~ 16 ~
Ever since I met Shadow I knew if Amoux took control, he would do or say something he should not. I just never thought I would feel glad for it. I feel light; like the words Amoux said set a part of me free. I am liberated from figuring out how I am going to explain everything to her.
I tried to fight him for as long as I could, but Shadow pushed him too far. Seeing her having a panic attack made me acknowledge how I was scared of how she would react; whether she would accept me or not, and whether she believed me or not. I realized that I had been holding my breath because of that secret.
Surely, it is not how I wanted her to find out. For starters, I wanted to be the one to tell her, not my wolf. I wanted her to see my pain and my honesty as I told her that she is basically stuck with me until we die.
Nevertheless, I cannot say I am not satisfied with how it went. She, in a way, accepted me. I know she did not say the words, but I would like to think that what happened implies that she chose to give me a chance which is more than I thought I would have. She accepted my words, and she accepted my touch; at least she did not reject them. She may have hugged me, but I was the one who kissed her. It was the best first kiss I could ever hope for; it was indescribable compared to how I imagined it would be. Granted, Shadow is my first kiss, so I literally had no idea how it would feel like.
As our lips moved together, I found myself thanking my mother for raising me the way she did. She always told me that my mate should be my first kiss, love, and touch. I do not regret listening to her, and I am happy that I am my mate’s first kiss as well. Just like me, she basically did not know what she was doing. Both Amoux and I are content about that, but even if we were not her first kiss, we would still be happy. After all, she is free to do with her body whatever she wants.
I cannot stop myself from thinking about how magical the kiss was; it is a memory I imprinted in my mind so vividly; I will cherish it to the rest of my days…
After our kiss I could not bring myself to let her go, I wanted to hold her against my chest for as long as possible before we had to return to the bitter reality.
“You know caging me is not going to stop me from talking to Joshua about that border spell.” She told me teasingly as her hand landed on my chest. I growled at her with a small smile on my face.
“You know this pack already has a border locking it in, it does not need another one.” One of my hands stroked her platinum hair.
“Oh, I am sure they would not mind this one. Especially when they learn their alpha is the one who put it.”
“I will not be able to talk you out of this, will I?” She pulled away from me and put her legs around my waist causing Amoux to growl painfully and contently.
“No you will not.” Her smile made my heart skip a beat. I never thought I would be in this position with Shadow. I believe that this is what made the moment all the more special; it was spontaneous.
When she untangled her body from mine, I let out a whimper. Shadow just rolled her eyes at me, gave me a salute, and ran out of the door. I cannot even find it in myself to move from the spot where we kissed. I am an alpha who is pathetically sitting on the floor writing in his dairy about his mate who just found about the mate bond. Writing it makes me feel more idiotic than usual. Still, I do not seem to mind, because tonight can be the beginning of my happy ending. I hope in the future I will be able to look back and say: ‘it all started with my lips covering hers.’