MerelyDave would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

A Letter of Resignation from an Apprentice

By MerelyDave All Rights Reserved ©

Fantasy / Humor

With Great Sincerity

Dear Great and Worshipful Master Martin Greenbones,

It is with some regret that I must tender my resignation as your apprentice. While I realize that I signed on for a goodly number of years, and am thankful for the scraps of knowledge that have fallen into my hands, I feel it is best to take my leave of you now before something even worse happens. I feel that I am simply not cut out for the sacred arts of Alchemy and Divination.

To be honest, Most August and Powerful Sir, I can't take it any more. My knees are bruised and scraped to the bone scrubbing the floors with borax and lye. I have shaken grubs from my hair after scrabbling through midden heaps, looking for bones to grind into powder. The spiders in the pile of rags I call my bed bite me most fiercely. I am almost lame from pulling splinters the length of my fingers from my poor feet. I am mottled with burns from the crucible. I have suffered awful cuts from the glass shards of broken alembics. You will remember when I accidentally filled my lungs with vapor from pure golden sulphur; I was rendered senseless for half a week. The dizzy spells still occur around noon most days.

I have done my very best in a year's service to you, but you send me to do impossible things. I ran all the way to Mordentshire to copy a chapter from The Sphere of the Primum Mobile; you did not bother to tell me it was in Hebrew. You bade me to create mixtures of vervain, henbane, alums and acids, but your writing is so crabbed and impossible to read that I cannot help but produce the most lively and awful bubbling messes that eat the threads of my clothing.

You grow so furious at the littlest mistakes that I fear you will turn me into a mouse. You shouted at me most mercilessly for scrubbing away part of your thaumaturgic circle, but I was trying to clean the floor... as you asked!

You commanded me to etch most carefully the names of the Voices of God, but how was I to know that "Tetragrammaton" is spelled with two "m's"? How was I to realize that reading a passage from Le Livre de Salomon would evoke a demon that would curdle all the wine in the lord's manor? I thought it was a recipe for broiled rabbit. And I believe it is a perfectly natural mistake to have confused cinnabar with cinnamon.

Fearless and Most Magical Master, I have served you faithfully and well. I have kept the continual fire burning for three days to mix the noble circulated salt of Paracelsus. I took great pains and called in many favors to bring you a bezoar of hair from a madwoman's belly. I have prepared the sophic mercury by luna and the antimonial stellate regulus of Mars... at least I think I did. Great Sir, I do not know the half of what I do!

Therefore, I beg you, oh Voluminous Master, to accept my resignation and release me from my contract. You deserve an apprentice worthy of your renown. I know a minim from a dram, but I am better suited to weigh bolts of cloth in my father's shop. Might I recommend to your service my cousin Lucian? He is very able with Latin, a hard worker and very patient, and you will do well to choose his service over my poor self.

Sincerely and Hopefully,

Your Servant,

Edmond Spindleshanks

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, MerelyDave
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Katsy Dawne : Can't get enough!

gaviwashere: Book was epic and different. Not cliché it was truly awesome

Josy_se_libros: I really liked the book but the ending felt kinda of rushed. (Spoiler) I understand why Cameron wasn’t ready to have kids but would have loved just a glimpse of him growing into the dad role but that’s okay. Other than that it was a great book loved the characters.

redbat98: This is a good book and I like how its done! However there is a lot and I mean A LOT of grammar and spelling errors...perhaps find an editor to help you? But I would definitely recommend this to a friend even with the errors!

jnjaehwa365: The story played with my emotions and it was till the point where I was crying. I recommend others to read this.

sabrinaghunram17: This book was a good read. If you like werewolf stories that are not typically cliché then you might like this story. Grammar could use some work but overall a good read. Good job on getting your work out there and I wish u all the best!

✨ Keonne Jézzale ✨: This book was really good!! It had me feeling all types of emotions. You have to read the first book though.

fairytail zero: The story is amazing I love the characters in the story and the plot is great. The female lead was amazing and her character was great one of the best.

Kylie Russell: Another must read from this author❤️❤️❤️

More Recommendations

Mercedes: You think you are going to read the typical story of a rudeless alpha and a depressed Luna, and yes at several occasions they act like that but they have a sense of duty that makes me like them a lot. The move on because of the pack and eventually they fall in love, and I love that they don't do ...

Bella Suarez-Ramirez: I like the futuristic and evolved storyline this takes place with vampires and humans. The MC is a strong and great character that you can’t help but root and join her in her adventure. I enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading the Demon PA. There were parts in which I felt were more fil...

Olivia Hodgson: Amazing story not a traditional cliche werewolf story. Can not wait to read the sequel!! I recommend this very highly

Tati Monet: Although it was a short story I would have liked to see more detail in the writing in regards to the plot and how fast everything accelerated. When reading a historical book, you also like to hear about historical references - what they did in that time, foods they ate, music that was listened to...

Layla: Loved it I also hope it continues

{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.