37- The Guilt
“Taehyung, please explain to me. I don’t understand. Why do I have memories in heaven? How did I get there in the first place?” Jungkook kept begging me to answer him ever since I slipped in his mind along with his name an old memory I was the cause in removing it in the first place.
I huffed and finally turned to face him with a frown on my face, saying “I knew this was gonna happen. Can you stop already with the questions? You aren’t ready yet to know the truth. Also-” I paused as I walked towards him while caressing his cheek, shocking him with my words next “I don’t want to lose my first and only friend.”
However, shockingly he slapped my hand away from his face, mumbling “Don’t lie. I know now Dowen was your first friend. You can’t fool me forever.”
For some reason, Jungkook always becomes sensitive when it comes to the word ‘friends’. He thinks that having friends is somewhat more important than having powers.
But what he doesn’t really know is that he is truly my first and only friend, and I refuse to give him back his memories because of that reason. He will 100 per cent resent me the moment he remembers what I did to him.
“It’s really disappointing to know that the only one who can help you remember is the same one who actually took those memories away,” Kookie said with a tone full of sorrow.
He fisted his hand and started to walk away from me, but before leaving he uttered, “If you don’t want to tell me, I’m gonna find it on my own.”
“Jungkook, you need to understand that I’m doing this for your sake. When I say I can’t do it then it means my words are absolute.”
Jungkook, unlike any other day, snorted and walked away, leaving me dumbfounded. He left and disregarded my words. He left and is about to know the truth, Damn it!
Am I going to be lonely again?
“Before I leave, can I ask a final question?” Jimin’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts so I quickly directed my gaze towards him.
“And here I thought you already left after our earlier conversation. What do you want?” I furrowed my eyebrows at him.
“I gave myself some time to think things over. It’s actually the only thing I can do since I’m free all the time. Anyway, here is the question. What’s the connection between Jungkook and Dowen? Because I sense a big one.”
Suddenly, I felt frozen in my place. However, I quickly built a barrier with only Jimin and me standing face to face.
“If by any tiny chance Jungkook heard what you said, I’ll make sure to kill you,” I flashed my body in front of him with my eyes digging into his grace.
“So there is a connection, and I can sense a big connection too,” He smirked and took a step back continuing, “Also, both you and I know that you are incapable of killing me.”
I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration as I watched his motion. He walked ahead of me, gesturing me to follow him far from the yard of Yoongi’s house.
“I can’t leave the house’s perimeters,” I reminded him.
He turned his body to look at me while raising an eyebrow, saying “Do you think that at this point you can still fool me? Taehyung I already know that you are stronger than just a curse. You can self regenerate.”
“Since when do you know that I’m capable of leaving Yoongi’s side?”
“Since you told me about your powers. Let’s go somewhere I’m sure you’ve missed a lot,” he suddenly ended his words with him standing behind me and his white wings spread around me, blocking my vision.
Jimin removed his wings after a couple of seconds as my eyes were met by the gigantic fields of beautiful flower beds which only grew on Heaven.
“Did you just bring me to Heaven? Are you insane? If Namjoon finds out about my presence here which is because of you, you’ll be banished out of Heaven for God knows how long,” I warned him, trying my best to inform him about the severity of his situation.
“Why do you always forget that I serve God and not Namjoon?” Jimin shook his head in amusement.
I rolled my eyes and followed him anyway. It doesn’t matter. He is the one who is gonna get kicked in the ass not me.
My eyes kept roaming around, taking in all the beauty I’ve been missing for a long time. However, I stood in front of a particular flower and knelt to its level, feeling Jimin’s halt as well.
I caressed the flower’s petals, saying “Long time no see. Last time I came across one, I was butchering it because of a stupid game.”
“Normanos are really beautiful flowers. Also, I heard the story,” Jimin said.
I chuckled and stated, “It seems like Hoseok was a good messenger.”
“Yeah, he told me about everything including you killing Dowen.”
I gulped harshly when he stated that. I stood up from my position and walked ahead while being silent.
Jimin kept following me in silence too, but after a minute or two he said, “Dowen was supposed to be the first Human to go to hell, so tell me Taehyung where is he?”
I was still back facing him while walking not giving him much attention. However, he suddenly increased his pace and stood in front of me while crossing his arms on his chest and asked again, “Taehyung, where is Dowen?”
I halted and squinted my eyes shut while fisting my hands. That brat wants to know so much. He is so curious to the extent that it’s bugging me.
“I can’t tell you.”
“You can’t or you don’t want to because there is a very big difference,” he said while raising a questioning eyebrow but received an irritated huff from me instead.
I bit my lips and told him to follow me. We walked until we were met by the same place where God first introduced Dowen to me.
I looked at the place and said, “When God crafts something new, I was always the first one to get introduced to it. Earth came first then came the Horsemen then lastly Dowen. Yes, I killed Dowen. I did that to protect Namjoon, but that recklessness ended up putting Dowen in hell. He sinned, but I felt guilty because I thought that I could’ve been more careful with him.”
I stopped talking for a moment and looked at Jimin with a smile on my face, continuing “Later on, I met him in hell. The Angels kept asking him about his sin, but he kept denying. None of the Angels dared to torture me. You can say that I received zero torture in hell, but guess what! For me, Dowen’s symphony of pain was sufficient torture. His constant denial was more than enough to break my mind and implant a Soul in me.”
“One day, God came to me. He said if Dowen kept denying his sin, he will be turned into a Demon. Something God doesn’t want. Therefore, he let the Angels bring Dowen to where I was originally locked.”
I suddenly felt pain in my chest. It wasn’t because I’ve been away from Yoongi for too long, but because the memories of guilt were eating me up.
“Dowen layed in front of me lifeless. Pain was painting his body. Therefore, I went to him and tried to heal him, but he brushed my hand away with his face fuming in anger. He didn’t let me heal him, and he didn’t accept any of my words. He told me that he did nothing wrong. He didn’t accept the fact that he was about to kill an Angel. He questioned me how can someone be judged for something he didn’t do?”
I looked down at my hands, remembering what I did to him after that.
“Because guilt was eating me up, in a split of a second, I stood in front of him and placed my hand on his head, erasing all of his memories then I made sure to numb his body with my other hand. I used so much of my powers that day. I wasn’t even sure if I was gonna succeed in doing it or not, but after some time I found out that I succeeded. I changed everything about him. From his facial features to his bones structure. You can say that I reshaped him. He technically became a different person, and that’s when I whispered only his name into his memories,” The only thing he knew that time was his new name-