“My name...” I repeated slowly, my fingers not faltering once. I brought my lips close to her ear, my breath fanning her skin. “Out of everything that I can give you, right here, right now, you’d like to know my name?”
Radha’s throat bobbed and she trembled slightly in my arms. I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold, or from the trail my fingers were making slowly down her stomach, towards her abdomen. I was on autopilot, my mind blank, the texture of my mask on my nose ghostly to me. All I could feel was Radha’s warm skin, her soft, smooth skin. Her heavy breathing echoed in my ear, her pants reminding me of the day Saira patched her up; of the day I wanted so desperately to claim her as mine. The day Mohini evaded my mind, my body moving on its own accord.
I took a deep breath, my eyelids fluttering at her soft gasps. “I could have given you jewels, gowns, materialistc objects. I could have given you the desire you dreamed of ever since our kiss, the craving that we’ve both been fighting to give in to.” My hands dipped lower on her skin, her body damp underneath me. I felt my hands spark, my power sizzling in my palms, begging me to tear the gloves off, to fell her damp skin on my gloveless hand. I resisted the temptation, though, knowing with a spark of guilt what had happened the last time I gave in. Besides, I knew human women could grow wet easily, but I didn’t want her to come right now. Underneath me, that was where I would claim her.
My sense of humanity faded with every soft groan escaping Radha’s lips as my hands wandered, my lips pressing on every bare part of her neck, her cheeks, the corner of her lips. She was a visionary.
Dark tendrils of hair coiled at her breasts, some going further down her curved back. Her skin was plush and soft, unlike Mohini’s hard, rough skin. Her hands roamed my shoulders, gripping at every euphoric touch, at every sound I brought from her lips as she awaited my answer.
I didn’t want to keep her waiting, but I wanted so badly to remain quiet, to bask in the atmosphere I had created. Tension was high in the air, Radha straining in front of me. She was struggling to keep quiet, her lips pressed in a tight, thin line. Her eyes fluttered open and close, her chest heaving.
She’s so gorgeous, I thought to myself, cupping her soft skin. She pressed against me, but I knew she wasn’t ready for me, not today, not tonight. I wanted to dig my claws into her, to feel her convluse underneath my hands, but images of Mohini’s dead, ashen body filled my mind and I controlled the urge to rip my gloves apart. I didn’t want Radha to share the same fate.
What am I doing? I briefly thought as my lips met hers in a passionate, searing kiss. She isn’t ready for me. Why am I touching hr like this? I am not ready. We will only be making a night of regret, not a night of love. She needs to know that I love her, doesn’t she?
Mohini’s eyes flashed in my mind, her dark, teary eyes. It was as if she could see what I was doing; that she could see my betrayal. My heart dropped, but with a sharp growl, I pushed the image out of my mind. I was not bertaying her. She had betrayed me. I was moving on; I was finding love with another.
Was I, though? Was I really finding love with Radha? Was I really looking for our connection right now, just as we kissed each other slopily, her lips wandering on my cheek, her head thrown back against my lips on her neck. Or was I only using her to take my sexual desire out; to fuck her raw and leave her once she was done. Once she had come, once I realized that there was no connection between us.
No, I thought gruffly. I’ll fuck her when I’m ready and when she’s ready. When I’m ready to find our connection, hopefully, if there is any. I swallowed slowly, her hands gripping my cloak, brushing against my abs. I bit her bottom lip, asking for entrance.
Eagerly, she complied, unaware to the conflicting feelings in my gut. A part of me wanted to fuck her so badly, to hear her moan and gasp my name, to feel the rush of her liquid spallter on me. I wanted so badly to feel her body press up against mine, to feel her roll against me. I wanted to hear those gasps, those moans, those pants.
I wanted to hear them for me.
It was selfish, I knew, and that’s what held me back. I hadn’t fucked anyone since Mohini. Her teary eyes and broken frame flashed continuously in my mind, torturing me more than she had in the past few months.
It’s because I’m thinking about her, I thought. I wasn’t thinking about her before, but now I am. I keep seeing her, her hurt filled eyes. I’m not betraying her; this was her fault, a mistake she made, a punishment I’m facing, and a punishment I’ll be fixing soon.
I can’t make love to her, though, I continued in my inner monologue. It wouldn’t be right to either of us. I’m still...moving on, and she doesn’t deserve someone who can’t make love to her, and only her. She doesn’t deserve someone who thinks about another woman while making love. Radha is moe than that.
Reluctantly, I pulled away from her, a string of saliva connecting our lips. Her half-lidded gaze searched for my own eyes, and it took a moment for me to remember the question she had posed to me before I indulged in my short fantasy.
“Rohan.” I spoke clearly, unafraid. “My name is Rohan.”
“Rohan...” my name rolled off her tongue like syrup, her large eyes searching for my reaction in the darkness.
She couldn’t see it, but my lips twisted up in a smile, my padded hands grazing her silky soft skin. I kept nearing her mound, but retreated just as quickly, forcing control into my mind.
“Yes, Radha. My name is Rohan,” I confirmed, licking her lobe, leaning into her lips again.
She sighed, cupping my jaw, pressing me closer. I gripped her hair, putting more pressure on her mouth against mine. I didn’t want to let go...
“Why didn’t you tell me your name before? Were you afraid?” She whispered, her voice hoarse and slightly raspy.
I smirked, enjoying how needy I made her sound. “I was afraid,” I admitted. “I did not initially want you to know anything about me, for fear you had heard of me before. True, I do not usually leave the dome, but when I do, I always manage to find trouble. Before the auction, I had been confined in my palace for nearly a century.”
Radha giggled, her hands brushing my jaw. “I did hear of you, Rohan, but not by your name. You were simply ‘the monster’ in the woods. I’m not sure if it was you, or maybe Damien or Lucifer, but you certainly were a legend in my village.”
“Mukhauta was never like what your village is, at least, not when I was...human,” I said, faltering slightly. “It was a beautiful, colorful, sprawling city with lush plants, bright houses, and playful citizens. Nobody was poor, and nobody complained about any living situations. You could say that it was the ideal city.” A wistful sigh left my lips as the image of the kingdom I would have once ruled patched in my mind.
Radha smiled, her fingers trailing over my lips, brushing against my fangs. “It sounds lovely,” she murmured.
I hummed. “It was. It was beautiful...everything was beautiful...It’s my fault that it’s gone. That your village lives in poverty.”
Radha frowned, her expressions clear to me in my night vision. “It’s not your fault, Rohan.” She tested my name on her lips again, still unsure as how to use it. “You fell in love, and you got your heart broken. You can’t blame your emotions on the fate of your kingdom.”
“But it was my fault, Radha,” I admitted brokenly. My voice cracked harshly, and slowly, my hot desire sizzled out into a cold, guilty feeling. One that drenched my flames, flowing through my veins. “I let my emotions get the better of me, and I was punished for it.”
Radha’s fingers paused on my face, and a low exhale left her chest. “I won’t ask you,” she said. “But whatever happened, happened. You can’t change it, you can only move on from it, Rohan. I understand that you loved Mohini, and I won’t pressure you to, but...it hurts to see you miserable...”
“I know,” I mumbled, pressing my forehead against hers. I could feel her mound pressing on my crotch, and I was sure that she could feel the desire I was holding for her. “I’m getting there, I promise. I’m sorry, I know...I really want to...” my hand dropped to cup her ass, and I squeezed the plump flesh there, drawing a sweet sound out of her lips.
“I can wait, Rohan. You’re still figuring things out for yourself, and I know Saira said you like to...um...have sex to understand a connection, but maybe we should wait. Just until you’re ready enough to forget about everything, even if it is just for one night,” she suggested shakily, gripping my shoulders firmly.
I licked my lips, leaning towards her shoulder and biting the skin there, careful to keep my fangs from piercing her body. “I understand,” I murmured, dejected, but knowing that she was right. I couldn’t in my right mind, fuck her with Mohini on my mind. Fairness aside, I didn’t want to think about a pale, hideous Medusa like face with broken, betrayed eyes and raised claws, ready to strike as my hands penetrated her.
As I killed her.
I shivered, taking a deep breath. “I do need some more time, Radha, but I assure you, you won’t be a virgin for long.” I captured some escaping confidence, squeezing her ass again and burying my face in her cleavage, licking her skin. “I promise you, as soon as Mohini’s image leaves my mind, you’ll be the first thing I do.”
Radha laughed shyly, her fingers threading in my hair. “I...I’m not really sure what to say, but I’m glad you’re working on it, Rohan. I...nevr mind.” She brushed her words aside, but my curiosity peaked and I looked up at her from her large, delicious body.
“What is it?” I asked. I sat up, her legs straddling me. I cupped her cheek, holding her jaw firmly in my hand. “Tell me.”
Radha blushed, fumbling with her words. “Well...I...I can’t lie, then. I have been dreaming of this...even though we’ve only been together for a few months...”
“I have been dreaming about this too,” I growled lowly, an image of Mohini flashing in my mind. I shook my head. “Whenever she doesn’t torture me, you’re body writhing underneath me is all I think about, excuse my forewardness. I...” I looked away. “Shit, I shouldn’t have said that. I apologize.”
Radha shook her head. “No! I don’t mind...I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t the only one thinking that,” she admitted, biting her bottom lip. She glanced at the wall across from us, and I followed her eyes, my mind whizzing.
“Will you shower with me?” She asked, her voice meek and soft. “I...I didn’t shower yet; I was going to when you came. Would you...?”
I think that she was expecting me to deny, especially after we both agreed that I needed to expel Mohini from my mind before we could have sex. She surimed in my lap, ready for me to refuse and for her to leave.
I didn’t, though. I gripped her hips, keeping her body close to mine. “I would love to shower with you,” I murmured into her ear, despite us being the only two people in the room.
I couldn’t see her expression, but my mind went blank when she kissed me again, her lips warm and sweet atop mine. I growled, lifting her into my arms and striding into the bathroom. I fumbled for the door knob, her lips teasing mine.
Shutting the door with my foot, I easily stripped myself of my clothes, aware of her eyes traveling over my muscular, blue frame.
I winked at her over my shoulder. “Get used to it; you’ll be seeing this view more often,” I teased, fixing my mask on my face and pushing my gloves to the brim of my fingers.
Radha smirked. “Oh, I’ll get used to it, all right.” She walked with a seductive sway of her hips to the shower stall. “Only if you can control yourself, Rohan.” She purposefully dragged my name on her tongue, playing with me.
I snarled lowly, grabbing her hands and holding them firmly behind her back. She gasped, a giggle slipping her lips, and I shut the shower stall door, the hot water dribbling onto our bodies and rolling down our skin.
“I love your name, Rohan,” she murmured, gazing up at me. “Honestly, I did like Raja better, because you’re a King, but Rohan suits you just fine.”
I beamed, rubbing the soap on my hands. “I’m glad. I love the way my name sounds on your tongue,” I admitted. Whenever Mohini said my name, it sounded condescending, like I was her child and she was scolding me. With Radha, though, it was different. To me, it sounded like rich honey, like sweet nectar. My name coming from her sounded like a plea, a moan, a heavy, delicate sound that I wanted to hear every day.
I dipped my gloved fingers gently into her hair, immediately drawing a short moan out of her. She leaned against me, her eyes closed as I soaped her up, my fingers brushing over every part of her skin shamelessly. I would have rather been doing it while pulsing inside of her, but this would have to suffice, just until I could rip Mohini from my mind.
Surprsingly, we had actually never showered together, but just as quickly as the comparison came up in my mind, I swept it away. Collecting Radha in my arms and pressing her against my hip, I easily scrubbed her, kissing her gently on her lips.
“When the time comes, I promise, I’ll have you moaning on this wall, right here, as I fuck you raw,” I growled, my tongue exploring her entire mouth. She moaned repeatedly, her hands gripping my body, her nails trailing against my skin. Her chest heaved and she gasped in my mouth, her tongue submissive against mine.
“Rohan...” she managed, swallowing shakily.
I growled, feeling her soaked slit rub against my hip-bone. Mohini had never sounded like this. She never let me take control. She never sounded so needy, so wanting. She never begged me, grasped me, moaned out my name.
God, I wanted to fuck her now.
I pulled away from her mouth quickly, the thought burning in my mind. I needed to control myself; I needed to make sure I was completely free of any other woman. We weren’t ready...for now.
Once Gabriel’s visit is over, I consoled myself. Once Gabriel is gone, I will fuck Radha, if it’s the last thing I do. I’m fucking tired of Mohini messing up my life, and by now, I don’t give a damn if she’s still in my mind or not. She’s dead, and there’s nothing I can do about it...even if it was my fault...
“Rohan?” Radha’s questioning voice brought me back to our shower. I blinked, my vision focusing on her inquisitive brown orbs.
In the bright light of the shower, and even sometimes in the dim light of the moon, I could see a violet streak in her eyes. It was rare, but somehow, it reminded me of Mohini more than it should of, despite knowing that it was only a trick of the light. Just a trick of the light...
“I’m fine,” I assured before she could ask. “I just zoned out, that’s all. I promise, I’m okay.” I set her down on her feet, keeping an arm wrapped firmly around her waist. Looking at her now, despite my annoyance, there were many distinct similarities between Radha and Mohini, just as there were differences.
They both had a violet glow in their eyes, as well as coiling black hair and delicious brown skin. While Radha made me feel things that I have never felt for Mohini, there was still their physical characteristics, which were eerily similar. I know I was supposed to be forgetting Mohini, but...
“Radha, will you join me for my meeting?” I blurted, my eyes immediately flickering down to see her reaction. The sentence just flew out of me before I could even comprehend what I was saying, but surprisingly enough, Radha’s damp, wet head bobbed up and down in agreement.
“Sure,” she said. “I’ll come with you.”
“Yeah. I have to admit, I’m interested to see who exactly this visitor is,” she admitted.
“Well, he’s one of Lucifer’s one-night stands, if that helps at all,” I explained vaguely, turning the knob for the water off.
Radha shook her hair, droplets flying around the stall as I reached for the towels. “I actually haven’t met Lucifer yet. Am I supposed to be worried?”
“No. Lucifer’ll meet you in his own time. He tends to dislike attention, especially from new people in the palace,” I assured. “I promise you, you will meet Lucifer. He’ll come when he’s ready.”
Radha smiled. “I hope so. I’d like to meet him soon. I’ve heard a lot about him from Damien, so...”
I chuckle. “Yeah. Lucifer may not admit it to you, but he is very fond of Damien.” I brushed my hands down her sides, rubbing the towel over her body. “To be honest, I know that they both like each other. Damien’s attraction is a bit more obvious than Lucifer’s, but Lucifer keeps denying anything apart from a platonic relationship between them.” I sighed. “It’s becoming a chore to listen to, nowadays, especially because Lucifer tends to babble whenever he knows he’s wrong, but presses to make his point anyway.”
Radha giggled, passing me the clothes that I had dropped onto the ground. “I’m sure they’ll come together in their own time,” she said, grinning warmly. She easily pulled on her nightclothes, the silky white nightgown modestly covering her body from any perverted, prying eyes (aka, me).
She led me silently out of the bathroom, and I knew that our earlier passion was still on both of our minds, especially when I saw her hesitate at her bed. I was going to tell her that I should be heading to my room, when a knock on her door startled the both of us into nearly collapsing atop each other.
“Saira? What is it? What’s wrong?” Radha asked as she opened the door. I loomed above her, trying to decipher the look on Saira’s face. It was a mix between annoyed and uncertain, based on the pull of her lip and the crease in her brow.
“It’s...your contact...he’s arrived.”