"I'm in, for real this time" I told Aiden as soon as I entered his room. He smiled widely at me.
"I knew you would come around sis. But how do you plan to keep you know who at bay?" He asked.
I pondered my thoughts for a while. I was sure that I could manage to stay away IF I just kept myself occupied, but I wasn't entirely sure how long I could keep him away.
"I'll just have to make him hate me" I stated nonchalantly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, when in reality, that was nearly impossible. Hating your mate is like teaching pigs to fly.
My wolf, as expected, wasn't too fond of that idea. I knew it would be hard keeping her at bay, good thing I'm more in control.
Why am I doing this?
I couldn't bare seeing the look on everyone that I love faces if I should choose my own pleasure over what I vowed. It tears me up to be giving up Ace, but my subconscious was right, I can always find a new mate. The moon will grant me this one wish.
"How do you plan on doing that? From what I can see, he's already whipped" I mustered the most confident look I could make before answering.
"Aiden you know me, once I set my mind to do something, I will" I said with a pat on his shoulders. He gave me an unsure look, and I knew exactly what that look meant.
"That's what you said two days ago, then I found you almost kissing the guy" He pointed out.
"Look I know I messed up, it was hard. But now I'm not doubting what I want anymore, that's the difference"
He didn't look too convinced, but I could see that he had a little faith in my word. That's all I wanted.
"Good. We start 'training' tomorrow" He informed, using air quotes. "You'll only join us once a week for the physical stuff as you wished, but you have to tone it down Rox" He warned as I rolled my eyes.
"I can act Aiden. But Ace already knows that I passed basics so I cant act like I'm that horrible at fighting" I smirked as he gave me an annoyed look.
"You just had to show off your skills didn't you? I don't know what I'm gonna do with you" He chuckled, pulling me into a hug.
This is what's right. Being with family, making them proud. Do I even need a mate when you have family?
I can do this. I know I can.
"Roxy wake up!"
I groaned as the pounding on my door continued, Aiden calling me to get up. This almost felt like back home when we had training and he would wake me up every morning at five.
"I'm up!" I shouted as I dragged myself from the bed. I freshened up quickly, pulling my hair into a high ponytail before putting some training gear on.
The good thing about this mission was that even though we were already fully trained, we get to adapt some of their fighting skills and techniques, which we could use against them in the future also.
I went to the kitchen to get an apple before I headed out to the training grounds. I stopped dead in my tracks when the wonderful scent of my mate filled my nostrils. My body immediately went weak, but I quickly recovered, using all the strength I had to put on a show. Acting skills, don't fail me now.
I waltzed into the kitchen as if I didn't know he was there. I quickly grabbed the apple, trying to get away before he could say anything.
"Morning" He beamed. Shit.
"Morning" I mumbled uninterested, heading for the exit.
"Wont you need water too?" I let out a frustrated huff, as I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, still avoiding him.
I heard a chair scapaing against the floor, so I knew he was getting up. I tried to make a run for the exit but he caught my hand before I could move.
He spun me around so that I was facing him, and I tried my best not to look into his eyes. I couldn't stop the tingling that erupted through my body, so I pulled my hand from his grasp.
"You okay?" He asked quietly, concern laced in his voice.
"I'm fine" I mumbled, then made my way to the door again.
"You sure?" He asked, holding onto my hand again. This time, I yanked my hand away from him, surely surprising him.
"I said I'm fine" I replied harshly. "I need to get to training" I added, heading to the door without looking back. My chest felt heavy, but I had to keep reminding myself why I was doing this.
It's for the pack. For Aiden, dad, Phillip and all those people depending on me. I had no time for selfish desires.
I exited the house, silently thanking him for not following me. I was met with Aiden and Ryan talking.
"Hey Roxy" Ryan greeted with a sweet smile on his face.
"Hey" I replied simply. I still had to make them trust me. Even if Mr. Alpha was a lost cause, I still had these people to help me get my job done.
"Ready?" He asked us, before leading us to where the training grounds were.
It was bigger than ours back home, as expected. Wolves fought in their various circles, and I could see the various levels of skills in their moves.
I noticed that there were women too, something my pack didn't do. I had to admire the fact that they allowed their women to fight, demonstrating equality. I should really run the idea by dad and Aiden when we get back home.
"Welcome!" A guy around our age beamed. "I'll be your main trainer for the next four months" He announced excitedly, and I didn't miss the scoff that came from Aiden.
"We'll start off with some basics, then we'll evolve into harder things later on. By the end, you should be leaving here as an expert" He said directly to Aiden. "And you'll probably hit intermediate" He then turned to me, and I narrowed my eyes at him. If only he knew that I could crush him.
"Is there a problem little wolf?" He asked teasingly. That little fu-
"Come on Zack, no need to be taunting her" I froze. It's him.
"She might surprise you" He added, coming to stand beside me. What he even doing here? "There's no need to teach them the basics. I had a one on one with her yesterday, and I assure you that they are past that stage. Maybe even more" He whispered the last part in my ear, as a shiver ran down my spine.
"Yes Alpha" Was all Zack mumbled before taking his position. I suddenly felt annoyed. I could've defended myself!
"What are you doing here?" I asked without looking at him, starting my stretches.
"I couldn't miss my mate's first training session" He said teasingly, and I finally faced him with a pointed look.
"I don't need supervision. I can take care of myself"
"Oh I know you can, but I want to be here."
"Don't you have work to go do Alpha?" I asked unimpressed. This was the second time he was putting off work for me.
"I do. But it can wait" He casually shrugged as I rolled my eyes.
"Go. You don't need to be worried about who fights me." I knew that was the main reason why he followed me. Alphas and their protectiveness.
He didn't make a move to leave, but he didn't answer either. I took it as a sign to just ignore him.
We spent the next hour re-learning things we already knew. Ace watched the whole time, keeping his eyes trained on me with an impressed look on his face. Shit am I being too good again?
"You can take a break" Zack announced, heading to his water.
"That fast?" I asked, feeling not in the least tired. They gave me shocked looks, while Aiden shot me 'tone it down' look.
"Aren't you tired Roxy?" Zack asked curiously, while I increased my panting a bit to give the impression that I was indeed tired.
"Of course I am. I just thought you guys were tougher than that. That's all" I lied, grabbing my water.
"Remarkable strength and stamina" Ace whispered in my ear, making me yelp in surprise. "You can fool them but I know you aren't tired. What's your secret?" He asked, making my heart rate pick up a notch.
"I have no secret. I'm just a determined wolf with Alpha blood. You of all people should know what that means. Now can you please leave" I snapped, even though that was the last thing I wanted.
"But your brother is Alpha blood too, and you seem to be holding up way better than him" Yea that's because he's a better actor than me!
"Look I don't know okay? But you need to leave, you're distracting me from my mission" I cringed at the double meaning.
"Do I make you nervous ma cherie?" Yes, yes you surely do.
"No. But can you just leave. I. Don't. Want. You. Here" I gritted out. The look of hurt took over his face immediately, and all I wanted to do was take back those words, but I couldn't. I had to be strong.
He reluctantly turned and left, leaving me and my heart almost shattered. Every time I had a regret, I just had to remind myself why I did what I did.
I looked to Aiden and he gave me an impressed look, expressing his shock and delight through our mindlink.
I wasn't too happy though, I was upset for the rest of the session, and Aiden had to constantly be telling me to tone it down, since my snappy mood increased my strength.
After we were done, I went back to the house to freshen up, then invested in a movie till I decided to fall asleep. A knock on my door distracted me a little, but I was too distracted to focus on who it was, so I shouted for them to come in.
"Hey you got a minute?" Ace asked and I shot up immediately. I silently cursed myself for not focusing.
"Um yea sure" I said with the a straight face.
His eyes roamed down my body, and that's when I remembered I was wearing nothing but Aiden's shirt. I felt my heart race up under his intense gaze and I had to resist the urge to let him do whatever that was running through his mind.
"Is everything okay? You know, with you and me?" He inquired after clearing his throat and meeting my gaze once again.
"What do you mean?" I asked, even though I knew what he meant. I was just giving myself more time and strength to do what I was about to do. I pushed my wolf back, put on a brave face and readied myself.
"Yesterday we were actually making progress, but today you were distant again" He said, taking a step towards me, but I stepped back simultaneously.
Remember the mission. Remember the purpose. You can do this.
"Yesterday was a mistake" I lied, and pain flooded his features immediately. " You want to know why I've been distant? I didn't want a mate, I never did and I still don't"
"That's a lie" He whispered, looking pained.
"It's the truth. Hurts doesn't it? Well too bad, that's just life. I came here with one purpose and that was to complete my mission, then go back to my pack, and that still hasn't changed. Meeting you was just a mere stumble in my path." I claimed with as much firmness I could muster.
"No. Please don't. You cant change my mind. I admit, the mate bond did pull me, but I had a wake up call and I'm back. I don't want you" I cut him off. His face fell even more, if that was even possible.
"What?" He asked almost inaudibly.
"I don't want you" I whispered, trying my best to not let my face or voice falter. He seemed to believe me, as I saw his eyes glaze over and he quickly left my room.
I fell onto the bed, burying my head in my hands as my tears started to fall. The truth is, I really did wish things were different. I really do want him, but I want happiness for my pack even more, even if that meant betraying my mate and waging war on his pack.
Maybe this was the universe's sick way of paying him back for what his pack did to us. But why do I have to suffer too? Maybe it will work out differently?
With everything in me I wished things will get better, that there will be some magical force that makes me get the best of both worlds. Yet deep down I knew that would never happen.
I climbed onto my pillow, burying my face in them as more tears fell. I haven't cried in ages. Who would've thought that the great Roxy would be in her mate's house, crying because she just falsely told him that she doesn't want him?
I felt drained, too drained than I should've felt. I didn't even have the energy to finish my movie. I cried even harder when I thought about all the other times I'd have to act this way towards him, knowing this wont keep him away for long.
Maybe after a couple weeks he'll finally give up, or I'll push him well enough that he completely hates me.
He'll move on and find someone to make him happy. He deserves better than me, a girl on a mission to ruin everything he has.
Sighing, I closed my eyes, trying to think of something else until I fell into deep, miserable slumber.