There's No Mourning for the Forgotten
Drowning is such a painful way to die.
Water fills up your lungs and each breath only serves to bring in more of it into your convulsing body. It’s a horrible feeling really, and there’s nothing you can do about it. In that moment you become fixated on something, anything to block out the grim reality.
And so she immersed herself in memories.
She almost drowned once. She was only eight at the time, a small gangly child with bright eyes and a wide smile. The local lakes had always been a popular attraction during the sweltering summer months. The smell of grilled meat, the sounds of children laughing and yelling with delight were comforting. She had been running in the knee deep water when it happened. Before she realized it, she was already under. The pit she had fallen into seemed to be bottomless as her tiny feet struggled to find purchase.
Time seemed to slow then.
Looking up she had seen how the sunlight danced across the surface. The way it glimmered reminded her of those cheap plastic turquoise gems that decorated the little crown she so adored. In reality she was only under for a couple of seconds before she was able to propel herself out of the pit. But for a split second she was content with the vision above her. She thought it was beautiful.
But this was different from then.
Hands wrapped around her neck, nails biting and twisting themselves into the raw skin. There was no crystalline waters above her, no sunlight reaching down to caress her face. Instead only cold murky water enveloped her and the only thing that filled her vision was the blurred outline of the one who held her under.
There was nothing beautiful about this.
But what was worse was the utter sense of terror that filled her.
She didn’t want to die.
But her body was too weak, too tired to keep fighting. Darkness had already started to curl up around the edges of her consciousness. She gave one last attempt at breaking free, feet weakly kicking at nothing.
The hands around her neck tightened and she was slammed down against the jagged rocks underneath. Upon impact there was a sickening crunching sound and the darkness rushed in at once.
The whisper of a thought crossed her mind before the darkness fully took over. I have to go home. Mom’s waiting for me. And then there was only silence.
She woke to the taste of blood. The taste itself was muted, as if trying to hide itself to no avail. Automatically she tried running her tongue over teeth to get rid of the unwelcome taste. They felt jagged and she only assumed she was feeling the ends of her broken teeth.
That was the only reasonable explanation she could come up with at the moment.
Her body felt heavy and it took her a couple of moments to realize that her body was half submerged in water. Her mind went into overdrive as she began to piece together the snippets of information from her environment. Then she began to remember what had happened.
Maybe they assumed she was already dead and left her body there.She laid there for a couple of minutes, too scared to move in case they were still around. The grey sky stared back a her, small patches of light blue peeking through the clouds. In the distance she could hear faint chirping, a small welcome within the bleakness of her existence. As she laid there, she began to formulate a plan.
Once she was convinced that there was no one around she would leave as quickly as possible. She wasn’t exactly sure of the extent of her injuries and the sense of numbness didn’t help.
She would go to the police....or the hospital. Whichever came first. And then...
Her mind went blank. And then what?
She came to sickening realization that she couldn’t remember her name. Her hand automatically rose to touch her head and she froze at the dull clinking sound it made upon contact.
A haze of panic began to overtake her vision and she forced herself into a sitting position. Pink tulle. That’s the first thing she saw. It took her a moment to realize that it was part of her dress....or at least what remained of it. The puffy tulle skirt was half submerged in the water, the edges tattered and covered with dirt.
She lifted her hands to look at them and screamed.
She stared at the foreign hands made out of polished mahogany wood like material. With a sense of dread she gently tapped her fingers together, taking note of the small dull Clinking sound they made upon contact.
“I died.” The reality came crashing down to her and she blankly stared at the space in front of her, not completely sure whether she was willing to accept it just yet.
The voice itself felt strange to her ears. It wasn’t hers. She didn’t know exactly how but she knew it wasn’t hers. The body felt awkward and heavy as well, and it took her a couple of seconds to realize that despite the freezing temperature of the waters....she couldn’t really feel it.
It was wrong...It was all wrong........wrongwrongwrongWrongWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG!
She lurched forward, screaming for a response. For someone. “Help! Someone help me!”
But no one answered.
She sat in the muddy water screaming until she finally lost her voice.
Her shoulders slumped in exhaustion and she just sat in silence. As time passed the sky above her eventually darkened until she was only faintly illuminated by the moonlight. It wasn’t until it began to get lighter again when she began to move.
She couldn’t stay there forever.
It took her a couple of tries before she was able to stand on her own feet. She automatically recoiled from the feeling of the water, soaking her clothes and causing them to stick to her body. The sight of the dark murky water caused a sense of panic to settle over her.
Before she realized it she was already scrambling away in an attempt to reach firm ground. As soon as her feet touched the ground her body gave out and she dug her fingers into the dark soil. It took her a moment to realize that she couldn’t feel her heart thudding against her chest. Slowly a hand reached up to press against her chest.
With mind whirring she held her breath, awaiting for the tightening feeling in her chest. After a couple of moments she realized that she didn’t have a need to breathe.
It shouldn’t be possible.
Yet here she was. With her face pressed against the dirt, she hoped it would swallow her whole.
Her shoulders began to shake and she threw her head up, baring jagged teeth at the sky. “Why?!”
The world remained silent to her demands.
Looking down at her arms, she noticed long delicate strands of broken strings attached at her joints. The feeling of utter repulsion filled her and she immediately ripped them off, throwing them into the water.
A sense of relief overcame her as she watch them them float away....although she wasn’t sure why.
A glimmer of white caught her attention. In the far distance she could make out the faint outlines of the skyscrapers. The sight brought her a sense of vague familiarity but the more she tried to remember, the more it faded away.
Rage began to bubble up within her.
Someone did this to her. She knew she had a life, a family out there and someone....took it away from her.
Her hand clenched into a fist as she gazed at the city with narrowed eyes. “Just you wait,” she promised. “I don’t care how long it takes or what I will have to do but I will find you.”
Her lips stretched into an animalistic smile. “And once I do, I will enjoy every second of ripping you apart.”