I know this looks bad, and it is bad, but that's my past. A long time ago, and honestly meant nothing to me, I was just lonely, but I can understand how Hayley is feeling. I would hate it too if she had kissed another male.
I can tell Hayley isn't listening to me and I can hear her breath quicken, which I know will result in a panic attack. I pull her in closer to me and whisper in her ear, "Take a breath. I'm here for you, and I am never leaving you, mate."
Hayley starts to catch her breath after some time and I pull her back to look into her eyes. "It was a few kisses when I was younger, I never mated her and I never will. She liked me because I was the Alpha, that's all. She is a power-hungry she-wolf and I was lonely. It meant nothing to me. I didn't think I would meet my mate as I was past the age of eighteen. It was wrong of me. I only care about you, Hayley," she looks away from me, but I continue saying, "I was stupid and naive and I know that's no excuse, but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will cook for you every day, rub your feet every night, absolutely anything. I will regret what I did for the rest of my life. Please forgive me," I beg.
"It won't happen again?" she asks.
"It won't. Only with you." I say as I place her hand over my heart so she knows I'm telling her the truth.
"Pinky promise?" she asks with the most adorable pout.
"I pinky promise," I say as I lock my pinky with hers and combine it, before kissing it to seal it.
"I love you and only you Hayley. It will always be you," I say sincerely...
Alpha Jax gave me the morning off as Hayley is with him meeting the new and returning wolves. I managed to grab a couple of hours of sleep, but my wolf, Cohen, decides to wake me up and is pacing in my mind. Whenever I ask what his problem is, all I get is a mixture of a growl and a purr.
I hear footsteps echo about the packhouse and I grow more on edge as the seconds pass. After tossing and turning for a few more minutes, I give up on trying to relax and decide to go for a run. Maybe that's what my wolf needs. A decent run to tire the annoying git out.
I don't bother changing out of my baggy grey joggers as I'll strip when I get into the woods. Cohen howls out constantly and hurries me to leave the room. I start to walk out of my room but stumble to a stop as the most amazing smell hits me. Is this happening? Am I going to finally meet my mate? I wonder what she will look like? Will she reject me? Before I can think of any more questions I roughly grab the door handle and fling it open, but not seeing what I expected.
"Mate?" Cohen howls in joy whilst I stand there confused. In front of me stands a roughly six-foot-three male in absolutely no clothing except a breathtaking gummy smile that makes my knees feel like jelly. His toned abs are on display for every male and female to ogle at. The thought alone makes Cohen growl with obsession. His dark brown curly hair and his deep black orbs match his rich chocolate skin perfectly, and I feel a bit of dribble start to hang from my mouth.
I'm gay? What? What do I do now? What do I say? Question after question swims through my mind rapidly and I do the only thing I think of. Run.
I sprint out of the packhouse, leaving my mate where he is, and create some distance between us to think everything through.
I'm currently on duty, sitting next to Hayley in the packhouse living room. Hayley is watching some trash program whilst I try to get my mind off my new found mate.
"Can I ask you something?" she asks gingerly, pulling me to the present.
"Do you know a wolf called Samantha?" I nod at her question before she continues, "Jax told me that she and he used to have... history. Do you think he might still like her?"
"Definitely not! The way he looks at you is as if you are his answer to his every question. Now you're in his life, he can't live without you. She may be physically back, but Alpha Jax couldn't give two shits. And I mean, look at you, Samantha hasn't got a thing on you," I try to reassure her.
Hayley pauses before saying, "Thank you, Ax. I just wanted someone who... isn't in the picture to give me their... feeling? I'm not sure what the right word is, but thank you." I can tell she doesn't believe what I am saying to her, but I hope she will eventually understand.
"Opinion is the word you are looking for, and don't be silly. It's nothing, I'm always here for you... As we're sharing, can I ask you something?"
"Well here goes nothing. I met my mate earlier today."
"Really?... What does she look like?"
"Well, that's just it. It isn't a she, it's a him."
"Oh sorry, what does he look like?"
"You're not... grossed out that I'm gay?"
"No, why... would I be?" she questions.
I hesitate at what to respond with. Why should she be grossed out? Why should I? It's love through and through, the gender doesn't matter.
"I don't know..."
"What does he look like?" she asks again.
"Well he is extremely handsome, anyone who isn't even gay would agree, but, I just... I don't know how to feel about it. I mean it never even crossed my mind that I might be gay, I just had always assumed I was into girls. I was always so into training at becoming the best warrior, that I never had any time for relationships. What would my parents say? They want grand-pups. Ah, Hayley, I don't know what to do."
"Follow your heart. Who cares what...other people think. Embrace it ... embrace true love. You and him are made for each other. Don't fight it."
I sit back and think about what Hayley has said. The moon goddess has given me my mate, and I should be thankful for that, not judge her decisions. I should love them unconditionally whatever their gender is. We were destined to be together, and I should follow my fate, which belongs with my mate.
It's been a few hours since I spoke to Hayley about my situation and as I'm now off duty, I decided I was going to look for my mate to explain everything and maybe forget what happened in the packhouse and start on a clean slate.
I follow his prominent scent out of the packhouse, and into the forest. I wonder what my mate is doing out here? I quicken my pace as excitement bubbles within me.
After a few minutes of walking, I find my mate leaning at the foot of a tree reading a book called "Nineteen Eighty-Four" by George Orwell. He looks so engrossed in the book that I didn't think he would notice me, but when he lifts his head, and peers and me with those dead gorgeous eyes, I lose all sense of myself.
After a few breaths, I recover from my trance and I saunter over to my mate, nervous about how he will react. What if he rejects me because of how I acted? I take a deep breath, to try to calm my nerves, but to no avail.
"Hey," I say cautiously when I get to where he is sitting. I rub the back of my neck, a habit I do when I'm anxious, and I lower my eyes to the ground. When I get no response, I look up to see my mate staring up at me.
"I'm sorry I freaked. I just wasn't expecting to meet... you. Would it be possible if we could maybe start over?" I ask with my heart in my hands.
A moment of tension passes before I hear, "I would love to. My name is Dylan..."