Another day comes around. The same light beams into my tiny cage. And yet again, I feel completely and utterly depressed. This is all my fault. I am stuck here because of me. My mother, Ava, died while giving birth to me so I never got to meet her, but I miss her every single day. I feel lost without her.
As my mum passed away my dad, Jerry blames me and beats me daily. As he is the Alpha of this pack, Bloodnight Pack, he gets away with treating me like the dirt on his shoe - they all turn a blind eye and let him do whatever he wants to me.
I used to be able to heal from all the injuries, but my dad made not only me submit to him but my wolf as well, so much so that my wolf, Aurora, disappeared and I’m not sure if she will ever come back. I was seven when I lost her. Werewolves have their wolves from birth, so I had seven years of bonding with her and she was taken away from me, so now all the beatings are double in pain because I do not have her to share it with. She would help me if I couldn't handle it and take control but now, I must do it solo. It makes me feel lonely. As she is gone, all my heightened senses are also gone, but I believe she will come back to me. One day.
I pick up my rock which is now blunt and scrape at the wall for the 4,380th time since I have been here. Today I am turning nineteen. I have been stuck in this hell hole for exactly twelve years. Twelve long, dreadfully painful years. I peek out my window which you can only see through one eye, and watch as my old pack mates greet each other with joy and love. Jealousy washes over my entire body and a grimace sets on my face. The pack agrees that I should not be with them as I no longer have my wolf, so technically, in their eyes, I am just a measly human who should be locked up for knowing about their species.
My cell door rattles, letting me know that it is time. Every morning, after the sun has risen, my dad comes down into the prison cells along with his Beta called Billy and the Gamma called Luke to beat me until I pass out. They both resent me nearly as much as my dad as they knew my mom and promised to protect her, especially Luke as he was her guard. When my mum died the whole pack grieved for the loss of their Luna and threw the blame on me.
Daily, I would have normal beatings, but sometimes Luke is left alone with me and his wolf takes over and rapes me. I have lost track of how many times he has done it. I am tainted. I gave up long ago on believing that I have my mate out there in the world. I am never going to leave this place. I am going to die here, so there is no need to have false hope, and even if I did manage to leave, they would not want me; I am damaged goods.
I turn their way but make sure to keep my head lowered as a sign of submission. A whimper escapes without my permission from fear. “Shut up you whore!” Luke screams at me. The harshness in his voice makes me squeeze my eyes shut. Even after all these years, I am still terrified to my very core.
“Come here,” my dad says, deathly calm. I obey. A backhand sends my flying into the cell wall, causing a blur to cast my vision. “Get up!” I hear; the owner of the voice is my fathers. Using the cell wall, I wobble, but I stand.
A rough hand wraps around my throat and squeezes my airway closed. My eyes snap open to find my father staring at me with a sort of longing. He gives this look to me a lot. It is as if he is looking into my mother’s eyes, but within a split second it’s gone, and he bashes my head into the wall - splitting it open once again.
“This should be fun,” is all I hear before the sound of a whip is cracked and a blade is plunged into my left side.
This continues for what seems forever but in reality, it is probably fifteen minutes. I’ve blacked out twice. I think I am free for the rest of the day when they start to leave, but Luke is still here staring intensely at me.
I know what is going to happen. A single tear escapes my eye, and then more follow. He smirks menacingly. The sound of his belt buckle radiates throughout the cells. I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head constantly as if it would make any difference, but it doesn't.
“Come on, baby,” Luke says sickly sweet. “I don’t bite... well only a little,” he continues with a slight chuckle.
I scream and throw my fists and legs with the little bit of energy I have left, but it has no use (not that it would have done much damage anyway.) He grabs me and throws me onto the mattress which now has holes and springs hanging out of it - trying to escape, just like me.
With the beatings, I do not put up a fight. I feel like I deserve them for what I did to my mum, but being raped, I put up a fight (well as much of it as I can.)
He climbs on top of me and traces his tongue down the side of my neck. I close my eyes and try to think of something better - my mum. I remember what she looked like from a photo that rested on my bedside table from when I was younger. I would stare at it nightly. I try to imagine her cooking whilst I watched her or her teaching me how to apply makeup or style my hair. I try to think of simple, happy times, which I will never have, or so I thought...
My eyes open as Luke starts prying his trousers off and I see the keycard for my cell hanging out of his pocket. It falls out and before it drops to the floor, I quickly snatch it and stuff it under my mattress before he notices. My heart quickens but Luke won't realize it as he would just think it is because of what he is doing to me.
The cell door self-locks when you close it and it is open right now, so he will not need his keycard until tomorrow morning.
A new sense of hope floods my body. I am going to get out of here. I am going to be free. I just have to get through this...