She tasted like honey and smelled like lilacs as her hair wrapped around me in the breeze. I never wanted it to end, this sensation of her lips on mine, her hair caressing my skin; the sun rising. It was completely perfect.
It had to end though.
I turned my head away in shame, guilt washing over me and most of all regret. Her and Ian were still together, not to mention she already rejected me not twenty four hours prior. Why?
"If you're kissing me out of guilt, please leave." I whispered not meeting her eyes.
"I-it's not-" I could hear the guilt laced in her voice.
"Isn't it? You feel guilty I'm going to die. I get it. You're going to feel worse any minute when you get to see it spread across my skin." I replied with a hallow voice sitting back away from her letting my feet sink into the sand as I looked over the pink and yellow horizon, the sun just peaking over the water.
"Time works differently here, I only came to tell you that you can have more time here. That it's not..." I could feel her eyes on mine- her words being chosen carefully. "It won't spread like it did in the normal realm. I made this place so I could spend as much time with Ian as I could before I died when it was made. Days and years can go by before it's been a day there. So maybe we can find another way to..."
It was almost worse to hear that kind of news- she sounded so hopeful but I could hear from the way that she trailed off that she knew better. False hope wouldn't fix this. The only thing that would was her.
"Why did you kiss me?" I asked running my fingers through the sand. It made me wonder if this was what it felt in real life too, soft and smooth and cool as it spilled between my fingers.
"Because you see me in a way Ian doesn't, and it's..." she ran her fingers over her lips. "Everything about this is so wrong." A small sigh escaped her. "A part of me just... wants you."
"No." I said feeling a bit queasy at the thought. Even my fated one didn't want me for me. "You want something new and exciting, you think you see something when we've only just met." the words came out bitter as I kept my face away from her.
"You're wrong." She said inching forward on her knees moving her hair over her shoulder to pull it away from her face. "You noticed when I was in pain- even when I'm in denial years later. Ian has no idea... or maybe he doesn't care. I can't tell." She'd say running her hands over her temples. "Do you have any idea how frustrating it is meeting you? How confusing? My life was perfect, I had no reason to be miserable and yet in the end I started to be. Then when I finally start to accept my fate and my dreams were a better reality then the brief moments I had awake- you shatter everything." she said throwing up her hands.
"Well I'm sorry I ruined your life by my presence. I was just trying to find a way to survive." I responded my face becoming more sour the more she spoke.
"You didn't ruin my life you just... made me face a truth. I'm unhappy Raven, I've been unhappy for a really long time and seeing you is confusing. I feel like you're my way out but I still love him and I don't want to hurt him and I just. I'm confused! Just give me a chance to try."
"Rose." I said putting up a hand stopping her as she scooted forward more. "I am not an out, I am a human being and so is Ian. You can't just try things with me and leave him in the dark. You also can't have it both ways. You also can't reject me and then kiss me like that!"
"Because it's not fair to me or him!" I growled standing up. "I get you have issues but seriously-"
"Raven please I'm doing the best I can."
"This is the best you can do?"
"Yes! I've never believed in fated ones, when I met Ian it was forbidden to be with him. It's more complicated then you think."
I stared at her for several moments, the sun now rising above the water no longer touching it's surface. The pain still hadn't come; so maybe she had been truthful about me having more time. For us to have time to figure this out... since it wasn't the rejection I first thought.
Slowly I sunk back down on my knees next to her. She really was perfect- the way her lashes seemed to brush against her cheek with the sun highlighting the tips with a slight gold. Her hair looked so unlike my own that I wanted to run my fingers through it.
Despite her being the one with the husband she was willing to try and it wasn't all from guilt. I guess that was a start. But I didn't have any experience with relationships.
"Then tell me."
"It's a very long story." She whispered frowning.
I bit my lip reaching out a hand to touch hers- my hand trembling. Every bit of me was sure she'd reject me and pull her hand away. She didn't though.
Instead she lifted her thumb and ran it over the back of my knuckles in a soothing gesture smiling a bit. "I'm willing to hear it if you want to take the time to tell it." I said softly, my cheeks turning slightly pink.