AVA was sat next to Ryan on the couch, fiddling with Lu Lu the Second, bored as she watched him play a violent video game on the TV. She didn't want to go back to the children's home because that would be even worse and Lucas told her to stay in the house.
He's been even more protective since yesterday at the carnival. Ava didn't know why he made such a fuss over it not being safe when he was perfectly fine with it the previous day. He wouldn't let her go more than a step away from him yesterday and now she had to stay in his house while waiting for him to finish working.
That was another thing. Ava was worried about how much he was working, spending hours in the office. She could tell he was really stressed about something but she had no idea what it could be.
On the other hand, she was thankful to have some time away from Lucas. It gave her time to think about what happened yesterday. Or what could've happened.
She couldn't stop replaying the moments in her mind but then again, she didn't really want them to stop. It was all so overwhelming. The sunset and the Ferris wheel, like something out of a book. He was staring at her with a look that held so many emotions yet she couldn't decipher one. Ava just found herself leaning in towards him, more so towards his lips, and not being able to move away. She knew that if either moved any closer, their lips would touch. It came as a surprise that she felt upset when they were interrupted.
Ava was going to kiss her best friend and she didn't know where these sudden feelings were coming from. Assuming she was caught in the moment, she didn't think much about why it happened. That was until she couldn't sleep last night, tracing her lips with her fingers, imagining what could've happened. When she did manage to fall asleep, she was consumed by dreams of Lucas pressing his lips to hers.
It wasn't news to her she might have a crush on him as she realised years ago when her hormones hit. Most girls did and it seemed only natural for her to crush on the handsome guy that loved her so dearly. But now it felt different - far from some silly crush that she would get over next week. It had been years and she still had the same attraction towards him, maybe even more. She just learnt to burry the feelings down but now they've magnified since yesterday.
She didn't think it was a crush anymore. Do I like like him?! A small gasp escaped her as she realised she did. She did like Lucas in a way other than a friend! Somehow Ryan heard her intake of breath and paused his game.
He shuffled closer to her small figure. She was sat with her legs crossed on the couch, cuddling Lu Lu the Second close to her as her breathing got more difficult. Ryan got off the large sofa and crouched in front of her so they were eye level, his worried ones peering into her wide eyes.
"You ok Ava? You haven't spoken much." He said with concern. Ryan placed the back of his hand on Ava's forehead. "You're a little sweaty."
Ava didn't know what was happening. She didn't want to like her best friend in that way. She didn't even want to imagine how he would react. Ava knew she was dependent on him so she would be absolutely lost if he decided he didn't want anything to do with her anymore.
Lucas was her best friend. And she was his. He had protected her through so much and was there for her when her family abandoned her. She loved him. She was in love with him. Oh my gosh! I'm in love with Lu Lu!
If it was even possible, Ava's eyes grew even larger. She didn't even realise that Ryan was calling her name until he grabbed her shoulders and started shaking her.
She looked at Ryan and panicked. She didn't know if he would want to be her friend anymore. It would ruin their whole group and she'd be left with no one. She'd be left with nothing but a broken heart.
"Ryan." Ava whimpered as a wave of tears suddenly poured out of her stinging eyes.
Ryan's eyebrows furrowed together with a look of worry. He moved Lu Lu the Second out of her lap to cocoon her in his arms. She immediately hugged him back letting the tears fall on his shoulder, probably leaving an ugly stain on the soft material.
"Ava. What's the matter? Why are you crying?" He asked her softly, rubbing her back but it didn't give the same feeling as when Lucas does it.
At the thought of him, she sobbed even harder. "I- I need to t- tell you some- something." It was difficult to speak as she hiccuped between words. Ryan moved to sit next to her, letting her cuddle to his chest as he waited for her to carry on. "Y-yesterday, Lu Lu and I..."
She couldn't finish the sentence, finding it too difficult to relive the moments with her new realisation. She thought that maybe it was in her imagination that Lucas was trying to kiss her. Maybe she leaned forward so much it felt like he was leaning too. Maybe he didn't even want to kiss her. She felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment, imagining what would've happened if she kissed him and he pushed her away. Her heart broke at the very thought of it.
Ryan shushed her softly, trying his best to calm down the hysteric girl but to no avail. "Relax Ava. What happened? Did Lucas do something?"
Ava heard the anger as he asked the last question so she quickly shook her head. "No. We... erm... wenearlykissed!" The last of her words were inaudible as she stuffed her head into Ryan's chest and cried even harder.
"I can't understand you Ava. Please calm down." He begged her. She knew that he wasn't comfortable with her crying but she couldn't find it in herself to care. In her eyes, her life was over.
"We nearly kissed!"
Ryan pulled Ava off his chest and looked in her eyes, perhaps to look for any signs of lying. When he found none, a grin split his face as his eyes lit up with happiness. "Why are you smiling? This is terrible! I- I'm in love with him!" His smile tripled.
"Ava this is amazing!" He shouted.
"No it isn't! He's not going to want to be my friend anymore." She sniffled and rubbed her sore eyes with the back of her sleeve.
Ryan looked like he was trying to hold his laughter in, making Ava slightly angry. Couldn't he pretend to be sad too?! "Yes he will. Don't be silly Ava. He loves you!"
She felt her heart crumble to pieces smaller than it was before. "Yeah... as a sister." Her small voice managed to croak out, hoarse from the crying.
Ryan didn't know what to do to comfort Ava. He just rubbed her back as she broke down. "Want me to get Lucas?" He suggested but was immediately shot down with a loud no. Wanting to call for backup and having no other choice, he texted Jackson what had happened and to come over.
He came straight away and Ava welcomed his hug with open arms. "Oh gosh I can't deal with crying people." Jackson complained, cringing away from a tearful Ava as he handed her a tissue to wipe her face.
"And you think I can?! That's why I called you!" Ryan told him.
Jackson awkwardly patted Ava on the shoulder. "There there."
It did not to stop her tears as a life without Lucas replayed in her mind. She imagined this is what it would feel like. Ava would be crying and there would be no one to make her smile ever again.
"Look at this Ava!" She looked at Jackson who feigned a surprised look as his voice was full with exaggerated excitement. He pointed to the stuffed polar bear in his hand. "It's Lu Lu the Second!"
Jackson tentatively held it out towards the puffy eyed girl, who grabbed it and squeezed it to her chest. She appreciated the smell of Lucas on it as the stuffed animal had slept in her arms and she had slept in the arms of Lucas.
Suddenly, the sound of a door bursting open was heard and loud footsteps followed. "Jackson. What did you do?" Ryan cautiously asked the nervous looking boy, who scratched the back of his neck and avoided eye contact.
"May have called someone?" He trailed off like it was a question.
The footsteps grew louder as whoever it was found their way to the living room. Suddenly, a frantic Lucas ran into the room, his eyes taking in the situation. Ava saw his jaw clench along with his hands. His entire body was shaking as he stared darkly at the two boys next to her.
"What did you do?!" Lucas shouted at them before walking to Ava and holding her face in his hands.
"Nothing. She just started crying!" Jackson held his arms up in defence, slowly backing out of the room with Ryan following closely behind.
"You must have done something!" He desperately searched Ava for any sign of injury.
She shook her head and bunched his shirt in her hand. "No no. They- they didn't do anything." Ava reassured him. He sat her on his lap, her still clinging onto the polar bear, and caressed her tear stained face. Ryan and Jackson took this as an opportunity to leave.
"What's got you so unhappy then?" He whispered, looking quite unhappy himself.
Trying to think of an excuse, she stroked Lu Lu the Second while Lucas waited for her to reply. "I just got a bit scared when Ryan was playing the video game." She shrugged and looked down since he would always know when she lied. Please believe me.
He sighed in relief and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Oh baby." She nuzzled her face in his neck, loving the way he held her close. "I thought you were hurt or something."
She didn't answer him.
"I'm sorry I was so busy today. How about we watch Beauty and the Beast to cheer you up? I'll even get some ice cream from Joe's if he's still open." He spoke softly in her ear, his breath making her shiver.
She nodded in response but didn't move. If it was possible, Ava wanted to stay like that forever - in the arms of her Lucas.
She was waiting comfortably on his bed, rolling around on the soft covers as she waited for Lucas to be back. He had to leave to get her the promised ice cream. Ava remembered to ask for popcorn too when she realised they had none left.
While he was gone, she texted Ryan and Jackson to not tell anyone about her confession. Admittedly, she was embarrassed by her melt down but to be honest, every time she thought about it, it made her want to cry again.
She had accepted that she'll never tell Lucas about her love for him. She'd have to try and forget about it and focus on being a best friend for him rather than someone who desperately wants to be more. Ava didn't expect Lucas to feel the same way so there was no point in telling him if he would just reject her.
It had been just over an hour since Lucas had left for the food but it shouldn't have taken so long. Ava was starting to get worried so she texted him but was left with no reply.
Just as she was about to call him, the front door slammed open. Running down in Lucas' shirt and joggers that she borrowed, Ava assumed it would be him coming home. When she reached him, she struggled for air at the sight. Lucas had a cut lip and bruised jaw but what brought tears to Ava's eyes was the large bloody claw mark down his topless chest.
She covered her mouth with her hands and stared at him as he stumbled to the kitchen counter, not yet seeing her. "Oh my gosh." Ava whispered through her hands.
His head whipped to her. "I didn't get the ice cream." He sucked in a breath as he reached to the back pocket to reveal a packet of microwaveable popcorn. "Got this though."
Lucas and Ava both winced when he tried to smile, opening his lip even more and causing the blood to drip on the hardwood floors. Snapping herself out of her frozen state, she ran to him and immediately inspected his cuts.
"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. What happened?! Did you get attacked by a bear or something?" She helped him to a stool by the counter and then ran to wet a cloth, glassy eyes clouding her vision.
"No I'm fine. It's just a scratch." He closed his eyes, whether in pain or annoyance over Ava's fussing, she didn't know.
"You're bleeding!" She was appalled at how casual he was being and started to lightly dab the wet cloth on his cuts.
"I said I'm fine Ava. Just wait for me upstairs and start the film."
Ignoring him, she noticed that the wounds had stopped bleeding. "I need to get a first aid kit. Where's the first aid kit?! Oh my gosh. You're going to die!"
"Ava. I'm not going to die. I'm serious. Just go upstairs."
She hysterically looked through all the cabinets, muttering to herself about how he should've been more careful.
"Ava! For f*cks sake will you please just go away and leave me the f*ck alone?!" He yelled and banged his fist on the counter.
This time Ava didn't ignore him as she jumped high in the air from the shock. She felt the whole room vibrate as he yelled.
As he yelled at her.
He never raised his voice let alone swear at her. Lucas always managed to control his language around Ava because she didn't like it but she knew swearing was a big part of his vocabulary when talking to other people. She would hear it if she ever accidentally eavesdrop on his private meetings.
Ava tried to hold her tears in, not wanting to cry for the second time that day but mainly not wanting to show Lucas how much he hurt her. She never imagined being hurt by him would feel like this. She felt like he had reached in her chest and crushed it in his hands. She felt broken.
Looking down at her feet, she gave a small nod and ran out of the room and then out of the house, leaving behind a first aid kit in front of him.
Little did she know, his physical wounds were already healing as he let his heart run out the house with tears down her face.
Thank you for reading!
So there's swearing. Kind of. I don't even swear in real life so that's weird. Will Wattpad make this private or something? I don't know how it works.
I'm updating fast because it's half term and I have no life outside Wattpad.
It's 00:30am here. I should be asleep. I'm not.
Much love <3