41- The Scars
A couple of days passed by after Kookie had a breakdown at Jin’s place. Jungkook looked like he didn’t want to speak about what has gotten into him so I respected that and kept focusing on my studies.
I also felt some weird tension between both Taehyung and Jungkook, but again I didn’t want to intervene with something I don’t have the power to deal with since I have a lot on my plate already.
My dad was being a dick and work was not doing me good. Everything was becoming hectic at home. Sometimes it took me a bruise or two to finally leave to my room and maybe sleep if I was lucky enough.
Neither Taehyung nor Jungkook had come to my house for the past couple of days, so I was always faced by my father’s graceful hands that if they weren’t holding anything.
I sighed while walking to school with my head hanging low. Today though Taehyung and Jungkook were accompanying me.
Exam time came up and all papers were distributed. I twisted the pencil around my fingers while glancing beside me to have a look at Taehyung, who was turning the pages in amusement.
A sudden creepy smirk found a way on his face which made me scrunch my nose in irritation.
He is acting weird.
I rolled my eyes and took a look at Jungkook, who was leaning against the exam paper not caring to solve anything which left me sighing in defeat.
I went back to my exam sheet and started to solve what I was capable of since I wasn’t really smart to know all of the questions but enough to let me pass.
The exam ended, and we handed out our answers to the class teacher then went to the rooftop with Taehyung, but Jungkook didn’t accompany us since he said he was busy with something.
I layed down and closed my eyes with my face facing the sky. I felt Taehyung do the same with his elbow brushing against mine, but I didn’t react to that since I know there must be something more on his mind.
“Why aren’t you asking?” Taehyung stated, catching me off guard.
“Ask about what?” I asked back but kept my posture.
“I’m aware that you feel the tension growing day after day, so why aren’t you asking about what’s going wrong?” He elaborated.
I stayed silent for a moment before saying calmly, “I know your world is different from mine. Also, Jungkook had a mental breakdown at Jin Hyung’s place a couple of days ago so I felt like it’s not my place to ask.”
He made an O sound with his mouth, making me take a sly glance at him. His eyes looked like they wanted to tell me something but at the same time, they looked hesitant.
“If you wanna talk, you know I’m all ears,” I stated, looking back up at the sky.
“Did you do well on your exam?” He asked out of nowhere.
He is avoiding the topic. Okay, suit yourself.
“Did YOU?” I asked back, receiving a hum from him.
“You’ll be surprised,” I chuckled at his confident remark.
“Yeah Yeah,” I sarcastically said back with a slight smile.
“What do you want?” Taehyung suddenly said, making me look at him in wonder.
“I came to ask about Jimin,” A familiar voice made me jump in my place so I looked at it which belonged to that Angel Hoseok.
“Did Namjoon cast him away?” Taehyung asked as he sat properly and then stood up to stand face to face with the Angel.
What is happening here?
“Huh! Cast him away? But for what?” Hoseok asked, looking as clueless as me.
Taehyung sighed, running his finger in his locks, saying “The thing is. Jimin got defiled, and Namjoon can’t afford having defiled Angels in Heaven so I guess he just cast him out of Heaven.”
“Wait what! Can’t you cure him?” I was too fast to speak that I quickly placed my hands on my mouth, uttering a sorry after because I felt it wasn’t my place to speak.
What is wrong with me wanting to mingle with Angel’s affairs!
“Even though being defiled is considered an illness but for Angels, I can’t heal that because being defiled or not is God’s choice which means no I can’t,” Tae answered me.
“Are you saying that God doesn’t want Jimin anymore? I don’t quiet understand. He is the only one in Heaven who has the power of remembering,” Hoseok rubbed the back of his neck in annoyance.
There is a big misunderstanding.
“Hmm, Guys! Have you ever thought that whatever is happening right now might actually be some kind of a misunderstanding? Like there might be something bigger than Jimin being defiled, or Jungkook losing his memories, or Taehyung and I being connected with a curse?” I decided to blurt out the bottled up words I wanted to say since the very beginning.
Taehyung snapped his head at me with worry suddenly filling his eyes as he said, “Do you know something?”
I titled my head in utter confusion as a Huh escaped my mouth, but he was quick to brush it off and go back to the conversation he was having with Hoseok.
“No, I don’t know where Jimin is. Hope next time we meet would be for something important,” Taehyung stated and walked past Hoseok to the rooftop’s door to go downstairs since the school’s bell rang.
I bowed to Hoseok and followed Taehyung down. While going down, I asked, “What’s with the sudden change of attitude?”
“What do you know Yoongi?” He replied with another question.
“I only know what you tell me and as far as now is, there is nothing I know. I don’t know what your sin is. I don’t know why Jungkook is angry with you. I don’t know what’s happening in Heaven. I know nothing so don’t burden yourself,” I sadly smiled at him and started to walk away.
He used to say that there is nothing to hide from me. Yes, I was a little bit pissed by the way he was saying it, but in the end, I felt relieved that there is someone who wants to be truthful to me.
Maybe he thought we could be real friends. I know he was being constantly irritating to lighten up my mood. He wasn’t serious most of the time, so when I see him serious, I feel a little scared. Just like now.
His eyes were showing a glimpse of fear, something I didn’t quiet grasp. Was he scared to lose something? Or was he worried that he might get involved in something?
I sighed internally and shook my head to clear up my mind form the mess it was in because of all the thinking I’m lately doing.
The school day ended up being as boring as ever and it was just another typical day of work.
Taehyung hadn’t been accompanying me since I confronted him about him lying to me about the curse being painful.
He actually told me that he still feels the pain, but it lasts for seconds since his body regenerates at a faster rate than the pain being spread.
I understood most of what he said, but I deeply felt sad because I wanted to have him by my side as much as I could.
Time passed fast as I found myself walking back to my house, a place I’m not really fond of since no one is there other than that monster of a father. Even mom isn’t there as she said she’ll be leaving for some days because of her work.
I got inside the house and knocked on my father’s bedroom door. He opened for me with a cigarette between his lips, saying “What?” He blew the toxic air in my face as he asked.
I held out the money I got from work today and put it on display for him to take.
He deeply frowned, saying “Why are the amount getting less and less over time?”
He snatched the money from my hand and started to count them with irritation filling his voice every moment he says a new number.
I flinched and started to shrink in my place as I felt his hand harshly get in contact with my head. My body jerked at the sudden contact, and I almost fell, but I tried to steady myself.
Taehyung and Jungkook aren’t here.
I thought they were just being invisible just like always.
I gave a sad smile feeling how pitiful I must look right now. My body stayed still as my father’s body moved towards me.
The toxic smell still felt sore to my lungs as I gave a slight cough but quickly placed my hand on my mouth, hoping he didn’t hear.
“You are sensitive to smoke. I think I need to put it off,” as he said those words, my eyes traced his hand which was holding the cigarette.
In no time, I felt stinging pain slightly above the collar of my shirt. I yelped and fisted my hands when I finally grasped what he has done.
“Now you won’t cough, right?” He smirked at me the moment I glanced at his face.
The cigarette slipped from his hand and fell in front of my feet as I watched him go back to his room and slam the door behind him.
I kneeled down and held up the cigarette and went to the kitchen to throw the remains in the bin then went to my room.
I held up a mirror and looked at the new scar, saying “welcome to the collection.”
I swallowed up the tears which were threatening to leave because of the stress my mind and body were in.
Before Taehyung came back to my house, I decided to change my clothes and hide the scar carefully to avoid worrying him. He already has a lot on his plate.
I smiled when I looked at my reflection in the small mirror, and the moment I sat on the bed, a voice spoke, “Do you want help?”
I abruptly looked around the room to see the speaker, and eventually saw Jungkook standing by the room’s door.
He invited himself inside my room and sat beside me on my bed, saying “Tell Taehyung to heal it. He’ll be more than glad to do that for you.”
However, I smiled while fidgeting with my fingers and relaxed my tensed shoulders, replying “Even if he could heal this one, he wouldn’t be able to heal the pain in my heart.”
That’s why I never allowed him to heal any of my scars because there are always new ones going to come.