The Mediocre Four

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A Knight with nerves of lead. A Thief who is rarely quiet. A Wizard who is coordination impaired. And a Cleric with a side job as a professional buzzkill. With the Kingdom in peril, these four unlikely heroes are the realms best hope of survival. It’s a situation torn straight from the stories of old. And if they like it or not, these four must play their part. Right to the bitter end. (New chapter every Friday)

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Chapter One: A Knight, A Thief, A Wizard and A Cleric Walk Into A Bar

The Kingdom of Cinder, a Kingdom ripe with adventure, or at least the stories of them. Several centuries had passed by without a wink of some dark lord trying to end the world or something to that avail. A statistic that very much pleased the royal family with the lack of damage control they had to deal with.

Peasants and noblemen would go about their day without fear of hysteria, and all seemed at peace. But as with the beginning of many stories, there has to be a “but”, and here it is, right on cue. But there was a shadow that loomed over the shore of this era of peace, and it had its eyes set on the small town of Bellkeep, the soon to be victims of this new era. I just hope they have insurance.

In Bellkeep the citizens would go about their day, working lumber at the nearby forest or engaging in many of their own hobbies around town, primarily drinking. For a small-ish town, the bar ceased to be empty and today was no different. Though this time when they drank like the world was going to end, they didn’t realise it would be literal.

Today, they had a fresh face amongst them, a young knight by the name of Jamal, who drank from a large keg gifted to him by a fan.

Jamal was used to receiving gifts, it was common for him to obtain some kind of luxury wherever he went, usually in the form of food, which had evidently affected his waistline; though don’t tell him I said that. He was recognisable throughout the kingdom, or at least his red cape was, which hung proudly from his armoured shoulders, embellished with the royal insignia. For the moment he was enjoying the small amount of time to himself, it had been a full two minutes since someone had gone up to him to tell him how brave he was, and how “beating a dragon is like, so cool and stuff”. Little did he know, however, that he did in fact have an admirer watching from a seat not too far from his stool at the bar.

A scraggly looking girl who hid her face with a hood who refused to go by anything else other than V. Unlike Jamal’s other admirers though, she wasn’t after an example of his poor penmanship; she was interested in the heavy-looking pouch he had strapped to his side, an easy target for a thief like herself.

She got up from her chair and began her approach, moving at a quicker pace the further she got. Her eyes were locked on the pouch, her surrounding nothing but a blur as she closed in (a rookie mistake on her part). This oversight meant just as she got about an arm’s length from her target she got carried aside by a drunken crowd, the members of which seemed eager to get away from something.

The something in question was a boy by the name of Otis. A wannabe wizard draped in mismatched garms, who chased the crowd with a dead rabbit in his hands, one which he swore was alive before he pulled it out of his hat. He later changed this excuse to another, however, trying his luck with another group of bar goers as he pulled out his crooked wand and began trying to revive it whilst it lay lifeless on their table.

This new audience had even believed him for a minute, as they huddled closer to get a better look. That was prior to the very last incantation he performed, one which did the opposite of reviving the rabbit and left the unsuspecting crowd and himself covered in rabbit guts. It was a display, to say the least, catching the attention of nearby people, including another new face to the town, one who’d had the misfortune of walking in at that specific moment.

June was her name, a Cleric welding a large staff who’d found herself in need of direction. Although she wondered if asking someone under the influence would really help her, rather than just leading her even more astray. She couldn’t quite remember why of all the places, she’d decided that the local bar would be the best place to look for help. But before she could regret her decision anymore, the barmaid called her over, wondering if she needed any help. June tried her best to decline her offer, but with the dense level of slurred conversations ricocheting across the walls, June’s reserved voice didn’t quite carry over. The barmaid kept on gesturing for her to come over, and eventually, she gave in, praying that perhaps this wouldn’t be a complete waste of time like she suspected.

V had recovered from her short misadventure with the drunken crowd, and had made her way back to the front of the bar, a little stickier than she’d been beforehand; from spilt beer, get your mind out of the gutter. At this point, she was doing this to get back some pride. She couldn’t get this far and get bested by a bunch of drunks. No, she was better than that. Plus, the insignia plastered haphazardly on Jamal’s cape would pay for anything on his behalf. So it wasn’t like he needed the coins anyway, or at least that’s what she used to excuse it. Her job would only be easier this time too.

Otis had still not given up on his magic tricks, and after trying his best to wipe off the remaining rabbit viscera, he showed the knight at the bar one of his tricks. Despite being carried off, V had witnessed his previous trick, and she hoped he wouldn’t make the knight explode. Hopefully not until she got the pouch, anyway.

V decided to act sooner and not risk being painted crimson. She drew closer again, though this time she scanned her surroundings for any approaching herds. She got to arm’s length, grabbing the pouch discreetly yet quickly in the way only she knew how. She smiled to herself before she turned to make her exit, though a barrier stood in her way, a tall robed one to be specific.

June had witnessed the entire thing whilst the barmaid talked along to herself.

V might have been stealthy when it came to other patrons of the bar, ones lucky to see past their toes. But June was far too sober to miss her staring at the knight for what felt like forever. Maybe the gods had brought her into this bar for a reason. Perhaps it was to stop this girl robbing this poor fellow blind.

“I saw you take that young man’s wallet. Now, pass it here and the gods may still forgive you,” she said, knocking the triumphant smirk off V’s face.

V scrambled to think of a response. She wasn’t used to being caught despite what you might assume, though she definitely needed to work on her peripheral vision. She slyly placed the pouch behind her back, trying her best to act innocent.

“I have no idea why you’d imply such a thing, I was just heading out for some fresh air,” she replied, her performance doing little to dissuade June’s righteous attitude as she called for the knight.

Jamal heard someone calling out to him, or at least he assumed they were talking to him. “You with the red cape” was a description that didn’t suit anyone else in the bar, anyway. He turned to the source, a towering young woman covered head to toe in a white robe that he imagined was hell to maintain. Next to her was a rugged-looking girl who she had a hold of, one which was making every attempt to escape her grip.

“This thief has taken something of yours, knight. Perhaps you’d want it back?” she said, tossing the stolen pouch back to Jamal. He looked at it, then perked up his head when the wizard asked if he’d liked his trick.

Otis didn’t exactly have the greatest timing on the best of days, but this was on a whole new level. When Jamal and Otis locked eyes, he was unaware of what conclusion he’d come to, and this made Jamal’s next words all the more confusing to him.

“Oh, I see what this is, but no you didn’t trick me, now you and your thief friend are gonna get it!” Jamal said, his voice bellowing louder and louder with every word. He jumped off his stool, almost losing balance as the alcohol all hit at once. This didn’t stop Jamal from unsheathing his sword, though.

Otis stood back, rather alarmed. Even his worst tricks hadn’t got this kind of reaction from someone.

“Listen, no need to resort to violence. We can talk this out, I respond to criticism really well,” Otis practically begged, the words perhaps coming out too slowly for Jamal, who’d already begun to swing his sword.

Otis ducked to the floor, narrowly avoiding the blade as it shaved a few hairs on the back of his head.

June stood holding V, who still hadn’t given up her attempts at escape. June had watched as Jamal swung at Otis, which hadn’t been her intention. She would have tried to stop it. That is, if Jamal hadn’t greatly underestimated the power of his swing. His sword swung past Otis, but it continued. Taking out several bottles as it came closer to both June and V from over the bar. June grabbed the still struggling V and pulled her down to the floor with her, dodging the incoming blade as it flew over their heads and lodged itself into a nearby wall.

Jamal apologised to June and the Barmaid quickly, which was probably the least he could have done considering that he had almost decapitated the two of them. During his short-winded apology, Otis had pulled out his wand again, although he had no trick in mind, this time it was to defend himself.

Otis spat out an incantation he faintly remembered, turning his head away from his wand as its tip glowed, just in case it blew up in his face.

Jamal threw his arms up to cover his face. Not that he’d need to.

Otis had in fact done the spell right, however, it had been his accuracy that had been off. The ray of light that shot out blew a sizable hole in the roof of the bar.

June looked over and saw the rubble fall toward a crowd of people. She gripped her staff tightly, using an incantation of her own which produced a glowing sphere around them.

V, however, used this to her advantage, biting the hand June was using to grip her before bolting toward the door. The sudden surge of pain knocked June’s focus, causing the shield to dissipate and whilst most of the people were fine, a stray piece of the roof gave a guy a headache he’d feel for weeks. V got to the door, pleased that her escape “plan” had worked. She’d just have to go to the coast a little ahead of schedule, that’s all. She swung it open, and her hopes were crushed again, as four guards stood outside carrying shackles.

V sighed, “Shit.”

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