Have you ever felt like the whole world was on your shoulders? Like the fate of everything depends on the choices you make?
Well that was how I felt all night, though I may have over exaggerated a bit.
I thought it was a mistake keeping everything from Ace for another day, though Jenna said I should wait.
Could I even trust her? There was no reason for me not to, so why not?
It only made me want to see my mom sooner to clarify everything. I barely slept last night. I woke up every hour to check the clock. Ace even came to stay with me around 4 a.m when he felt my uncomfortableness, and that was how I caught a few Z's.
Now I was on my way to where my mom supposingly lived, and I was feeling all sorts of uneasy.
I thought about how I may not like the answers that I get. I thought about what if Ace or someone else finds out where I was. And most of all, I worried about whether or not Jenna was right about the reason why my mom hadn't revealed herself to me. What if she genuinely doesn't want to see me? What if Aiden and I are the real reason why she ended up here?
It was all nerve wrecking as I trotted down the dirt road that led to a small cozy looking cottage. I stood firm in my spot in front of the door for a few minutes, contemplating if I should leave or not.
Eventually, I mustered up the courage to knock once, then twice. There was no answer so I tried another time.
I felt both disappointed and relieved, as I wasn't sure if I was ready for this. But time was running out, I had to be brave.
After I stood there for another minute or two and there was still no answer, I decided to come back later or tomorrow. Ace took me off 'training duty' due to my pregnancy, so I had more that enough time.
But before I could turn around, a voice sounded behind me.
It was her.
Her voice was soft and kind, no hint of annoyance present. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't move.
I heard light footsteps climbing the steps, and my body only grew tenser as if a killer was making his way towards me.
A soft hand pressed to my bare shoulder, causing a shiver to run through my spine. She gently turned me around to face her, and my breath hitched when I saw her.
It was indeed my mom. The woman that hung from our walls, and filled our photo albums. She didn't look different in the least bit. Maybe just the few stress lines in her forehead, but they were barely noticeable.
Her brown eyes scanned mine for some sort of emotion, but all I could do was stared at her in shock.
"My baby girl" She whispered with teary eyes, as she used her thumb to wipe away a fallen tear from my eyes. I still just stood there speechless, but I was sure she understood.
Finally, she pulled me into a hug, and I slowly hugged her back, trying to ensure this was real.
She was here in the flesh. Blood flowing through her veins and all. She was alive, unlike what my dad told me all my life. It made me already doubt his judgement.
"You're alive" I finally found the voice to whisper. She pulled back so she could look at me, and she smiled wide and nodded.
"I am sweetheart. I always have been"
I smiled through the tears and pulled her back to me. It felt good being in her arms. I've missed out on it all my life.
It was then that I noticed that she didn't have the scent of our pack anymore. I pulled back to give her a confused look.
"What happened to you? " I asked in hurt. I couldn't imagine what she might've been through.
She sighed and gestured to the door. "Let's go in and we'll talk over some tea"
I followed her inside her warm house, and she led us to a small dining room. While she was brewing the tea, I took the time to look around the room. Just being in there made me feel like I hadn't lost her at all, like I knew her all my life.
"So I'm assuming you have questions" She started with a gentle smile. I retrieved the tea from her, mumbling a thanks before focusing on my goal.
"I do actually. But how have you been? Are you happy here? "
She smiled and rested her cup down."I have been fine. And I cant say I have been miserable, but happy? Not until recently."
"I don't even know where to start. Why did dad lie to us?"
"I don't know. Your father is a man of reason. But I'm thinking maybe he didn't want his two kids crossing pack borders to go find their mom" She chuckled.
"But would you blame us?" My voice cracked as more tears left my eyes. "We had to grow up without our mom. We missed out on so much "
"I know sweetie" She left her chair to comfort me, and I was more than happy to accept her warmth. I wasn't angry at her, and I wasn't sure if I was angry at dad either. I was just...hurt.
"Couldn't you have come back? Escaped or something?"
"Oh sweetheart I tried. I tried so many times, but John kept me as locked up as possible. Then he put a dog collar on me to keep me in pack lands"
I gaped at this. "That's awful! And Jenna allowed this to happen?"
John was terrible for doing that! And Jenna made it seem as if he wasn't the bad guy.
"You talked to Jenna? " She asked with a little shock. But before I could answer she added, "Of course you did. You're the Alpha's mate. I knew you two would've ended up together"
"Jenna said so" I smiled at the conversation I had yesterday. I could see why they were friends.
"How much did she tell you? "
I explained in short everything that I learnt yesterday, hoping that it was the truth and that mom knew where to pick up.
"So she left the hard part for me huh? "
"I didn't kno-"
"It's okay love. I don't mind digging up a few graves" I cringed at how that sounded which made her chuckle lightly and held me closer. I cuddled further into her arms as she continued the story.
"When Jenna lost her baby, John went crazy. I heard it was almost as if he was the one who needed medication. His behaviour only made Jenna more unstable, and as much as I knew John as an ass sometimes, he loved his mate"
I chuckled a little at her choice of words, despite the seriousness of the conversation.
"Having lost the baby plus John's craziness, Jenna was worse than I ever saw her before. Even when she lost her mom when we were teenagers was better than this. Ace was just a three year old toddler, and you and Aiden just turned two when John struck us unexpectedly.
"He blamed your dad for what happened to his baby, saying that if Blake hadn't had come to his pack demanding land, his wife and child would still be okay. I agreed with him for that part. " I gasped at that and slightly flinched back, but she only held me tighter.
"Hush child. It's only the truth"
I nodded and relaxed back into her. She was right, but I believed that both men's ego was the main cause of everything.
"As crazy as John was, he wouldn't dear hurt a hair on either you or Aiden's head to avenge his baby, so he targeted me. He launched a surprise attack on our pack, taking even more of your dad's land, took his people and he took me"
That was the story I heard all my life, only now it was the full version. Dad told us that Alpha John was just ruthless, power hungry and savage. Ruthless, he might of been, but hurt he was too. And as far as I know, hurt people hurt people. Mom sighed before continuing.
"He would've killed me and all those people, just to make Blake feel what he felt. Though we didn't know who pushed us to the ground that day, it was Blake who started the fight" She hung her head at that and I felt my inside churn. Jenna didn't mention that.
She nodded. "When John refused to give him the land that was supposingly his, he threw the first punch. Even though John could've escorted him out of his pack immediately, his ego wouldn't allow that. Jenna and I were foolish to try and break them up, but it all happened so fast"
I nodded in understanding as my tears resumed. This was why Jenna told me not to label my bad guy so quickly. But the sad thing was, even knowing all this, I still couldn't label dad as a bad guy.
Was that bad?
"John knew that Jenna would never forgive him if he killed me or anyone from my pack, so he forcefully mixed my blood and his, making me a member of his pack and cutting all my connections from my pack. He only did it with me"
"But that's illegal! " I gasped in disbelief.
"I know. But apart from the members that he took with me, every other member thought I died when the connection broke. But Blake? I knew he knew that I wasn't dead, since the mate bond didn't break. But that was enough punishment John could give Blake"
It all made sense now. That explained why everyone thought she was dead. Surely if anyone but dad knew she was still alive, I would've heard it somehow.
I assumed he told us that she died a few months after our birth because he didn't want us raging out in revenge if he told us this pack had 'killed' her. From the minute John took her he'd been planning ways to get her back I'm sure.
When everything else failed, he used Aiden an I, disguising it as a plan to get back the land and his people. Surely he wants them back too, but he wants mom more.
That's why he's been so determined about the mission. And he wouldn't dear tell anyone that she's alive, because he wouldn't dare open any doors to mistakes because of emotions. He's a smart one, my dad.
And when John died, it just made his job easier. Aiden and I weren't nearly finished training, so when Ace took over just in time when we had completed our training, he sent us already feeling like a winner.
His rules made so much sense now. He wouldn't risk us finding mom here, so he forbade us from wondering around Ace's pack, labeling it as 'idle and unprofessional'. When in reality, he just didn't want us to see her. He instructed us to stay away from members that still had our scent, saying it would lead us one step closer to being found out. When in reality, he didn't want them to tell us about mom.
He had this all figured out. Yes he wanted back his land and members, but he just really wanted his mate. And I wouldn't blame him, but he went about it all wrong.
Maybe I was being biased, but the minute Ace took over, he should've pitched a meeting and try to negotiate terms. But maybe he thought Ace was just like his dad.
"I was upset with Jenna for not trying harder to make him let me go, but then I remembered how hard headed John was, and that Jenna wasn't well. So that kind of pressure was too much for her. I still didn't see her, since seeing her was a constant reminder of what happened. It was recently when I saw you and Aiden I decided to go visit her. I knew I needed my best friend, even though she needed me for years and I was too selfish to visit her"
"You went through a lot. You cant blame yourself" I tried to assure her.
"But she did too. I'm just glad she's better. If I had known all these years that one visit could help her, I would've went from the moment John died. But life has its way of doing things"
She eased me out of her grasp to look me in the face. Her eyes were serious and her words were stern.
"I know my mate and I still love him so much. But I also know that my kids didn't come here to train. What ever Blake's plan is, your mate doesn't deserve to feel the fiery part of it. "
"I know" I sighed and hung my head. "But every time I try to talk to Ace about my pack, he brushes me off"
"Start with this. Tell him all that you've learnt, I'm sure he needs the clarity"
I cocked my head to the side and regarded her in confusion. "What do you mean? "
"I know that boy is trying to fix his dad's mistakes. He comes here sometimes you know, to check on me"
"Does-does he know? "
She chuckled at my scared expression but shook her head. "He doesn't know that I'm your mom. He thinks I'm a second cousin or something but I know he knows that something is off. He just never asked me what I know"
"So I should tell him the truth about the past, then I tell him about dad's plan? But what if he hates me for it? "
"He wont" She smiled and placed a hand on my tummy. "This baby is the agent that will bring peace between the two packs"
I gave her a teary smile as my heart soared for her. "You knew "
"A mother always knows when her child is gonna have a child" She pulled me into her arms again. "I just wish I was there for you growing up"
"Its not your fault. You did all you could"
"I should've done more. I hope you got my birthday cards though"
And yet again another gasp sounded from me as I remembered the birthday cards Aiden and I got every year since we turned 10.
"Dad always said they were prewritten"
"They were" She tucked a stray hair away that escaped my bun. "After I stopped fighting John, I wrote them and asked him that one favour to get them to Blake. Not for me or for him, but for my kids. Even John had a soft spot"
I relaxed back into her chest and mumbled a 'i love you' in her shirt. I wasn't sure she heard it until I felt a tear on my forehead.
"I love you too my sweet sweet girl. I'm so proud of the woman you've become. Oh I cant wait to meet my baby boy"
I suddenly felt exited at the mention of Aiden. Surely he wouldn't fight me once he knows everything. I think he should know about mom before Ace. Sometimes family has to comes first. He deserves to know.
I spent the whole day with her, and I knew Ace would be wondering where I was so I texted him to tell him that I was okay. I didn't want to mind link him, since letting down the wall to our link would flood him with all my emotions, and surely he would've came looking for me.
I had the perfect day, and though the few hours couldn't make up for the 18 years, it was more than refreshing.
"I'll be back soon, and I'll take Aiden with me"
I hugged her one last time, and she held me for dear life as if I wouldn't come back.
"I'm counting on it" She mumbled. "And before you go... " She disappeared into the living room, returning with a yellow buttercup flower. That's when it hit me.
"It was you!" I gaped. "You were always there with your shawl that covered your head and your face and you left the bouquets for me and and-"
She laughed at my babbling and placed the flower in my hair.
"Yes it was me. I knew you loved them by just the way you looked at them. They are my favourites too. "
My finger traced the flower in my hair and I launched in for another hug.
"You have me now sweetheart, I'm here for you. I'm happy you came"
She kissed my cheek and I gently kissed hers as she held the door for me. With one last glance, I exited the house and walked down the porch.
"Oh and Roxy" She called. I stopped and looked over my shoulder, seeing an amused smile on her face and a glint in her eyes.
"Just thought you should know that you were born first"
And just like that, my day was perfect.
I sat patiently in my room as I waited for Aiden to get home. Unlike me, he still had to go to training and he didn't get back until six.
We hadn't been on talking terms since the whole 'I'm telling Ace' incident, but I was sure he would be able to look past that.
I mindlinked him and told him that it was urgent, so I simply waited for him to come home.
After what felt like forever, my door flew open revealing a beaming Aiden with two glasses in his hand.
"You sounded excited so I assumed it was something to celebrate about. And its my way of saying sorry for over reacting the other day. I dealt with it"
He handed me a glass of sparkly liquid, but I shook my head.
"Its non alcoholic, sister" He teased as he nudged my shoulder.
"Well in that case, thank you "
I smiled at him and tilted the glass to my head, but I stopped abruptly when I smelled it.
"It's not non alcoholic but a hundred perfect poisonous though! " I shouted as I threw it in his face.
He didn't look the least bit surprised, just a bit regretful making my heart break into a million pieces.
The ultimate betrayal.
"What were you thinking Aiden!? "
"Roxy I wasn't trying to hurt you "
I scoffed. "And spiking my drink with wolfsbane wouldn't hurt me!?"
I bathed in wolfsbane for two days straight when I had to go back home. Even the slightest amount of the retched thing would be easy for me to scent out.
"Trust me Roxy, it wasn't meant to hurt you. I just wanted to... Well-"
I gasped so loud that I'm sure my lungs were left dry.
"You were trying to kill my baby! " I screeched. Surely, someone would've heard the commotion by now.
"Look I know you don't understand now, but I had a plan and your pregnancy wasn't safe with it. I was doing it for you"
I just hung my mouth wide open as I stared at him in complete and utter disgust. And the worse part was that he looked at me as if this plan of his was the ultimate jackpot.
"Was the mission that important to you Aiden? That you would murder your own unborn niece or nephew? "
"I'm sorry Roxy but if you would just listen to what I had planned-"
"I don't care! I had a plan too and it was far more effective than this "
"No Aiden" I stepped back as he took a step closer to me. "I don't want to hear your stupid excuse! You know how much this baby means to me Aiden. You know! All you had to so was trust me. We still have two months and I would've ended it all by tomorrow. But you Aiden..."
I slowly shook my head as I cried. I could slowly see his demeanour soften, but it was too late for sorry's.
"You just had to break my heart"
And that was it for him. For the first time in my whole life, I saw Aiden's eyes water.
"Roxy please just -"
"No! " I stopped him. "Don't you dare! I know I hadn't been doing much lately, and quite frankly I was first to betray you. But I knew how much this mission meant to you so I wouldn't have stopped until I found a way. And guess what Aide, I did."
I took a deep breath to calm my self before continuing."Get out Aiden"
His face morphed into fear, as I'm sure he heard how detached I sounded. He tried to say something again but I just couldn't.
"I said get out! "
I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs quickly, so I knew for sure that this conversation was over.
"Go Aiden. Just go! Go home to dad tell him everything! I was gonna tell him anyways"
Another wave of shock ran over him at my words, and I'm sure he was curious about what I was gonna tell him. But he lost that privilege when he tried to kill a part of me. Now he had just killed us.
"I said go! Go now! I don't want to see you here tomorrow"
Was I being harsh?
Maybe. But you don't try to kill a pregnant wolf's pup. Ever.
"Roxy i'm so-"
"GO! " I shouted once again, this time throwing the champagne glass at him. But he ducked just in time and it went flying towards the door, breaking beside Ace's head as he pushed my door open.
He looked between me and Aiden for a few seconds before rushing to my side. Aiden looked as if he was about to have a panic attack, since he knew that I alone wouldn't be angry if this came out.
"What happened here? Why are you so upset? " Ace's voice was laced with concern only, and through my tears I saw Aiden gulp.
"He tried giving me alcohol and we had an argument. He was just leaving" I shot Aiden a warning look and he gave me one last regretful look before hanging his head and walking out.
And there goes the man I thought was my brother.
"I come from the pack house hearing all this shouting. You look like someone really upset you and you're telling me that its because he tried to give you alcohol? "
Of course, it would be hard to convince Ace, but I didn't need him angry at that moment. I just needed him to comfort me.
"Just please hold me"
And i'm sure he heard just how much I needed him to do that, since he held me all night as I cried myself to sleep. I was happy that he didn't ask me the real reason, but how do I tell him that my best friend since conception just tried to take one of the most important things to me away?
I couldn't. At least not yet. And to think, the day was going so great.
So much for a perfect day.
Please don't hate me! 😅
I did say in the description that there would be betrayal. Its one the major themes! But with betrayal comes forgiveness right?... Well for the most part.
Wanna see how it all plays out? Just keep reading!
I love you guys! Thanks for the support! <3