Chapter 1: Dream
If you have not read the first book of Sarah’s Story, Dream Walker, I highly recommend that you do this before starting this book so that all of this will make more sense. Hope y’all enjoy it!
My body burned, a scream was torn from the very core of my being as the venom raced through my body. I twisted, fought, and screamed again as my head was yanked back fangs sinking into my throat. More of the venom was poured into my body as my blood was slowly being sucked out of me, and it forced my body to orgasm. I didn’t have a sense of will anymore or a working brain, all I could feel was the vampire feeding at my neck even as he pounded himself deeper and deeper inside of me to the point I thought I would break.
I startled awake with a cry tearing from my lips the nightmare fresh on my mind. How much of it was a nightmare and not premonition would yet to be seen. I sat up in bed pushing my long hair back from my face and looked around the room. The bedding was a deep rich blue color, the walls a lighter sky blue, and the carpet all around my simple room was black. I could see the spills of light around the edges of the blackout curtains, just enough to let me know the sun was awake along with me. My chin rested on my knees as I lifted them up, curling my arms around them. “Another fine night’s sleep.”
It had been two months since I met and tricked Seth, or as most people know him Set the Egyptian God of Chaos and Discord. While this action had removed a small part of a curse I’d been given by literally one of the oldest known Goddesses in the cosmos, who did I mention was also Seth’s mother? The issue was Seth owned the lives of two more of the targets of my curse mark given to me by his mother, the Goddess of my witch Bloodline, who we call our mother, and without his kind help, we would be fighting him. Does anyone really want to fight an ancient God of Chaos and Destruction who was so well connected? Nope, not really.
So once again I felt my life being played with by the Gods and Goddesses, however this time He just wanted to trade the lives he already owned for the chance at me giving him children. I stared at the spills of light around the curtains, this was my life now, hiding parts of myself, my story away from the people who loved me. I also knew that this was my choice, I could tell them everything, I should, but I was too afraid of what might happen if I did. I was terrified that at some point the man my soul was now tied to would finally reach a breaking point and walk away from me. How could he accept things about me I couldn’t even think about without feeling like I was breaking all over again? How would he be able to stand to look at me when I couldn’t look at myself? How could I stand him if he could accept the parts of me I couldn’t?
All of those questions ran through my mind. I didn’t deserve the love he gave me, the acceptance, the safe space he created for me was almost suffocating. I was pushing him away, I knew it, he knew it, he didn’t know why, and there was no way I could tell him. I felt dirty, unclean, unworthy of love and the fact he continued to give it I both craved and hated. I felt a single tear roll down my cheek as the depression, confusion, anxiety, and self hate ate away at my insides. I knew I needed to talk to someone, to get help, but that also meant admitting to someone else that I was wrong inside. I didn’t want to admit any of it, I didn’t want to face it, Talking about it made it feel more real. It couldn’t, I couldn’t let it be more real.
I hugged my legs tighter to myself more tears fell silently as I stared at the edges of sunlight, and refused to get up, pull back the curtain, and walk into it. I watched the light shifting around the curtains as time passed, how long I had no idea nor did I care. The feeling of Leo’s mind seeking mine had me climbing from the bed and rushing into my bathroom. I didn’t let him in more than to let him know I was up, awake and in the shower. He didn’t press further, hiding away his own feelings at the small rejection that had become a steady habit of mine and he pulled away from the bond between us, leaving me nearly alone in it, but never fully. After the last time that happened, he refused to shut it down completely, and who could blame him.
The shower was a quick one, just enough to scrub the hell out of my face and try to hide the fact that I had been crying. When I climbed out I winced after looking in the mirror. I looked like a half dead zombie, I’d blame it on another sleepless night, I had nothing else I could use to excuse it, and it’s true enough. Dressing in simple matching underwear, jeans, and a black T-shirt I headed into the kitchen to find the other walkers all sitting around the island chatting, a large buffet style breakfast all over the kitchen counters. It was a new habit our little group had started when the rest of them had practically moved into Leo’s house with us. They didn’t want to go back to Pai’s and who could blame them. They had been like pets in a Zoo for the demon lord, and now that they had a small taste of freedom, of the outside world, they wanted to know everything. Besides, since we were all cursed with something that could kill us all within a years time who was I to tell them no? Looks were all sent my way and no one said anything, Leo turned from pulling another bottle of water out of the fridge to look at me.
His smile shook my insides, I didn’t deserve that smile, the love in his eyes. He walked to me and curled his arms around me, I hesitated, he noticed but instead of backing up he hugged me tighter and in the back of my mind I heard his voice. ‘Love you my little witch.’ It was nearly enough to make me cry, but I buried my face into his chest, breathing in the scent of the Demon that I didn’t deserve. When I finally collected my feelings and looked up the room had silently emptied out leaving just the two of us. His fingers traced along my jaw, lifting my face. His beautiful eyes searched him, dark shadows passing in them, a hint of worry in his expression, but he only kissed my forehead. “I will always be here.”
Those words made me feel safe, wanted, loved, and part of me absolutely hated them. The only thing that kept me from having to hide the expression on my face was that he put his chin on the top of my head and just held me. I was gonna screw this up, I was going to hurt him, he deserved so much better than this fucked up person he was stuck with. I just had to figure out how to set him free.