“I don’t care what you do with it, just get rid of her before Dagda and my husband arrives!” Sealiea said to the Unseelie flunkies Dagda had given her to work with. She was currently in an aquarium, or once was an aquarium, now it was half a cottage. Baba Yaga’s cottage, she’d recognize those chicken feet, and sharp knives on display anywhere. Why Dagda decided on this as a meeting spot she’d never know.
Sealiea motioned to Baba Yaga’s stiff feet, sticking out from under the heavy tank which had crashed on the unfortunate old hag.
The Slaugh smirked. “Is the girlie a bit sensitive?”
“No, the ugly oaf is a bit stupid,” Sealiea shot back, annoyed by how dense he was. The Slaugh frowned, looking confused.
“What do I do for Dagda?” she questioned condescendingly.
“Um, ya fight for him.” the Slaugh stated.
“And?” Sealiea continued.
“Um, interrogate for him.” The Slaugh scratched his head. Sealiea mourned the fact dolts like this were allowed to even breath, it seemed like such a waste of good air. They were parasites who fed on the souls of the dying but were easily repelled. There was a time when she could of crushed this one using only her bare fist.
“So why would an interrogator be disturbed, by a dead body?” It wasn’t really a question, Sealiea hadn’t been unsettled by a body since...No, she wasn’t going to think about that. Still, she had tea with Baba Yaga a few times and enjoyed her company while the older women shared tales of her travels. Like the time she had wrestled a crocodile, or even the times she’d been outwitted by someone. As Baba Yaga believed failure and embarrassment helped one learn from their mistakes. She always had good advice which had helped Sealiea on occasion.
The old woman was… had been an excellent cook, although Sealiea had turned her down on her offer of child soup, humans were way too fattening. Sealiea felt a bit misty-eyed at the sight, it was a shame such a sweet, wise woman had met such a bad end.
“Um, it’s messy.” The Slaugh was lucky she was currently on Dagda’s bad side, or she might just prove him wrong by ripping out some of his organs with her teeth. When Sealiea was a good little Siren, Dagda tended to ignore her thinning of his ranks. Actually, she was beginning to suspect Dagda sent these morons to her on purpose, by now he had to know how easily she snapped around stupid people. The Unseelie King was many things, but dumb wasn’t one of them. Luckily, the Slaugh decided to shut up and just simply go about his task, wrapping Baba Yaga’s corpse in her own carpet which Sealiea, suspected was made of human hair. The fairy had never been much of a waster when it came to her meals.
The ogre carried out the carpet, nearly missing Treasure, Jenny, and Dagda who still had his little prisoner. The little orange clownfish stared at Sealiea curiously from its glass prison. Treasure looked around uncomfortably. “Um, isn’t this Baba Yaga’s place?” he whispered. Her husband had always been respectful toward, Yaga, but he could never really get past her diet.
“She’s passed on,” Sealiea answered a bit somberly, bowing her head respectfully. The others followed suit, Baba Yaga had been a woman both respected and feared, but she often helped fairies both light and dark who were in need of guidance, even those who didn’t like her often sought her advice.
“You okay?” Treasure asked awkwardly.
“We weren’t really that close.” Sealiea admitted. “But….it’s a bit shocking,” she added hesitantly. “And it’s not like she hasn’t lived a full life.” Treasure gave her hand a small squeeze.
Dagda cleared his throat awkwardly. “She will be missed greatly,” he stated. Then the fairies and sirens quickly decided that although this was sad, their current plans were far more important. So Dagda and Jenny surveyed the dwelling for anything of Baba Yaga’s they could use. While Treasure happily stood in front of the tanks as he made faces at all the fish. One particularly plucky little angelfish made faces back much to his delight. Soon the two made a game out of it.
“Looking to replace me?” Sealiea teased lightly.
He pretended to think about it. “Well she is a lot more fun,” Treasure said. “But, she already has a partner.” The siren boy directed her attention to the other angel fish, which was playfully nudging the first one. “Besides I like my piranha just fine,” he said squeezing her shoulders. He got a smile in response.
“What about the Leanansidhe, my lord, do you want me to see too his delivery?” Jenny asked.
“Not now, I want him interrogated,” Dagda said while patting her cheek like she was his favorite pet with a nasty grin. Jenny grinned back eager to please, a slight blush on her face. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to summon the rest of the Court.” Then the king walked off.
Sealiea sighed. “Stop it, you’re embarrassing yourself.”
Jenny looked at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the water fairy said.
“Jen, we’ve talked about this, devotion to selfish guys isn’t healthy and will lead to heartbreak and trauma,” Sealiea said.
“Easy for you to say,” Jenny said. “You don’t look like a deformed alligator with a bad overbite.”
Sealiea scoffed. “Jenny, this is the Unseelie Court, more than half of you look like something that climbed its way out of a child’s nightmare.”
Jenny looked incredulous. “How is that supposed to make me feel better?” the Water Fairy asked.
Sealiea shrugged. “I’ve never been good at cheering people up, we can start killing until you feel better, okay?”
Treasure glared at her. “Sealiea!” he exclaimed. “That’s awful.”
Jenny grinned at Treasure’s theatrics. “Yes, well, I don’t want to kill anyone, I want to be courted.”
“That can be arranged, too,” Sealiea said. “Actually, that’s a lot easier than a Hollywood murder. “
Jenny rolled her eyes. “Do I really want to know?” she asked.
Sealiea shrugged. “Hey, it was a dare; you know I can never resist those.”
Treasure grinned. “ Oh, yes, we know, she once tried to steal Blackbeard’s treasure straight off the pirate ship and that was just during a game of Truth or Dare.”
“Please, Goldfish Tail, if you love me at all, you will never mention that humiliation again!” Sealiea cried dramatically.
Jenny smirked. “Oh, this has to be good if you’re humiliated.”
Treasure started to tell the tale of what was probably the most embarrassing experience of Sealiea’s life. Then Dagda returned, the whole Unseelie Court trailing behind him. In a monstrous procession of the weirdest, darkest, and in some cases the ugliest of Fairies monsters. At the head of the group were the guards. They were mostly gremlins with their teeth bared carrying wooden clubs; they were carrying a huge fluffy blue pillow where a snorting minotaur lounged. It was all muscle and its hair was well combed, a small crown perched on its head. Its beady black eyes filled with haughty arrogance.
“Careful with him!” Dagda snapped. “You so much as dent his horns...” One of the trolls tripped and the creature cried out as the procession. Dagda practically lunged at his guards. “Help him down,” he ordered.
“But, Your Highness,” one troll grunted.
“I said help him.” The biggest troll did so, as Dagda stroked the now freed minators head. “Shush, pet, daddy’s here.” The minotaur’s rage disappeared and it stopped raging as it was soothed by the Unseelie King’s voice. The creature merely sat down at Dagda’s feet obediently while it was being petted. “That’s my baby.” the Unseelie king said proudly.
“Big baby,” Treasure commented, his knees shaking slightly. The minotaur let out an angry snort. “Ahhh!” Treasure jumped three inches into the air.
“Don’t worry, Treasure I won’t let the big bad bull get you,” his wife said, laughing.
“I hate you,” the siren boy grumbled, cheeks burning.
“Fernando only kills those who displease me,” the Unseelie King said pointedly, eyeing the siren couple. Even Sealiea gulped as she eyed the half-man half-beast’s horn tips. For once she didn’t have a snappy retort. Instead, she proceeded to watch the green slimy goblins with greasy hair and dirt under their long nails. Then came the red caps who gave her and Jenny death glares. The blood dripped down their silken caps like red paint. Then came the Banshees and behind the banshees stood the nixies with blue skin and long dark locks of hair, their girlish faces twisted into sneers of contempt.
Dagda cleared his throat, everyone, in the Court turned to face him. “Oh, great, it’s a let’s brag about ourselves for five hours speech,” Sealiea grumbled.
“You could show a little respect, you know,” Jenny hissed angrily.
“He wanted to sell Treasure to Greyman, I’m not about to forgive him so easily,” Sealiea whispered curtly.
“Through my cunning and willpower,” Dagda said.
“Through deceit and threats,” Treasure muttered angrily. Sealiea looked at him for some reason, her partner was just as upset.
“I have brought you to the human world, which was once our lands through hard work and force.” Dagda continued. Treasure looked very annoyed.
“Through murder and violence.” he whispered to Sealiea.
“You know what? Forget this! Let’s just go out and do what we do best; cause utter chaos. Go destroy their pathetic human city!” Dagda yelled. “Then when we get back...” He shoved Rashell forward. The lewder members of the court let out whistles and catcalls, one particular moron made an extremely obscene gesture. Fairy mothers let out horrified gasps and some sought to cover their children’s eyes.
The irony, Sealiea thought, as she watched a fairy woman slap the offender. “Not in front of the tiny ones!” the fairie women snapped, gesturing at the children, who were fighting to get a better look. The Leanansidhe stood, there was defiance in the way he stuck out his delicate chin.
Dagda wrenched Rashell’s head up by his fluffy hair, whispers and shocked murmurs floated through the court. “Yes, the identity of one of Briar’s constant guards is revealed.”
“Ya expect us ta believe this slip of a boy has been killing our kin?” asked a dark elf incredulously.
“Don’t believe me if you wish, but it’s true,” Dagda said, looking at Rashell with indifference. To the Unseelie King, the only thing that mattered was taking over the Seelie Court. Everyone else was merely a pawn, to be discarded until he could finally kill Briar. Dagda turned back to his court, more precisely the children, with a charismatic smile. “So kids? What should we do with this traitor?”
The children immediately started shouting out answers. “Chop off his fingers!” yelled a small one.
“Tie bricks to his feet and thrown him in the lake!” suggested one girl.
“Light him on fire!” said another.
“Gut the bint!” yelled another.
“Cut him up and feed him to Jenny Greenteeth!” suggested one boy. He got a glare in response from the said water fairy. The ideas just kept getting more terrible and the children rowdier.
“Those all great ideas,” Dagda complimented the crowd with a dazzling smile.
“Yer bloody sick,” Rashell informed him disgusted.
“I thought you would appreciate their creativity,” the Unseelie King said innocently.
“Drop the charade, darling, ya gave yer word not ta harm me or me sister.” Rashell reminded him.
“I gave my word I’d deliver you both home safely.” He grinned. “I’ll keep my promise going home to the Wild Hunt, you are.” Realization entered the Leanansidhe’s eyes just as Dagda made a motion to the two trolls behind them who threw heavy metal chains on him. Rashell struggled as they closed around him easily.
The fairy let out cries of agony, and Sealiea could smell something burning. “Gag him,” the Unseelie King ordered. One of the red caps tied a piece of cloth around his mouth to muffle his screams of pain. Around her echoed the mocking laughter and cheers of dark fairies. Beside her Treasure’s face turned a greenish color.
“Treas? Treas?” she asked concerned. The merboy turned and promptly threw up on the ground. The Unseelie Court shot him looks of contempt.
“Bad squid!” he lied unconvincingly. Sealiea felt nervousness slice through her. Treasure had no business being in the Unseelie Court, and would never have joined if a certain death fairy hadn’t given him a job. His position had mostly kept Treasure away from the more brutal aspects of the Court, Reaper had even argued Treasure wouldn’t be as good at his job if he didn’t keep some sanity. However, lately, Dagda wasn’t too concerned with anyone’s mental state. Now her goldfish was swimming with the sharks, she just hoped he didn’t get chomped in the process.
Dagda turned their attention away from him.“Well, what are you waiting for? The human world awaits, go destroy stuff!” The Court ran out of the aquarium screaming and cheering. Treasure had a far off look on his face, Sealiea tapped his shoulder.” Treas, Treas?” she asked him gently.
“I’m fine Sealy, just bad crab,” that was said in a strange far off voice.
He cut her off. “I said I’m fine!” he snapped before turning and running back inside the aquarium/Baba Yaga’s cottage.
“Ugh, men!” The siren girl threw up her hands. “Jenny, hand me my spear, I need to go work out some frustration.”
The water fairy grinned. “Shopping spree?” she asked.
“Among other things,” Sealiea said with a disturbing smile. A few minutes later Sealiea and Jenny strode down the street as if they owned it the siren girl, shoving small valuables objects into the satchel she had stolen. While Jenny proceeded to try and beat the living daylights out of a spriggan for his ill-gotten goods, she had been doing well but then a red cap decided to get involved and run off with the spoils while they two were beating each other senseless.
“That spriggan was tough.” Jenny walked away with a black eye, and nothing to show for her trouble.
“You know I’m willing to share,” the siren reminded her, holding out her satchel invitingly.
“The only things of value are those you obtain by force,” her friend argued.
“Are you sure? Because you don’t seem like you’re having much luck and you’re unbearable when you’re hungry.” the blond siren argued. A tommyknocker charged them swinging his hammer, both of them dodged and Jenny broke the other fairies arm, while Sealiea took the opportunity to snatch the sausages under his arm. Sealiea’s green eyes lit up with excitement as she observed the chaos around her. She and Jenny passed by wrecked buildings that had been penetrated by fairy dwellings, the whole village had been dumped here, she saw a human arm hang limply from what looked like the inside of a wall. There were several loud noises as people in white hurried about hauling onto stretchers and into the back of a big white machine.
People ran around screaming as the dark fairies smashed and looted the shops, some were now a combination of elements from human and fairyland. Men and women in blue uniforms were ducking behind the debris as fairies shot magic or arrows at them, a few of them firing some strange metal object. Everywhere she saw humans crying or throwing things, or holding each other some of them were bleeding. Then something caught her interest.
She went over to the strange metal machine, one of those human contraptions that sat in the middle of the street. “ Help me!” the women in it rasped, brown hair matted, her white blouse caked with blood from where the tree had torn right through her rib cage, her dark eyes filled with pain. She reached out desperately; Sealiea leaned in close putting her hand on the woman’s shoulder almost tenderly then…snatched off the rather attractive scarf, which had been the thing that caught her eye.
Sealiea wrapped it around her neck and turned toward Jenny. “So how do I look?” She struck a model-like pose.
“Cold.” Jenny nodded toward the dying women.
Sealiea shrugged as the women let out a death rattle. “What, it’s not like she needs it anymore.” The siren laughed and turned to admire herself in the metal contraptions mirror.
Jenny winced. “Don’t tell me you feel sorry for her, you kill humans by the droves.” Sealiea snorted at her friend’s hypocrisy.
“She was impaled by a tree,” the water fairy pointed out.
“Only death befitting a filthy pest, like her,” Sealiea said venomously. “Speaking of which, let’s have some fun.”
Jenny waved her hand and the hoses the humans were using to put out the fire turned on them bucking wildly and spraying water everywhere. Jenny rolled on the floor howling as the human ran around trying frantically to turn off the hose. “That was a warm-up.” Jenny’s red eyes gleamed. “You ever heard of something called the sewer system?” she asked.
“Drowning them in their own filth does have a certain charm about it,” Sealiea stated thoughtfully as she took the boots off the dead woman’s feet and slid them on. “Too big.” She flung the footwear halfway across the pavement.
Jenny leaned down and sniffed the corpse, her mouth watering. “It’s still fresh,” she stated.
“You know you want to,” Sealiea sang.
“It’s wasteful to leave it.” Jenny decided already chewing on the fingers.
“So yay or nay?” she asked her mouth bloody from her meal.
“Okay, not yet though, I want to do some more scavenging first,” Sealiea admitted.
" Speaking of Treasure are you going to tell him?" Jenny asked her
" Tell him what?" Sealiea asked
" Keeping secrets about your past isn't good for a marriage" Jenny commented.
" What would you know about relationships, Mrs Spank me harder Daddy?" Sealiea scoffed
" Rough sex, still involves communication" Jenny returns. " That's why, I stopped hooking up with Reaper, in case you were concerned"
" Oh, I don't care" Sealiea informed her.
Then there was a loud scream.
“Keep it down, we’re trying to have a conversation here!” Sealiea shouted at the screamer.
“I think he’s burning alive,” Jenny pointed out. Sealiea hopped up off the car trunk and rushed over to go watch. Jenny shook her head and went back to her meal.