Insanity Online! The Forging Of A TRUE NORD

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Learning A New Language,..Not Sure I Want To

(Mickey’s POV)
Taking off my headset I see the time to be 8:08 but Zach hasn’t knocked on my door yet. Strange.

Getting off the bed I walk outside my room and head over to his. Knocking on the door I hear nothing so I peek inside and confirm it. The guy’s still playing!

I’d usually leave him alone since I know he’d prefer to just game rather than go to school, but he hasn’t missed a day of school ever, not a single day! Even when he had a fever he still came in, and slept, but still came nonetheless.

So it must be pretty important whatever he’s doing in there to stop him going to school. Hmm, if I remember correctly there’s that system…

Heading back to my room I put on my D-lute and turn on my Skype. Finding Zach’s Skype (why I have it when we live in the same house? For holiday gaming purposes) I see him to be online so I send him a message.

Hey Zach, aren’t you getting up for school?

According to some forum posts the D-lute allows friends to Skype eachother via the headset. It’s one of those things that allows friends to meet up in game more easily

It’s a matter of life and death

Those words were enough to convince me. Zach’s quite serious when it comes to gaming. If he says it’s a matter of life and death then it’s a matter of life and death.

Though I wonder…what kind of monster is he battling?

(Zach’s POV)

6 hours and thirty minutes. Only one and a half hours to go. Thank you Mickey for giving me notice that victory is at hand…but...

“Mmm, Kal that tickles hihihi”


She’s started this a few minutes ago, and it’s just gotten worse.

She’s n-n-nnibbling my neck! And it feels quite goo-Nonono it doesn’t.

She’s nnnibbles tenderly (nonono) and now her wet tongue is drawing circles! Aaaaah it sends shocks down my spine but…NO!

And I thought today was going to be easier, but…


Minutes pass and many other things which I will never bring to light were muttered sweetly behind me. NO, go away sweet memories!

She finally calms down and goes silent once more.

Phew I survive for now. Almost let that pink atmosphere take over my head but I stay strong with the help of Gannor who haunts my waking thoughts with pleasure.

I stay silent *Gulp* trying my best to keep calm as I feel her nuzzle me. Breathe…Breathe.

I have nothing to do while I lie in this bed and although I’m forcing myself to stay viligant it gets quite difficult when I’m not under attack.

…Maybe if I had a book? That’s a great idea!

I remember the books that litter the floor in the other room but I have a slight problem getting out of bed; because her leg has gone over mine and with her arms I’m locked in and powerless. I feel just like those wolves I massacred yesterday, I think I got the idea from this. The feeling of powerlessness, being trapped and unable to do anything sets my heart racing-WAIT WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT nonononono!

Shaking my head vigorously I scatter the thoughts and let my heart calm down some.

I can make my way out but I’d have to t-ttouch her leg and take it away.


I slowly unclasp my left hand from hers and move it down to where I can feel her leg trapping mine.

Laying my hand on the soft, smooth appendage my heart *Thumps* hard in my chest. *GULP*
I glide my hand down her leg feeling some hidden muscle in her legs and as I stop when the leg thins enough for me to grab securely I hear soft panting

“Don’t stop now…touch me…more”

NONONONONONONONONONO GANNOR OH HELP ME WHYYYYYYYY? She’s awake and her voice is so soft and se-NO STOP! But the way she’s pantin-NO NO NO

Taking my hand back to my chest I feel my heart crashing against my chest. Breathe, BREATHE.
Her hand grabs mine and smoothly intertwines with mine not helping my condition in anyway whatsoever!

“Don’t be scared, I like it…verrrry much”


Letting Gannor come into my mind to destroy the pinkness that’s invading, I slowly calm down into my usual red-faced self (I’m still extremely embarrassed ok!).
Seems she’s not attacking any further right now.

I stay still as stone god knows how long (thinking of Gannor brutally killing me in the forest and chasing me when I revived again), when I feel her moving behind me (oh that feels-NO).

Her body moves away from mine but her heat stays wrapped on me. Her hands slip back away from sight and I feel her hot breath tickle my ear

“Now peek, ok”

Where’s the DON’T. Tell me you forgot to say it.

Hearing her slip off the bed and the ruffle of fur I hear her “tch” and figure that to be the sign she’s dressed.

Getting up, I re-equip all my things and walk briskly to the door…but she catches me before I take a step

“I’ll see you tonight too” With a quick kiss of my neck she sends me off

Diving into the snow I silently rejoice at my victory.

Standing up I quickly peek around to see no one in the vicinity and sneak off back to home.
Dropping onto my mattress I log off.

Taking off my helmet I curl up and sleep for real this time.


(Mickey’s POV)

Now where is that bastard? Its lunch time and he’s still not here. How nasty a battle was he having and is it still going on?

Well seeing as though I’m at school I can’t answer any of my questions, but more importantly…I need food!

Gah I forgot that Zach’s the one who grabs my food from the canteen almost all the time and since he’s not here I have to queue. Damn, I hate queuing.

Flopping out on my desk I groan in sync with my stomach but soon forget the hunger at the sight of the Missy coming in. Her elegant beauty never fails to take my breath or anyone else’s for that matter.

She is quite the beauty, especially with some grand double E knocks bouncing with every step. Oh I’ve been sent to the infirmary a whole 4 times since my two years in this place. But that’s still below average for the guys.

Top on the list is poor Dylan; a record keeping 68 times in one term. He was her sparring partner in judo club and that term they were doing holds. He became our best source of info to date about her body sizes although suffered much for it. 22 of the times he got sent into the infirmary was due to her holds and chokes while the other times were because it was his turn.

Men are weak to boobs, some especially so. She has some pretty effective weapons there and many take a dive (literally in some cases) to cop a feel. Pretty pervy, but we’re growing boys. We need to learn about the beauty of breasts!

Though that trend stopped the minute it started really; when Kennedy tried to get a grab in mixed rugby. I’ve never seen a German suplex before but I could tell it hurt, a lot.

Thanks to that and a substantial number of repeats of boys getting demolished in various ways she gained the nickname ‘Mistress of Disaster’. I tried once and after, I couldn’t feel my son for a week.
Ah I’m drifting, I gotta sleep more. But seeing her look angry due to Zach not being here keeps me awake, because I know I’ll be hunted for information in due time.

Like suspected she turns towards me and stomping over she looks at me with her cold blue eyes.
“Where is he?”

“Matter of life or death he said”

“…I see…Death it is then”

Maybe I should have come up with a better reply, but Zach’s problems ain’t my problems (Sorry bro).

Stomping off she leaves as abruptly as she comes. Shrieks come from the corridor. Ah she’s going to be causing havoc once again.

I never quite got their relationship because they seem like friends but also not.

Well Zach’s problems are Zach’s problems.

I’ve got my own tiredness to sort out


(Zach’s POV)

I’m once again walking back through Thalia’s door as the sun sets behind me. Seems like when I logged off, I slept a good 4 hours.

Lunch started IRL but I don’t have time for such pleasures. Right now I’m keeping a promise and will be half done by the next in-game morning.

Taking a deep breath I head into the house and am greeted by the (thankfully) clothed Thalia who gives me a wink before heading off to the bedroom.


“Yes” She appears once again with a curious expression

“Can I take a book to bed?”

“Tch…I guess you can, but wouldn’t you rather stare at me all night”

Aaaah I wou-Nono

“P-pplease help me find something good to read”

She does a little sigh before she taps her finger on her lips glancing round at the books. She finally takes a couple of steps, crouches down and picks up a reddish coloured book with nonsensical symbols etched on the cover.

“This one will be an enticing read”

…I’m not convinced I should have let her chosen but I take the book anyway.

Being guided to the bed I un-equip (never will I say undress) and head into bed with my new companion.

Thalia gets in behind me and starts to snuggle (RESIST THE FEELING, YOU CANNOT FEEL THOSE LOVELY BIG-NONONO!!).

Getting past the initial attack I open up the book and begin to read.

Wah it’s so interesting. The story is so intense, so dramatic. I’ve never read anything like this before.

If you can’t tell, I’m being utterly sarcastic.

I’m looking at the book…I’m looking. But I’m not seeing any words. All I see is some weird symbols following one another in long lines.

Closing the book I see some are duplicates from the front. Ah, so they are words, but completely messed up.

Or it’s a different language but I do not know how to read it in the slightest.

“Say it with more passion” she moves up and says ‘passion’ gently in my ear
What? NO!

“H-have you got a dictionary for this language?

“Oh you don’t know how to? Oh wait who am I kidding I forget you’re still young meat” I swear she just licked her lips *Shiver* “hmm, I think I do have one, let me get it for you”

She slides out of bed and walks outside the room (I of course bury my head in the pillow because I am not looking, I want to-NO I don’t brain, no I don’t.). A few seconds later I hear her walk back in and lay a book in front of me.

“Now let me sleep, teddy” she giggles slightly

Shaking the embarrassment away I open up the dictionary. Time to get to work.

Luckily the dictionary had a hand-made front page with the whole alphabet in the front and their English equivalents. Interesting.

Using that I decipher the first line

Well that makes no sense.

After taking a short while I exchange the symbols for the letters in the English alphabet and end up with: Kathla czejitten, nario, nan shan juske dar.

A complete mess I believe. I may be wrong because when I try it in my crappy French accent it actually sounds decently proper…

Oh wait. I have a dictionary in my hands.

Flipping through the pages I find the equivalent of Kathla and with glee I…Oh I don’t have anything to write on, or with for that matter.

“If you’re looking for something to write on…how about you use my leg” I feel her leg slide up mine and stretch out next to the dictionary.

Just let me work in peace! My brain gets clouded with pink seeing her slender soft-looking grey leg. Wait nonono. Shake my head vigorously

“I-I I don’t have anything to write with”

She slides away from me and gets up “I’ll get some ink for you. But are you sure you’re not doing this because you want to see my naked body in the dark?”

“N-nnn-NO of course not! I seriously want to learn what’s in the book”

“Oh I’ll teach you”

“N-nn-nno that’s fine, I can do it myself”

“Trust me, it’ll be extremely difficult”

She tutts slightly as she once again disappears and soon re-snuggles back into bed.
I take my eyes out from the pillow (I wasn’t looking of course) and find a quill and ink pot in front of me. Great.

“Umm I still don’t have anything to write on”

“What are you talking about? You have my leg”

Nonono I am not touching you. I learnt last night that it brings danger. But since she’s hugging me really tightly (which feels so goo-NO!) it looks like she’s not going to move anymore tonight.

Damn. I have no choice. It’s either this or have waking nightmares of Gannor all night again and I’m getting pretty terrified of the endless self-brutality.


Slowly dipping the quill in the ink I begin to jot down the English version of the words on…her leg.

Oddly enough the ink is an ocean blue going strangely perfectly with her skin. At least I won’t have to worry about not being able to read the writing due to color problems (because black and grey, not too much of a difference).

Moving on. My translation speed is going at a decent rate but I have to first find the direct English alphabet conversion and then its dictionary meaning. So it takes quite a while.

After about an hour, I’ve done one page filling up about a flat-hand sized space (ok 2 in my small hand’s case) with words, on the lower part of her leg. I write pretty small and on numerous occasions the teacher has accused me of getting a girl to write my tests. That was not fun when the case got sorted out. His accusations of “this is obviously a girls writing, look how tiny and clean it is. There’s no way a guy could write so beautifully” were remembered quite awkwardly when I was proven innocent.

Funny thing though. Missy was accused of having a guy do her test (Any guy would if she asked). So I guess there are all kinds in this world.

Back to the point; I look at the words once more… and still they make no sense whatsoever:
Dear reader, welcome, Book all for follow suss eight of fourty with new lucky seats from pointy taken dark. Book this of tell fire pain…

I just can’t bear to go on. It’s like I’ve thrown a light novel into Google translate.

Cringing away from the badly translated work, I flip the pages of the book till I find a page which looks…well exactly the same as the rest but there seems to be a title so it looks like a good place to start. Why I am doing this? Well to check if it’s my translation or its just crazy talk at the start.

A thing I noticed in the first page was the obvious lack of it, the and other similar types of words (the ones that make things sound a bit less blocky. I always slept through English class so I missed the lesson when they taught what they were called).

Translating the title I get: two and thirty Swan flutter.

That makes…no sense whatsoever.

Maybe its grammar. Oh god, I forgot languages have grammar. Reading this book may be harder than I thought.

Well I have a dictionary but apart from that I don’t really have much else to go on…Time for trial and error.

But first…I’m going to take a break because she’s panting quite loud (don’t know how the quill feels but apparently quite good!?! Maybe I should try it on myself? WAIT what am I thinking?!).

Relaxing for a short while and letting Gannor enter my thoughts to block the pink ones that come with her panting. Panting, Gannor is panting. Yes, Gannor not Thalia. I convince myself pretty well I think…

Anways, getting back to work when it’s quiet, I start to move around words that should be there but aren’t (usually just swap two around or move it up one or two words). The easiest is the numbers since they go backwards. Next easiest is the sentences that don’t look like a complete mess, such as; Lines up go become Lines go up.

That’s the easy stuff out of the way. The rest becomes pretty hellish.

After roughly 4 hours of fiddling I’ve figured out a couple of rules:

1st, no ‘smoothening’ words (like am or it) exist but are made dependant on the vowels that are next to eachother on separate words (So: Jir[e a]rino means you are soft. Nice to know I know the words but what?

2nd, the shortest length a word can be is 4 symbols. Why the dictionary gives for 3 ones like ‘dar’ I not know. Maybe if they’re in a sentence they must be 4 or more and now you ask but why do they have ones like ‘dar’ in the sentence? Well apparently you join 2 or more words together if they are shorter than 4 symbols length until they are so or more. (So Jin Kreano ataney dar is basically Jindar kreano ataney).

3rd, forget the 2nd rule when the words of length’s less than 4 symbols are 3 or more words apart. Apparently that makes them stand alone words that don’t use the rule, irregulars. Annoying thing is, all those words can use this rule or the 2nd one.

4th, words without vowels mean nothing. Although they have meaning in the dictionary, they don’t exist in the sentence (So: Kaio czty ontt nana eiono talak means with clamshell gentle hand push away. Remove czty and it becomes with a gentle hand push away).

5th, words without vowels have meanings if they are beside irregulars (remember the 3rd rule). A lot simpler than the 4th rule since when you removed it you had to check for new ‘smoothening’ words that may or may not have popped up.

SO with those rules in tow I can translate a decent amount of my picked page.
After a couple of minutes I translate this:

32. Swan Flutter (Huh it actually was the title, who’d have guessed)
To practice the swan flutter one must have a partner who will be their wings. Remember to smoothen one’s self with oil of corknut or adjar (translations were that, not my doing) for friction will cause pain not bring pleasure. First you must lay your partner on a soft surface or they will be burnt. They should be face down but those experienced in the Swan Flutter may try on their backs. Take partners left leg and bend till back of heel touches head, to stretch their joints and not be harmed later on. Then place their legs spread and bent towards them, like wings…

It continues on and I am not quite sure if I regret reading on

So it continues on with warming up and making sure your partner is safe and well looked after till it gets to the Swan Flutter itself. Quite smart naming as it explains in explicit detail how to make your partners legs move like its fluttering as wings (not specifically like a swan but that’s naming flavor).

I slam the book shut and look at the symbols which is the book’s title
“The...Karmasutra, Delven edition”

So I push the book away before I plant my face in my hands. WHAT HAVE I JUST READ??

I know my parents never told me to judge a book by its cover but…I can’t believe what I just read.

I spent 7 hours. 7 HOURS, trying to figure out what the words on the page meant. And I finally find it to be instructions on a sex POSITON?!? I swear I feel blood dripping from eyes after reading that. Especially since it’s written on Thalia’s leg!! Aaaaah whyyyyy?

-1 (119/120)

I knew I shouldn’t have trusted her with picking a book but she’s an alchemist, I thought she would have given me an alchemy book at least! Also why does she have this-
“Ooh the swan flutterer, I’ve always wanted to try that one out”

NEVERMIND . OH GOD OH GOD nononononononono. I shake my head furiously to get rid of the surfacing image.


I let the heat on my face cool and the images to dissipate before I bring the back to me.

Why? Because I’ve spent 7 hours learning and figuring out this book. There’s no way I’m going to let that effort go to waste and it distracts me from the dangerous creature at my back.

Also I’m a growing boy, so I’m not immune to this. No, this forbidden book is every man’s dream as it’d make…it…interesting. M-mmaybe Missy likes this sort of thing too.

Just the thought of Missy laying on her back as I help her-WAIT NO, WAIT YES, WAIT I’M SO CONFUUUSED!



So on the possibility that Missy may…enjoy the contents of this book. I fervently read it (I’m not reading because it’s attending to my growing desire as a man, nooooo…well maybe a little bit).

4 hours pass…

I have only translated 10 pages from the beginning and all were just introductory pages talking about the 48 positions that will be mentioned in the book.

Anyways, I shut the book as the day comes round and push it under the pillow, before taking it out again because it’s not my pillow.

Thalia gets up trying to provoke me into sneaking a peek (Almost got me there when she said to look at my writing on her leg, she thought she spotted a mistake somewhere. Almost got me turning round there).

Her entire lower left leg is filled with my writing which seeing as though it’s 10 pages worth just shows how small my writing is. Thank god for my 20/20 vision.

Taking the ink-pot and books I store them beside the bed and while equipping my things I head outside.

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