What I was doing is wrong, I knew that. But I couldn’t help it. And I knew as much, that if I were to get caught; it would be a lot worse than the last. Yet I paid no mind to the warnings jumping to the frontlines of my thoughts.
I tried to keep my footing as light as a human possibly could, while maintaining a reasonable distance as I followed after him. A stalker, god, I hated such a word, but whom am I kidding? I am one. Not by choice though.
Do not judge me, please. And as time goes by, you’ll understand the reason behind my doings.
I’m referred to as Kyle, the name chosen for me by my mother upon my birth, seventeen summers ago. And I’m an unrepentant stalker.
You got to be intrigued to know the person I’m stalking if I’m willing to risk getting caught again. To put it in short words; he’s the definition of a humane human. The best I’ve come to know. Not that I know him personally- but actions speak louder than words, and as I observed him more and more, I came to know the length of his kindness and gentleness. As well as the fact he’s mildly handsome!
Andrew. Is his name, it sounds so dreamy every time it rolls out of my mouth. And I’ve been in love with him for many years, and many to come. And in those seven years, I’ve only stalked him from the shadows. And while I knew it was not healthy nor right to do such a thing, I couldn’t stop myself. My heart would ache every time I tried to stop. So I had to be near him somehow, and out in the open isn’t an option for me, so I hid behind stone walls and large aging oak trees and worked with what I got.
The first time I saw Andrew was back when we, my mother and I, first moved to the neighborhood, thirteen years ago. He was only the boy across the street that I admired and wished as a friend. But that was no possibility. As time went on, my feelings grew stronger, and I no longer wanted to be friends. But rather wished for more. At night I couldn’t sleep, and through the day I was too tired to function enough to do the limited work I had.
One sleepless night, I was laying in the darkness, thinking. I had finally decided to do something about it and was trying to come up with a solution to my helpless case. That is where the stalking comes in. and in my sleep-deprived, hopeless state- it sounded perfect.
You must wonder, why wouldn’t I just modestly approach him? And the answer to that is fairly simple; I cannot.
I’m no normal teenage boy. I’m an abnormality to society. An abomination. To people; I’m monstrous. A freak.
I’m no longer affected by those names and titles thrown at me. I’ve made my peace with them long ago.
Thirteen years ago
Kyle remembers the first time he sneaked out, how couldn’t he? It was his biggest mistake.
He was four at the time, pushing his legs up the stairs to the attic as fast as his small frame would allow. He could hear their laughs and screeches of joy as he peeked from the bounded window. He cracked up his neck as far as it would go to get a glimpse of the kids playing outside. They were chasing after one another and it looked fun and interesting. Kyle pouted slightly, wanting so badly to go and play with them. But he knows his mum wouldn't allow it. He’s locked in.
His mother was strict about his one rule. She had him repeat it every morning once he woke. And every night before bed.
Hide or die!
Which in return forbade him from going outside.
Their voices got louder the nearer they got to his front yard, he yearned to join them in their games, have them as friends. He knew his mother would never approve, but she wasn’t around today. He might as well sneak out to meet them.
His mother often murmured to herself how smart for his age he was. So it wasn’t surprising when he formulated a plan in his head. He ran towards his mother’s room, searched between her clothes until he found the one shirt he knew was there. It was his father’s so it was fair to say, it was humongous on him. It covered his entire body as if it was a gown, he belted it at the waist and made sure it was secured against his small frame.
He then headed towards the kitchen, their house wasn’t that old, but it wasn’t the newest either and he knew the kitchen’s window was broken. His mother has tried fixing it the night before, but she needed more supplies, which caused her to go out early in the morning to get them from the town. The journey to and back from the town should take her a while, so he decided to seize the moment.
With a bit of difficulty, he managed to climb out the window and to the grassed ground of their backyard. He felt the grass tickling his bare feet, and the wind blowing against his face. It was his first time out in the open and for a moment he considered getting back inside. His anxiety was growing but then he heard the kids laughing and it hiked up his curiosity enough to want to go and make friends with them.
The little kid rounded their house to the front yard, down the pavement and to the playground, nearest to his house, straight to the circle of kids he has been watching.
“Hi! My name is Kyle.” He introduced himself with a smile and a small wave.
They all had stopped playing to look at him, muttering to each other, louder than necessary so that he would hear, that “he looks funny” and that “he has a hunchback” and if “that’s the reason he’s wearing a gown” only to, rudely, burst out laughing.
Kyle didn’t understand the teasing, he didn’t mind the way they spoke of him, he took it as the first conversation he has had and although it’s one-sided and not the nicest, He was innocently happy.
He kept on his smile, even when his heart raced as a bigger looking kid got up from the ground and stood in front him, the rest standing up as well. He thought to himself that; it was finally happening, he’s making the friends he so wished for.
The way they silently surrounded him made him nervous but alas he spoke again. “I saw you playing and I was hoping I could join you.”
“You are weird looking we don’t want you!” they all laughed. “Get lost!” another said a little louder and pushed Kyle from behind.
Kyle felt like crying. But he was adamant about this, so he won’t give up.
“Please let me join you! I’ll do anything you ask!”
The older looking boy smirked and asked how old he was, then when Kyle answered he proceeded to explain “I’m eight years old, the oldest. And the youngest is my brother, he’s six. He went through the initiation process to join us. Are you willing to go through the same process?”
Kyle excitedly nodded. Happy that he was given the chance to join them.
“It’s simple. Run down the street and back. Naked.”
Kyle’s face paled. He already broke the one foremost rule. If his mother knew he broke another one he’d be in so much trouble.
“Please, can’t I do anything else?” he desperately asked
“No. either do it or forget joining us!”
His mother’s words rung up in his head when he asked her why he couldn’t go outside. Or swim in the pool. He remembers her telling him that he’s special and if anyone knew they would take him from her. Or worse; kill him.
He didn’t want that to happen. And he already broke one rule. “I’m sorry, I have to get inside.” he frowned down.
“Oh look, everyone! He’s a loser! I knew you’re too weak to do it.” the eldest barked out, making everyone laugh.
“I’m not a loser!” Kyle yelled. “Mum said I should never take off my clothes in public!”
“Why? Scared people would see your hunchback?” the boy from behind spoke again making them all laugh.
“I’m leaving. It was nice meeting you all.” he was sad, yet stayed polite as he was raised to be. He turned to break free from the circle but was blocked from leaving.
He tried again, but they wouldn’t let him. He was starting to feel scared and panicked. But before he could get any word out, he was tackled with a multitude of hands when the eldest boy yelled a “GET HIM!”.
Before he can understand what has happening his clothes were being ripped off of him.
“GET OFF ME!” he screamed and started crying when they didn’t listen.
Then he realized that they had stopped. He also realized he was only in his underwear. He got off the ground and looked up horrified and was met with wide-eyed stares.
“Are those real?” a girl whispered, stepping closer to him. While one boy denied and said that they must be fake, another buy pointed out the way they were attacked to his back.
Kyle stood frozen to the spot. His mum has warned him of what would happen if people were to see him naked, he didn’t want to die! He started to shake in fear as they surrounded him and harshly pushed him to the ground, staring and pocking at his body.
“Let me pass!” Kyle whimpered out in pain when his scrapped arm came in contact with the ground again.
“You’re a freak!”
“What’s going on in here?!” they all quietened down when a woman came peering in. only to gasp in shock and scream for the kids to step away from him.
They all ran and hid behind her while she dialed a number, Kyle was too scared to move or do anything.
“911? Please send help! There is a- a child but he- he has wings! Huge wings! I think he’s dangerous!”
(EDITED. Courtesy of justbonnie.)