Moonlight Rock. A place I haven’t laid eyes on since the very first time I shifted. Normally I shift on my own during a full moon or when the pack was in heat. Tonight, I was drawn here like I was somehow hypnotized. I wasn’t necessarily thrilled about being here, but whatever it was, it was telling me this was where I needed to be when I shifted tonight.
I stepped out onto the edge of the rock as the beautiful blue moonlight kissed my skin. The anticipation was killing me, but nothing was happening. The one thing I feared most has happened and it was only a matter of time before I would fall from my position.
I begged the Moon Goddess to give me back my wolf, I needed her back. I wasn’t me without her. And that’s why my pack was trying to talk me into stepping down as Alpha but I wasn’t having it. They blame it on being lonely and unmated, but as a mated female Alpha in my tribe would mean allowing my mate to become Alpha and I didn’t want that.
I got my position by heritage and by proving myself to be a strong she-Wolf. My pack, my tribe? Once the dominant she-Wolf became mated and started having pups, she would then need to become submissive to her mate, giving up her dominance to be the mother wolf she needed to be; that’s not what I wanted. If I couldn’t be a mate, a mother and the dominant Alpha I was born to be, then I didn’t want everything else. But if I had to find my mate, then I needed my wolf; it was the only way.
I begin to kneel, to beg my Moon Goddess for my wolf. She was all I had left of my mother and shifting was the only way to feel close to her again. In spirit, she would be by me as I run through the forest, feeling the brisk night air through my silky black fur.
“I’m here… again begging and pleading. I am nothing without my blessing, my beautiful wolf. I will do what I need if it means getting her back. I’ll find my mate if it’s the last thing I do. I just want my wolf back, please Moon Goddess.”
Just then, I could feel my bones shifting and the hair on my hands rising; silky black fur began to appear and tears formed in my eyes. I’d been given one last chance and I was going to do at least one thing to make this right; I was going to find my mate. But first, I’m going to enjoy my first run in two years through the woods and rest my head on this rock under my moon goddess until morning.
As I run through the beautiful green forest, I was taking in every scent: fresh pine, grass, flowers, the river and lavender field just across the edge of the rock. This was the happiest I’ve felt in a very long time and I was going to take it all in slowly and appreciate my surroundings. I could feel my human self crying the happiest of tears. I was back; Aeva and I were one again.
I finally made it to the lavender field and rolled around, feeling the grass and flowers brushing between the hairs of my fur. Nothing felt better than this, and I stood on all four laws and howled; god this feels amazing. I flopped down back into the flower shrubs and continued rolling around. And almost immediately I sensed another wolf’s presence. I got back on my paws, this time defensively and ready to attack if this wolf was here to harm me.
I let out a growl, warning the stranger to show himself or keep away. There was still nothing but silence, he was still there but silent. I could smell his scent and he was close, less than one hundred yards away, directly in front of me. The longer they took to acknowledge my command, the more defensive I got. My growl grew deeper as I showed my fangs in a threatening manner. Just then, the stranger emerged from behind a large tree. His fur was a mix of dark and light brown and his eyes were a mix of ocean blue and green.
He too was on the defensive and slowly inching closer to me. I stiffened my body with a growl to match, asserting my dominance to tell him I was the Alpha here and to my surprise; he didn’t obey. I moved my right paw forward letting him know if he were to come closer I would attack and make him submit by force. That didn’t seem to stop him and believe it or not, I was afraid. It’s been two years since I’ve been in wolf form and I’ve only ever fought for submission once; to say I was scared was an understatement and I think he knew.
“You’re no alpha, you’re afraid of me.” He growls.
“What makes you think I’m afraid of you? This is my pack, my land, and my home. I’ll protect it from all costs, especially from a Delta like you.”
“You’re as naive as you look.” He snarls and shakes his head, he would’ve been laughing straight to my face if we were in our human forms.
“Excuse me?” His coyness was rather annoying and I was growing tired of his games. I pressed my paw against the ground under me and swiftly kicked up dirt in a threatening manner.
“You’re weak, taking you down won’t be hard. But, would you submit to me if I pinned you?”
“I would never.”
Before I could pounce at him, he pounced me first and we rolled in the lavender shrubs; a place I held sacred to my soul was now a battlefield. I sink my teeth into his jugular and he let out a yelp and he swiped my face with his sharp claws, giving himself the upper hand. And before I knew it, I was pinned under him as he bore his teeth at me, and me at him. Was my moon goddess testing me this soon? Was I supposed to submit to him?
“Submit.” He growls at me again.
“NO!” I growled back bearing my teeth even wider.
“Trust me, you don’t want to fight me on this.”
I looked up as the moon was beginning to fade into the sun. The Delta noticed it too and leaned in closer, growling close to my muzzle. I wasn’t going to show him I was afraid, but if I was wearing my emotions on my face, I’d be fucked; so I growled back, never letting my dominance falter.
He let me go and I got back on all fours and watched him hobble away. It was time, we were all shifting back to our human forms and I was miles away from where I left my clothes. I was close to my home, but still far away enough that some of the townspeople would see me. It wasn’t like they didn’t know, but seeing me, their Alpha, in all her glory was unheard of.
I knew a sort of hidden way into town, that way no one would see me. It was a Monday morning which meant everyone would be out, heading to work and school; shit, the children! I really had to be careful so they out of everyone wouldn’t see me. I sprinted through to smaller parts of the woods behind the hill and finally made it home.
“Back so soon Veronica?” He spoke from behind my bedroom door.
“Milo, don’t start.”
“We still have a lot to discuss.”
“I shifted last night, Milo. Let it go.”
“You what?! Open the door V!”
“Go away, I’m- I don’t want to be bothered.”
I knew he wouldn’t let this go, but I had to tell him. Emilio, or Milo as I call him, is my Beta, and my best friend since we were in kindergarten. There was nothing we didn’t know about each other, and we never kept secrets. But as I stand here looking at myself in the mirror, I knew that I couldn’t keep this a secret. I had three claw marks under my right eye, and honestly, it was hurting worse than my first fight.
“Damn it V, if you don’t open the door I’ll knock it the fuck down.”
“Don’t speak to me in that tone.” I growled, trying to intimidate him.
“Don’t me give me that fake Alpha bullshit Veronica. You’re my best friend and I know when something is wrong.”
I walked over to the door, unlocked it and walked to my bed and rested myself under the covers as Milo sat in the chair next to the bed. There was an awkward silence for about five minutes. The thing about Milo was he never pried unless he knew something was wrong. Being my Beta, it was his job to make sure I was okay.
“Uh-huh, look at me V.”
“No.” I spouted from under the covers.
“Aeva!” He shouted in the most dominant voice he had. And surprisingly, it scared me. I’ve never heard him shout so loud, so deep. Maybe I was becoming weak if my Beta yelling at me made me fear him.
I looked out from under the covers to make eye contact with him. That wasn’t good enough for him; he knew something was wrong. Milo got up from his chair and walked over to me, hovering over me as he dared to make contact in a challenging sort of way.
“Don’t touch me, Milo.”
“Veronica, I swear if something has happened you need to tell me now.” He crosses his arms and his foot began tapping the floor under him. “Okay, have it your way.”
Milo ripped the blanket off of me, I was still naked but that didn’t bother him. Our eyes met and to say he was angry, wasn’t the correct word to use here. I could practically see the steam coming from his shoulders. He got close to and examined my face, took a long whiff of my wound.
“Who, and what the fuck Veronica, how?”
“Last night… in the lavender field. I was rolling around and I sensed a stranger; a lone wolf. And he…”
“No, of course not. But Emilio, he pinned me. He took me by surprise by clawing my face.” Milo growled in such anger and stormed out of the room; he was now on the hunt for whoever did this.
I rolled off the bed and gently placed my feet on the floor. I walked over to the mirror and stared at myself one last time and turned my head in shame. Maybe it was time to give up the tough she-Wolf I thought I was and step down. I had finally gotten my wolf back but last night just proves that I am weary without a future.
I turned the water on hot, hoping to burn away the events of last night. I wanted every last memory gone; the shame and embarrassment. Not that it mattered because whoever this stranger was, they knew they who I was and had probably told everyone in my pack by now how I was easily taken down. The thought of that made me want to shift and run through the woods again. I was finally one with nature again and I wanted to show my goddess how appreciative I was.
“Is everything okay, V?”
“Kay, everything is fine.”
“Well, if you need me I’ll be in the office.”
Kaylina, our pack healer was my second best friend. While Milo was everything to me in a best friend, I still needed girl time and he hates anything mushy, lovey girly, etc, etc. Kaylina came around when we were about ten years old, and since, we’ve been inseparable. I knew she was a healer from the instant we met, there was this aura about her. Being near her felt like peace and serene.
I finished washing my hair and threw on a black tracksuit; which most of my wardrobe consisted of. I towel dried my hair and walked down to the kitchen. There he was, the best brother a girl could ever ask for; Del Rio. Don’t ask why my parents named him that because they could never give us an answer either, so we just call him Déla. He stands at six foot seven, light brown curly hair like our father, but I looked like our mother; long, black wavy hair, olive skin, and blue eyes, I was the spitting image of her.
“Good morning Princesa, how was your-” he turned and seen the marks under my eye and I could see the blood rushing to his olive-toned face, “what the fuck Veronica?!”
“Will everyone stop!” I slammed my hands on the kitchen table; I was drained of everyone looking at me with anger or pity.
“Who did this to you Hermana?!”
“It doesn’t matter, Milo ran off to find the guy.”
“Someone attacked you while you were defenseless?!” He says pulling me into a hug.
“No, I shifted last night but he caught me by surprise, clawed my face then pinned me.”
“He wha- I’m sorry?” He pulled me away from his chest and quicker sniffed my wound, just as Milo did, “you let a fucking Delta pin you Hermana?!”
I rolled my eyes and decided, no more questions and no more answers. I felt shitty enough but fuck, can we lay off with the insult? Yes, a fucking Delta pinned me, yes he snatched me by surprise. I hadn’t been in my wolf form in two years, I was basically regaining my sea legs if you will. I didn’t need anymore reminders of my failure; it was precisely there on my face, literally.
I slumped down on my bed, completely shutting out the world. I didn’t want anyone to notice me, I did not want to be bothered. The embarrassment of my falter was putting me in a mood, a mood that was raging a fire in me that I couldn’t tame. I jumped out of bed and slipped on my tennis shoes and decided to go for a run.
“Where are you going V?” My brother was still cooking, not sure why he’s cooking up all this food but after my run, I’m sure I’m going to have. Full appetite and my wolf is going to enjoy this meal as much as I am.
“Has Milo returned?” I asked sternly.
“No, and he isn’t answering his phone. But where are you going?”
“For a run.” I crossed my arms and looked him in his eyes making sure he understood that I didn’t want to have a heart to heart or be coddled.
“Ok, well please be careful.”
“I’m not a child, I can handle myself Déla.”
He retreated back to his cooking as I walked out the back door. I could feel the crisp air hit my skin, it was almost the Fall season, and that meant the Harvest Moon was in a month and I knew I wasn’t going to be ready for it. However I had no choice, I made a promise to my moon goddess that I would do whatever it takes to find my mate so long as I could reconnect with my wolf again.
I made it to the woods and kneeled in the lavender beneath me. Taking in the scene around me, I took in a deep breath, laid on my back and closed my eyes, taking in the sounds of the trees brushing in the wind and the wings of the birds flying above me. The thing about me was, I was so connected to my surroundings, connected to nature. Whenever I wasn’t at my best, I’d come here to decompress and reconnect with myself and with nature. I wasn’t the best at connecting with others, but I tried to be somebody others could lean on. It just wasn’t something that was my strongest trait, being a leader was.
“I knew I’d find you here V.”
“Milo, what do you want?”
“We found him.” He manages sternly to say, I sat up and crossed my feet under my legs and looked him in the eye.
“Good. Bring him here, I want to have a chat.”