Opening my eyes I see the sun rising, Rykers hands are still wrapped around me and he’s lightly snoring. Everything about him is so beautiful but everything is so tainted by Orion. Turning in his arms I kiss him deeply, it takes him a minute to respond but he does. We make love to each other two more times before it finally sets in that we are over.
“The funeral is today, are you leaving before or after?” he asks kissing my shoulder
“Before.” I whisper feeling him stiffen, I am staying for the funeral but he can’t know. It will be easier for him to move on if he hates me.
“Okay.” he lets go and sits up with his back to me stiff.
I have to start packing my things but I don’t have the courage to ask him to leave, I’m afraid of how he’s going to react.
“I should go help get the rest of Aspens funeral figured out, and I need to go see how my people are doing with the loss.” his voice is thick with pain, my heart shattering into a million more pieces.
“I’m sorry Ry, she was such a special girl and the world will be a colder place without her.”
“If you’re so sure of that why won’t you stay for her funeral?” his voice getting heated, it’s working, he’s going to hate me for the rest of our lives.
“Because I can’t find any reasons to stay here Ryker. Seeing you in that much pain will make me stay and we both know I have to leave to figure my life out.”
“Ryker, I want you to move on. I want you to claim another female and love her just like you love me. Let someone in and don’t wait up for me, move on.” I whisper, it kills me to say these words but I do, I want him to be happy even if that means I lose him in the end.
Without another word he gets up and leaves the room slamming the door behind him. I know I just broke him but we both need to heal without trying to figure out how to fix our relationship, our relationship would cloud our ability to glue our broken pieces back together again.
Packing my car with I shove everything I’ve accumulated into it, it’s not much but it’s something. I ponder if I should go say goodbye to Alexandra and Brian but I decide that it’s best to close the door on this chapter of my life. Slipping into the seat I gaze at the pack house, the funeral is just down the road but wont take place for a couple of hours so I decide to head for the diner where Ryker took me on our first unofficial date.
Stepping through the door the bell notifies one of the servers they have a customer, and you’ll never believe who shows up to seat me. Red Lips. I die a little more on the inside just because of the scowl she holds on her face, so much hatred radiates off this females body it makes me squeamish.
“I can’t believe you’re still here.” she snides
“Are you always such a bitch to people you don’t even know?” I raise an eyebrow waiting for a nasty response.
“No, only to the people who take Ryker away from me and so far thats only been you since his mate died. I also don’t like people who kill my pack for her own selfish reasons, if you had never showed up do you really think Ryker would have gone after his father?”
“Ryker was already planning to take his father down before I was even in the picture. I am out of Rykers picture now so heres your opening.” I sigh searching through the menu, my heart constricting painfully at the thought of Ryker moving on with this chick.
“I’ll take the steak with fries and a strong drink. Please.” I hope she knows how desperate I am to change the subject.
Knitting her eyebrows together she nods slightly before giving my order to the chef. Bringing my drink back to the table she gently sets it on a napkin before having seat across from me, to say I’m surprised is an understatement.
“He really loves you, you have to know that Alethea. You can’t tell me you can’t feel the pain he’s feeling, we all saw the way you two bonded together during the ceremony, every single pack member knows you two bonding together was different from everybody else. The way you reacted to it, I know you share your emotions.” I search her eyes, I didn’t expect kindness from her, let alone honesty.
“Even if it were true he’s shutting off his emotions from me. I love him, I don’t know what to do.” The pain in my chest is almost too much to bare. Tears flow down my cheeks with no sign of stopping. Swiping away the stray tears, I use the napkin to dry my face.
“You know what to do, You have a second chance to be with somebody who is your mate Alethea. Maybe you need to take some time away from him, and that’s fine but you need to come back to him. The two of you are made for each other. You don’t even realize how much you’ve affected his life, he talked about you like you put the stars in the sky, like you were the one who made the sun rise every single morning.” I ponder her speech for some time, so much time that my food came out but I realized I couldn’t eat this, I couldn’t stomach any food.
“I need to spend time away from this pack, I need to go home.” I whisper standing from my seat and rush out to my car, slamming the door I let everything come out. My cries were silent yet felt like tidal waves raging through my body, nobody stopped to see if I was okay and I was thankful for that.
My cars windows started fogging up, but the pain never stopped, the tears never stopped and the agony never slept. I must have stayed in the car for more than a couple of hours because the funeral was about to start any minute. Throwing the car into reverse I race toward the pack house, as soon as i get there I stay in the back so nobody can see me. My heart stops when I see him.
Ryker sits alone in the first row of seating, he’s the only one in that row, nobody thought of joining him. My eyes watch as he straightens his shoulders taking in a deep breath putting on a show for his pack to see, they wouldn’t see their Alpha cry. Not even at his 4 year old sisters funeral.
The pastor began speaking but I couldn’t hear any of the words he spoke, the tears flowed down my cheeks. I don’t know how I manage to stay on my feet as I watch them bury her small coffin, it’s not fair that she had to die, why couldn’t it have been me instead, she didn’t even have a chance to live yet. It should be me being buried.
Ryker doesn’t move an inch the entire service, as soon as people begin to disperse after placing the flowers across her grave, I pause waiting for him to move but he doesn’t. Brian and Alexandra head toward him, placing a hand on his shoulder Brian tries to comfort him but Ryker doesn’t want anything to do with it, shrugging it off he storms away from the funeral shifting into his beautiful wolf and within seconds he’s gone.
As soon as everybody is gone I go to her grave, I don’t know how long I stay there crying but I move to put the flower I found growing a few feet back, I sharp red rose. Placing it over the rest of the flowers, I know that it is finally my time to go.
“I just want you to know Aspen, that there will not only be one person waiting for you up there, there will be 5 people to greet you and love you. My family will be yours now too, theirs a man up there named Orion, tell him that his wife sent you to be with him. Tell him that I love him.” I sob bringing up a hand to cover my mouth.
“Will you ever come back?” Brian asks holding onto his pregnant wife, Alexandra can’t even make eye contact with me, either she’s ashamed of herself or she can’t stand to see the agony I am going through.
Pausing I try to think of a suitable answer but nothing comes to my mind. Staring into his eyes I let the real me show, the sad depressed version of myself and I give him my answer. Turning away from them I start for my car, I don’t know if I will come back.
Getting into my car I drive. I drive away as fast as I can, I hear the wolf crying out mourning his loss and I cry too.