The minute I reach the border, they stop me.
“Get out of the car slowly!” I abide by there demands putting my hands on my head so they knew I wasn’t armed.
Once they realize who I am they all just stop for a minute and stare at me, wondering why I’ve decided to come back after all this time away, they didn’t expect me to return at all. The warriors look so different from when I left, they’re bigger and stronger and they all have this look in their eyes that shows something had to have changed. It’s a dangerous look, and I’m not entirely sure I like it.
“Why are you here?” Grayson approaches me coldly without showing emotion, aside from anger. The anger is so thick I can taste its vileness on my tongue.
“You know why I’ve come back. I love him Grayson.” I explain truthfully taking a step toward him to properly greet him but he steps back immediately avoiding my touch, I forgot that they didn’t know I was cured.
“He’s not the same man you left 6 months ago.” Brian steps out from the tree line
“He will always be the man that I love Brian, nothing about him is going to change that.” I won’t leave without speaking to him first.
“You don’t know who he is anymore.” his body language is leaking hostility, his eyes don’t look happy anymore, I hope his wife is doing okay since I’ve left.
“I will always know who he is Brian, he’s mine.” I stand tall not backing down, nobody is going to sit here and tell me that I don’t know who that male is, he’s my entire world.
“He doesn’t want you here Alethea.” he says quietly like he’s trying to spare my feelings, but the sting I feel in my heart is proof that this mission may be a lot harder on me than I thought. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I decided to come back, as if Ryker was going to wait 6 months for me and things would go back to how they were before I found out the secret, it’s almost laughable. I did tell him to move on, maybe he did.
“That’s too damn bad because I am here and there’s nothing he can do to drive me away.” Nobody is going to keep me away from him, including Ryker himself. I’m going to do everything in my power to convince him that I am his for the rest of our lives, and I’d do anything for him.
“Don’t speak so soon.” he says looking at the ground turning his back toward me.
Moving out of my way they allow me to enter my car and pass them, driving to the pack house I stop, slamming my door closed, I rush through the oak doors taking in his beautiful scent but the scent is now mixed with another females’. Moving toward his room I pause when I hear moans escaping through his door.
Oh hell no.
Opening the door I see the love of my life in bed with another female luckily with all their clothes on, his mouth the only thing that was pleasing her.
“Ryker.” I whisper staring at his back, the moment I say his name he stiffens. My heart skips beats, it’s painful to see him this way.
“Get out.” he growls, the female looks back at me, her eyes are angry, I can only imagine what she would do just to be with the Alpha male. No babies would be made in this house tonight.
“He’s talking to you.” I raise an eyebrow waiting for her to get the hint.
Readjusting herself she slams her shoulder into mine knocking me into the door frame, flinching I recover myself. By the time I recover he’s standing feet away from me staring at me with his cold dead eyes, I wasn’t expecting this when they told me I didn’t know him anymore. My heart pounding painfully in my chest, his eyes are really getting to me, they were once so full of light but now all I see is the darkness, I know those eyes, I had them. I caused the darkness inside of him.
“Ryker.” I step closer to him but he steps back.
“Why are you here.” he questions emotionless, his eyes hold so much anger I almost fall to my knees in obedience toward him, the wolf is still fond of me but the human side is furious.
“Because I love you Ryker, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I want to have children with you.”
“I don’t want you Alethea. I don’t want you here on my land.” he’s just like how I used to be now. His voice is so cold. I did this to him. I killed him.
“Don’t say something you can’t take back Ryker.” my voice feels shaky, I just hope that he doesn’t recognize it.
“Oh Alethea, you really think at this point in my life that I would say something that I didn’t mean.” venom drips from every word he throws at me.
“You expect me to fall down on my knees after you’ve been absent for 6 months? Where have you been? What have you been doing this entire time that you couldn’t even be bothered to make a phone call to let me know that you were safe or even alive!” He’s losing control, his Iris’ switching between the golden amber and black.
“I was trying to fix myself Ryker! I had built a life here with you and in a matter of 5 minutes with your father, he exposed you! I was so broken that I didn’t know how to repair myself, if I spoke to you, I would have come crawling back to you and I never would have been able to get over what happened. I couldn’t be with you if that meant I couldn’t figure out who I was.”
“You don’t look like you’ve fixed yourself Alethea, you look so sickly skinny I’m afraid you’re going to blow away in the wind. I don’t know if I want the same things that you want anymore, when you left I changed too.”
Moving toward him quickly I don’t give him the option to move away anymore, his back pressed against the wall. Grabbing his face with my hands he freezes.
“Stop it. We are meant to be together Ryker, I am so in love with you it hurts.” I run my fingers across his stubble, relishing how it feels to touch him after being apart for half a year. We would have to work out our new quirks and figure out who we are together, because for me, being without Ryker wasn’t an option.
“I can’t. I can’t be with you. All I want to do is throw you on this bed and punish you! I want to punish you in front of the entire pack for leaving me here to deal with the casualties of this war. I want to punish you for no reason at all!” he yells slamming me into the wall while his body pins me almost painfully against the wall.
“Punish me. Go ahead, punish me for hurting you.” I whisper unbuttoning his shirt.
“You don’t want that.” he presses me harder into the wall. His eyes attacking my body, this is the first time I’ve seen any life in his eyes.
“If this is how you will forgive me, I will do whatever it takes.” I answer honestly, if this is how he will forgive me I will do it, no matter how much this will hurt me, I’ll do it for him. That’s what you do for love Right? I wasn’t so sure that this was the right way to do it and I’m not sure how this will effect me.
“I don’t know if this is what it will take for me to forgive you.” he answers carefully staring into my eyes with so much power radiating off of him, it makes me want to submit to him.
“I will do whatever you want me to do Ryker, I’m not willing to lose you again. Please.” I say grabbing onto him, holding onto him for dear life as if me letting him go meant he’d walk away from me forever.
“I don’t understand why, you left me Alethea. You didn’t lose me, I lost you.” his voice is just a hair above a whisper, his fingers brushing hair away from my forehead but don’t touch my skin.
“I needed to forgive everybody for what happened Ryker and I did, I know it took me a long time but I did it. I forgave everybody who hurt me. I don’t want to lose you permanently. I want to spend the rest of my days with you and I’m not going anywhere no matter what.” I relish the feel of my hands on his skin.
“So punish me if that’s your way to forgive me for leaving you. Just remember that what you do to me, I’ll never forget about it.” I tell him honestly, just because I was willing to put myself through hell to get him back didn’t mean I would just sweep everything he did to me under the rug, I’d remember how he treated me and I’d forgive him for the minor things but anything major I wouldn’t just let him off the hook. I had to keep my dignity somehow.
For the first time in 6 months his fingers meet my flesh, pulling my tank top off my shoulder, slowly his lips touch my skin and every nerve in my body is set on fire. Sucking in a breath I set him off. My tank top is ripped down the middle and his hands torture me, my bra is the next thing he rips off exposing my chest, his mouth tortures me next.
I feel his claws digging into the skin on my hips, removing me from the wall he throws me through the air onto the bed, sitting up I watch as he stalks toward me like a hunter hunting its prey. My pants come off next and I stare at the god standing in front of me unbuttoning his pants sliding them off effortlessly.
I gasp when I see his manhood, I forgot how much of an Alpha he really was. Slamming into me without warning I scream out in pain trying to adjust to him after all this time, but he doesn’t stop to give me time to adjust. When he told me he was going to punish me, boy was he right, it hurts but feels so much better than I thought it would, his moans are pushing me over the edge but before I can come undone he’s already spilling his seed onto my stomach, this must be my punishment in the bedroom. Sexual Frustration was dirty but two could play at that game.
As soon as he’s dressed he leaves the room slamming the door, I sit on the bed stunned and hear the front doors slam shut. I breath because I told myself I could handle it, it still hurts to feel his rejection, but I know that it may take time for him to heal himself, hell it took me half of a year to figure myself out and if it meant waiting that long for him, even longer than that, I knew it was worth it. Cleaning myself off I go and tug my pants back on but I need to borrow one of Rykers shirts, I will give him a couple of minutes to cool down but after that I am going to do everything in my power to get him back.
Leaving his room I head down the stairs to leave the house but I’m stopped by Brian.
“I told you he isn’t the same, he never would have done that to you before.” his face is red with anger
“I can handle it. I will do whatever it takes to get him back.” I keep repeating this to myself as if I’m trying to convince myself that I’ll do anything to get him back.
“Even if that includes losing yourself all over again? Alethea he isn’t coming back to you. What he just did to you, do you really think that’s okay?” I don’t understand why he cares all of a sudden, he wasn’t concerned before when he kept Ryker’s secret from me. What the hell has changed to make him interested in my well being?
“If that’s what it takes for him to forgive me and to trust me, I will do it.” I keep repeating this to myself, I’m honestly afraid that I might not be able to handle this. I’m freshly healed and still vulnerable, I didn’t want to lose what I’ve gained from leaving.
“You got soft.” he says turning away from me heading out the front doors, I follow
“If you think me falling in love with him is making me soft you’re wrong. Falling in love with that male is what has kept me alive these past 6 months! Ryker is what’s kept me going after all this time.” I yell speeding up to catch up to him. I’ve kept myself going even when I told myself I’d end my life after Julian died, It’s been me who’s been the strongest one, the one waking up every day even though all I wanted to do was die. I did it, by myself, the thought of Ryker kept me going but I’m the one who kept going.
“His love is also the reason why you disappeared for 6 months.” he spins around spitting to me.
“Why are you treating him like this? Ryker is one of your closest friends Brian and you’re treating him like he’s gum on the bottom of your shoe.” I yell exasperated throwing my hands up in the air, wondering what in the hell happened to the two of them.
“After you left, he cut everybody off. I don’t even know who that male is anymore. The Ryker you left is dead and gone, this pack suffered because you left.” he says leaving me glued in place. I need to find Ryker and figure out what the hell has happened and why he’s cut off his best friends. I can’t imagine him hurting his pack, I can’t imagine him doing anything but putting them before everything and everybody.
I decide to check the training facility first to see if he’s there, stepping through the door I can already tell he isn’t here but the people training know I’m here. Everybody just stands and stares at me, if looks could kill I’d be on the floor dead. Without warning I’m attacked from behind, my neck is killing me. Flipping me around so I’m on my back a male starts punching me over and over again, I try shielding my face with my arms but I couldn’t even defend myself, his fist just kept hitting me until I eventually black out.
Waking up I hear Ryker,
“What did I say to everybody about hurting this female?” he screams, his fury gives me goosebumps and has my curling into a ball to protect myself.
Turning my body toward his voice I see his wolf coming undone and that can’t happen in front of his pack.
“Ryker?” But instead of coming to my aid he leaves me on the floor for the doctor to scoop up, my attacker comes over to me but pauses before he speaks to me
“I shouldn’t have attacked you but you hurt my Alpha, when you left it destroyed him. It didn’t affect his Alpha duties but it affected his life, our training got harder but we endured it because it made us stronger but Ryker put himself through so much more than he deserved because of you.”
“What happened with him?” my ears ringing, I’m trying to understand what the hell he went through.
“He put the whole world on his shoulders, he put himself through even harder training if that is even possible. Ryker had to execute the rogues we captured that didn’t join us or didn’t vow to leave in peace, he killed every single one of them because Julian brainwashed them so much, they were going to hunt you down and kill you. Ryker endured so much so that you didn’t have to worry about anything that hindered your ability to find yourself. The rest of what he did is up for him to tell you.” I can’t breath, I didn’t know he did that. How it must haunt him in his dreams, how he has to battle those demons everyday. Too have to look a wolf in its eyes and end it with the snap of a finger is not easy, I’m still dealing with the people I killed. I hope he knows that I didn’t expect him to kill those people for me, I hope he doesn’t blame me for the demons he has to battle because I left.
“I’m sorry I hurt him, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it.” I speak honestly.
“If you ever hurt him again, I will end you.” he says turning away disgusted. Rykers people care about him more than any other pack has cared about its Alpha before, he’s really touched the lives of these people in the best way possible.
For the first time since being in this pack, I felt unwelcome. I hurt him so bad.
Would the pack want me back after what I did or would my life be in constant danger because I left?