Flashback – a few days after the attack on the Hunter’s Compound
I was lying on the empty bed just staring at the ceiling.
Derik had promised me, that he would try and talk to Alpha Vector about letting me at least have some sort of contact to Sif. He also warned me not to get my hopes up. To them, I didn’t “help” take down the Hunters. I was simply a cowered that provided information.
Derik returned this afternoon.
If I ever came close to their borders, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill me!
There was a knock on the door, but I didn’t get up. The door opened and Derik came in. He glanced at me and quickly noticed that the tray of food from this morning was still untouched.
“Hi,” he said in a gentle voice, scratching his neck uneasily. “You should eat something.”
“I’m not hungry,” I replied. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t trying to be difficult or anything, but I couldn’t get a bite down, no matter how hard I tried. The second I did, it turned in my stomach and came running back up. I barely made it to the bathroom…
And lying on the bathroom floor, I noticed my backpack. My trusty backpack that had keep both of us fed and clean while we were on the run.
All of Sif’s stuff was in there…
Seeing it, felt like loosing her all over again. My mind turned into a jumbled mess. First, I panicked! If all of her stuff was here, how were they going to take care of her? Then I remembered that her mother was an alpha’s daughter. She would definitely have more things now. She’d never want for anything ever again… I tried to think rationally. I couldn’t give her a home, lots of dolls and dresses. She was better off without me…
Yeah! She was better off--- without me…
I remembered her small hands clutching my fingers. How she’d snuggled into my chest, how I’d falling asleep listening to her steady breathing…
How I’d never have that again!
We had so little, yet we had love.
“How are you holding up?” Derik asked, sitting on the foot of the bed.
“Just great!” I muttered in a monotone voice. The tone reflecting what I felt inside: nothing! “Did you see Sif?”
Derik shifted nervously. Instantly I turned to face him. His face was half hidden in the dark, but I could still make out the furrowed line on his forehead and the sad look in his eyes. Making me wondered what weighed so heavy on his mind tonight…
“Lizzy,” he started, his voice strained and unusual deep. “I have some…,” he trailed off his words, sighing deeply. “I have some bad news.”
Uneasy I got up, eyeing him in the dim light. His eyes avoided mine and I knew--- whatever he was about to tell me…
“Sif?” I asked, but in reality, it was merely a statement. Derik nodded and my insides froze. “What-what hap---?” I couldn’t finish the sentence. My mouth went dry and my stomach turned into a hard knot.
“Her mother – Steffanie, she…,” he started, trying to look at me. But all I was meat with was sadness and pity. Even regret. “She was very sick and the whole experience with the…” He stopped and swallowed, not being able to say it: Hunters! The fact that Sif was the product of her being tortured and raped by Hunters made her lose her mind…
“Please?” I begged, feeling the sickness inside me grow. “Tell me she’s alright?” Tears rimmed the lines of my eyes. Tell me my baby’s alright!
“I’m sorry, Liz,” he sighed, his head hanging low. “There was nothing anybody could do.”
My heart stopped beating.
“She’s gone, Liz,” he then confirmed my worst fear. “Sif’s gone.”
My heart shattered into a million pieces. I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t want to believe him. Yet in my heart, I knew it was true. I knew it already before it happened. When they took her from my arms, I knew that was the last time I saw her. Crying, as if screaming for my name. Knowing I failed her…
Sif was gone…!
My baby was dead…
I cried until I passed out from exhaustion.
Derik stayed with me that night. But I knew it was up to myself to get back up.