Insanity Online! The Forging Of A TRUE NORD

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Everyone Wants A Piece Of Me...Whyyyy

“Yowlll”

“No point yowling kitty, you’re as good as dead” I reply to the lynx’s yowling as it gets ice chained
You don’t need to know the brutal details that happen next…

Skinning the dead Lynx and picking the surrounding berries, we take a break.

While munching on our bread we recount what we’ve done today; After leaving the dungeon (through death) we decided to go kill a couple more lynxes.

I say a couple but we’ve literally spent the past 9 hours roaming round the forest killing lynxes.

Literally 100 lynxes. That’s our kill count over these 9 hours. This gave us 2 silver 40 copper, 22 teeth and 200 squares of hide. Also we ended up gaining 2 levels and my bar is at 10% right now. Level 13, whoo! Sadly the lynxes are giving us 1% on our bar now so they aren’t great to hunt anymore.

I mean 2 levels in 9 hours is quite terrible efficiency.

Also we’ve come across a couple of problems.

The first being equipment. Our axes (and dagger) are pretty much on the verge of being broken and our armor doesn’t fare much better.

The next is bag space. Since we’ve collected 4110 snowberries, they take up quite some space (although can take up to 999 in a stack) and altogether weigh 41 kilos. Then we have the 294 squares of hide which only take up once space but weigh 147 kilos. The teeth weigh a bit but not too much so they’re too much of a hassle.

Luckily we can carry up to 100 kilos (+1 per strength point) each or 24 bag slots worth of items. So right now we’ve almost completely packed two of us and its only our second day in the forest!

Anyways, we haven’t done much but grind lynxes and explore the immediate forested vicinity.

As suspected the forest rings the village for a couple of kilometers and then there seems to be a few different things if we leave the forest: In the west is a long plain as far as the eye can see, in the north the same and in the south the forest continues for a lot more. In the east, past the cave the terrain gets mountainous so we guessed its mountains or hills.

Since its sunset we quickly find a lynx-less place and start our log-off and recuperate routine.
Husky logs off first this time, so I’m left with Jöt to play with the ice platforms.

We do the whole air jumping, platform running and then heading back down (broke my legs again) for a good 2 hours before Jöt decides to do something new.

He starts forming platforms where I can’t jump above for some reason and then with an “oh” I figure it out.

Thank god I practiced flips with Husky the other day.

Yes, he has me flip and push off the platfom’s underside and then bounce off a platform and repeat. Quite interesting to say the least but flipping in midair and catching the platform (which is only about the width of an average book’s spine) is quite the task.

Even after I do it correctly I have to flip again and bounce off the other platform, a lot harder when you do it against gravity.

I injured myself and the watched Jöt practice the basics. Parkour in midair is not easy.

Husky logs back after the allotted time and I log off myself.

Taking off my headset I grab a towel that’s hanging off the door and have my 3 minute shower (quite long I know, but I haven’t washed in 2 days so I take my time).

Drying up I head downstairs and see everyone eating lunch. Well it is Saturday so I was expecting everyone to be down here anyways.

Martha is cooking what I believe to be carbonara (pasta) while Layla is pestering Mickey with a trillion questions about what he’s been doing all day.

Mickey half-heartedly answers and upon seeing me directs the beast towards me (god dammit Mickey).

Sitting at the table I get BARRAGED (she spits questions out like machine-gun fire) with questions about what I’ve been doing in game. Fun fact, Layla’s a growing gamer. But her mother doesn’t allow her to play so she’s stuck with just watching. Maybe I should introduce her to Missy, they’d get along really well

..
.
OH GOD, I forgot to bring her lunch yesterday. I’m going to be soo dead on Monday! I think I might bring Layla in as a sacrifice, hmm that should work, hopefully.

Finally remembering that I’ve missed a day of school, I don’t really mind honestly, but Missy is a different matter.

I’m going to enjoy my weekend as if it were my last…

Anyways back to Layla who somehow is still asking questions (she must’ve asked like 50 already).

“I killed cats, picked berries and did a lot of running” that…pretty much sums up my entire day. I mean I did do leatherworking and reading but that was yesterday so doesn’t count.

Sadly that didn’t answer any of Layla’s questions which are leaning towards this ‘Rered’ fellow I heard about from Mickey earlier. Seems he’s becoming quite the thing on the forums.

“Ah Layla I’m a bit stuck somewhere so I don’t know anything about ‘Rered’. Mickey is in the same city as him though”

He gives me a slight death glare as I redirect the beast to him.

After a few minutes of dutifully answering her mountain of questions the food comes out.

Munching on our pasta I once again get barraged by questions, but from a different beast this time.

“Zach, why did you not go to school yesterday, your homeroom teacher called saying you weren’t in”

“Ah, I was on the verge of death” (A half truth)

“Wow you have quite a good recovery rate to be so fine today”

“Amazing right?” I flash a cheeky grin

“Well you really should get off your game sometimes, at least twice a day for food because you didn’t eat anything yesterday either”

“Well I had a bit of my peanut butter”
“At least take some fruit if you’re going to have a snack” She seems to lose the will to fight. She never had a mother’s diligence to interrogate their children about their habits and lifestyle. I am quite grateful for that though as she lets me do as I please in my room as long as I don’t go mad.

With the conversation ended I finish my meal and head back upstairs.

Settling down in my bed I go to log on when I hear this huge banging sound downstairs
“ZAAAAAACH YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO GET OUT HERE. 19…18”

Guess I won’t have to wait till Monday…

Flying off my bed I race downstairs and soar to the door.

Ripping open the door (not literally, I’m not that desperate, well not that strong) I come face to face with a quite angry Missy (Ohhh no, this isn’t good).

*Bam*

Before you ask, no, it isn’t the sound of her beating the living daylight out of me, it’s the sound of her beating the living shit out of me.

..
.
She stops after I’m an unrecognizable pulp by the door(well ok, not thaaat bad, but still my face is swollen from being hit, multiple times without mercy). What can I say; she takes after her Father, probably.

“Now…explain”

Whyyyy? Isn’t the law in England ask first beat up later? But I’ll explain anyways or she may completely pulverize me.

“I boz bighig ohh a ainjeroh monha” If you have ever tried to speak with a severely swollen face, you know I’m trying my best to pronounce the words correctly here.

“Ah I see. But was it really that dangerous, enough to incur my wrath?” She cracks her knuckles.
She understands what I’m saying because…this isn’t the first time.

“Heh huly ainjeroh”

“Well you wouldn’t lie to me would you now?”

I swear her father’s been giving her some lessons recently

“No no no o horh noh”

...She doesn’t start beating me up again so I think answered correctly

“…8pm at my place”

If it were not Missy, my face would be heating up right now (if it capable of doing that, but I know the routine…

With that she storms away with a slight skip in her step I think? (my eyes are a bit blocked by my swollen face).

Oddly enough I don’t feel terrible like I’ve just had the crap beaten out of me; I feel a bit happy (although in pain), I wonder why?

Closing the door, I get up from the floor and I head to the kitchen.

“Oh go-oh wait it’s not that surprising” Thanks Martha for being so caring.

Taking out a roll of linen from the freezer (we became prepared for this quite a while back) she starts bandaging my face. Somehow she’s able to do enough to make it swell but not enough to hospitalize me; I’m terrified at what else her father has taught her.

After my entire face is bandaged with only a small slit for my eyes to look through, Martha decides that covers all the swollen parts (didn’t she just mummify my face? I mean I’m not that ugly).
Heading upstairs I diligently put on my helmet

..
.
Error! Cannot read face.

Ah, oops. I take off my bandages (Mah I’ll just be mummified at school) and put the helmet back on

..
.
Error! Face is unrecognizable
...
..
.
Now that’s just mean!

Scanning…scanning for semblance of humanity

I feel like the D-lute is making fun of me.

Ah! Retina scan successful. Congratulations, you’re human!

How does a recognition system have sass? Oh wait it is run by that girl isn’t it. Allie was it?
“Allie stop fooling and log me in already”

Pfft, sorry it’s just looks like you’ve had a hard time the hour and 13 minutes you’ve been offline

“I have woman problems offline and online. You should know about the latter half”

Well that isn’t a problem, according to my sources about 98% of male population in the same situation-

“SHHHHHHH I have circumstances!!!”

Maybe playing a female character has affected your tastes?

Whyyyyy? Do all females have something against me today???

“NO NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST”

Believe in yourself. Ok I’ll log you in now.
Ah good.

..
.
WAIT A SECOND. DIDN’T I JUST TALK TO ALLIE? I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST AVAILABLE TO HELP IN THE CHARACTER CREATION.

With that thought I wake up to a most wonderful sight:

“AAAH JÖT STOP IT!”

“You dare question my authority? Have another”

“NO PLEASE, NO MORE”

..
.
Just what is happening?

In front of my eyes is one Husky jumping on platforms in the air while 2 small icicles are pricking his backside.

Oh and let’s not forget Jöt who is standing in the snow laughing maniacally while stabbing himself (for rage, not because he’s mad. Possibly).

I…think I should just log back off.

But alas Lady Luck rears her ugly head once again.

“Ah Kal…I was getting bored teaching Husky over here”

Teaching?!

He turns round to look at me (wait how’d he know I was here without looking?) and lets all the platforms disappear.

“You see we we’re doing jumping and Husky “AAAAH” said it was too *Crack* boring, so I spiced it up a bit. Also since I’m in combat I can maintain the training for longer”

Husky, I think you have awoken a sleeping beast. I check how he’s doing; his butt in the air with two icicles poking out as well as two broken legs. He’s juuust fine (well he isn’t dead at least).

“So, umm what do you need me for?”

“Well since you didn’t come on in time I haven’t gotten my break. So I thought I’d take my break in half an hour. Until then how about we train”

Holding a blood soaked knife with a smile as he tells me this, I’m not sure I want to train (also seeing Husky rolling on the ground half-crying about his butt/broken legs…I’m terrified).

But I don’t have an excuse not to, and it sort of looked fun (I’m a fan of platformers).

“Sure?”

Husky drags himself to a nearby tree (Arms only he looks a bit like a zombie).

“Jump when you’re ready”

I jump and immediately a platform forms.

Jumping off to the right I start the hopping game.

“Now let us truly begin”

I feel a coldness behind me but pay it no heed as I concentrate on landing on the platforms and then jumping off to the next one.

-5 (165/170)
WHAAAA? An ice needle just poked me in the butt!

Immediately I forget trying to land correctly and I try to bounce as fast as I can: Left, up, up , right, down, upside down?!

I slow down when I flip and look for the next platform
-5 (160/170)

“Faster”

Allright! Jumping down I bounce off to the right, up, up, up, behind?

Backflipping a wide arc I land onto the next platform
-5 (155/170)

Too slow again?

“Looks like you need some more prodding” He doesn’t beat around the bush does he?

Another icicle appears behind me.

Up, left left, backflip, drop, right, up, upside down, bounce, up, swing?
-5 -5 (145/170)

I hesitated for a second at the high platform. Jumping off (well pushed off) I grab and swing to the next platform.

Down, down, down, right, up, left, left, left, run!

Running on the platforms I sprint through 14 of them before leaping a metre or so distance to another platform.

Backflip?

Flipping back I see the platform and my head almost grazing it I bounce off of it still bent backwards.

Right, right, up, up, swing, side, swing?

A vertical square appears as I swing and I hesitate before I push off with two more holes.
-5 -5 (135/170)

“Faster”

I’m going as fast as I can you know!

Left
-5 -5 (125/170)
Right, up
-5 -5 (115/170)
Backflip, up left, down
-5 -5 (105/ 170)

Wait a second it’s getting a bit dangerous here!

Down, left, swing
-5 -5 (95/170)
Down, down
-5 -5 (85/170)
Le…Where’d they go?
-30 -5 -5 (45/170)

Face-planting onto the snow I take a bit of damage but I’m low enough so that I don’t break my legs (He’s figured out the minimum height!).

“You have two minutes rest”

Ha ha, I lie on the snow regaining a bit of breath. Husky sends me a little pitying glance.

“Don’t be panting already, this was only the warmup. I’m going to make you pay for being late” Whyyyy? Does everyone have something against me today?

Two minutes pass in a blink of the eye and I’m back to ‘training’.

First up is run dodging.

Having me run on the platforms while dodging mini icebolts coming from the front. Not too difficult but still a pain to duck and do cross step on the platforms

“Level 1 complete”

Ha ha. Another 2 minutes break.

Back to running but this time icebolts come from both sides as well as the front.

“Wait how is this level 2?”

“Impudence. Level 3”

WAIT WHAT ABOUT LEVEL 2?!

One homing icebolt in the back while 2 spawn from the other 3 sides (behind has the homing icebolts).

Flip, cross-step, dive, roll, jump, spin, dive, roll, cross-step, cross-step, duck, jump, dive, flatten.

It only lasts 10 seconds but when I flatten myself on the snow I’m at 25 health and full of mini icebolts.

Ha ha. Another 2 minute break.

“Fliptatstic, level 3”

WAIT A SECOND
-5 (165/170)

OK IM GOING!

Flip, flip, flip, flip jesus flip, flip, flip, flip, flip How many flips are there, fli-*smack*.

Flipping continuously is hard by itself. When buddied up with 2 icebolts prodding you if your flip parabola is too large and the fact that the platforms are thin then it’s complete and utter hell.

Though getting 9 flips in a row is enough to get me into a cheerleading squad so I did pretty well.
1 minute rest.

“Two digits or level increase”

“What happens when I flip more than 10?”

Jöt flashes an evil grin “Level increase”

WAIT A SEC-
-5 -5 (160/170)

I’M GOING I’M GOING

“Level 7”

WHYYYYYY?

Flip, flip up, flip down, flip left, flip left, flip, flip, flip up, flip up, flip down, flip right, flip to floor.
Holding my head, I let the nausea from continuous flipping lessen.

About 10 minutes has passed…So I have another 20 minutes of this hell?

Husky help! Wait, he can’t do anything right now!

“Climbing level 5”

Jumping towards the platform I start scrambling up the platforms

*Whoosh*

-5 (165/170)
An icebolt stabs from between the two platforms.

Scrambling up I sway from side to side trying my best to dodge the puncturing icebolts while little ones poke at my feet.

The platforms start going downwards with a lot of space in between and I start swinging from platform to platform and fail to dodge the icebolts in midair (how does one dodge in midair?).

Making my way to the floor I face-plant gladly and check my health: 25, close call there.

“Backfliptastic level 3”
OH C’MON!

-5 -5 (160/170)
WHYYYYYY?

Backflip, backflip, backflip, backfilp, ba-*Smack*

Now that I’ve failed I’m going to have to do it again on a harder level! I get back up and try the backflips again.

-5 -5 (125/170)
“No rest”

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!

Backflip, backflip, backf-*Smack*
*poke poke*
-5 -5 (85/170)

Stop poking there, it feels good thou-WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING, THIS ISN’T THE SITUATION TO THINK ABOUT THAT NOOOO!

…The pain(?) finally lessens as Jöt disperses the icebolts.
“2 minute break”

Ha ha. Man if I didn’t do dodge ball every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I would have died for sure!

I had joined the dodgeball club 2 years ago for some fun; although I quickly learnt it was quite harsh training.

We had these warm-up sessions where everyone would throw dodgeballs at one person and they’d have to dodge for 30 minutes.

The person either volunteered or was picked out randomly. I seemed to have quite bad luck getting picked every time. Also I remember a lot more boys joined up for every warm-up.

..
.
Now that I think about it…

But…I guess I’m finally grateful for the weekly warm-up’s I had with them because I learnt how to do backflips and flips of all kinds (I also did a bit of gymnastics on the side).

“You look tired”

“I can last a bit longer” I have my pride to take the punishment full on at least.

…I don’t think I should have said that

“Oh really” THAT GLINT IN HIS EYE! I REALLY SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT
“Hmm…we will try your endurance then”

..
.
This is bad…

“Umm Jöt I know I said I could last longer but I didn’t mean it this way”

Right now I’m lying in the snow (doesn’t sound bad right?) but there’s a small problem…
-1 -1 -1 -1 -1 -1 +3 (140/170)

A tiny ice needle is travelling up my leg, prodding me at 1 second intervals. Jöt had me eat some poor quality grass while he chomps on some too.

Thus I’m getting some acupuncture, and because of the health regen it’s lasted 3 minutes so far.

Needless to say, it’s uncomfortable (although my body feels really relaxed?) as the ice needle travels around my body poking here and there and over there as well.

Ayayayayay it huuurts!

Another 10 minutes pass and by now my body feels numb and a lot more holey than before, maybe I’ve been blessed? (Ok I’ll stop with the bad jokes)

Only 2 more minutes to go, only 120 more needles to go (Oh god, that number is terrifying)!

“You know acupuncture historically has two separate methods; the first being where you just prick like I am doing for short signal bursts or to keep the needle stuck so as to send a constant signal to your brain-”

…Oh right, I almost forgot; Jöt has been giving me a short history lesson on acupuncture (He knows a surprising amount, I think). I only half-listen though because well…I’m distracted by the needles who are slowly pricking me to death.

“Let’s try the second method shall we?”

And what was that again? Rest and recovery?
-1 -2 -3 -4 -5 -6 -6 -6 +3 (36/170)

AAAAAH THAT HURTS! I look down and see 6 NEEDLES STUCK IN MY BODY! I’M GONNA DIE! And since they’re stuck in my body they’re dealing constant damage.

-6 -6 (24/170)
Oh god oh god.
-6 -6 (12/170)
Goodbye sweet world, for I have somehow sinned and don’t know what I did. Whyyyyy?
-6 -6 (0/170)
“Oops” I’m not quite sure he actually means it

Ah well back to Glacia then
... +3
..
.
No darkness to come take me back? Wait I’m not respawning, but didn’t I die?
I check my health and sure enough I’m on 3 health??


People sometimes put themselves in extreme danger but somehow avoid their fates. How? Well due to theri abnormal amounts of Luck. For staying alive when by all rights you should have died, you have gained the Lucky trait



TRAIT:Lucky [lvl1]
You have escaped death and thus are divined as a Lucky being. You may find things go your way when they would not have normally. By leveling up this trait you improve your chances of being lucky.
Since you have been divined as lucky through surviving death by acupuncture, no other individual may become Lucky in such a way



..
.
I don’t know whether to laugh at the irony of the situation or be happy that my skill-whore self has gotten another skill.

“hehehe hahaha HAHAHA” Jöt is doing a great villain laugh for some reason.

“Please don’t kill me” I quickly prostrate myself

“Ah, don’t worry about that. I’ll let you off with a warning; Don’t ever make me miss my favourite TV show”

..
.
“EH?” You almost killed me for a TV SHOW? I know there are fanatical people out there but still…

“It’s on once a week, ONCE A WEEK and I MISSED it, missed it all because of you. Because I couldn’t leave Husky alone with our bodies!”

“Wait a second Jöt, don’t make me sound like some sort of pervert” Whines Husky as he rubs his legs (still broken).

“Ah…sorry, but YOU! You I am not sorry for, though you get to live this time”

Phew, I survived a TV fanatic who missed his favorite show. Maybe I really am lucky (the irony of having been in this situation though…).

“Thank you! But a question before you go” I see Jöt head for the log-out button and stop him.

“Oh, the laughing? It’s because I learnt the acupuncture skill”

..
.
He logs off leaving me and Husky looking wide-eyed at eachother.

“ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!”

…Damn, I chose scissor and he chose rock.

I’M NOT LUCKY AT ALL!!!

Lying on my back once more I let some sweat drip from my eye.

“I’m sorry Kal, but it’s for the sake of a skill” Oh the pains of skill-whores

Husky grabs a small twig and sharpens it with his axe

“Don’t worry about it; I may need to practice surviving this in case I wake the sleeping giant again”
“You and me both”

*Shiver* we think back at the past 30 minutes of hellish ‘training’

“Shall we get started?”

..
.
*Gulp*

“…Husky?” I see he’s shaking as he holds the sharpened twig above my legs.

“I..it’s just that….no I cannot do it”

“What? And lose up on a skill? Are you ok, did Jöt hit your head too hard?”

“He did, but that isn’t the point. How…how can I?”

“It’s ok, just take a deep breath and close your eyes”

“But then I won’t know where to put it”

“Don’t worry, I’ll guide it”

“O-ok i-I’ll try my best”

“Y-yes, please be gentle”

..
.
I thin-nah I’m just imagining things.

...

Now you don’t want to know the details but it took Husky the better part of an hour to acquire the skill; which is quite fast seeing as though Jöt took around the same time and he sounded like he knew the skill IRL.

Husky does have delicate hands and once again they show their use (although I would have preferred they didn’t).

Ah I did forget to mention, pain is set a 10% in the game so these past 2 hours have only been mild torture. Still torture but mild (I mean I’m a bit numb from my, ahem…talk…with Missy earlier so I don’t feel things as well right now).

I put up with it for two reasons: Jöt was kind of in the right since our bodies stay for a while when we log off and if something were to happen…we could potentially get stuck in Glacia forever (Gannor that’s why). The second reason was because I’d get a new skill, which Husky told me all about when he finally got it.

Apparently depending on where we apply the acupuncture we can get up to 1% increase in our STR or AGI. A verrry bountiful skill indeed, I can smell its usefulness in the late game.

He also mentioned, like the skinning, it became a minigame to prod the lights with precision.

Sadly(?) I don’t get to fill Husky with holes-I mean learn the acupuncture skill (it looks like someone’s shot me with a full round of a minigun, he took a while to learn where it actually counts as acupuncture and not simply stabbing).

With my skin becoming beautifully perfect once more (I feel my soft and supple skin, to check its still perfect, not what you’re thinking you self-pervs!) I stand up and we do a bit of tree running.
A couple of minutes later, Jöt logs back in looking away slightly awkwardly.

“Show was cancelled...…sorry”

At least you apologized for putting me through mild torture, so I forgive you. I shouldn’t hold grudges seeing as though this may be my last day on this earth (time of apocalypse is 7 O’ clock).

“Forgiven, but-”Cracking my knuckles “Give and take you know” I did say I shouldn’t hold grudges buuut when I watch my delicate white skin being baptized with needles, it pushes a button (I’m starting to get a bit protective of my new body, a bit).

However I don’t do it now since morning just came.

Time to get back to work

We head through the forest for about 5 hours killing 48 lynxes along the way (of course we pick another 1420 berries, wow I still can’t get used to saying that big a number).

Sadly the xp is quite terrible and we’re all just above halfway. However we had a reason to spend so freaking long killing lynxes. Firstly was because we needed to farm some more money (because we always need money) and the second reason was because Jöt and Husky were trying out their acupuncture (I decided to let in and learn it with the lynxes, I’ll enact my revenge another time).

Jöt knew a lot about acupuncture, a scary amount. Well people do have skills in RL too, but acupuncture? Though it does explain his lack of hesitation in stabbing himself (also the 10% pain may affect that too).

Anyways we learnt that when he taught us areas where it would work best and how to numb muscles with needles (we used sharpened twigs).

The result is that we started fighting with twigs. It felt like one of those ‘never bring a sword to a gunfight’ (twig to a catfight) sort of thing when we faced off the lynxes. But when they’re immobilized we can use spoons to kill them if we really wanted to.

Ah I did get the skill about 2 hours in (Thanks to Jöt).


Through repeated action and good instruction you have learnt a new skill. You have learnt the Skill: Acupuncture




SKILL:Acupuncture [lvl2]
Acupuncture was a device used in ancient days to relieve pains and numbness. However there have also been darker uses of this skill.
Acupuncture rating is determined by completion rate.
When used on an ally can increase STR or AGI by up to 2%


The Irony of the ‘darker uses of this skill’ doesn’t pass me…Anyways, we did use the skill on the lynxes but instead of a minigame we didn’t have any guides whatsoever (except Jöt).

However after our 5 hours we did learn how to use it pretty well (With good instructions from Jöt of course). The skill itself doesn’t benefit with the damage but it has a high chance of producing an abnormal status such as ‘stun’, ‘unconsciousness’, ‘sleep’, ‘blindness’ (needle to the eye, quite obvious) or even numbness. Numbness was pretty cool since it didn’t do much but get rid of pain, so when we stabbed the lynx a couple of times from the back it didn’t say a word. Sneak attacks that you don’t feel (well technically a sneak attack)? Completely broken I must say!

Anyways, that’s 5 hours used up and not even a single level gained…our leveling skills are truly the worst.

So after those 5 hours of complete slaughter we finally make our way to the end of the northern part of the forest.

We walk into the northern snowy plains which are so flat and empty it’s bizarre. Like not even a single monster is in sight.

Ignoring my screaming danger sensor, we walk forward looking for signs of monsters.

*Rumble*

Thaaat doesn’t sound good. I quickly glance round but I don’t see anything…
Underground?
...
..
.
Doesn’t seem like it.

I look at the others and they shrug their shoulders.

*RUMBLE*

It’s definitely from behind us coming from the forest, but what is it?

My question is answered seconds later but in a weird fashion: A big black wolf comes bounding out the forest. GANNOR!!?

We immediately assume attack positions…not. We RUN THE HELL AWAY.

Of course he reaches us within a few seconds but he doesn’t kill us...No, he actually runs past us giving what I swear to be a pitying look as he bounds way ahead of us.

What’s he running away for?

My question is answered seconds later (I should really stop asking questions) when a wall of wind buffets us sending us to the ground and soon a whole bunch of snow follows after.

Not an avalanche (thank god) but the snow floats in little bits in the air. That’s right; it’s a blizzard ladies and gentlemen

Standing back up in the white world I see…nothing.

Well I say see it but for the life of me I could not see a thing (but that may be because I got bowled over face-first into the snow by the wind).

So we could pretty much walk into a mountain if we’re not careful (or knowing my luck, much worse. The complete irony…).

I get back up and look around: yep I’m completely alone. If you’ve ever been in a blizzard or sandstorm before then you’ll know seeing your own hand is difficult. So seeing my two companions…that isn’t happening.

“HU-pthaptha” Rule number 1 for blizzard survival; don’t open your mouth in a blizzard.

Well if cannot speak then I will have to find with my own hands (although my hands have disappeared from my sight too).

..
.
Rule number 2 for blizzard survival; don’t walk around blindly in a blizzard.

After taking a couple of steps I realize I shouldn’t have done that. Now I’m completely and utterly lost (well I was before, but now I don’t even know my way back to the forest).

Ah! I can use that!

Opening up my map I immediately encounter a problem: You know when I said the blizzard lets me see almost literally nothing? Well even the window is obscured massively by the wind. I can see two red dots close to eachother but I have nooo idea where they are in relation to me.


Due to spending a long time out in the freezing cold without proper protection, you feel cold
STATUS:Cold
+25% satiety decrease, 25% movement and attack speed decrease



Oh god really? And wow that was quick, barely a few minutes and I’ve already got the cold status!

I throw the dice of fortune and charge to my right.

Immediately I feel the wind with a helpful hand lift me into the air

“I believe I can fly, I believe I can-”

*Smack*

-142 (28/170)

Rule number 3 for blizzard survival; don’t run with the blizzard…it’ll make you fly into mountain sides.

OWWW! Also I don’t know how far I’ve moved thanks to that (It was only a couple of seconds so it couldn’t have been that far). ALSO I had no idea blizzards could make me fly?! However I am quite small so I shouldn’t weigh that much.

Ok if running against the wind doesn’t work, run with it!

..
.
Rule number 4 for blizzard survival; don’t run against the blizzard unless you want to re-enact slow motion movie moments.

You know those movie moments when they are running in slow motion. Well make it slower. That’s exactly how I’m running right now…Maybe in an hour I’ll make it 100 metres. And thinking about where the wind first came from I’m sadly going the right way (I might freeze to death before I get back to the forest).

*Step, step, step*

*Pant*

Ok 3 steps done, a trillion to go.

After many minutes pushing against the raging blizzard my steps become easier, lighter, as if I was stepping on air

..
.
Rule number 5 in blizzard survival; look where you’re going or you’ll fall into a giant hole

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

My vision returns as I leave the blizzard (honestly I would’ve preferred to stay blind) to see a nest of ice stalactites rushing towards me.

Well I thought it’d only be Jöt who impaled me with ice but it seems Lady Luck wants to do some impaling too.

“WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEE!”

A stalactite gets closer and closer and its aiming for my stomach, no, lower. NO NOT THERE!
*Rrrip*

The ice stalactite impales my skirt and I feel the tip spearing between my legs and bursting out the other side. I start to quickly slow down due to friction

..
.
I..I’m not dead? And I feel no pain.
...
..
.
OH RIGHT! I I’m female! I’ve never been so happy(?) in my life, because that would be quite the impalement if I was a guy.



Through narrowly missing death in a possibly horrible situation where men would have died from the shock alone; you had a stroke of luck by being born female.
Due to lucky situation Lucky increases by 1 level.
No one else can become Lucky by almost being impaled in a man’s weak spot.



Even the system sort of agrees with me. And lucky increases by 1? I was wondering how to increase my level but like this?!

I finally reach a stop with my legs at almost a 180 (never shall I try this IRL)

In a moment of inertia my upper body falls and I grip onto the thick stalactite (how big is this thing?). However since its ice I kind of have a limited grip. Thus I start slipping down the stalactite
Upside down it almost feels like I’m falling…oh wait I am.

Yes gripping and ICE stalactite doesn’t really work so I end up falling down onto some ice
*Crack*

-143 (27/170)

I hope that wasn’t me!


STATUS:Broken Spine
Your spine is broken. -100% movement speed, no spinal support


It felt like one of those moments when you smell a fart in class and then say who was it…and you then realize it was you…

Anyways, I landed on my back with a god awful ‘crack’ sound. Thus my spine is broken.

...

Time to get moving. Ah but I have 100% movement speed decrease. No matter! I have 119% movement speed (due to speedy, wahaha!). I try to move my legs and hands…they do work somehow? (Must be that nerves are still intact or just a game thing?).

Quickly standing up…I flop to the ground face first.

..
.
Right, no spinal support…though my legs are still standing??

…I think I have an idea.
Pushing myself back up I hold the back of my head with my hands...

Aha it does work! (ook? well that’s odd)

So I stand upright-ish with my head being kept up with my hands.

With that sorted I begin moving.

Walking through the heaviest air in my life I start to tour around my fallen zone: the place is at the bottom of a large whole, actually massive and it’s quite far up. The stalactites that line the floor are like gargantuan pillars to me and I see the lower half of my skirt impaled on the one behind me.

Using my skirt as a base, I explore the rest of the area around the stalactites.

I walk around (really slowly) for a few minutes and finally make it round one stalactite.

A red spot of mulch is on the floor a little ways from where I am, hmm Husky or Jöt?

Moving towards it I notice that it has some white dotted fur. A snow leopard?

*drip*

I feel a drop of liquid bathe me and my vision turns red as the drop covers me head to toe.
…Wait red?

I look up (somehow I can still move it...definitely an odd game thing...)

..
.
Well I just walked into a horror game...

Above is a GIANT MAMMOTH impaled on the stalactites.

When I say giant, I mean HUMONGOUS. Like each stalactite is about 30 metres in length and 20 metres tall and the mammoth is impaled by 4 of them. That’s quite a big mammoth!

Better(?) still? The mammoth is dripping blood, and each drop, is well huge, as I found out a couple of seconds ago.

Since I’ve registered the bleeding and dead monster above me, like all good horror games, it starts raining blood.

Oh god.

I dodge the rain of blood …not (yeah that wasn’t happening since I can barely move right now). After I stand there for a couple of minutes the blood rain lessens and then finally turns into ominous drips.

Rubbing my bloody face with my equally bloody hands I accomplish nothing. I shake like a wet dog (ironic armor I know) and successfully clean up a bit. But when I’m literally lying in a small river of blood, it doesn’t make much of a difference.

Why I said I was lying, not standing? Well without spinal support the rain of blood literally crushed me. At least my face is above water (well blood).

Getting back up, I continue through the pillars. Why? Because I don’t want to stay here with a freaky dead mammoth above me, that’s why.

While I shuffle (I mean I’m really that slow) around the ice pillars I eventually get to see a large variety of (dead) monsters. Maybe they all flew like when I did in the blizzard?

Anyway, the monsters that I found were: Wolf, Lynx, Elk, small red patches which I believe to be bunnies, goblins, snow leopard, mammoth (only the impaled one so far, still haven’t figured out how I didn’t notice it as I fell) and what looks like a sabertooth (the large curved canine gave it away even though the patch was pretty much unrecognizable.

Damn…only Gannor can outrun a blizzard…

Oh yeah, my spine healed, finally, after 2 hours of walking around (like 20 pillars). And back to my usual sprint I quickly explore the rest of the pit within an hour.

Seems like this pit is just full of stalactites and dead animals. However I did find a large hole (about 30 metres in height, jeeeez) off the side of the pit.

Ok so there’s a way out.

Heading over there

Hey, Kal, you ok?

A message from Husky appears

HUSKY! I’m alive at least. Where are you guys?

We are back in the village.

Husky then went on to explain how both him and Jöt stayed still and held onto the ground for almost two hours until the blizzard died down (Rule number 6 of blizzard survival; Just don’t move, it’ll be better for your health). Then it seems the animals came out from various hiding spots and a saber tooth massacred them soon after.

While he explains the situation I walk down the hole and through a corridor

By the way Kal, where are you?

I’m in a pit of some kind, a lot of dead animals. But I’ve found a hole and making my way out
Want us to come get you?

*THUD*

I’m about to reply when a huge thud comes from in-front of me

“SCHVARROG DAN JÖTUNND CAIE-” An extremely loud man appears from the opened door in-front of me.
...
..
.
Wait, door? (I hadn’t been looking in front of me since I was busy typing, oops)

Wait, man? I look up at the giant blue man that walked through a humongous door.

..
.
Well that explains the size of those stalactites. To them they’re like tooth picks. The giant in question lowered his head as he walked through the supposedly 30 metre tall door. He was saying something to someone behind him with a laugh but stopped as he sighted…me.

Sadly I don’t get those hero moments where they have this abnormally long time to find a hiding spot when a big monster is coming. So of course I’m just standing in the middle of the corridor with 2 ice giants looming over me.


NAME:Frost Lord [Lvl???]
???/???


Frost lords, sorry. Well at least I know it’s so high level that I don’t even get to see its health.

“HUSCARL!” The front one shouts with glee and takes a huge hammer from his back.

Don’t bother coming for me, I’ll be back with you in a second

*SPLAT*

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