved that even though Shadow does not feel our mating bond, it is still there. And for now, that will have to do; because there is hope.
She giggled when I got angry, she is not afraid of me. Ever since I was a kid, I have been told that my anger issues will scare those around me. After all, I do lose all my sense of reality when I get mad. And even though everyone tries to pretend that they do not fear me when it happens, I know they do. Shadow, however, truly does not feel intimidated by that side of me. Sadly, that was not enough to Amoux since I still could not feel him.
He did, however, howl happily in my head when she declared that she will come up with a nickname for us. It is senseless and I should not think too much about it. But I am looking at it as the first step to get close to her and to get to know her.
I sat by my window for almost an hour listening to her heartbeat in the room next to mine. I could not sleep, not while knowing that she was this close to me, and I still could not hold her or mark her. So, when her breathing became even and her heartbeat became steady, I made the irrational decision to go and see her.
I tiptoed like a thief in my own house as I snuck into her room. I growled lowly when I saw her sleeping in the clothes I had Chance put in the bathroom for her a few minutes before I walked her to the room. I could feel Amoux fight for control to mark her at the sight of her wearing one of my shirts. I could also see that she was not wearing my boxer seeing that it was folded on the nightstand. I slowly walked towards her and I sat at the side of the bed to get a closer look at her angelic face.
Even though Amoux and I fought for control the entire time, we still enjoyed every second of watching our mate sleep peacefully and safely in our territory. She did not make it any easier when she moaned in her sleep. Still, I cherished the feeling of seeing her tranquil because I have a feeling that tomorrow will be the beginning of a long series of bad and challenging days.
Part of me, definitely Amoux, yearned to hide her in this room to make sure no one hurts her. But she is an adult who is capable of making her own decisions. My job is to love and protect her, not control her.
As a kid, I used to draw mental pictures of how I believed my mate will look like, how she will act, what will her flaws be. Now, going back to all these thoughts I realized that she is a lot better than how I imagined her to be even though she is a little weird.