Help me, Alpha

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Chapter 19

~Hayley~


I stare anxiously at the door that will change my life. Part of me doesn’t want to go in and run away because if they really know who I was and what I have done they would hate me. Despise me. Kill me.

I’m doing this for Jax. This is for me and him I remind myself over and over.

For Jax. The one I... adore.

Everyone knows I’m coming so it won’t be a surprise which is a good thing. Turning up as a suprise would have been even worse. Jax made sure to tell them that I am coming but not to ask any personal questions, as I am not ready for that yet, but he didn’t tell them that part. He kept that between me and him.

A warm, huge hand engulfs mine and tugs for me to look at them. I raise my gaze to Axton, and only then do I notice how badly my hands are shaking.

“Don’t cry, Hay,” he says, making me realise that tears are streaming down my face, one after the other. Axton gently wipes them all away. “You don’t have to do this, you kno . Don’t feel like you need to prove anything. Jax will love you no matter what,” Axton says sincerely.

Love.

Jax loves me?

“L-love,” I stutter.

“Isn’t it obvious? He is madly in love with you”

How could someone like Jax love me? I’m a nobody. Yet out of all the females in the world, he loves me. Out of all the female warriors that this pack will have, who will be capable of much more than what I can do, he chooses me.

He loves me.

I haven’t been loved at all in my life. Not even a little bit, and that might explain why the feeling of love doesn’t fit comfortable with me. It feels odd. But a good odd.

The biggest goofiest smile stretches across my face.

Axton pulls me out of my trance when he says, “Just be yourself and you will be more than fine.”

“Thank you, Ax,” I say genuinely and squeeze his hand.

We climb the few steps towards the double doors, and I let Axton lead the way. He opens the door wide enough for me to go in as well, without knocking as it would be pointless as they probably could of already smelt me outside.

I am greeted with a room of females staring at me. Analysing me. Seeing if I am worthy of being their Luna. Little did they know I won’t be here that long for that to happen. The fear deepens again into my veins. I feel like someone is choking me. I can’t seem to form any words, I just stare blankly at the twelve women in front of me.

Axton seems to sense my discomfort and quickly stands in front of me, blocking all of them seeing my messed up form, as his broad structure shields me.

Axton’s deep eyes bore into mine and he mutters under his breathe, “You don’t have to do this.”

When I don’t respond, he reminds me to, “Breathe.”

I inhale a deep breathe, clearing my fogged up mind.

“I’ve got you. You’re safe... I’m gonna mindlink Jax and tell him we’re going back home.”

I grab onto his shirt and shake my head back and forth. “No, no I can do this... just breathe.” I remind myself.

For Jax.

I know all of them can hear our little conversation, but there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to live with the embarrassment.

I look up at Axton and nod my head in a way of telling him I’m ready. He reluctantly moved out of the way to stand to the right of me.

I plaster a shy smile onto my face, and give a small wave towards them.

All of the females are beautiful. Each look like a model. As I scan all of their faces, I recognise one of the females. Rose. Lily’s babysitter. I widen my smile at her, but her response is just a cold stare. Maybe she doesn’t recognise me.

But within a split second she has the biggest grin possible and jumps up from her chair and comes skipping over to me whilst shouting, “Hayley! Fancy seeing you here!” Once she reaches me she gives me a bone crushing hug, that ends up hurting. Maybe I’m just too fragile.

I keep my arms down at my side and turn to look to Axton for answers. He has a frown on his face and shrugs in confusion, just like how I feel.

She pulls back and turns to the remaining eleven females and says, “Everyone this is Hayley.”

All the females stand and come over to me. My heart slams against my chest and my palms become clammy. I turn to Ax for reassurance, with which he gives me a nod saying I can do this.

One at a time, the females kiss both of my cheeks and gives me a hug, showing the upmost respect for their Luna.

I am breathtaken. They all respect me, and I haven’t even said a word. Did Jax tell them to do that? No, that’s not like him. He would want me to do it and get their real impressions instead of fake opinions. So if they weren’t told to respect me, then they truly do themselves.

Warm smiles are on the females faces, including mine. Rose stands at the back of everyone with no expression on her face.

I finally acknowledge the rest of the room. There are tons of flowers sitting in every corner, which explains the fresh smell in the air. A water machine sits in the far corner, next to a table with drinks and snacks on top. There are multiple doors on either side of the walls, leading to mysterious rooms. A giant coffee table is placed in the middle of the seating area, surrounded by plenty of sofas and chairs for everyone to sit at. A tele is placed on the left wall in the centre, but is on a low noise level; just for background noise.

“Come, come. Come sit down!” A beautiful brown headed, beaming woman says. She raidates happiness.

We all take our seats. They all go back to where they previously sat and I choose to sit in a comfortable arm chair. Axton decides to drag a chair and place it next to me, just in case anything happens and he has to protect me.

“Let’s introduce ourselves,” the brown haired women says. She seems to be the one in charge and the leader of the group, but I am not entirely sure.

Her name is Isabella. All the other female names are, Tiffany, Julie, Alexia, Aria, Rachel, Layla, Helen, Violet, Emilia and Willow. And of course, we have Rose.

I try to sit as relaxed as possible, but it is basically impossible. Isabella starts the conversation off lightly.

“So Luna, how have you been? Have you been settling in well?” she says, super friendly. She seems very welcoming.

Luna.

She called me her Luna.

Guilt automatically runs through me. I could never be their Luna. I’m not strong enough to lead them. I’m not brave. They think I can protect them, but I can’t even protect myself. I’ve failed my job before I’ve even started. They need a strong, confident female who actually has their wolf; that isn’t me.

I glance at the other females who stare with eager eyes, except Rose. She is staring at a weird shaped device in her hands that she keeps taping. I’ve seen Jax and Axton use one similar to it, but I’m not sure what it is. I will have to ask them.

“I’ve been good... Jax and Axton have helped me... so much?” I turn to Axton to make sure I’m saying it right. He doesn’t look at me as he isn’t meant to be listening, but ever so slightly he gives a curt nod that only I could see. I small smile makes its way onto my face at his actions.

I turn back to Isabella as she says, “Alpha has only told us nice stuff about you. He told us a little bit ago that you were his mate. I think I speak for all of us when I say this, but I’m glad that Alpha has finally found his mate. He rarely used to smile, but lately he has the biggest smile I have ever seen! He did say that it would take you some time to become Luna, but that’s fine. Just your presence in the pack grounds helps every member feel that little bit better, and it all makes the difference. So if you don’t feel that you can do the Luna duties, that is absolutely. You’re helping us by just being here. It means a lot to all of us.”

I never stopped smile during the whole time she spoke. The words she said were beautiful. She may not understand the effect her words have on me, but to know that the pack expect me, I don’t feel so disgusted with myself. If a bunch of strangers can tolerate me, then why can’t I?

I feel comfortable talking with Isabella. She is more down to earth, and has this calming aura around her. She is the sort of person I can manage being around. She is the person I’ve trusted the fastest, and I’m not surprised with how gentle she is. I may have had only men beat me, but I also had women do nothing to help me, so I am wary of both genders. But with Isabella, I feel warm.

She has short brown hair which is tucked behind her ears. Bright blue eyes rest on her face, whilst a permant smile sits just below. She looks to be around about thirty, but with werewolf genes, she could be older. I hope I look like her when I’m older. She is very beautiful.

We continue a comfortable, casual conversation, and I seem to get on with everyone. I have spoken to all the females individually, and they are all very welcoming.

Out of nowhere, Rose asks, “So why don’t you want to do your Luna duties? What happened to you before you came to Midnight Rose Pack?”

I freeze.

No one says a word.

I see everyone look at each other, until they all stare at me. My gaze falls to my lap, too embarrassed to look at anyone. Next to me, Axton starts to growl as he senses my discomfort. I’m not sure if he knows anything about my past, or he is just protecting his Luna.

Why is she asking such a question? I don’t think I’ve ever been rude to her before. I thought she liked me.

Before Axton charges at Rose, Isabella, thankfully, directs the awkward questions by asking, “Does anyone want any tea? I’ve got biscuits.” Isabella saves the day. My hero.

Just before any of us can answer, we are interrupted when a loud bang echoes from the doorway and someone comes barging in...

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