Copyright © 2020 Uzomah Chelsea .N.
All rights reserved.
Photo credit: IBR Graphic studio
Today was the day. The day she had once looked forward to for so long. A day that she had looked forward to with hope and promise every year since she had come of age.
A day she wished would completely disappear from history. A day she wished she could forget. Today was Páliükez, a special day when each fae who was of age could find their chosen. There would be a three day celebration afterwards to celebrate the newly found soulmates and their bond.
The excitement of the day began two days before. The happiness, the cheer, the preparation, the hope, laughter and joy. She hated it. Hated it with everything inside her. Hated how some who had not found their chosen were twittering on about it and could not seem to stop. Hated seeing the hope in their eyes, sensing their expectation.
She hated most of all how those who had already found their chosen were more lovey dovey and cozy during this time, more than usual. Holding hands and looking at each other with so much love and complete adoration.
Today, vows would be made and renewed. Promises to care for each other, protect them with everything including their lives, love them for the rest of their lives, cherish them and to do say again in paradise and in their next lives. It was all disgusting.
She would never tell anyone else but herself. She was bitter. Badly so, because she wanted for herself what she saw today and had wanted it for such a long time. Because she couldn't have it because she wouldn't allow herself to. Because who ever was in charge of her fate played a cruel prank on her and decided to keep it that way. Because she refused to get her heart broken like before.
It was nearly midday and fae were already gathering. Elves, fairies, sprites, nymphs, , goblins, gnomes, pixies, dwarves, even weres. Some would've already found their chosen by now. She walked past them, away from the city, the town and into the forest.
Everything, as usual in the winter realm, was covered in white. In snow, ice and frost. The only natural colours in the forest were white, the brown and black of bark, stone and fur, green of the trees and plants covered in frost and the blue of ice.
She preferred to be away from everyfae right now. In a place where it was just her and her thoughts alone. In a place where she could cry, scream and stew in peace before she went back to face more disgusting torture. She was already going through enough.
There were still fae around but scarcely. She could deal with that. She just needed to go deeper. Along the way, she saw a pixie girl, she had short black hair that met her neck in an inward curl.
She was wearing a cool blue sleeveless dress that complimented her skin. She was just standing there, her eyes seemed to be somewhere else. Her wings alight. She knew what that meant. The girl had just felt the connection between herself and her chosen for the first time.
No sooner than the thought crossed her mind did her chosen appear. He was a fairy. The pixie girl turned, her eyes meeting his. He had blond hair that met his shoulders and he was lanky even in his dark green shirt and pants, his own wings alight.
From her vantage point she couldn't tell the colour of their eyes. But she could sense the emotions coming off of them, knew them too. She walked on. She hated it.
A part of her heart was happy for them, they would be happy together and a part of her heart despised it, because they clearly had what she wished to have.
She hadn't gone much deeper when another scene met her eyes. She felt angry, hurt, she felt like crying.
There was a couple in front of her. The one couple that she had been avoiding all week. The one couple she didn't want to see today. She felt the tears well up in her eyes. Shanire and Reyim.
Shanire was in Reyim's lap. They were sharing a kiss. She left. It didn't look like they would be out of it anytime soon.
It was exactly five years today that they found each other. She could remember it clearly.
It was Páliükez again. She had come of age two years ago and she still had not found her chosen. She had dreams about him, never seeing him clearly. Maybe he would come or maybe that was just her.
She liked a particular fairy for as long as she could remember. He had returned from his four year training and she had her hopes high that it would be him. Reyim. They had been good friends, that night she hoped they would be more.
She had dressed up in her best favorite. A pale purple long sleeved dress and left for the ceremony. She went with her parents. They would renew their vows for the two hundreth time.
The ceremony went wonderfully, there was music, dance and food. Even when the ceremony was over she still had hope. Many found their chosen at night, long after the ceremony was over.
She hadn't seen Reyim at all, even asked around. No one knew where he was, so she went to look for him. He never liked such large gatherings, he preferred smaller ones and there were a few places she knew he would go. She had already gone to three of them. 'Oh well' she thought. 'Three more to go.'
She went into the woods, not calling out since there was only one place he would go. She headed there. Ready to give him a lecture about leaving without telling anyone, only to find him with Shanire, a fairy girl who never liked her for some reason and a few years ago she decided the feeling was mutual, both their wings alight. Her hands in his black hair, his hands cupping her face, her dark hair in a mess as they shared their vows and a kiss.
Her heart broke into a million tiny fragments that day and broke a bit more as she remembered. The tears welling up in her eyes finally started falling. She started running. Screaming in her head how it wasn't fair.
It would be another year before she would meet her chosen and he didn't even acknowledge her, even when she was dreaming. Constantly rejecting her. Shattering what was left of her already broken heart, making it bleed more than it ever had. It wasn't fair.
She ran and kept running till she ended up on the other side of the forest. Even at that she kept running. Her white hair billowing behind her, as white as the fast spreading frost she left behind. She wished she could fly, fly till she couldn't breathe and fall to the ground and end it all. Maybe that pain would distract her from this pain.
Her father was a fairy but her mother was an elf. She looked alot like her father, a fairy, but without the wings that graced his or any other fairy's back. She inherited her mother's stature. Her long legs and wide hips. She got the speed and reflexes of an elf and the magick that came with both.
She wished she could keep running, stay away till this damn day and the days after would be over but she couldn't. She only had two hours to herself and then she had to go back. She had work to do. She sighed. Even that like everyday was torture and even more so today.