~ 10 ~
I sat on the grass in the flower field as I glared at the children’s book in my hand. I knew I had to open the thing and read it, but my fear from another anxiety attack prevented me from doing so.
The alpha told me about the book, is that why you asked me to meet you in the field? Clay asked me through the mind-link.
Yes, I wanted to tell you about it in person.
Alright. Also, the alpha mentioned something about an anxiety attack; he sounded worried. I almost smiled at Alec’s concern for me. I clutched the book to my chest as I bit on my lip piercing.
Yeah, it seems my anxiety is making a comeback. I will tell you about it as soon as you get here.
I am on my way.
Okay, I will read the book until you arrive. Bring a notebook with you in case we need to write anything down.
Okay, I will see you soon sister. As soon as he cut the link, I felt a little nervous. Nevertheless, I took a long breath and attempted to calm the shivers that ran through every limp in my body as I counted to ten. When I reached thirty four, the tension in my body loosened and I could breathe as normally as I could.
I put the book on my lap, and laid my palms on the long green grass under me. I leaned my head to the back and gazed at the clear blue sky; it was so clear that it made me consider how tranquil it is; how it is completely separated from the ground and every creature on it; their problems wars and pressures completely irrelevant to it.
I wondered how it would have felt like to be a bird; to have wings and be able to escape the ground’s negativity to the sky’s peaceful and comforting atmosphere. To have the capability to break free from stress and anxiety even if it was for a little while, to have the choice to leave your worries behind be such an easy one, to even have it as a choice is a privilege I wish I had.
It seems I am interrupting a reflective moment. I turned my gaze away from the sky to see Clay’s wolf emerging from in between the flowers that surround us. In his mouth was a back bag where I suspected was the notebook I requested.
“I would not call it a reflective moment, so do not worry about it.” I gave him a small smile. He put the bag next to my stretched legs and looked at me.
Can you give me my clothes? They are inside the bag. I did as he asked, and he went behind a tree. Meanwhile, I looked through the things my friend had put in the back bag to find the notebook and pencil I asked for and a bag of gummy candy. When he reappeared, he was in his human form.
I see you did not read the book. Clay sat next me on the grass and eyed the book in my lap as I opened the bag of gummy candy and put one in my mouth.
“No, let us read it together.” I opened the book and started reading.
“Once upon a time, there were two brothers named Elijah and Finn. They were part of magical people who turned into sea snakes and dolphins when the sun disappeared and was replaced by the moon. While Elijah turned into a sea snake, Finn turned into a dolphin…” I read the book sentence by sentence as Clay took notes of what he thought is important.
Once I finished the book, both of us remained silent as we let the information sink in.
Everything makes so much sense now. Clay muttered with bitterness.
I think my mind is about to explode. I mean how in the world are we only now learning about the existence of a whole new species?! Accalia seemed to share Clay’s sour mood.
“Stop brooding, both of you. We need to tell Alec about everything so we can try and make sure that the book’s information is true.”
I honestly do not see the point in me writing anything; I practically wrote down every word you read. I might have rephrased them though.
“Yeah, even though we knew we were being mind-controlled, I somehow still cannot believe that it was Owen who was controlling us.” My hands started shaking at the thought of Owen being in our minds; knowing our deepest thoughts, playing on our fears turning them against us, perhaps even turning our own thoughts against us.
I am a person who already saw her mind as her enemy, a courtesy of my anxiety; hence it is not new to me to regard my mind as my foe. However, having someone else make my mind act against me is different; unsettling. I do not know how I feel about it, but it certainly is not a comfort.
I was scared and this fear was causing my anxiety to consume my mind. Regardless, I chose to take Accalia’s advice and I did not try to force her to take control. I had to dominate my nerves, or the very least I had to adjust to their existence in my head.
Hey. Clay put his hand on mine compelling me to face him.
We will be okay, we are not helpless. We will come up with a plan, we will stop Owen and his king, and we will win this war, if it comes. Everything will be alright because we have each other. You have me, and that will never change; you are my sister. The smile on his face was the most genuine I had seen in years.
“I love you.” I murmured as I laid my head on his shoulder.
I love you Shadow to the moon and back, as Diamanda used to say. It was not the first time that he had said it, the last time he did say it was when my sister was still alive, but the way he said it somehow assured me that no matter what, we will be okay; we will come out of this victorious.