I find myself lying in a bed with white sheets and a white night gown along with a window that is draped with white curtains. My hair is straight and it covers my back like a blanket of red roses. I get out of the bed, with confusion in my eyes. Where am I? My feet touch the cold wooden floor and I walked over to the window which showed a clear image of the stars, the rest of the city was silent. I don’t think anyone was even here besides me. There was no door in the room just a window. I sat on the edge of the bed with no idea of what to do. Suddenly the room grew darker and darker when I looked out the window and saw the stars had disappeared. A worried scream comes out of me. The room is now dimly lit by the one star that is still remains in the sky, I knew which one it was. It got closer the more I stared at it. I get so close I can almost touch it.
I don’t feel the floor under my feet, when I look down all I can see is that I am being lifted into the air. I turn around and the bed that was there a minute ago isn’t there. The entire room turns blurry and transforms into a dark sky. I’m floating in the air. I was afraid of the dark as a child and that is something that I did not overcome.
The one thing that appears in front of my eyes is a Star.
I try to reach out and grab it but it’s far away. I stare at it for what feels like forever. I try to move it but it takes up half my strength. Why am trying to move this star around? I can’t even identify it’s constellation.
My bones feel achy and my head hurts, I hear whispers in my head. Someone saying my name repeatedly. It drives me crazy.
I don’t know why but I stretch out my hand and use up all of my energy to try and move it from it’s position. A painful and stressful scream escapes from my mouth. The air around me is no longer holding my body, I fall and the scream that came out of me wakes me from my nightmare.
Granny and Dad come flying into my room a second later, they find me curled up in a ball on the edge of my bed. Tears streaming down my face. Grandma must have said something to calm me down but I wasn’t listening, Dad tried to get me to drink water. I rejected everything. I know my nightmare may not sound as scary but it really was. It felt realistic.
Grandma offered to sleep next to me but I said no. Dad left and so did Granny, I didn’t sleep out of the fear of more nightmares. I just sobbed the rest of the night.
The nightmare playing in my head. Then this other thought disturbs me, what would Mom do if she was here? Would she hold me till I went back to sleep? Would she sit next to me and deprive herself of sleep even though I tell her not to? Would Dad still be like....well like Dad if she was still here?
I could tell it was morning from the purplish blue sky visible from my window. I tapped the screen of my phone so it would display the time. 5:00 a.m. it read.
I washed my face multiple times, to remove the dry tears. Some of the water went in my mouth and I tasted it a bit before spitting it out. The water tasted like sadness, depression and anger.
I got a quick look at myself in the mirror, my eyes were red from crying and the water made them more tired then they already were. I tied up my hair and shielded the window with dark purple curtains the room was now dark. I slowly walked to bed and smoothed out the sheets and set my head on the damp pillows.
Even though I was no longer a child, I cuddled with a teddy bear that I had since I was five. I slept in for six hours because before my nightmare I got two hours of sleep.
After I woke up properly, it was noon. I took a hot bath and finished my homework. The only exciting thing about my weekend was that it was still raining, I don’t know how they kept it raining for so long.
Dad had to go on a business trip to the west side of the Kingdom and he wouldn’t be back until next week. That irritated me a lot, how could he leave without even asking me how I was?
I read my book and fed myself popcorn and filled up with water. Granny was in her room all day, at least I was in the living room and not locked in my bedroom all day like some moody teenager.
Dinner time came by and Granny heated up some soup and leftover turkey. I ate a little but it was really old and gross, Granny had not been cooking for days and she’s been in her room. What was she doing in there?
She also had phone calls from unknown numbers. Did Dad know?
I didn’t plan to sleep early but I was sp bored that I couldn’t fight the tiredness in my body.
The dreams this night contained, memories from my childhood which confused and worried me for some reason. I kept hearing one word in my head, Ophiuchus.
The dreams made no sense and I didn’t want to wake up the next morning but I had school and Granny basically begged me to go get out of bed.
“Annabelle, please get out of bed and get out of the house. Go live your life!”
“Why?” I moaned into my pillow
“Because I have work to do and I need my privacy”
She was in her room all day and I never asked her for anything except food. I never bothered her or Dad.
I got dressed and Granny made pancakes for whatever reason. She seemed eager to get rid of me so I left as fast as I could.
“Are you leaving?” she asked a little too enthusiastically
“Yes” I answered
“I’ll drive you” Granny offered.
“No thanks, I’ll just go by myself ” I said
“No, you shouldn’t walk alone in this weather” she insisted. It was still raining a little.
“Okay” I agreed. Granny found two umbrellas for us and I prepared myself for the cold.
We walked in silence and I had a bad headache so I tried to walk as fast as I could but had to slow down because of Granny. I was getting dizzy the more I walked. I day dreamed more often then I used to during the start of the day. I took some medicine but it didn’t help, what was wrong now?
I could’ve just called Granny to come and get me but I didn’t want to bother her, I didn’t even go to the school nurse because she would have told me to get some sleep and I could not sleep in school. I just had to make it through the day without passing out and focus on my schoolwork.
I avoided my friends all day and at lunch I sat with Gwen and McKenna. Which is something that I had never done before.
“Hey” I greeted
“Hi, why are you sitting here?” Gwen asked
“You never sat with us before” McKenna pointed out
“I know, I just thought I’d sit here today” I shrugged
“Why? Have all the other chairs broken down?” Gwen interrogated. Always looking for a reason to fight.
“No, I couldn’t find any other place. That’s all” I lied. I could have sat in my usual place but I can’t face my friends. “And besides, are we not friends?” I added quickly.
“Yeah, we are but you never even talk to us” that was Gwen
“Or hang out with us” McKenna added
“And that is why I’m trying to change that” I lied again. I don’t want to change anything, I just have to get through my day.
We ate in silence, or at least I did. Gwen and McKenna gossiped and didn’t move their eyes from their phones and I felt awkward sitting there.
It felt even more awkward when Violet Libra came up to us, she didn’t even notice me so I left. I always hoped that Violet and I would get along since Virgo and Libra have a connection but she pretended like I didn’t exist.
I only had four more classes then I would be free. I went into the girls’ bathroom and hid myself from everyone until lunchtime was over. My headache was getting worse by the minute and the strong smell of perfumed hand wash and air freshener wasn’t helping. I took some medicine and on my way to class I bumped into Tristan but we didn’t talk. Things are getting bad for me by the second. I wish I could get out of here. In movies people make wishes on Stars and they magically come true. I did that a couple of times when I was a child. But now I pray to the Stars, people in the movies have no idea what the Constellations are capable of, we do. That’s why we respect and worship the Stars and in return the Stars answer our prayers.
My bones ached, my head hurt, I feel cold even though our school has central heating. Whenever I shiver or fell cold for absolutely no reason, Amara says that it is because I’m nervous or scared, that happened to me last year when I was taking Physics classes. The biggest mistake of my life, our professor was the devil and he had no interest in what any of his students had to say. One time I wrote the answer in my own understanding in an exam and he failed me. Amara helped me get through that and I swore to myself that I would never study Physics another day in my life.
I smiled at that thought. I made it through the rest of the day, I know Tristan, Amara and Lyra tried to talk to me during class but I pushed them away. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to them but they would have asked about me and I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I don’t even know what to do. I felt stupid for ignoring my friends but I couldn’t deal with them right now.
Granny kept asking me what was wrong and she looked at me with the same question in her eyes so I would snap. But I couldn’t share this with anyone, now I’m just waiting for Friday when Dad will take me to the psychologist and get rid of my nightmares.
I got through the next few days without socializing with anyone. One night, I had a conversation with Granny.
“When will Dad get back?” I asked even though I knew this.
“He told me he would arrive late at night” she told
It was the first time we talked in forever and our conversation consisted of only two sentences.